Words of Wisdom for the Modern Age 

　　IN This ARTICLE: Wisdom today means something different for the young, modem¹ Western generation. 

　　Wisdom of the ancients always served civilisation² well. In the age of the TV sitcom³ , witty⁴ New York repartee⁵ and the instant one-liner, Western wisdom in the modern sense can mean something more like the dialogue from an American sitcom. Here’s sampling of the some of the wittier⁶ one-lines circulating through Western society circles these days: 

　　I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
　　I love deadlines. I especially like the wooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
　　Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
　　Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
　　Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing them again.
　　On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
　　You are slower than a herd⁷ of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
　　Do not meddle⁸ in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup⁹.
　　Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
　　Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. 
　　Don’t be irreplaceable--if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. 
　　Eat one live frog the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
　　Everything can be filed under miscellaneous. 
　　You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. 
　　When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question "how would adventure star Indiana Jones handle this?" 
　　I don’t have an attitude problem. you have a perception problem. 

　　本文简介：对今天西方的年轻一代来说，智慧别有一番含义。

　　古人的智慧对文明总是大有裨益。在电视情景喜剧、纽约式的机智问答和即兴的单句俏皮话大行其道的时代，现代意义上的西方智慧更像是一出美国情景喜剧里对白之类的东西。以下是近来在西方社会流传的一些具有代表性的单句睿语：

　　我每天只能取悦一个人。今天轮不到你。明天看上去也不太妙。
　　我喜欢最后期限。我尤其喜欢它们飞驰而过时发出的嗖嗖声。
　　告诉我你需要什么，然后我会告诉你没有它怎么过。
　　接受这一事实－－有时你是在雕像上随意排泄的鸽子，有时你是那倒霉的雕像。
　　需要某个人就像需要一顶降落伞。如果他们第一时间不在场，你就可能再也没有需要他们的机会了。
　　在生活的键盘上，始终要把一个手指按在“退出”键上。
　　你比一群在花生酱中乱窜的海龟还要慢。
　　不要插手凶龙恶兽的事，因为你是松脆的，而被涂上番茄酱后味道好极了。
　　每个人在别人眼中都是怪物。
　　千万别和白痴争论。他们会把你拉低到和他们同等的水平，再用经验击败你。
　　切勿成为不可替代的人－－如果没人能取代你，你便无法得到提升。
　　如果早晨第一件事就是吃一只活青蛙，那么余下的一天便不会有更糟的事发生了。
　　每件东西都可归入杂项。
　　老板偶然来到你的办公桌时，你总是在做一些无关紧要的事。
　　碰到难题时，把它简化成这样一个问题——“惊险片明星印第安那·琼斯会怎样处理？”－－你就能比较容易地解决它了。
　　不是我的态度有问题，而是你的感觉有问题。

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