尤利西斯（Ulysses）第十五章

The Mabbot street entrance of nighttown, before which stretches an uncobbled transiding set with skeleton tracks, red and green will-o'-the-wisps and danger signals. Rows of flimsy houses with gaping² doors. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fans. Round Rabaiotti's halted ice gondola³ stunted⁴ men and women squabble. They grab wafers between which are wedged lumps of coal and copper⁵ snow. Sucking, they scatter⁶ slowly. Children. The swancomb of the gondola, highreared, forges on through the murk, white and blue under a lighthouse. Whistles call and answer.
THE CALLS Wait, my love, and I'll be with you.

THE ANSWERS Round behind the stable.

(A deaf mute idiot with goggle⁸ eyes, his shapeless mouth dribbling⁹, jerks past, shaken in Saint Vitus' dance. A chain of children's hands imprisons¹¹ him.)

THE CHILDREN Kithoguel Salute¹⁴.

THE IDIOT (Lifts a palsied left arm and gurgles.) Grhahute!

THE CHILDREN Where's the great light?

THE IDIOT (Gobbing.) Ghaghahest.

(They release him. He jerks on. A pygmy woman swings on a rope slung¹⁸ between the railings, counting. A form sprawled²⁰ against a dustbin and muffled²¹ by its arm and hat moves, groans²², grinding growling²³ teeth, and snores again. On a step a gnome²⁴ totting among a rubbish tip crouches²⁵ to shoulder a sack of rags and bones. A crone standing²⁶ by with a smoky oil lamp rams²⁷ the last bottle in the maw of his sack. He heaves his booty, tugs²⁸ askew²⁹ his peaked cap and hobbles off mutely. The crone makes back for her lair³⁰ swaying her lamp. A bandy child, asquat on the doorstep with a papershuttlecock, crawls sidling after her in spurts³², clutches her skirt, scrambles³⁴ up. A drunken navvy ups with both hands the railings of an area, lurching heavily. At a corner two night watch in shoulder capes³⁸, their hands upon their staffholsters, loom³⁹ tall. A plate crashes; a woman screams; a child wails⁴¹. Oaths of a man roar, mutter, cease. Figures wander, lurk⁴³, peer from warrens. In a room lit by a candle stuck in a bottleneck⁴⁴ a slut combs out the tatts from the hair of a scrofulous child. Cissy Caffrey's voice, still young, sings shrill⁴⁵ from a lane.)

CISSY CAFFREY

I gave it to Molly
Because she was jolly,
The leg of the duck
The leg of the duck.
(Private Cart and Private Compton, swaggersticks tight in their oxters, as they march unsteadily rightaboutface and burst together from their mouths a volleyed fart. Laughter of men from the lane. A hoarse⁴⁸ virago⁴⁹ retorts.)
THE VIRAGO Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl.

CISSY CAFFREY More luck to me. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet.

(She sings.)

I gave it to Nelly
To stick in her belly⁵⁰
The leg of the duck
The leg of the duck.
(Private Cart and Private Compton turn and counterretort, their tunics⁵¹ bloodbright in a lampglow, black sockets⁵² of caps on their blond copper polls. Stephen Dedalus and Lynch pass through the crowd close to the redcoats.)
PRIVATE COMPTON (Jerks his finger.) Way for the parson.

PRIVATE CARR (Turns and calls.) What ho, parson!

CISSY CAFFREY (Her voice soaring higher.)

She has it, she got it,
Wherever she put it
The leg of the duck.
(Stephen, flourishing the ashplant in his left hand, chants with joy the introit for paschal time. Lynch, his jockey cap low on his brow, attends him, a sneer⁵⁶ of discontent wrinkling his face.)
STEPHEN Vidi aquam egredientem de templo a latere dextro. Alleluia.

(The famished⁵⁸ snaggletusks of an elderly bawd protrude⁶¹ from a doorway⁶².)

THE BAWD (Her voice whispering huskily.) Sst! Come here till I tell you. Maidenhead inside. Sst.

STEPHEN (Altius aliqantulum) Et omnes ad quos pervenit acqua ista.

THE BAWD (Spits in their trail her jet of venom⁶⁴.) Trinity medicals. Fallopian tube. All prick⁶⁵ and no pence.

(Edy Boardman, sniffling, crouched⁶⁶ with Bertha Supple⁶⁷, draws her shawl across her nostrils⁶⁹.)

EDY BOARDMAN (Bickering.) And say the one: I seen you up Faithful place with your squarepusher, the greaser off the railway, in his cometobed hat. Did you, says I. That's not for you to say, says I. You never seen me in the mantrap with a married highlander⁷¹, says I. The likes of her! Stag that one is. Stubborn as a mule⁷²! And her walking with two fellows the one time, Kildbride the enginedriver and lancecorporal Oliphant.

STEPHEN (Triumphaliter.) Salvi facti i sunt.

(He flourishes his ashplant shivering the lamp image, shattering light over the world. A liver and white spaniel on the prowl slinks after him, growling. Lynch scar's it with a kick.)

LYNCH So that?

STEPHEN (Looks behind.) So that gesture, not music, not odours, would be a universal language, the gift of tongues rendering⁷³ visible not the lay sense but the first entelechy, the structural⁷⁴ rhythm.

LYNCH Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburg street!

STEPHEN We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. Even the allwisest stagyrite was bitted, bridled⁷⁷ and mounted by a light of love.

LYNCH Ba!

STEPHEN Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate⁷⁸ a loaf and a jug⁸⁰? This movement illustrates⁸¹ the loaf and jug of bread and wine in Omar. Hold my stick.

LYNCH Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going?

STEPHEN Lecherous⁸² lynx, to la belle⁸³ dame⁸⁴ sans merci, Georgina Johnson, ad deam qui laetificat juventutem meam.

(Stephen thrusts the ashplant on him and slowly holds out his hands, his head going back till both hands are a span from his breast, down turned in planes intersecting, the fingers about to part, the left being higher.)

LYNCH Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse. Illustrate thou. Here take your crutch⁸⁶ and walk.

(They pass. Tommy Caffrey scrambles to a gaslamp and, clasping, climbs in spasms⁸⁸. From the top spur he slides down. Jacky Caffrey clasps to climb. The navvy lurches against the lamp. The twins scuttle⁹⁰ off in the dark. The navvy, swaying, presses a forefinger⁹¹ against a wing of his nose and ejects from the farther nostril⁶⁸ a long liquid jet of snot. Shouldering the lamp he staggers away through the crowd with his flaring⁹² cresset.

Snakes of river fog creep slowly. From drains, clefts⁹⁴, cesspools, middens arise on all sides stagnant⁹⁵ fumes⁹⁶. A glow leaps in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the river. The navvy staggering forward cleaves⁹⁸ the crowd and lurches towards the tramsiding. On the farther side under the railway bridge Bloom appears flushed, panting, cramming¹⁰⁰ bread and chocolate into a side pocket. From Gillens hairdressers window a composite portrait shows him gallant¹⁰¹ Nelson's image. A concave mirror at the side presents to him lovelorn longlost lugubru Booloohoom. Grave Gladstone sees him level Bloom for Bloom. He passes, struck by the stare of truculent¹⁰³ Wellington but in the con⁵⁷ vex¹⁰⁴ mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of Jollypoldy the rixdix doldy.

At Antonio Babaiotti's door Bloom halts, sweated under the bright arclamps. He disappears. In a moment he reappears and hurries on.)

BLOOM Fish and taters. N. g. Ah!

(He disappears into Olhousen's, the pork butcher's, under the downcoming rollshutter. A few moments later he emerges from under the shutter¹⁰⁷ puffing¹⁰⁸ Poldy, blowing Bloohoom. In each hand he holds a parcel, one containing a lukewarm pig's crubeen, the other a cold sheep's trotter sprinkled with wholepepper He gasps¹¹⁰, standing upright. Then bending to one side he presses a parcel against his rib¹⁰ and groans.)

BLOOM Stitch in my side. Why did I run?

(He takes breath with care and goes forward slowly towards the lampset siding. The glow leaps again.)

BLOOM What is that? A flasher? Searchlight.

(He stands at Cormack's corner watching.)

BLOOM Aurora¹¹² borealis or a steel foundry? Ah, the brigade, of course. South side anyhow. Big blaze. Might be his house. Beggar's bush. We're safe. (He hums cheerfully.) London's burning, London's burning! On fire, on fire! (He catches sight of the navvy lurching through the crowd at the farther side of Talbot street.) I'll miss him. Run. Quick. Better cross here.

(He darts¹¹⁴ to cross the road. Urchins¹¹⁵ shout.)

THE URCHINS Mind out, mister! (Two cyclists, with lighted paper lanterns aswing, swim by him, grazing him, their bells rattling¹¹⁶.)

THE BELLS Haltyaltyaltyall.

BLOOM (Halts erect¹¹⁷ stung by a spasm⁸⁷.) Ow.

(He looks round, darts forward suddenly. Through rising fog a dragon sandstrewer, travelling at caution, slews¹¹⁸ heavily down upon him, its huge red headlight winking¹¹⁹, its trolley¹²⁰ hissing¹²¹ on the wire. The motorman bangs his footgong.)

THE GONG Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo.

(The brake cracks violently. Bloom, raising a policeman's whitegloved hand, blunders stifflegged, out of the track. The motorman thrown forward, pugnosed, on the guidewheel, yells as he slides past over chains and keys.)

THE MOTORMAN Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hattrick?

