空幻之屋41

时间:2024-12-31 10:13:51

(单词翻译:单击)

Thirty
As she drove towards London, the two phrases echoed through Henrietta’s mind. “What shall I
do? Where shall I go?”
For the last few weeks she had been strung up, excited, never relaxing for a moment. She had
had a task to perform—a task laid on her by John. But now that was over—she had failed—or
succeeded? One could look at it either way. But however one looked at it, the task was over. And
she experienced the terrible weariness of the reaction.
Her mind went back to the words she had spoken to Edward that night on the terrace—the night
of John’s death—the night when she had gone along to the pool and into the pavilion and had
deliberately1, by the light of a match, drawn2 Ygdrasil upon the iron table. Purposeful, planning—
not yet able to sit down and mourn—mourn for her dead. “I should like,” she had said to Edward,
“to grieve for John.”
But she had not dared to relax then—not dared to let sorrow take command over her.
But now she could grieve. Now she had all the time there was.
She said under her breath: “John…John.”
Bitterness and black rebellion broke over her.
She thought: “I wish I’d drunk that cup of tea.”
Driving the car soothed3 her, gave her strength for the moment. But soon she would be in
London. Soon she would put the car in the garage and go along to the empty studio. Empty since
John would never sit there again bullying4 her, being angry with her, loving her more than he
wanted to love her, telling her eagerly about Ridgeway’s Disease — about his triumphs and
despairs, about Mrs. Crabtree and St. Christopher’s.
And suddenly, with a lifting of the dark pall5 that lay over her mind, she thought:
“Of course. That’s where I will go. To St. Christopher’s.”
Lying in her narrow hospital bed, old Mrs. Crabtree peered up at her visitor out of rheumy,
twinkling eyes.
She was exactly as John had described her, and Henrietta felt a sudden warmth, a lifting of the
spirit. This was real—this would last! Here, for a little space, she had found John again.
“The pore doctor. Orful, ain’t it?” Mrs. Crabtree was saying. There was relish6 in her voice as
well as regret, for Mrs. Crabtree loved life; and sudden deaths, particularly murders or deaths in
childbed, were the richest parts of the tapestry7 of life. “Getting ’imself bumped off like that!
Turned my stomach right over, it did, when I ’eard. I read all about it in the papers. Sister let me
’ave all she could get ’old of. Reely nice about it, she was. There was pictures and everythink.
That swimming pool and all. ’Is wife leaving the inquest, pore thing, and that Lady Angkatell
what the swimming pool belonged to. Lots of pictures. Real mystery the ’ole thing, weren’t it?”
Henrietta was not repelled8 by her ghoulish enjoyment9. She liked it because she knew that John
himself would have liked it. If he had to die he would much prefer old Mrs. Crabtree to get a kick
out of it, than to sniff10 and shed tears.
“All I ’ope is that they catch ’ooever done it and ’ang ’im,” continued Mrs. Crabtree
vindictively11. “They don’t ’ave ’angings in public like they used to once—more’s the pity. I’ve
always thought I’d like to go to an ’anging. And I’d go double quick, if you understand me, to see
’ooever killed the doctor ’anged! Real wicked, ’e must ’ave been. Why, the doctor was one in a
thousand. Ever so clever, ’e was! And a nice way with ’im! Got you laughing whether you wanted
to or not. The things ’e used to say sometimes! I’d ’ave done anythink for the doctor, I would!”
“Yes,” said Henrietta, “he was a very clever man. He was a great man.”
“Think the world of ’im in the ’orspital, they do! All them nurses. And ’is patients! Always felt
you were going to get well when ’e’d been along.”
“So you are going to get well,” said Henrietta.
The little shrewd eyes clouded for a moment.
“I’m not so sure about that, ducks. I’ve got that mealy- mouthed young fellow with the
spectacles now. Quite different to Dr. Christow. Never a laugh! ’E was a one, Dr. Christow was—
always up to his jokes! Given me some norful times, ’e ’as, with this treatment of ’is. ‘I carn’t
