Stealing dogs has never been so good! If you're a cheapo who is looking to steal away man's best friend, choose this how-to. Maybe you want a free dog, steal one! Though stealing a dog will probably get you put into prison. If you're that lonely and that in need of someone, or something to talk to, just take a dog, the original owner will understand!

 

 

Oh honey don't worry, I'm just reading about how to make a dirty movie...What?! Wouldn't it be more precise to watch how to make a dirty movie? If you don't know how to make a dirty movie, that might tell you something, or a few things. But let's not go there. I guess some people just aren't romantic or errr...that perverted¹? Whichever you think fits best.

 

 

I hope that this book was written by an ex-Pope, but it probably wasn't, seeing as how writing about how to be a pope is probably a sin in one way or another. Anyone who is reading about how to be a pope, shouldn't be a pope in the first place. Those who are destined³ to live in the Vatican generally know what their duties will be as a pope while they are archbishop or something.

 

 

Now...maybe I'm not religious enough, or maybe I think too much, something, but who in their right mind believes that they can actually live forever? There isn't a cycle to break. Life has a beginning, and an end. Maybe an afterlife, no one is too sure, but a book about how to be immortal⁴? Interesting, to say the least.

 

I'm sure this would be a great book, if dragons really existed. Maybe they live and exist inside of your imagination, but not in mine. Besides, who'd want to keep an animal that can literally⁵ open its mouth and blowtorch you to death? I'd gladly pass on that option. If you ever cross paths with a dragon, find this book.

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