BLOOM (Bloom trickleaps to the curbstone and halts again. He brushes a mudflake from his cheek with a parcelled hand.) No thoroughfare. Close shave that but cured the stitch. Must take up Sandow's exercises again. On the hands down. Insure against street accident too. The Providential. (He feels his trouser pocket.) Poor mamma's panacea¹²⁴. Heel easily catch in tracks or bootlace in a cog. Day the wheel of the black Maria peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. Third time is the charm. Shoe trick. Insolent¹²⁵ driver. I ought to report him. Tension makes them nervous. Might be the fellow balked¹²⁷ me this morning with that horsey woman. Same style of beauty. Quick of him all the same. The stiff walk. True word spoken in jest. That awful cramp¹²⁹ in Lad lane. Something poisonous I ate. Emblem¹³⁰ of luck. Why? Probably lost cattle. Mark of the beast. (He closes his eyes an instant.) Bit light in the head. Monthly or effect of the other. Brainfogfag. That tired feeling. Too much for me now. Ow!

(A sinister¹³¹ figure leans on plaited legs against O'Beirnes wall, a visage unknown, injected with dark mercury. From under a wideleaved sombrero the figure regards him with evil eye.)

BLOOM Buenos noches, se?orita Blanca, que calle es esta?

THE FIGURE (Impassive, raises a signal arm.) Password. Sraid Mabbot.

BLOOM Haha. Merci. Esperanto. Slan leath. (He mutters.) Gaelic league spy, sent by that fireeater.

(He steps forward. A sackshouldered ragman bars his path. He steps left, ragsackman left.)

BLOOM I beg. (He swerves¹³³, sidles, stepsaside, slips past and on.)

BLOOM Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a fingerpost planted by the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured¹³⁴ that public boon¹³⁵? I who lost my way and contributed to the columns of the Irish Cyclist the letter headed, In darkest Stepaside. Keep, keep, keep to the right. Rags and bones, at midnight. A fence more likely. First place murderer makes for. Wash off his sins of the world.

(Jacky Caffrey, hunted by Tommy Caffrey, runs full tilt¹³⁶ against Bloom.)

BLOOM O!

(Shocked, on weak hams, he halts. Tommy and Jacky vanish there, there. Bloom pats with parcelled hands watch, fobpocket, bookpocket, pursepocket, sweets of sin, potato soap.)

BLOOM Beware of pickpockets¹³⁸. Old thieves' dodge¹³⁹. Collide. Then snatch your purse.

(The retriever approaches sniffling, nose to the ground. A sprawled form sneezes. A stooped bearded figure appears garbed¹⁴² in the long caftan of an elder in Zion and a smoking cap with magenta¹⁴³ tassels¹⁴⁴. Horned spectacles hang down at the wings of the nose. Yellow poison streaks¹⁴⁵ are on the drawn¹⁴⁶ face.)

RUDOLPH Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with drunken goy ever. So. You catch no money.

BLOOM (Hides the crubeen and trotter behind his back and, crestfallen¹⁴⁷, feels warm and cold feetmeat) Ja, ich weiss, papachi.

RUDOLPH What you making down this place? Have you no soul? (With feeble vulture talons¹⁴⁸ he feels the silent face of Bloom) Are you not my son Leopold, the grandson of Leopold? Are you not my dear son Leopold who left the house of his father and left the god of his fathers Abraham and Jacob?

BLOOM (With precaution.) I suppose so, father. Mosenthal. All that's left of him.

RUDOLPH (Severely.) One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money. What you call them running chaps?

BLOOM (In youth's smart blue Oxford¹⁴⁹ suit with white vestslips, narrowshouldered, in brown Alpine¹⁵⁰ hat, wearing gent's sterling¹⁵¹ silver waterbury keyless watch and double curb¹²² Albert with seal attached, one side of him coated with stiffening¹⁵³ mud.) Harriers, father. Only that once.

RUDOLPH Once! Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make you kaput, Leopoldleben. You watch them chaps.

BLOOM (Weakly.) They challenged me to a sprint¹⁵⁵. It was muddy. I slipped.

RUDOLPH (With contempt) Ooim nachez. Nice spectacles for your poor mother!

BLOOM Mamma!

ELLEN BLOOM (In pantomime dame's stringed mobcap, crinoline and bustle¹⁵⁹, widow Twankey's blouse with muttonleg sleeves buttoned behind, grey mittens¹⁶¹ and cameo brooch, her hairplaited in a crisping net, appears over the staircase banisters, a slanted¹⁶² candlestick in her hand and cries out in shrill alarm.) O blessed Redeemer, what have they done to him! My smelling salts! (She hauls up a reef of skirt and ransacks¹⁶³ the pouch¹⁶⁴ of her striped blay petticoat. A phial, an Agnus Dei, a shrivelled potato and a celluloid doll fall out.) Sacred Heart of Mary, where were you at all, at all?

(Bloom, mumbling¹⁶⁵, his eyes downcast, begins to bestow¹⁶⁶ his parcels in his filled pockets but desists, muttering.)

A VOICE (Sharply.) Poldy!

BLOOM Who? (He ducks and wards⁹⁹ off a blow clumsily.) At your service.

(He looks up. Beside her mirage¹⁶⁸ of datepalms a handsome woman in Turkish costume stands before him. Opulent curves fill out her scarlet¹⁶⁹ trousers and jacket slashed¹⁷⁰ with gold. A wide yells cummerbund girdles her. A white yashmak violet in the night, covers her face, leaving free only her lace dark eyes and raven¹⁷³ hair.)

BLOOM Molly!

MARION Welly? Mrs Marion from this out, my dear man, when you speak to me. (Satirically.) Has poor little hubby cold feet waiting so long?

BLOOM (Shifts from foot to foot.) No, no. Not the least little bit.

(He breathes in deep agitation¹⁷⁴, swallowing gulps¹⁷⁵ of air questions, hopes, crubeens for her supper things to tell her excuses, desire, spellbound. A coin gleams on her forehead. On her feet are jewelled toerings. Her ankles are linked by a slender fetterchain. Beside her a camel, hooded¹⁷⁷ with a turreting turban, waits. A silk ladder of innumerable rungs climbs to his bobbing howdah. He ambles³⁶ near with disgruntled hindquarters. Fiercely she slaps his haunch, her goldcurb wristbangles angriling, scolding him in Moorish¹⁸⁰.)

MARION Nebrakada! Feminimum.

(The camel, lifting a foreleg, plucks from a tree a lace mango fruit, offers it to his mistress, blinking, in his cloven hoof¹⁸¹ then droops¹⁸³ his head and, grunting¹⁸⁴, with uplifted neck, fumbles¹⁸⁵ to kneel. Bloom stoops his back for leapfrog.)

BLOOM I can give you... I mean as your business menagerer Mrs Marion... if you...

MARION So you notice some change? (Her hands passing slowly over her trinketed stomacher. A slow friendly mockery in her eyes.) O Poldy, Poldy, you are a poor old stick in the mud! Go and see life. See the wide world.

BLOOM I was just going back for that lotion¹⁸⁶ whitewax, orangeflower water. Shop closes early on Thursday. But the first thing in the morning. (He pats divers¹⁸⁷ pockets.) This moving kidney. Ah!

(He points to the south, then to the east. A cake of new clean lemon soap arises, diffusing¹⁸⁸ light and perfume.)

THE SOAP

We're a capital couple are Bloom and I;
He brightens the earth, I polish the sky.
(The freckled¹⁸⁹ face of Sweny, the druggist, appeals in the disc of the soapsun.)
SWENY Three and a penny, please.

BLOOM Yes. For my wife, Mrs Marion. Special recipe.

MARION (Softly.) Poldy!

BLOOM Yes, ma'am?

MARION Ti trema un poco il cuore?

(In disdain¹⁹⁰ she saunters away, plump as a pampered¹⁹¹ pouter pigeon, humming the duet from Don Giovanni)

BLOOM Are you sure about that Voglio? I mean the pronunciati...

(He follows, followed by the sniffing¹⁹³ terrier. The elderly bawd seizes his sleeve, the bristles¹⁹⁴ of her chinmole glittering.)

THE BAWD Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched. Fifteen. There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk.

(She points. In the gap of her dark den⁶³ furtive¹⁹⁵, rainbedraggled Bridie Kelly stands.)

BRIDIE Hatch street. Any good in your mind?

(With a squeak¹⁹⁶ she flaps her bat shawl and runs. A burly rough pursues with booted strides. He stumbles on the steps, recovers, plunges¹⁹⁸ into gloom. Weak squeaks¹⁹⁹ of laughter are heard, weaker.)

THE BAWD (Her wolfeyes shining.) He's getting his pleasure. You won't get a virgin²⁰⁰ in the flash houses. Ten shillings. Don't be all night before the polis in plain clothes sees us. Sixtyseven is a bitch.

(Leering Gerty MacDowell limps forward. She draws from behind ogling²⁰¹, and shows coyly her bloodied²⁰² clout²⁰³.)

GERTY With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. (She murmurs²⁰⁵.) You did that. I hate you.

BLOOM I? When? You're dreaming. I never saw you.

THE BAWD Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat. Writing the gentleman false letters. Streetwalking and soliciting²⁰⁷. Better for your mother take the strap²⁰⁸ to you at the bedpost, hussy like you.

GERTY (To Bloom.) When you saw all the secrets of my bottom drawer. (She paws his sleeve, slobbering.) Dirty married man! I love you for doing that to me.

(She slides away crookedly²¹¹. Mrs Breen in man's frieze²¹² overcoat with loose bellows²¹³ pockets, stands in the causeway, her roguish eyes wideopen, smiling in all her herbivorous buckteeth.)

MRS BREEN Mr.

BLOOM (Coughs gravely.) Madam, when we last had this pleasure by letter dated the sixteenth instant .

MRS BREEN Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! I caught you nicely! Scamp!

