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When my older son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit2 Hyperactivity Disorder3, my first reaction was relief － I finally knew the reason for his behavior. However, I was also overwhelmed with sadness, fear and anger. I felt sorry for my son and for myself. Like many others in similar circumstances, my question to God was "Why me?"
Through the grace of God, I am now able to focus on my gratitude. I believe God chose me to raise my son because He knew that I would give him the best I have. He will teach me to love and understand him for who he is. I am grateful that I have my son, and grateful that God chose me to be his mother.
There is power and healing in gratitude.
How can gratitude help us in our everyday lives as moms? Think about the difference you can make in your family’s life just by noticing and being thankful for all the great things they do. When you express gratitude, you show your love and appreciation4. Everyone needs to feel these things every day. Sometimes as moms we feel that no one appreciates us － and it is true that moms are usually last on the list to be thanked. One way you can teach gratitude is by example. Even on the days when it seems your children or husband are doing everything wrong, find a reason to thank them. Take the time and energy to look for the good. Think about the things that your family does that deserve a “Thank you.” You might say to your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family," or, to your child, “I really appreciate your sense of humor － it feels good to laugh.” Expressing your gratitude helps family members to understand how it feels to be appreciated. And if they still don’t catch on, let them know when you feel unappreciated. You can also tell them how great it makes you feel when they do express gratitude.
Gratitude is a wonderful motivator when you need cooperation. When enlisting5 the help of my two year old, I praise him often and with enthusiasm. I let him know that he is a great helper. I know I am teaching him appreciation because he expresses it to me. The other day I brought a bunch of multi-colored roses home. For five days, at least once or twice a day, my son thanked me for the flowers.
Sometimes we get so busy and caught up in daily life that we forget to be grateful. We expect everyone to do their share without being asked. The only time anyone hears anything is when a chore has not been completed. This attitude, over the long haul, will develop very resentful and uncooperative family members.
When life is good, gratitude is easy. It becomes more challenging to be grateful when we are experiencing hard times. Financial hardship, long-term illness, the death of a loved one and marital6 strife7 can all be trying and difficult. It is hard to find anything to be grateful for. But while pain is inevitable8, suffering is optional. We have a choice in how we view our circumstances. We can turn our hearts to God and trust that he has a plan for us. We can be thankful for the lessons we learn and the opportunities for personal growth and transformation9. Look at all the people in this world who share the gifts they received during especially difficult times of their life. It is the painful times of my life that have made me stronger, wiser, and more loving today.
I recently attended a powerful seminar on the various levels of energy that a human being emanates10. The presenter11 identified seven different levels of energy. The first level of energy is defined by feelings of apathy12 and thoughts of victimization. A person at a level two energy has feelings of anger and thoughts of conflict. As a person moves up the energy scale, their feelings and thoughts are more positive. At level seven, one would experience unconditional13 love and no judgmental thoughts. Only God radiates at level seven. The average person emits energy at a level of 2.5. To experience peace and joy, an in- dividual must raise his energy level to 5 or 6.
So how can we raise our energy level and open our heart to joy? One powerful way is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Look at every- one with grateful eyes. Listen to your heart and the heart of your loved ones. Speak words of affirmation every day of your life. Be grateful for your life with all its lessons and blessings14. The more grateful thoughts and feelings you experience and express the more instrumental you will be in healing the world. And your outlook on life will improve in the process.
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当我的大儿子被确诊为“注意缺陷多动障碍”时，我的第一反应就是放松——我终于知道他那些行为举止的原因所在了。然而，我也陷入了悲伤、畏惧和愤怒的深渊。我既为儿子也为我自己感到难过。像其他很多处于相似境况的人一样，我也禁不住要问上帝：“为什么是我？”
由于上帝的恩惠，我现在可以把心思集中在感恩上了。我相信，上帝选择我来养育我的儿子是因为他相信我会把我最好的东西给予儿子。上帝教导我去爱、去理解儿子的一切。我很感激上帝选择我作儿子的母亲。
这是感恩的力量和疗伤作用。
作为母亲，感恩在日常生活中又能如何帮助我们呢？通过注意和感谢家人所做的一切伟大的事情，想想你能为家庭生活带来什么变化。当你表示感恩的时候，就展现出了你的爱心和感激。每个人每天都需要这些感受。作为母亲，有时候会感到没有人感激我们——事实上也是如此，母亲总是最后一个被感谢的人。你传授感恩的一个方法就是自己树立榜样。即便有一天你的孩子和丈夫把所有的事情都搞错了，你也要找个理由感谢他们，花些时间和精力，寻找好的地方。想想你的家人所做的事情，哪些值得你说一句“谢谢”。你可以对丈夫说一句：“谢谢你为我们的家努力工作，”或者对孩子说：“我非常欣赏你的幽默感——笑笑真好。”表达你的感激会帮助你的家人理解收到感激的心情。如果他们还是无法领悟，那就在你需要感激的时候告诉他们。你也可以告诉他们，当他们向你表达感激时你的感受。
在你需要合作的时候，感激之情就是一股巨大的推动力。当我获得我2岁儿子的帮助时，我经常满怀激情地表扬他。我要让他知道他帮了我很大的忙。我知道，因为他要感激我，所以我就要教他学会感激。几天前，我带回家一束颜色各异的玫瑰花，一连五天，他几乎每天都要说几次谢谢。
有时，我们过于繁忙，忙于芜杂的生活琐事，连感激都忘记了。我们期望每个人都能够自觉地尽职尽责，在这个时间每个人所能听到的就是做完活。这种态度，日积月累，在家人之间就会发展为抱怨和不和。
生活安稳的时候，表达感激就会很简单。但是，当我们面对艰辛的生活时，表达感激就很难了。经济困难，长期疾病，亲人过世和婚姻纠纷这些都可能让人心烦，给生活带来困难。这时候，甚至连找一个感激的理由都很难。虽然痛苦无法避免，但我们有权选择是否接受痛苦，有权选择我们该如何看待我们周围的环境。我们可以相信上帝，相信上帝会给我们做好安排的。我们感激经验教训，感激给个人成长和变化的机遇。看看大千世界中的芸芸众生，他们在生活的艰难中获得了礼物。正是生活中的那些痛苦时期让我更加坚强，更加聪明，更加热爱今天！
最近，我参加了一个很有影响的研讨班，讨论的主题是人类产生的多级能量。与会者把能量分成7级。第一级能量是根据冷漠的感情和牺牲他人的思想而定义的；第二级能量的人怀有愤怒的感情和对抗的思想；人的能量级别越高，他的感情和思想也就更加积极。在第七级别，人就会获得自由的爱和辨证的思想。只有上帝才能达到第七级。人类平均拥有的能量级别为2.5。要想拥有和平和欢乐，个人的能量级别必须达到5或6。
那么我们该如何提高我们的能量级别呢？如何敞开胸怀拥抱欢乐呢？一个有效的方法就是养成感激的态度。看下那些感激的眼神，聆听你的内心和你所爱的人的内心，每天说些肯定的话，感激你的生命所拥有的教训和祝福。你拥有的感激的思想和感情越多，你对社会的作用就越大，你对生命的见解也会更深。
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