I strongly believe that it is rather important to be a good listener. And although I have become a better listener than I was ten years ago, I have to admit I'm still only an adequate¹ listener.

 

Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It's being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently² for your chance to respond. In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic³ of the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It's almost like our goal is to have no time gaps⁴ between the conclusion of the sentence of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own. My wife and I were recently at a cafe having lunch, eavesdropping⁵ on the conversations around us. It seemed that no one was really listening to one another, instead they were taking turns not listening to one another.I asked my wife if I still did the same thing. With a smile on her face she said, "Only sometimes." Slowing down your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you'll notice that it takes an enormous⁶ amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire back your response. But as you wait for the person you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently⁷ to what is being said, you'll notice that the pressure you feel is off. You'll immediately feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to. They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won't feel in competition with you for "air time"! Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance⁸ the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.

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