BLOOM (Hurriedly.) Not so loud my name. Whatever do you think me? Don't give me away. Walls have hears. How do you do? It's ages since I. You're looking splendid. Absolutely it. Seasonable weather we are having this time of year. Black refracts heat. Short cut home here. Interesting quarter. Rescue of fallen women Magdalen asylum²¹⁶. I am the secretary...

MRS BREEN (Holds up a finger.) Now don't tell a big fib! I know somebody won't like that. O just wait till I see Molly! (Slily.) Account for yourself this very minute or woe²¹⁷ betide you!

BLOOM (Looks behind.) She often said she'd like to visit. Slumming. The exotic, you see. Negro servants too in livery if she had money. Othello black brute²¹⁸. Eugene Stratton. Even the bones and cornerman at the Livermore christies. Bohee brothers. Sweep for that matter.

(Tom and Sam Bohee, coloured coons in white duck suits, scarlet socks, upstarched Sambo chokers and lace scarlet asters in their buttonholes leap out. Each has his banjo slung. Their paler smaller negroid hands jingle²²⁰ the twingtwang wires. Flashing white Kaffir eyes and tusks⁶⁰ they rattle²²¹ through a breakdown²²² in clumsy clogs²²³, twinging, singing, back to back, toe heel, heel toe, with smackfatclacking nigger lips.)

There's someone in the house with Dina
There's someone in the house, I know,
There's someone in the house with Dina
Playing on the old banjo.
(They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, chuckling²²⁴, chortling, trumming, twanging they diddle diddle cakewalk dance away.)
BLOOM (With a sour tenderish smile.) A little frivol, shall we, if you are so inclined? Would you like me perhaps to embrace you just for a fraction of a second?

MRS BREEN (Screams gaily²²⁵.) O, you ruck! You ought to see yourself!

BLOOM For old sake'sake. I only meant a square party, a mixed marriage mingling²²⁶ of our different little conjugials. You know I had a soft corner for you. (Gloomily.) 'Twas I sent you that valentine of the dear gazelle.

MRS BREEN Glory Alice, you do look a holy show! Killing²²⁷ simply. (She puts out her hand inquisitively²²⁸.) What are you hiding behind your back? Tell us, there's a dear.

BLOOM (Seizes her wrist with his free hand.) Josie Powell that was, prettiest deb in Dublin. How time flies by! Do you remember, harking back in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night Georgina Simpson's housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop²³¹ game, finding the pin blindfold²³² and thoughtreading? Subject, what is in this snuff box?

MRS BREEN You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. You were always a favourite with the ladies.

BLOOM (Squire of dames²³³, in dinner jacket, with watered-silk facings, blue masonic badge in his buttonhole, black bow and mother-of-pearl studs, a prismatic champagne²³⁴ glass tilted²³⁵ in his hand.) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ireland, home and beauty.

MRS BREEN The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song.

BLOOM (Meaningfully dropping his voice.) I confess I'm teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a little teapot at present.

MRS BREEN (Gushingly.) Tremendously teapot! London's tea pot and I'm simply teapot all over me. (She rubs sides with him.) After the parlour mystery games and the crackers²³⁶ from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. Under the mistletoe. Two is company.

BLOOM (Wearing a purple Napoleon hat with an amber²³⁷ halfmoon, his fingers and thumbs passing slowly down to her soft moist meaty palm which she surrenders gently.) The witching hour of night. I took the splinter out of this hand, carefully, slowly. (Tenderly, as he slips on her finger a ruby²³⁸ ring.) Là ci darem la mano.

MRS BREEN (In a onepiece eveningfrock executed in moonlight blue, a tinsel sylph's diadem²³⁹ on her brow with her dancecard fallen beside her moonblue satin slipper²⁴⁰ curves her palm softly, breathing quickly.) Voglio e non. You're hot! You're scalding! The left hand nearest the heart.

BLOOM When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the beast. I can never forgive you for that. (His clenched²⁴¹ fist at his brow.) Think what it means. All you meant to me then. (Hoarsely²⁴².) Woman, it's breaking me! (Dennis Breen, whitetallhatted, with Wisdom Hely's sandwich board, shuffles²⁴³ past them in cadet slippers²⁴⁴, his dull beard thrust out, muttering to right and left. Little Alf Bergan, cloaked in the pall²⁴⁵ of the ace⁴⁷ of spaces, dogs him to left and right, doubled in laughter.)

ALF BERGAN (Points jeering²⁴⁶ at the sandwich boards.) U.p.: Up.

MRS BREEN (To Bloom.) High jinks below stairs. (She gives him the glad eye.) Why didn't you kiss the spot to make it well? You wanted to.

BLOOM (Shocked.) Molly's best friend! Could you?

MRS BREEN (Her pulpy²⁴⁷ tongue between her lips, offers a pigeon kiss.) Hnhn. The answer is a lemon. Have you a little present for me there?

BLOOM (Off handedly.) Kosher. A snack for supper. The home without potted meat is incomplete. I was at Leah. Mrs Bandman Palmer. Trenchant²⁴⁸ exponent²⁴⁹ of Shakespeare. Unfortunately threw away the programme. Rattling good place round there for pig's feet. Feel.

(Richie Goulding, three ladies' hats pinned on his head, appears weighted to one side by the black legal bag of Collis and Ward⁹⁷ on which a skull²⁵⁰ and crossbones are painted in white limewash. He ins it and shows it full of polonies, kippered, herrings, Findon haddies and tightpacked pills.)

RICHIE Best value in Dub²²⁹.

(Bald Pat, bothered beetle²⁵², stands on the curbstone, folding his napkin, waiting to wait.)

PAT (Advances with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy²⁵³.) Steak and kidney. Bottle of lager. Hee hee hee. Wait till I wait.

RICHIE Goodgod. Inev erate inall...

(With hanging head he marches doggedly²⁵⁴ forward. The navvy, lurching by, gores²⁵⁵ him with his flaming pronghorn.)

RICHIE (With a cry of pain, his hand to his back) Ah! Bright's! Lights!

BLOOM (Points to the navvy.) A spy. Don't attract attention. I hate stupid crowds. I am not on pleasure bent²⁵⁶. I am in a grave predicament.

MRS BREEN Humbugging and delutbering as per usual with your cock and bull story.

BLOOM I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here. But you must never tell. Not even Molly. I have a most particular reason.

MRS BREEN (All agog²⁵⁷.) O, not for worlds.

BLOOM Let's walk on. Shall us?

MRS BREEN Let's.

(The bawd makes an unheeded sign. Bloom walks on with Mrs Breen. The terrier follows, whining²⁵⁸ piteously, wagging his tail.)

THE BAWD Jewman's melt!

BLOOM (In an oatmeal sporting suit, a sprig of woodbine in the lapel, tony buff shirt, shepherd's plaid Saint Andrew's cross scarftie, white spats²⁶⁰, fawn²⁶¹ dustcoat on his arm, tawny²⁶² red brogues, fieldglasses in bandolier and a grey billycock hat.) Do you remember a long long time, years and years ago, just after Milly, Marionette²⁶³ we called her, was weaned when we all went together to Fairyhouse races, was it?

MRS BREEN (In smart Saxe tailormade, white velours hat and spider veil.) Leopardstown.

BLOOM I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old fiveseater shanderadan of a waggonette you were in your heyday²⁶⁵ then and you had on that new hat of white velours with a surround of molefur that Mrs Hayes advised you to buy because it was marked down to nineteen and eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay you what you like she did it on purpose...

MRS BREEN She did, of course, the cat! Don't tell me! Nice adviser²⁶⁸!

BLOOM Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky little tammy toque with the bird of paradise wing in it that I admired on you and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was a pity to kill it, you cruel creature, little mite²⁶⁹ of a thing with a heart the size of a fullstop.

MRS BREEN (Squeezes his arm, simpers.) Naughty cruel I was.

BLOOM (Low, secretly, ever more rapidly.) And Molly was eating a sandwich of spiced beef out of Mrs Joe Gallaher's lunch basket. Frankly²⁷⁰, though she had her advisers²⁷¹ or admirers, I never cared much for her style. She was .

MRS BREEN Too.

BLOOM Yes. And Molly was laughing because Rogers and Maggot O'Reilly were mimicking²⁷² a cock as we passed a farmhouse²⁷³ and Marcus Tertius Moses, the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across .

MRS BREEN (Eagerly.) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

(She fades from his side. Followed by the whining dog he walks on towards hellsgates. In an archway a standing woman, bent forward, her feet apart, pisses cowily. Outside a shuttered pub a bunch of loiterers listen to a tale which their broken snouted gaffer rasps out with raucous²⁷⁴ humour. An armless pair of them flop²⁷⁵ wrestling, growling, in maimed sodden²⁷⁶ playfight.)

THE GAFFER (Crouches, his voice twisted in his snout.) And when Cairns came down from the scaffolding in Beaver²⁷⁷ Street what was he after doing it into only into the bucket of porter that was there waiting on the shavings for Derwan's plasterers.

THE LOITERERS (Guffaw with cleft⁹³ palates.) O jays!

(Their paintspeckled hats wag. Spattered with size and lime of their lodges²⁷⁹ they frisk limblessly about him.)

BLOOM Coincidence too. They think it funny. Anything but that. Broad daylight. Trying to walk. Lucky no woman.

THE LOITERERS Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays, into the men's porter.

(Bloom passes. Cheap whores, singly, coupled, shawled, dishevelled, call from lanes, doors, corners.)

THE WHORES Are you going far, queer fellow? How's your middle leg? Got a match on you? Eh, come here till I stiffen¹⁵² it for you.

