空幻之屋15

时间：2024-12-31 10:04:44

（单词翻译:单击）

Nine
John Christow came out from the chestnut1 woods on to the green slope by the house. There was a
moon and the house basked2 in the moonlight with a strange innocence3 in its curtained windows.
He looked down at the wristwatch he wore.
It was three o’clock. He drew a deep breath and his face was anxious. He was no longer, even
remotely, a young man of twenty-four in love. He was a shrewd, practical man of just on forty,
and his mind was clear and levelheaded.
He’d been a fool, of course, a complete damned fool, but he didn’t regret that! For he was, he
now realized, completely master of himself. It was as though, for years, he had dragged a weight
upon his leg—and now the weight was gone. He was free.
He was free and himself, John Christow—and he knew that to John Christow, successful Harley
Street specialist, Veronica Cray meant nothing whatsoever4. All that had been in the past—and
because that conflict had never been resolved, because he had always suffered humiliatingly5 from
the fear that he had, in plain language, “run away,” so Veronica’s image had never completely left
him. She had come to him tonight out of a dream, and he had accepted the dream, and now, thank
God, he was delivered from it forever. He was back in the present—and it was 3 a.m., and it was
just possible that he had mucked up things rather badly.
He’d been with Veronica for three hours. She had sailed in like a frigate6, and cut him out of the
circle and carried him off as her prize, and he wondered now what on earth everybody had thought
about it.
What, for instance, would Gerda think?
And Henrietta? (But he didn’t care quite so much about Henrietta. He could, he felt, at a pinch
explain to Henrietta. He could never explain to Gerda.)
And he didn’t, definitely he didn’t want to lose anything.
All his life he had been a man who took a justifiable7 number of risks. Risks with patients, risks
with treatment, risks with investments. Never a fantastic risk—only the kind of risk that was just
beyond the margin8 of safety.
If Gerda guessed—if Gerda had the least suspicion….
But would she have? How much did he really know about Gerda? Normally, Gerda would
believe white was black if he told her so. But over a thing like this….
What had he looked like when he followed Veronica’s tall, triumphant9 figure out of that
window? What had he shown in his face? Had they seen a boy’s dazed, lovesick face? Or had they
only observed a man doing a polite duty? He didn’t know. He hadn’t the least idea.
But he was afraid—afraid for the ease and order and safety of his life. He’d been mad—quite
mad, he thought with exasperation—and then took comfort in that very thought. Nobody would
believe, surely, he could have been as mad as that?
Everybody was in bed and sleep, that was clear. The french window of the drawing room stood
half open, left for his return. He looked up again at the innocent, sleeping house. It looked,
somehow, too innocent.
Suddenly he started. He had heard, or he had imagined he heard, the faint closing of a door.
He turned his head sharply. If someone had come down to the pool, following him there. If
someone had waited and followed him back that someone could have taken a higher path and so
gained entrance to the house again by the side garden door, and the soft closing of the garden door
would have made just the sound that he had heard.
He looked up sharply at the windows. Was that curtain moving, had it been pushed aside for
someone to look out, and then allowed to fall? Henrietta’s room.
Henrietta! Not Henrietta, his heart cried in a sudden panic. I can’t lose Henrietta!
He wanted suddenly to fling up a handful of pebbles10 at her window, to cry out to her.
“Come out, my dear love. Come out to me now and walk with me up through the woods to
Shovel11 Down and there listen—listen to everything that I now know about myself and that you
must know, too, if you do not know it already.”
He wanted to say to Henrietta:
“I am starting again. A new life begins from today. The things that crippled and hindered me
from living have fallen away. You were right this afternoon when you asked me if I was running
away from myself. That is what I have been doing for years. Because I never knew whether it was
strength or weakness that took me away from Veronica. I have been afraid of myself, afraid of life,
afraid of you.”
If he were to wake Henrietta and make her come out with him now—up through the woods to
where they could watch, together, the sun come up over the rim12 of the world.
“You’re mad,” he said to himself. He shivered. It was cold now, late September after all. “What
the devil is the matter with you?” he asked himself. “You’ve behaved quite insanely enough for
one night. If you get away with it as it is, you’re damned lucky!” What on earth would Gerda think
if he stayed out all night and came home with the milk?
What, for the matter of that, would the Angkatells think?
But that did not worry him for a moment. The Angkatells took Greenwich time, as it were, from
Lucy Angkatell. And to Lucy Angkatell, the unusual always appeared perfectly13 reasonable.
But Gerda, unfortunately, was not an Angkatell.
Gerda would have to be dealt with, and he’d better go in and deal with Gerda as soon as
possible.
Supposing it had been Gerda who had followed him tonight?
No good saying people didn’t do such things. As a doctor, he knew only too well what people,
high-minded, sensitive, fastidious, honourable14 people, constantly did. They listened at doors, and
opened letters and spied and snooped — not because for one moment they approved of such
conduct, but because before the sheer necessity of human anguish15 they were rendered desperate.
Poor devils, he thought, poor suffering human devils. John Christow knew a good deal about
human suffering. He had not very much pity for weakness, but he had for suffering, for it was, he
knew, the strong who suffer.
If Gerda knew—
Nonsense, he said to himself, why should she? She’s gone up to bed and she’s fast asleep. She’s
no imagination, never has had.
He went in through the french windows, switched on a lamp, closed and locked the windows.
Then, switching off the light, he left the room, found the switch in the hall, went quickly and
lightly up the stairs. A second switch turned off the hall light. He stood for a moment by the
bedroom door, his hand on the doorknob, then he turned it and went in.
The room was dark and he could hear Gerda’s even breathing. She stirred as he came in and
closed the door. Her voice came to him, blurred16 and indistinct with sleep.
“Is that you, John?”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you very late? What time is it?”
He said easily:
“I’ve no idea. Sorry I woke you up. I had to go in with the woman and have a drink.”
He made his voice sound bored and sleepy.
Gerda murmured: “Oh? Goodnight, John.”
There was a rustle17 as she turned over in bed.
It was all right! As usual, he’d been lucky. As usual—just for a moment it sobered him, the
thought of how often his luck had held! Time and again there had been a moment when he’d held
his breath and said, “If this goes wrong.” And it hadn’t gone wrong! But some day, surely, his
luck would change.
He undressed quickly and got into bed. Funny that kid’s fortune. “And this one is over your
head and has power over you…” Veronica! And she had had power over him all right.
“But not anymore, my girl,” he thought with a kind of savage18 satisfaction. “All that’s over. I’m
quit of you now!”

