Everybody has blue days.

These are miserable¹ days when you feel lousy（讨厌的） , grumpy, lonely, and utterly² exhausted³.

Days when you feel small and insignificant⁴,

when everything seems just out of reach.

You can’t rise to the occasion.

Just getting started seems impossible.

On blue days you can become paranoid（偏执狂） that everyone is out to get you.

This is not always such a bad thing.

You feel frustrated⁵ and anxious, which can induce a nail-biting frenzy⁶ that can escalate⁷ into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake-eating frenzy in a blink of an eye!

On blue days you feel like you’re floating in an ocean of sadness.

You’re about to burst into tears at any moment and you don’t even know why.

Ultimately, you feel like you’re wandering through life without purpose.

You’re not sure how much longer you can hang on,

and you feel like shouting, “Will someone please shout me!”

It doesn’t take much to bring on a blue day.

You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best,

find some new wrinkles（皱纹） , put on a little weight, or get a huge pimple⁸ on your nose.

You could forget your date’s name or have an embarrassing photograph published.
 
You might get dumped, divorced, or fired, make a fool of yourself in public, be afflicted⁹ with a demeaning（降低身份的） nickname,

or just have a plain old bad-hair day.

Maybe work is a pain in the butt¹⁰.

You’re under major pressure to fill someone else’s shoes,

your boss is picking on you,

and everyone in the office is driving you crazy.

You might have a splitting headache,

or a slipped dish, bad breath, a toothache, chronic¹¹ gas, dry lips,

or a nasty ingrown（向内生长的） toenail.

Whatever the reason, you’re convinced that someone up there doesn’t like you.

Oh what to do, what to dooo?

Well, if you’re like most people,

you’ll hide behind a flimsy（脆弱的） belief that everything will sort itself out.

Then you’ll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder,

waiting for everything to go wrong all over again.
 
All the while becoming crusty（易怒的） and cynical¹² or a pathetic（可怜的） , sniveling victim.

Until you get so depressed¹³ that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up or, even worse, become addicted¹⁴ to Billy Joel songs.

This is crazy,

because you’re only young once and you’re never old twice.