(He plodges through their sump towards the lighted street beyond. From a bulge²⁸⁰ of window curtains a gramophone rears a battered²⁸¹ brazen²⁸² trunk. In the shadow a shebeenkeeper haggles²⁸³ with the navvy and the two redcoats.)

THE NAVVY (Belching.) Where's the bloody²⁸⁴ house?

THE SHEBEENKEEPER Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout²⁸⁵. Respectable woman.

THE NAVVY (Gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward with them.) Come on, you British army!

PRIVATE CARR (Behind his back.) He aint half balmy.

PRIVATE COMPTON (LAughs.) What ho!

PRIVATE CARR (To the navvy.) Portobello barracks canteen. You ask for Carr. Just Carr.

THE NAVVY (Shouts.)

We are the boys. Of Wexford.

PRIVATE COMPTON Say! What price the sergeantmajor?

PRIVATE CARR Bennett? He's my pal¹⁶. I love old Bennett.

THENAVVY (Shouts.)

The galling²⁸⁸ chain.
And free our native land.
(He staggers forward, dragging them with him. Bloom stops, at fault. The dog approaches, his tongue outlolling, panting.)
BLOOM Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone. Drunks cover distance double quick. Nice mixup. Scene at Westland row. Then jump in first class with third ticket. Then too far. Train with engine behind. Might have taken me to Malahide or a siding for the night or collision. Second drink does it. Once is a dose. What am I following him for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.

(He gazes ahead reading on the wall a scrawled²⁸⁹ chalk legend Wet Dream and a phallic design.)

Odd! Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown. What's that like? (Gaudy dollwomen loll in the lighted doorways²⁹⁰, in window embrasures, smoking birdseye cigarettes. The odour of the sicksweet weed floats towards him in slow round ovalling wreaths.)

THE WREATHS Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin.

BLOOM My spine²⁹¹'s a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get all pigsticky. Absurd I am. Waste of money. One and eightpence too much. (The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle²⁹² against his hand, wagging his tail.) Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better speak to him first. Like women they like rencontres. Stinks²⁹⁴ like a polecat. Chacun son go?t. He might be mad. Fido. Uncertain in his movements. Good fellow! Garryowen! (The wolfdog sprawls²⁹⁵ on his back, wriggling²⁹⁶ obscenely with begging paws, his long black tongue lolling out.) Influence of his surroundings. Give and have done with it. Provided nobody. (Calling encouraging words he shambles²⁹⁷ back with a furtive poacher's tread, dogged by the setter into a dark stalestunk corner. He unrolls one parcel and goes to dump the crubeen softly but holds back and feels the trotter.) Sizeable for threepence. But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six.

(With regret he lets unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. The mastiff mauls the bundle clumsily and gluts²⁹⁸ himself with growling greed, crunching²⁹⁹ the bones. Two raincaped watch approach, silent, vigilant³⁰⁰. They murmur²⁰⁴ together.)

THE WATCH Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.

(Each lays a hand on Blooms shoulder.)

FIRST WATCH Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance.

BLOOM (Stammers.) I am doing good to others.

(A covey of gulls³⁰³, storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey slime with Banbury cakes in their beaks³⁰⁵.)

THE GULLS Kaw kave kankury kake.

BLOOM The friend of man. Trained by kindness.

(He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high bars tool, sways over the munching³⁰⁶ spaniel.)

BOB DORAN Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw.

(The bulldog growls³⁰⁷, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pigs knuckle³⁰⁸ between his molars through which rabid scrumspittle dribbles³⁰⁹. Bob Doran falls silently into an area.)

SECOND WATCH Prevention of cruelty to animals.

BLOOM (Enthusiastically.) A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on Harold's cross bridge for illusing the poor horse with his harness scab. Bad French I got for my pains. Of course it was frosty and the last tram. All tales of circus life are highly demoralising.

(Signor Maffei, passion pale, in liontamer's costume with diamond studs in his shirtfront, steps forward, holding a circus paper hoop³¹⁰, a curling carriagewhip and a revolver with which he covers the going boarhound.)

SIGNOR MAFFEI (With a sinister smile.) Ladies and gentlemen, my educated greyhound. It was I broke in the bucking³¹² broncho Ajax with my patent spiked³¹³ saddle for carnivores. Lash¹¹¹ under the belly with a knotted thong³¹⁴. Block tackle and a strangling pully will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena³¹⁵. (He glares.) I possess the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (With a bewitching smile.) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring.

FIRST WATCH Come. Name and address.

BLOOM I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! (He takes off his high grade hat, saluting³¹⁶.) Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon. You have heard of von Bloom Pasha. Umpteen³¹⁷ mil lions. Donnerwetter! Owns half Austria. Egypt. Cousin.

FIRST WATCH Proof.

(A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat.)

BLOOM (In red fez, cadi's dress coat with broad green sash, wearing a false badge of the Legion of Honour, picks up the card hastily and offers it.) Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors³¹⁹: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.

FIRST WATCH (Reads.) Henry Flower. No fixed³²⁰ abode³²¹. Un lawfully³²² watching and besetting³²⁴.

SECOND WATCH An alibi³²⁵. You are cautioned.

BLOOM (Produces from his heartpocket a crumpled³²⁶ yellow flower.) This is the flower in question. It was given me by a man I don't know his name. (Plausibly.) You know that old joke, rose of Castille. Bloom. The change of name Virag. (He murmurs privately³²⁸ and confidentially³³⁰.) We are engaged you see, sergeant²⁸⁷. Lady in the case. Love entanglement³³². (He shoulders the second watch gently.) Dash it all. It's a way we gallants have in the navy. Uniform that does it. (He turns gravely to the first watch.) Still, of course, you do get your Waterloo sometimes. Drop in some evening and have a glass of old Burgundy. (To the second watch gaily.) I'll introduce you, inspector³³³. She's game. Do it in shake of a lamb's tail.

(A dark mercurialised face appears, leading a veiled figure.)

THE DARK MERCURY The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of the army.

MARTHA (Thickveiled, a crimson³³⁵ halter round her neck, a copy of the Irish Times in her hand, in tone of reproach, pointing.) Henry! Leopold! Leopold! Lionel, thou lost one! Clear my name.

FIRST WATCH (Sternly.) Come to the station.

BLOOM (Scared, hats himself steps back, then, plucking at his heart and lifting his right forearm on the square, he gives the sign and dueguard of fellowcraft.) No, no, worshipful master, light of love. Mistaken identity. The Lyons mail. Lesurques and Dubosc. You remember the Childs fratricide case. We medical men. By striking him dead with a hatchet³³⁶. I am wrongfully accused. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned³³⁷.

MARTHA (Sobbing behind her veil.) Breach³³⁸ of promise. My real name is Peggy Griffin. He wrote to me that he was miserable³⁴⁰. I'll tell my brother, the Bective rugger fullback, on you, heartless flirt³⁴¹.

BLOOM (Behind his hand.) She's drunk. The woman is inebriated³⁴². (He murmurs vaguely³⁴³ the past of Ephraim.) Shitbroleeth.

SECOND WATCH (Tears in his eyes, to Bloom.) You ought to be thoroughly³⁴⁴ well ashamed of yourself.

BLOOM Gentleman of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare³⁴⁵'s nest. I am a man misunderstood. I am being made a scapegoat³⁴⁶ of. I am a respectable married man, without a stain on my character. I live in Eccles street. My wife, I am the daughter of a most distinguished³⁴⁷ commander, a gallant upstanding gentleman, who do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift.

FIRST WATCH Regiment³⁴⁸.

BLOOM (Turns to the gallery.) The royal Dublins, boys, the salt of the earth, known the world over. I think I see some old comrades in arms up there among you. The R. D. F. With our own Metropolitan³⁴⁹ police, guardians³⁵⁰ of our homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as physique, in the service of our sovereign.

A VOICE Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain?

BLOOM (His hand on the shoulder of the first watch.) My old dad too was a J.P. I'm as staunch a Britisher as you are, sir. I fought with the colours for king and country in the absentminded war under General Gough in the park and was disabled at Spion Kop and Bloemfontein, was mentioned in dispatches. I did all a white man could. (With quiet feeling.) Jim Bludso. Hold her nozzle again the bank.

FIRST WATCH Profession or trade.

BLOOM Well, I follow a literary occupation. Author-journalist. In fact we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the inventor, something that is an entirely³⁵⁴ new departure. I am connected with the British and Irish press. If you ring up...

(Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a quill³⁵⁵ between his teeth. His scarlet beak³⁰⁴ blazes within the aureole of his straw hat. He dangles³⁵⁶ a hank of Spanish onions in one hand and holds with the other hand a telephone receiver nozzle to his ear.)

MYLES CRAWFORD (His cock's wattles wagging.) Hello, seventyseven eightfour. Hello. Freeman's Urinal and Weekly Arse wiper here. Paralyse Europe. You which? Bluebags? Who writes? Is it Bloom?

(Mr Philip Beaufoy, palefaced, stands in the witnessbox, in accurate morning dress, outbreast pocket with peak of handkerchief showing, creased³⁵⁷ lavender trousers and patent boots. He cames a lace portfolio³⁵⁸ labelled Matcham's Masterstrokes.)

BEAUFOY (Drawls.) No, you aren't, not by a long shot if I know it. I don't see it, that's all. No born gentleman, no one with the most rudimentary promptings of a gentleman would stoop to such particularly loathsome³⁶⁰ conduct. One of those, my lord. A plagiarist³⁶¹. A soapy sneak³⁶² masquerading as a literateur. It's perfectly³⁶³ obvious that with the most inherent baseness he has cribbed some of my bestselling books, really gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem²³⁰, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion. The Beaufoy books of love and great possessions with which your lordship is doubtless familiar, are a household word throughout the kingdom.