stand anymore of in, Doctor,’ I’d say to him, and ‘Yes, you can, Mrs. Crabtree,’ ’e’d say to me.
‘You’re tough, you are. You can take it. Going to make medical ’istory, you and I are.’ And he’d
jolly you along like. Do anything for the doctor, I would ’ave! Expected a lot of you, ’e did, but
you felt you couldn’t let him down, if you know what I mean.”
“I know,” said Henrietta.
The little sharp eyes peered at her.
“Excuse me, dearie, you’re not the doctor’s wife by any chance?”
“No,” said Henrietta, “I’m just a friend.”
“I see,” said Mrs. Crabtree.
Henrietta thought that she did see.
“What made you come along if you don’t mind me asking?”
“The doctor used to talk to me a lot about you—and about his new treatment. I wanted to see
how you were.”
“I’m slipping back—that’s what I’m doing.”
Henrietta cried:
“But you mustn’t slip back! You’ve got to get well.”
Mrs. Crabtree grinned.
“I don’t want to peg12 out, don’t you think it!”
“Well, fight then! Dr. Christow said you were a fighter.”
“Did ’e now?” Mrs. Crabtree lay still a minute, then she said slowly:
“Ooever shot ’im it’s a wicked shame! There aren’t many of ’is sort.”
We shall not see his like again. The words passed through Henrietta’s mind. Mrs. Crabtree was
regarding her keenly.
“Keep your pecker up, dearie,” she said. She added: “’E ’ad a nice funeral, I ’ope.”
“He had a lovely funeral,” said Henrietta obligingly.
“Ar! I wish I could of gorn to it!”
Mrs. Crabtree sighed.
“Be going to me own funeral next, I expect.”
“No,” cried Henrietta. “You mustn’t let go. You said just now that Dr. Christow told you that
you and he were going to make medical history. Well, you’ve got to carry on by yourself. The
treatment’s just the same. You’ve got to have the guts13 for two—you’ve got to make medical
history by yourself—for him.”
Mrs. Crabtree looked at her for a moment or two.
“Sounds a bit grand! I’ll do my best, ducks. Carn’t say more than that.”
Henrietta got up and took her hand.
“Good-bye. I’ll come and see you again if I may.”
“Yes, do. It’ll do me good to talk about the doctor a bit.” The bawdy14 twinkle came into her eye
again. “Proper man in every kind of way, Dr. Christow.”
“Yes,” said Henrietta. “He was.”
The old woman said:
“Don’t fret15, ducks—what’s gorn’s gorn. You can’t ’ave it back.”
Mrs. Crabtree and Hercule Poirot, Henrietta thought, expressed the same idea in different
language.
She drove back to Chelsea, put away the car in the garage and walked slowly to the studio.
“Now,” she thought, “it has come. The moment I have been dreading—the moment when I am
alone.
“Now I can put it off no longer. Now grief is here with me.”
What had she said to Edward? “I should like to grieve for John.”
She dropped down on a chair and pushed back the hair from her face.
Alone—empty—destitute. This awful emptiness.
The tears pricked16 at her eyes, flowed slowly down her cheeks.
Grief, she thought, grief for John. Oh, John—John.
Remembering, remembering—his voice, sharp with pain:
“If I were dead, the first thing you’d do, with the tears streaming down your face, would be to
start modelling some damn’ mourning woman or some figure of grief.”
She stirred uneasily. Why had that thought come into her head?
Grief—Grief…A veiled figure—its outline barely perceptible—its head cowled.
Alabaster17.
She could see the lines of it—tall, elongated18, its sorrow hidden, revealed only by the long,
mournful lines of the drapery.
Sorrow, emerging from clear, transparent19 alabaster.
“If I were dead….”
And suddenly bitterness came over her full tide!
She thought: “That’s what I am! John was right. I cannot love—I cannot mourn—not with the
whole of me.
“It’s Midge, it’s people like Midge who are the salt of the earth.”
Midge and Edward at Ainswick.
That was reality—strength—warmth.
“But I,” she thought, “am not a whole person. I belong not to myself, but to something outside
me. I cannot grieve for my dead. Instead I must take my grief and make it into a figure of
alabaster….”
Exhibit No. 58. “Grief.” Alabaster. Miss Henrietta Savernake….
She said under her breath:
“John, forgive me, forgive me, for what I can’t help doing.”

