In the past two weeks we have looked at the happiness formula defined by positive psychologist Martin Seligman, where H (happiness) = S (your biological set point for feeling happy) + C (the conditions of your life) + V (the voluntary choices you make). Next, we'll look at the conditions in life that can improve our happiness quotient.
Step 1: Peace and quiet
Jonathon Haidt in his excellent book, 'The Happiness Hypothesis', notes that research shows that we can never completely adapt to new or
chronic1 noise pollution. Loud noises trigger one of our most
primitive2 fear responses (the other is the fear of falling) and we can never
fully3 relax if we are surrounded by
intrusive4(打扰的) noise. Noisy neighbors are one of the most emotive causes of domestic upset for a very good reason. It is essential to have some peace and quiet every day. If you are unfortunate enough to live somewhere noisy, persist with complaining to your local council. Additionally, try wearing wax earplugs to give you some
respite5. If you need your TV, radio or music up loud, wearing headphones demonstrates
altruism6(利他主义) to your neighbors, which will make you and them feel good.
Step 2: Relationships
This is the most important of all the external conditions that can improve your happiness
quotient(商,系数). Often our deepest sources of unhappiness are found in poor relationships with others. A colleague at work who
bullies7 or dismisses us creates
untold8 wretchedness(可怜,不幸). A cruelly conflictual relationship with a partner or lover leaves us feeling betrayed and abandoned. A relationship with our parents or children which is not based on
compassionate9,
unconditional10 regard creates
isolation11 and
misery12. We never fully adapt to hostile relationships, they invidiously contaminate our wellbeing,
squatting13 inside our minds as unresolved, destructive ruminations. When faced with such relationships, the most positive thing we can do is to either mend the relationship by confronting what is going wrong or learn to move on.
Step 3: Share
If I have discovered conditions or choices in life that have significantly improved my wellbeing, I would like to share them with you. Passing on what works is essential to improve our own and the wellbeing of others.