BLOOM (Murmurs with hangdog meekness³⁶⁵.) That bit about the laughing witch hand in hand I take exception to, if I may... ?

BEAUFOY (His lip upcurled, smiles superciliously³⁶⁶ on the court.) You funny ass⁵³, you! You're too beastly awfully³²³ weird³⁶⁷ for words! I don't think you need over excessively disincommodate yourself in that regard. My literary agent Mr J. B. Pinker is in attendance. I presume, my lord, we shall receive the usual witnesses' fees, shan't we? We are considerably³⁶⁸ out of pocket over this bally pressman johnny, this jackdaw of Rheims, who has not even been to a university.

BLOOM (Indistinctly.) University of life. Bad art.

BEAUFOY (Shouts.) It's a damnably foul³⁶⁹ lie showing the moral rottenness of the man! (He extends his portfolio.) We have here damning evidence, the corpus delicti, my lord, a specimen³⁷⁰ of my maturer work disfigured by the hallmark of the beast.

A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY

Moses, Moses, king of the jews,
Wiped his arse in the Daily News.
BLOOM (Bravely.) Overdrawn³⁷¹.
BEAUFOY You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond, you rotter! (To the court.) Why, look at the man's private life! Leading a quadruple existence! Street angel and house devil. Not fit to be mentioned in mixed society. The arch conspirator³⁷² of the age.

BLOOM (To the court.) And he, a bachelor, how.

FIRST WATCH The King versus³⁷³ Bloom. Call the woman Driscoll.

THE CRIER Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid!

(Mary Driscoll, a slipshod servant girl, approaches. She has a bucket on the crook²⁰⁹ of her arm and a scouringbrush in her hand.)

SECOND WATCH Another! Are you of the unfortunate class?

MARY DRISCOLL (Indignantly.) I'm not a bad one. I bear a respectable character and was four months in my last place. I was in a situation, six pounds a year and my chances with Fridays out, and I had to leave owing to his carryings on.

FIRST WATCH What do you tax him with?

MARY DRISCOLL He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself as poor as I am.

BLOOM (In housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel³⁷⁴ trousers, heelless slippers, unshaven, his hair rumpled³²⁷ softly.) I treated you white. I gave you mementoes, smart emerald garters far above your station. Incautiously I took your part when you were accused of pilfering³⁷⁵. There's a medium in all things. Play cricket.

MARY DRISCOLL (Excitedly.) As God is looking down on me this night if ever I laid a hand to them oysters³⁷⁶!

FIRST WATCH The offence complained of? Did something happen?

MARY DRISCOLL He surprised me in the rere of the premises³⁷⁷, your honour, when the missus was out shopping one morning with a request for a safety pin. He held me and I was discoloured in four places as a result. And he interfered³⁷⁹ twice with my clothing.

BLOOM She counterassaulted.

MARY DRISCOLL (Scornfully.) I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so I had. I remonstrated³⁸⁰ with him, your lord, and he remarked: Keep it quiet!

(General laughter.)

GEORGES FOTTRELL (Clerk of the crown and peace, resonantly³⁸¹.) Order in court! The accused will now make a bogus statement.

(Bloom, pleading not guilty and holding a fullblown waterlily, begins a long unintelligible³⁸³ speech. They would hear what counsel had to say in his stirring address to the grand-jury. He was down and out but, though branded as a black sheep, if he might say so, he meant to reform, to retrieve¹⁴⁰ the memory of the past in a purely³⁸⁴ sisterly way and return to nature as a purely domestic animal. A seven months' child, he had been carefully brought up and nurtured³⁸⁶ by an aged³³¹ bedridden parent. There might have been lapses³⁸⁷ of an erring²⁵¹ father but he wanted to turn over a new leaf and now, when at long last in sight of the whipping post, to lead a homely³⁸⁸ life in the evening of his days, permeated³⁸⁹ by the affectionate surroundings of the heaving bosom³⁹⁰ of the family. An acclimatised Britisher he had seen that summer eve from the footplate of an engine cab of the Loop line railway company while the rain refrained from falling glimpses, as it were, through the windows of loveful households in Dublin city and urban district of scenes truly rural of happiness of the better land with Dockrell's wallpaper at one and ninepence a dozen, innocent British born bairns lisping prayers to the Sacred Infant, youthful scholars grappling with their pensums, model young ladies playing on the pianoforte or anon all with fervour reciting the family rosary round the crackling Yulelog while in the boreens and green lanes the colleens with their swains strolled what times the strains of the organtoned melodeon Britannia metalbound with four acting³⁹¹ stops and twelvefold bellows, a sacrifice, greatest bargain ever... )

(Renewed laughter. He mumbles³⁹² incoherently. Reporters complain that they cannot hear.)

LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND (Without looking up from their notebooks.) Loosen his boots.

PROFESSOR MACHUGH (From the presstable, coughs and calls.) Cough it up, man. Get it out in bits.

(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and the bucket. A lace bucket. Bloom himself Bowel³⁹³ trouble. In Beaver street. Gripe, yes. Quite bad. A plasterers bucket. By walking stifflegged. Suffered untold³⁹⁴ misery³⁹⁵. Deadly agony. About noon. Love or burgundy. Yes, some spinach³⁹⁶. Crucial moment. He did not look in the bucket. Nobody. Rather a mess. Not completely. A Titbits back number.)

(Uproar and catcalls. Bloom, in a torn frockcoat stained with whitewash³⁹⁷, dinged silk hat sideways on his head, a strip of sticking-plaster across his nose, talks inaudibly.)

J. J. O'MOLLOY (In barrister's grey wig³⁹⁸ and stuffgown, speaking with a voice of pained protest.) This is no place for indecent levity³⁹⁹ at the expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor. We are not in a beargarden nor at an Oxford rag nor is this a travesty⁴⁰⁰ of justice. My client is an infant, a poor foreign immigrant who started scratch as a stowaway⁴⁰¹ and is now trying to turn an honest penny. The trumped⁴⁰² up misdemeanour was due to a momentary⁴⁰³ aberration⁴⁰⁴ of heredity, brought on by hallucination, such familiarities as the alleged⁴⁰⁵ guilty occurrence being quite permitted in my client's native place, the land of the Pharaoh. Prima facie, I put it to you that there was no attempt at carnally knowing. Intimacy⁴⁰⁶ did not occur and the offence complained of by Driscoll, that her virtue⁴⁰⁷ was solicited⁴⁰⁸, was not repeated. I would deal inespecial with atavism. There have been cases of shipwreck⁴⁰⁹ and somnambulism in my client's family. If the accused could speak he could a tale unfold one of the strangest that have ever been narrated⁴¹¹ between the covers of a book. He himself, my lord, is a physical wreck⁴¹⁰ from cobbler's weak chest. His submission⁴¹² is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Not all there, in fact.

BLOOM (Barefoot, pigeonbreasted, in lascar's vest and trousers, apologetic toes turned in, opens his tiny mole's eyes and looks about him dazedly⁴¹³, passing a slow hand across his forehead. Then he hitches⁴¹⁴ his belt sailor fashion and with a shrug⁴¹⁵ of oriental obeisance⁴¹⁶ salutes⁴¹⁷ the court, pointing one thumb heavenward.) Him makee velly muchee fine night. (He begins to lilt simply.)

Li li poo lil chile,
Blingee pigfoot evly night.
Payee two shilly...
(He is howled down.)
J. J. O'MOLLOY (Hotly to the populace.) This is a lonehand fight. By Hades, I will not have any client of mine gagged and badgered in this fashion by a pack of curs and laughing hyenas⁴²⁰. The Mosaic⁴²¹ code has superseded⁴²³ the law of the jungle. I say it and I say it emphatically without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice, accused was not accessory before the act and prosecutrix has not been tampered⁴²⁴ with. The young person was treated by defendant⁴²⁵ as if she were his very own daughter. (Bloom takes J. J. O'Molloy's hand and raises it to his lips.) I shall call rebutting⁴²⁶ evidence to prove up to the hilt that the hidden hand is again at its old game. When in doubt persecute⁴²⁸ Bloom. My client, an innately⁴²⁹ bashful man, would be the last man in the world to do anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty⁴³⁰ could object to or cast a stone at a girl who took the wrong turning when some dastard⁴³¹, responsible for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. He wants to go straight. I regard him as the whitest man I know. He is down on his luck at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim in faraway Asia Minor⁴³², slides of which will now be shown. (To Bloom.) I suggest that you will do the handsome thing.

BLOOM A penny in the pound.

(The mirage of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred⁴³³ cattle cropping in silver haze⁴³⁴ is projected on the wall. Moses Dlugacz, ferreteyed albino, in blue dungarees, stands up in the gallery, holding in each hand an orange citron and a pork kidney.)

DLUGACZ (Hoarsely.) Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 13.

(J. J. O'Molloy steps on to a low plinth and holds the lapel of his coat with solemnity. His face lengthens⁴³⁵, grows pale and bearded, with sunken eyes, the blotches⁴³⁶ of phthisis and hectic⁴³⁷ cheekbones of John F. Taylor. He applies his handkerchief to his mouth and scrutinises the galloping⁴³⁹ tide of rosepink blood.)

J. J. O'MOLLOY (Almost voicelessly.) Excuse me, I am suffering from a severe chill, have recently come from a sickbed. A few wellchosen words. (He assumes the avine head, foxy moustache and proboscidal eloquence⁴⁴⁰ of Seymour Bushe.) When the angel's book comes to be opened if aught that the pensive⁴⁴¹ bosom has inaugurated of soultransfigured and of soultransfiguring deserves to live I say accord the prisoner at the bar the sacred benefit of the doubt. (A paper with something written on it is handed into court.)