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1 deliberately Gulzvq     
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地
参考例句:
  • The girl gave the show away deliberately.女孩故意泄露秘密。
  • They deliberately shifted off the argument.他们故意回避这个论点。
2 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
3 soothed 509169542d21da19b0b0bd232848b963     
v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦
参考例句:
  • The music soothed her for a while. 音乐让她稍微安静了一会儿。
  • The soft modulation of her voice soothed the infant. 她柔和的声调使婴儿安静了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
4 bullying f23dd48b95ce083d3774838a76074f5f     
v.恐吓,威逼( bully的现在分词 );豪;跋扈
参考例句:
  • Many cases of bullying go unreported . 很多恐吓案件都没有人告发。
  • All cases of bullying will be severely dealt with. 所有以大欺小的情况都将受到严肃处理。 来自《简明英汉词典》
5 pall hvwyP     
v.覆盖,使平淡无味;n.柩衣,棺罩;棺材;帷幕
参考例句:
  • Already the allure of meals in restaurants had begun to pall.饭店里的饭菜已经不像以前那样诱人。
  • I find his books begin to pall on me after a while.我发觉他的书读过一阵子就开始对我失去吸引力。
6 relish wBkzs     
n.滋味,享受,爱好,调味品;vt.加调味料,享受,品味;vi.有滋味
参考例句:
  • I have no relish for pop music.我对流行音乐不感兴趣。
  • I relish the challenge of doing jobs that others turn down.我喜欢挑战别人拒绝做的工作。
7 tapestry 7qRy8     
n.挂毯,丰富多采的画面?
参考例句:
  • How about this artistic tapestry and this cloisonne vase?这件艺术挂毯和这个景泰蓝花瓶怎么样?
  • The wall of my living room was hung with a tapestry.我的起居室的墙上挂着一块壁毯。
8 repelled 1f6f5c5c87abe7bd26a5c5deddd88c92     
v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 );使厌恶;排斥;推开
参考例句:
  • They repelled the enemy. 他们击退了敌军。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The minister tremulously, but decidedly, repelled the old man's arm. 而丁梅斯代尔牧师却哆里哆嗦地断然推开了那老人的胳臂。 来自英汉文学 - 红字
9 enjoyment opaxV     
n.乐趣;享有;享用
参考例句:
  • Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同,我们这次访问更加愉快了。
  • After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话,这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。
10 sniff PF7zs     
vi.嗅…味道;抽鼻涕;对嗤之以鼻,蔑视
参考例句:
  • The police used dogs to sniff out the criminals in their hiding - place.警察使用警犬查出了罪犯的藏身地点。
  • When Munchie meets a dog on the beach, they sniff each other for a while.当麦奇在海滩上碰到另一条狗的时候,他们会彼此嗅一会儿。
11 vindictively qe6zv3     
adv.恶毒地;报复地
参考例句:
  • He plotted vindictively against his former superiors. 他策划着要对他原来的上司进行报复。 来自互联网
  • His eyes snapped vindictively, while his ears joyed in the sniffles she emitted. 眼睛一闪一闪放出惩罚的光,他听见地抽泣,心里更高兴。 来自互联网
12 peg p3Fzi     
n.木栓,木钉;vt.用木钉钉,用短桩固定
参考例句:
  • Hang your overcoat on the peg in the hall.把你的大衣挂在门厅的挂衣钩上。
  • He hit the peg mightily on the top with a mallet.他用木槌猛敲木栓顶。
13 guts Yraziv     
v.狼吞虎咽,贪婪地吃,飞碟游戏(比赛双方每组5人,相距15码,互相掷接飞碟);毁坏(建筑物等)的内部( gut的第三人称单数 );取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 );内脏;消化道的下段;肠
参考例句:
  • I'll only cook fish if the guts have been removed. 鱼若已收拾干净,我只需烧一下即可。
  • Barbara hasn't got the guts to leave her mother. 巴巴拉没有勇气离开她妈妈。 来自《简明英汉词典》
14 bawdy RuDzP     
adj.淫猥的,下流的;n.粗话
参考例句:
  • After a few drinks,they were all singing bawdy songs at the top of their voices.喝了几杯酒之后,他们就扯着嗓门唱一些下流歌曲。
  • His eyes were shrewd and bawdy.他的一双眼睛机灵而轻佻。
15 fret wftzl     
v.(使)烦恼;(使)焦急;(使)腐蚀,(使)磨损
参考例句:
  • Don't fret.We'll get there on time.别着急,我们能准时到那里。
  • She'll fret herself to death one of these days.她总有一天会愁死的.
16 pricked 1d0503c50da14dcb6603a2df2c2d4557     
刺,扎,戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 ); 刺伤; 刺痛; 使剧痛
参考例句:
  • The cook pricked a few holes in the pastry. 厨师在馅饼上戳了几个洞。
  • He was pricked by his conscience. 他受到良心的谴责。
17 alabaster 2VSzd     
adj.雪白的;n.雪花石膏;条纹大理石
参考例句:
  • The floor was marble tile,and the columns alabaster.地板是由大理石铺成的,柱子则是雪花石膏打造而成。
  • Her skin was like alabaster.她的皮肤光洁雪白。
18 elongated 6a3aeff7c3bf903f4176b42850937718     
v.延长,加长( elongate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Modigliani's women have strangely elongated faces. 莫迪里阿尼画中的妇女都长着奇长无比的脸。
  • A piece of rubber can be elongated by streching. 一块橡皮可以拉长。 来自《用法词典》
19 transparent Smhwx     
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的
参考例句:
  • The water is so transparent that we can see the fishes swimming.水清澈透明,可以看到鱼儿游来游去。
  • The window glass is transparent.窗玻璃是透明的。

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