婚姻、爱情与自由
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-02-15 05:49 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)

You are asking, "Is it possible to be married and to be free?"

If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously, then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game -- it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality -- it is a fiction.

But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically1. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad, be happy.

If there was light it would be a little difficult -- what will others think? And they know perfectly2 well that the screen is empty -- there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.

And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously -- and from that seriousness begins our problem.

In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone -- it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.

Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty3 priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don't want to stand alone and aloof4, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game:

"Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere5 in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom -- but not becoming a burden on each other.

And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon6 is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much -- and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden -- but the spring is over.

Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery7 to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment9 for me."

Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom.

If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.

So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake -- just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison8 you and bind10 you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.

You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.

Do you think it is the same bird? Superficially, yes, it is the same bird who was flying in the sky; but deep down it is not the same bird -- because where is its sky, where is its freedom?

This golden cage may be valuable to you; it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird, to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.



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1 tragically 7bc94e82e1e513c38f4a9dea83dc8681     
adv. 悲剧地,悲惨地
参考例句:
  • Their daughter was tragically killed in a road accident. 他们的女儿不幸死于车祸。
  • Her father died tragically in a car crash. 她父亲在一场车祸中惨死。
2 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
3 crafty qzWxC     
adj.狡猾的,诡诈的
参考例句:
  • He admired the old man for his crafty plan.他敬佩老者的神机妙算。
  • He was an accomplished politician and a crafty autocrat.他是个有造诣的政治家,也是个狡黠的独裁者。
4 aloof wxpzN     
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的
参考例句:
  • Never stand aloof from the masses.千万不可脱离群众。
  • On the evening the girl kept herself timidly aloof from the crowd.这小女孩在晚会上一直胆怯地远离人群。
5 interfere b5lx0     
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰
参考例句:
  • If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话,可能弊多利少。
  • When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件,棘手的事情就来了。
6 honeymoon ucnxc     
n.蜜月(假期);vi.度蜜月
参考例句:
  • While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
  • The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。
7 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦
参考例句:
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
8 imprison j9rxk     
vt.监禁,关押,限制,束缚
参考例句:
  • The effect of this one is going to imprison you for life.而这件事的影响力则会让你被终身监禁。
  • Dutch colonial authorities imprisoned him for his part in the independence movement.荷兰殖民当局因他参加独立运动而把他关押了起来。
9 imprisonment I9Uxk     
n.关押,监禁,坐牢
参考例句:
  • His sentence was commuted from death to life imprisonment.他的判决由死刑减为无期徒刑。
  • He was sentenced to one year's imprisonment for committing bigamy.他因为犯重婚罪被判入狱一年。
10 bind Vt8zi     
vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬
参考例句:
  • I will let the waiter bind up the parcel for you.我让服务生帮你把包裹包起来。
  • He wants a shirt that does not bind him.他要一件不使他觉得过紧的衬衫。
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