BLOOM (In court dress.) Can give best references. Messrs Callan, Coleman. Mr Wisdom Hely J. P. My old chief Joe Cuffe. Mr V. B. Dillon, ex-lord mayor of Dublin. I have moved in the charmed circle of the highest . Queens of Dublin Society. (Carelessly.) I was just chatting this afternoon at the viceregal lodge²⁷⁸ to my old pals¹⁷, sir Robert and lady Ball, astronomer⁴⁴² royal, at the levee. Sir Bob, I said...

MRS YELVERTON BARRY (In lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing a sabletrimmed brick quilted dolman, a comb of brilliants and panache⁴⁴³ of osprey in her hair.) Arrest him constable⁴⁴⁵. He wrote me an anonymous⁴⁴⁶ letter in prentice backhand when my husband was in the North Riding of Tipperary on the Munster circuit, signed James Lovebirch. He said that he had seen from the gods my peerless globes as I sat in a box of the Theatre Royal at a command performance of La Cigale. I deeply inflamed⁴⁴⁷ him, he said. He made improper⁴⁴⁹ overtures⁴⁵⁰ to me to misconduct myself at half past four p.m. on the following Thursday, Dunsink time. He offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de Kock, entitled The Girl with the Three Pairs of Stays.

MRS BELLINGHAM (In cap and seal coneymantle, wrapped up to the nose, steps out of her brougham and scans through tortoiseshell quizzingglasses which she takes from inside her huge opossum muff.) Also to me. Yes, I believe it is the same objectionable person. Because he closed my carriage door outside sir Thornley Stoker's one sleety⁴⁵³ day during the cold snap of February ninetythree when even the grid⁴⁵⁴ of the wastepipe and ballstop in my bath cistern⁴⁵⁵ were frozen. Subsequently he enclosed a bloom of edelweiss culled⁴⁵⁶ on the heights, as he said, in my honour. I had it examined by a botanical expert and elicited⁴⁵⁷ the information that it was a blossom of the homegrown potato plant purloined⁴⁵⁸ from a forcingcase of the model farm.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY Shame on him!

(A crowd of sluts and ragamuffins sues forward.)

THE SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS (Screaming.) Stop thief! Hurrah⁴⁵⁹ there, Bluebeard! Three cheers for Ikey Mo!

SECOND WATCH (Produces handcuffs.) Here are the darbies.

MRS BELLINGHAM He addressed me in several handwritings with fulsome⁴⁶¹ compliments as a Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Balmer while in the same breath he expressed himself as envious⁴⁶² of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity⁴⁶³ to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished⁴⁶⁴ sable³⁵³, a buck²¹⁴'s head couped or. He lauded⁴⁶⁵ almost extravagantly⁴⁶⁶ my nether⁴⁶⁷ extremities⁴⁶⁸, my swelling⁴⁷⁰ calves⁴⁷¹ in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure⁴⁷² up. He urged me, stating that he felt it his mission in life to urge me, to defile⁴⁷³ the marriage bed, to commit adultery at the earliest possible opportunity.

THE HONOURABLE⁴⁷⁴ MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (In amazon costume, hard hat, jackboots cockspurred, vermilion waistcoat, fawn musketeer gauntlets with bra idea drums, long train held up and hunting crop with which she strikes her welt constantly.) Also me. Because he saw me on the polo ground of the Phnix park at the match All Ireland versus the Rest of Ireland. My eyes, I know, shone divinely as I watched Captain Slogger Dennehy of the Inniskillings win the final chukkar on his darling cob Centaur⁴⁷⁵. This plebeian⁴⁷⁶ Don Juan observed me from behind a hackney car and sent me in double envelopes an obscene photograph, such as are sold after dark on Paris boulevards, insulting to any lady. I have it still. It represents a partially⁴⁷⁷ nude⁴⁷⁸ senorita, frail⁴⁷⁹ and lovely (his wife as he solemnly assured me, taken by him from nature), practising illicit⁴⁸⁰ intercourse⁴⁸¹ with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. He urged me to do likewise, to misbehave, to sin with officers of the garrison⁴⁸². He implored⁴⁸³ me to soil his letter in an unspeakable manner, to chastise⁴⁸⁴ him as he richly deserves, to bestride and ride him, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping.

MRS BELLINGHAM Me too.

MRS YELVERTON BARRY Me too.

(Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters received from Bloom.)

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (Stamps her jingling⁴⁸⁵ spurs in a sudden paroxysm of sudden fury.) I will, by the God above me. I'll scourge⁴⁸⁶ the pigeonlivered cur as long as I can stand over him. I'll flay⁴⁸⁷ him alive.

BLOOM (His eyes closing, quails⁴⁸⁸ expectantly.) Here? (He squirms.) Again! (He pants cringing⁴⁸⁹.) I love the danger.

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS Very much so! I'll make it hot for you. I'll make you dance Jack⁸⁹ Latten for that.

MRS BELLINGHAM Tan his breech well, the upstart! Write the stars and stripes on it!

MRS YELVERTON BARRY Disgraceful! There's no excuse for him! A married man!

BLOOM All these people. I meant only the spanking⁴⁹¹ idea. A warm tingling⁴⁹² glow without effusion. Refined birching to stimulate⁴⁹³ the circulation.

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (Laughs derisively⁴⁹⁴.) O, did you, my fine fellow? Well, by the living God, you'll get the surprise of your life now, believe me, the most unmerciful hiding a man ever bargained for. You have lashed¹⁷¹ the dormant⁴⁹⁵ tigress in my nature into fury.

MRS BELLINGHAM (Shakes her muff and quizzing-glasses vindictively⁴⁹⁶.) Make him smart, Hanna dear. Give him ginger⁴⁹⁷. Thrash the mongrel within an inch of his life. The cat-o' nine-tails. Geld him. Vivisect him.

BLOOM (Shuddering, shrinking, joins his hands with hangdog mien⁴⁹⁸.) O cold! O shivery! It was your ambrosial⁴⁹⁹ beauty. Forget, forgive. Kismet. Let me off this once. (He offers the other cheek.)

MRS YELVERTON BARRY (Severely.) Don't do so on any account, Mrs Talboys! He should be soundly trounced!

THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS (Unbuttoning her gauntlet violently.) I'll do no such thing. Pig dog and always was ever since he was pupped! To dare address me! I'll flog him black and blue in the public streets. I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. He is a wellknown cuckold. (She swishes her hunting crop savagely⁵⁰¹ in the air.) Take down his trousers without loss of time. Come here, sir! Quick! Ready?

BLOOM (Trembling, beginning to obey.) The weather has been so warm.

(Davy Stephens, ringleted, passes with a bevy⁵⁰² of barefoot newsboys.)

DAVY STEPHENS Messenger of the Sacred Heart and Evening Telegraph with Saint Patrick's Day Supplement. Containing the new addresses of all the cuckolds in Dublin.

(The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of gold cope elevates and exposes a marble timepiece. Before him Father Conroy and the reverend John Hughes S.J. bend low.)

THE TIMEPIECE (Unportalling.)

Cuckoo
Cuckoo
Cuckoo
(The brass⁵⁰³ quoits of a bed are heard to jingle.)
THE QUOITS Jigjag, Jigajiga. Jigjag.

(A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing rapidly in the jurybox the faces of Martin Cunningham, foreman silkhatted, Jack Power Simon Dedalus, Tom Kernan, Ned Lambert, John Henry Menton, Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Paddy Leonard Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the featureless face of a Nameless One.)

THE NAMELESS ONE Bareback riding. Weight for age. Gob, he organised her.

THE JURORS (All their heads turned to his voice.) Really?

THE NAMELESS ONE (Snarls.) Arse over tip. Hundred shillings to five.

THE JURORS (All their heads lowered in assent⁵⁰⁵.) Most of us thought as much.

FIRST WATCH He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack the Ripper. A thousand pounds reward.

SECOND WATCH (Awed, whispers.) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist⁵⁰⁶.

THE CRIER (Loudly.) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a well-known dynamitard, forger⁵⁰⁷, bigamist, bawd and cuckold ad a public nuisance to the citizens of Dublin and whereas at this commission of assizes the most honourable.

(His Honour sir Frederick Falkiner recorder of Dublin, in judicial⁵⁰⁸ garb¹⁴¹ of grey stone rises from the bench, stonebearded. He bears in his arms an umbrella sceptre. From his forehead arise starkly⁵¹⁰ the Mosaic ramshorns.)

THE RECORDER I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid Dublin of this odious⁵¹¹ pest. Scandalous! (He dons the black cap.) Let him be taken, Mr Subsheriff, from the dock where he now stands and detained in custody⁵¹² in Mountjoy prison during His Majesty⁵¹³'s pleasure and there be hanged by the neck until he is dead and therein fail not at your peril⁵¹⁴ or may the Lord have-mercy on your soul. Remove him. (A black skullcap descends⁵¹⁵ upon his head.)

(The subsheriff long John Fanning appears, smoking a pungent⁵¹⁶ Henry Clay.)

LONG JOHN FANNING (Scowls and calls with rich rolling utterance⁵¹⁷.) Who'll hang Judas Iscariot?

(H. Rumbold, master barber in a bloodcoloured jerk in and tanner's apron⁵¹⁸, a rope coiled over his shoulder mounts the block. A life preserver and a nailstudded bludgeon are stuck in his belt. He rubs grimly his grapping hands, knobbed with knuckledusters.)