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1 chestnut XnJy8     
n.栗树，栗子
参考例句：
  • We have a chestnut tree in the bottom of our garden.我们的花园尽头有一棵栗树。
  • In summer we had tea outdoors,under the chestnut tree.夏天我们在室外栗树下喝茶。
2 basked f7a91e8e956a5a2d987831bf21255386     
v.晒太阳，取暖( bask的过去式和过去分词 )；对…感到乐趣；因他人的功绩而出名；仰仗…的余泽
参考例句：
  • She basked in the reflected glory of her daughter's success. 她尽情地享受她女儿的成功带给她的荣耀。
  • She basked in the reflected glory of her daughter's success. 她享受着女儿的成功所带给她的荣耀。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 innocence ZbizC     
n.无罪；天真；无害
参考例句：
  • There was a touching air of innocence about the boy.这个男孩有一种令人感动的天真神情。
  • The accused man proved his innocence of the crime.被告人经证实无罪。
4 whatsoever Beqz8i     
adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么
参考例句：
  • There's no reason whatsoever to turn down this suggestion.没有任何理由拒绝这个建议。
  • All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye even so to them.你想别人对你怎样，你就怎样对人。
5 humiliatingly 088455a24027fb4df92a8cca41c5c447     
参考例句：
  • The painting was reproduced humiliatingly small. 那幅画被临摹得很小，而且是小的可怜。
6 frigate hlsy4     
n.护航舰，大型驱逐舰
参考例句：
  • An enemy frigate bore down on the sloop.一艘敌驱逐舰向这只护航舰逼过来。
  • I declare we could fight frigate.我敢说我们简直可以和一艘战舰交战。
7 justifiable a3ExP     
adj.有理由的，无可非议的
参考例句：
  • What he has done is hardly justifiable.他的所作所为说不过去。
  • Justifiable defense is the act being exempted from crimes.正当防卫不属于犯罪行为。
8 margin 67Mzp     
n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘
参考例句：
  • We allowed a margin of 20 minutes in catching the train.我们有20分钟的余地赶火车。
  • The village is situated at the margin of a forest.村子位于森林的边缘。
9 triumphant JpQys     
adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的
参考例句：
  • The army made a triumphant entry into the enemy's capital.部队胜利地进入了敌方首都。
  • There was a positively triumphant note in her voice.她的声音里带有一种极为得意的语气。
10 pebbles e4aa8eab2296e27a327354cbb0b2c5d2     
[复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 )
参考例句：
  • The pebbles of the drive crunched under his feet. 汽车道上的小石子在他脚底下喀嚓作响。
  • Line the pots with pebbles to ensure good drainage. 在罐子里铺一层鹅卵石，以确保排水良好。
11 shovel cELzg     
n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出
参考例句：
  • He was working with a pick and shovel.他在用镐和铲干活。
  • He seized a shovel and set to.他拿起一把铲就干上了。
12 rim RXSxl     
n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界
参考例句：
  • The water was even with the rim of the basin.盆里的水与盆边平齐了。
  • She looked at him over the rim of her glass.她的目光越过玻璃杯的边沿看着他。
13 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地
参考例句：
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
14 honourable honourable     
adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的
参考例句：
  • I don't think I am worthy of such an honourable title.这样的光荣称号，我可担当不起。
  • I hope to find an honourable way of settling difficulties.我希望设法找到一个体面的办法以摆脱困境。
15 anguish awZz0     
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼
参考例句：
  • She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
  • The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。
16 blurred blurred     
v.（使）变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）难以区分；模模糊糊；迷离
参考例句：
  • She suffered from dizziness and blurred vision. 她饱受头晕目眩之苦。
  • Their lazy, blurred voices fell pleasantly on his ears. 他们那种慢吞吞、含糊不清的声音在他听起来却很悦耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》
17 rustle thPyl     
v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声
参考例句：
  • She heard a rustle in the bushes.她听到灌木丛中一阵沙沙声。
  • He heard a rustle of leaves in the breeze.他听到树叶在微风中发出的沙沙声。
18 savage ECxzR     
adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人
参考例句：
  • The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
  • He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。

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