RUMBOLD (To the recorder with sinister familiarity.) Hanging Harry⁵¹⁹, your Majesty, the Mersey terror. Five guineas a jugular⁵²⁰. Neck or nothing.

(The bells of George's church toll⁵²¹ slowly, loud dark iron.)

THE BELLS Heigho! Heigho!

BLOOM (Desperately⁵²².) Wait. Stop. Gulls. Good heart. I saw. Innocence⁵²³. Girl in the monkeyhouse. Zoo. Lewd⁵²⁵ chimpanzees. (Breathlessly.) Pelvic basin. Her artless blush unmanned me. (Overcome with emotion.) I left the precincts. (He turns to a figure in the crowd, appealing.) Hynes, may I speak to you? You know me. That three shillings you can keep. If you want a little more .

HYNES (Coldly.) You are a perfect stranger.

SECOND WATCH (Points to the corner.) The bomb is here. FIRST WATCH Infernal machine with a time fuse. BLOOM No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral. FIRST WATCH (Draws his truncheon.) Liar³⁶⁴!

(The beagle lifts his snout, showing the grey scorbutic face of Paddy Dignam. He has gnawed⁵²⁷ all. He exhales⁵²⁸ a putrid⁵²⁹ carcasefed breath. He grows to human size and shape. His dachshund coat becomes a brown mortuary habit. His green eyeflashes bloodshot. Half of one ear all the nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten.)

PADDY DIGNAM (In a hollow voice.) It is true. It was my funeral. Doctor Finucane pronounced life extinct when I succumbed⁵³¹ to the disease from natural causes.

(He lifts his mutilated ashen⁵³² face moonwards and bays lugubriously⁵³⁴.)

BLOOM (In triumph.) You hear?

PADDY DIGNAM Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. List, list, O list!

BLOOM The voice is the voice of Esau.

SECOND WATCH (Blesses himself.) How is that possible?

FIRST WATCH It is not in the penny catechism.

PADDY DIGNAM By metempsychosis. Spooks.

A VOICE O rocks.

PADDY DIGNAM (Earnestly.) Once I was in the employ of Mr J. H. Menton, solicitor³¹⁸, commissioner⁵³⁵ for oaths and affidavits⁵³⁶, of 27 Bachelor's Walk. Now I am defunct⁵³⁷, the wall of the heart hypertrophied. Hard lines. The poor wife was awfully cut up. Dow is she bearing it? Keep her off that bottle of sherry. (He looks round him.) A lamp. I must satisfy an animal need. That buttermilk didn't agree with me.

(The portly figure of John O'Connell, caretaker stands forth⁵³⁸, holding a bunch of keys tied with crape. Beside him stands Father Coffey, chaplain, toad⁵⁴⁰ bellied⁵⁴¹, wrynecked, in a surplice and bandanna⁵⁴² nightcap, holding sleepily a staff of twisted poppies.)

FATHER COFFEY (Yawns, then chants with a hoarse croak⁵⁴³.) Namine. Jacobs Vobiscuits. Amen.

(Foghorns⁵⁴⁴ stormily through his megaphone.) Dignam, Patrick T., deceased.

PADDY DIGNAM (With pricked⁵⁴⁵ up ears, winces⁵⁴⁶.) Overtones.

(He wriggles⁵⁴⁸ forward, places an ear to the ground.) My masters' voice!

JOHN O'CONNELL Burial docket letter number U. P. Eightyfive thousand. Field seventeen. House of Keys. Plot, one hundred and one.

(Paddy Dignam listens with visible effort, thinking, his tailstiffpointed, his ears cocked.)

PADDY DIGNAM Pray for the repose⁵⁵⁰ of his soul.

(He worms down through a coal hole, his brown habit trailing its tether over rattling pebbles⁵⁵¹. After him toddles⁵⁵² an obese⁵⁵³ grandfather rat on fungus⁵⁵⁴ turtle paws under a grey carapace⁵⁵⁵. Dignam's voice, muffled, is heard baying under ground: Dignam's dead and gone below. Tom Rochford, robinredbreasted, in cap and breeches, jumps from his two-columned machine.)

TOM ROCHFORD (A hand to his breastbone, bows.) Reuben J. A florin I find him. (He fixes the manhole with a resolute⁵⁵⁶ stare.) My turn now on. Follow me up to Carlow.

(He executes a daredevil salmon⁵⁵⁷ leap in the air and is engulfed⁵⁵⁸ in the coalhole. Two discs on the columns wobble eyes of nought⁵⁵⁹. All recedes⁵⁶⁰. Bloom plodges forward again. He stands before a lighted house, listening. The kisses, winging from their bowers⁵⁶¹, fly about him, twittering, warbling, cooing.)

THE KISSES (Warbling.) Leo! (Twittering.) Icky licky micky sticky for Leo! (Cooing.) Coo coocoo! Yummyumm Wom worn! (Warbling.) Big comebig! Pirouette! Leopopold! (Twittering.) Leeolee! (Warbling.) O Leo!

(They rustle⁵⁶², flutter upon his garments, alight, bright giddyflecks, silvery sequins.)

BLOOM A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here.

(Zoe Higgins, a young whore in a sapphire⁵⁶³ slip, closed with three bronze buckles⁵⁶⁴, a slim black velvet²⁶⁶ fillet round her throat, nods, trips down the steps and accosts⁵⁶⁵ him.)

ZOE Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend.

BLOOM Is this Mrs Mack's?

ZOE No, eightyone. Mrs Cohen's. You might go farther and fare worse. Mother Slipperslapper. (Familiarly.) She's on the job herself tonight with the vet²⁶⁷, her tipster, that gives her all the winners and pays for her son in Oxford. Working overtime⁵⁶⁶ but her luck's turned today. (Suspiciously.) You're not his father, are you?

BLOOM Not I!

ZOE You both in black. Has little mousey any tickles⁵⁶⁷ tonight?

(His skin, alert, feels her fingertips approach. A hand slides over his left thigh⁵⁶⁸.)

ZOE How's the nuts?

BLOOM Off side. Curiously⁵⁶⁹ they are on the right. Heavier I suppose. One in a million my tailor, Mesias, says.

ZOE (In sudden alarm.) You've a hard chancre.

BLOOM Not likely.

ZOE I feel it.

(Her hand slides into his left trouser pocket and brings out a hard black shrivelled potato. She regards it and Bloom with dumb moist lips.)

BLOOM A talisman⁵⁷⁰. Heirloom.

ZOE For Zoe? For keeps? For being so nice, eh?

(She puts the potato greedily into a pocket, then links his arm, cuddling him with supple warmth. He smiles uneasily. Slowly, note by note, oriental music is played. He gazes in the tawny crystal of her eyes, ringed with kohol. His smile softens⁵⁷¹.)

ZOE You'll know me the next time.

BLOOM (Forlornly.) I never loved a dear gazelle but it was sure to.

(Gazelles are leaping, feeding on the mountains. Near are lakes. Round their shores file shadows black of cedargroves. Aroma⁵⁷² rises, a strong hairgrowth of resin⁵⁷³. It burns, the orient, a sky of sapphire, cleft by the bronze flight of eagles. Under it lies the womancity, nude, white, still, cool, in luxury. A fountain murmurs among damask roses. Mammoth⁵⁷⁴ roses murmur of scarlet winegrapes. A wine of shame, lust⁷⁹, blood exudes⁵⁷⁵, strangely murmuring.)

ZOE (Murmuring singsong with the music, her odalisk lips lusciously⁵⁷⁶ smeared⁵⁷⁷ with salve of swinefat and rosewater.) Schorach ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim.

BLOOM (Fascinated.) I thought you were of good stock by your accent.

ZOE And you know what thought did?

(She bites his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth sending on him a cloying⁵⁷⁸ breath of stale garlic. The roses draw apart, disclose a sepulchre of the gold of kings and their mouldering⁵⁷⁹ bones.)

BLOOM (Draws back, mechanically caressing⁵⁸¹ her right bub with a flat awkward hand.) Are you a Dublin girl?

ZOE (Catches a stray hair deftly⁵⁸³ and twists it to her coil.) No bloody fear. I'm English. Have you a swaggerroot?

BLOOM (As before.) Rarely smoke, dear. Cigar now and then. Childish device. (Lewdly.) The mouth can be better engaged than with a cylinder⁵⁸⁴ of rank weed.

ZOE Go on. Make a stump⁵⁸⁵ speech out of it.

BLOOM (In workman's corduroy overalls⁵⁸⁶, black gansy with red floating tie and apache cap.) Mankind is incorrigible⁵⁸⁷. Sir Walter Raleigh brought from the new world that potato and that weed, the one a killer⁵⁸⁸ of pestilence⁵⁸⁹ by absorption, the other a poisoner of the ear, eye, heart, memory, will, understanding, all. That is to say, he brought the poison a hundred years before another person whose name I forget brought the food. Suicide. Lies. All our habits. Why, look at our public life!

(Midnight chimes from distant steeples.)

THE CHIMES Turn again, Leopold! Lord Mayor of Dublin!

BLOOM (In alderman's gown and chain.) Electors of Arran Quay⁵⁹¹, Inns Quay, Rotunda⁵⁹², Mountjoy and North Dock, better run a tramline, I say, from the cattlemarket to the river. That's the music of the future. That's my programme. Cui Bono? But our buccaneering Vanderdeckens in their phantom⁵⁹³ ship of finance...

AN ELECTOR Three times three for our future chief magistrate⁵⁹⁴!

(The aurora borealis of the torchlight procession leaps.)

THE TORCH BEARERS Hooray!

(Several wellknown burgesses, city magnates and freemen of the city shake hands with Bloom and congratulate him. Timothy Harrington, late thrice Lord Mayor of Dublin, imposing⁵⁹⁵ in mayoral scarlet, gold chain and white silk tie, confers with councillor Lorcan Sherlock, locum tenens. They nod vigorously in agreement.)

LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON (In scarlet robe with mace⁵⁹⁶, gold mayoral chain and lace white silk scarf) That alder⁵⁹⁰ man sir Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the expense of the ratepayers. That the house in which he was born be ornamented⁵⁹⁷ with a commemorative tablet and that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork⁵⁹⁸ street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom.

COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK Carried unanimously.

BLOOM (Impassionedly.) These flying Dutchmen or lying Dutchmen as they recline in their upholstered poop, casting dice⁵⁹⁹, what reck they? Machines is their cry, their chimera⁶⁰⁰, their panacea. Laboursaving apparatuses⁶⁰¹, supplanters, bug-bears, manufactured monsters for mutual⁶⁰² murder, hideous⁶⁰³ hobgoblins produced by a horde⁶⁰⁴ of capitalistic lusts⁶⁰⁵ upon our prostituted labour. The poor man starves while they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind⁶⁰⁷ pomp of pelf⁶⁰⁸ and power. But their reign³⁵¹ is rover for rever and ever and ev...

(Prolonged applause. Venetian masts, maypoles and festal arches spring up. A streamer bearing the legends Cead Mille Failte and Mah Ttob Melek Israel spans the street. All the windows are thronged⁶¹⁰ with sightseers, chiefly ladies. Along the route the regiments⁶¹¹ of the royal Dublin Fusiliers, the Kings Own Scottish Boraerers, the Cameron Highlanders and the Welsh Fusiliers, standing to attention, keep back the crowd. Boys from High school are perched on the lampposts, telegraph poles, windowsills, cornices, gutters⁶¹², chimneypots, railings, rainspouts, whistling and cheering. The pillar of the cloud appears. A fife and drum band is heard in the distance playing the Kol Nidre. The beaters approach with imperial eagles hoisted⁶¹³, trailing banners and waving oriental palms. The chryselephantine papal standard rises high, surrounded by pennons of the civic⁶¹⁴ flag. The van of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, city marshal, in a chessboard tabard, the Athlone Poursuivant and Ulster King of Arms. They are followed by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Dublin, the lord mayor of Cork, their worships the mayors of Limerick, Galway, Sligo and Watedord, twentyeight Irish representative peers, sirdars, grandees⁶¹⁷ and maharajahs bearing the cloth of estate, the Dublin Metropolitan Fire Brigade, the chapter of the saints of finance in their plutocratic⁶¹⁸ order of precedence, the bishop of Down and Connor His Eminence⁶¹⁹ Michael cardinal⁶²⁰ Logue archbishop of Armagh, primate⁶²¹ of all Ireland, His Grace, the most reverend Dr William Alexander archbishop of Armagh, primate of all Ireland, the chief rabbi, the presbyterian moderator, the heads of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels⁶²³ and the honorary secretary of the society of friends. her them march the guilds⁶²⁴ and trades and trainbands with flying colours: coopen, bird fanciers, millwrights, newspaper canvassers, law scriveners, masseurs, vintners, trussmakers, chimney sweeps, lard refiners, tabinet and poplin weavers⁶²⁷, farriers, Italian warehousemen, church decorators, bootjack manufacturers, undertaken, silk mercers, lapidaries⁶²⁸, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse repository hands, bullion⁶²⁹ broken, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and potato factors, hosiers and glovers, plumbing⁶³¹ contractors⁶³². After them march gentlemen of the bed chamber³⁵² Black Rod, Deputy Garter Gold Stick, the master of hone, the lord great chamberlain, the earl marshal, the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown, the chalice⁶³³ and bible. Four buglers on foot blow a sennet. Beefeaten reply, winding⁶³⁴ clarions of welcome. Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears bareheaded, in a crimson velvet mantle⁴⁵² trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb⁵²⁶ and sceptre with the dove, the curtana. He is seated on a milkwhite hone with long flowing crimson tail, richly caparisoned, with golden heads tall. Wild excitement. The ladies from their balconies throw down rosepetals. The air is perfumed with essences. The men cheer. Bloom's boys run amid the bystanders with branches of hawthorn⁶³⁵ and wrenbushes.)

BLOOM'S BOYS

The wren⁶³⁶, the wren,
The king of all birds,
Saint Stephen's his day,
Was caught in the furze.
A BLACKSMITH (Murmurs.) For the Honour of God! And is that Bloom? He scarcely looks thirtyone.
A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest reformer. Hats off!

(All uncover their heads. Women whisper eagerly.)

A MILLIONAIRESS (Richly.) Isn't he simply wonderful?

A NOBLEWOMAN (Nobly.) All that man has seen!

A FEMINIST⁶³⁷ (Masculinely.) And done!

A BELLHANGER A classic face! He has the forehead of a thinker.

(Bloom's weather. A sunburst appears in the northwest.)

THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR I here present your un doubted emperor president and king chairman, the most serene⁶³⁸ and potent⁶³⁹ and very puissant⁶⁴⁰ ruler of this realm. God save Leopold the First!

ALL God save Leopold the First!

BLOOM (In dalmatic and purple mantle, to the bishop of Down and Connor with dignity.) Thanks, somewhat eminent⁶⁴¹ sir.

WILLIAM, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH (In purple stock and shovel⁶⁴² hat.) Will you to your power cause law and mercy to be executed in all your judgments⁶⁴³ in Ireland and territories thereunto belonging?

BLOOM (Placing his right hand on his testicles, swears.) So may the Creator deal with me. All this I promise to do.

MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH (Pours a cruse of hair oil over Bloom's head.) Gaudium magnum annuntio vobis. Habemus carneficem. Leopold, Patrick, Andrew, David, George, be thou anointed!

(Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on a ruby ring. He ascends⁶⁴⁵ and stands on the stone of destiny. The representative peers put on at the same time their twentyeight crowns. Joybells ring in Christ church, Saint Patrick's, George's and gay Malahide. Mirus bazaar⁶⁴⁶ fireworks go up from all sides with symbolical⁶⁴⁷ phallopyrotechnic designs. The peers do homage⁶⁴⁸, one by one, approaching and genuflecting⁶⁴⁹.)

THE PEERS I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly worship.

(Bloom holds up his right hand on which sparkles the Koh-i-Noor diamond. His palfrey neighs. Immediate⁶⁵⁰ silence. Wireless⁶⁵¹ intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message.)

BLOOM My subjects! We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix hereditary⁶⁵² Grand Vizier and announce that we have this day repudiated⁶⁵³ our former spouse⁶⁵⁴ and have bestowed⁶⁵⁵ our royal hand upon the princess Selene, the splendour of night.

(The former morganatic spouse of Bloom is hastily removed in the Black Maria. The princess Selene, in moon blue robes, a silver crescent on her head, descends from a Sedan chair borne by two giants. An outburst of cheering.)

JOHN HOWARD PARNELL (Raises the royal standard.) Illustrious Bloom! Successor to my famous brother!

BLOOM (Embraces John Howard Parnell.) We thank you from our heart, John, for this right royal welcome to green Erin, the promised land of our common ancestors.

(The freedom of the city is presented to him embodied⁶⁵⁸ in a charter. The keys of Dublin, crossed on a crimson cushion, are given to him. He shows all that he is wearing green socks.)

TOM KERNAN You deserve it, your honour.

BLOOM On this day twenty years ago we overcame the hereditary enemy at Ladysmith. Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on his lines with telling effect. Half a league onward⁵³³! They charge! All is lost now! Do we yield? No! We drive them headlong! Lo! We charge! Deploying⁶⁶⁰ to the left our light horse swept across the heights of Plevna and, uttering their warcry, Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man.

THE CHAPEL⁶²² OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS Hear! Hear!

JOHN WYSE NOLAN There's the man that got away James Stephens.

A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY Bravo!

AN OLD RESIDENT You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you are.

AN APPLEWOMAN He's a man like Ireland wants.

BLOOM My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell you verily it is even now at hand. Yea, on the word of a Bloom, ye shall ere long enter into the golden city which is to be, the new Bloomusalem in the Nova Hibernia of the future.

(Thirtytwo workmen wearing rosettes, from all the counties of Ireland, under the guidance of Derwan the builder construct the new Bloomusalem. It is a colossal⁶⁶¹ edifice⁶⁶², with crystal roof built in the shape of a huge pork kidney, containing forty thousand rooms. In the course of its extension several buildings and monuments are demolished⁶⁶³. Government offices are temporarily transferred to railway sheds. Numerous houses are razed⁶⁶⁵ to the ground. The inhabitants are lodged⁶⁶⁶ in barrels and boxes, all marked in red with the letters: L. B. Several paupers⁶⁶⁷ fall from a ladder. A part of the walls of Dublin, crowded with loyal sightseers, collapses⁶⁶⁸.)

THE SIGHTSEERS (Dying) Morituri te salutant. (They die.)

(A man in a brown macintosh springs up through a trap-door. He points an elongated⁶⁶⁹ finger at Bloom.)

THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH Don't you believe a word he Says. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the notorious fireraiser. His real name is Higgins.

BLOOM Shoot him! Dog of a christian⁶⁷⁰! So much for M'Intosh!

(A cannonshot. The man in the macintosh disappears. Bloom with his sceptre strikes down poppies. The instantaneous deaths of many powerful enemies, graziers, members of parliament, members of standing committees, are reported. Bloom's bodyguard⁶⁷¹ distribute Maundy money, commemoration medals, loaves and fishes, temperance badges, expensive Henry Clay cigars, free cowbones for soup, rubber preservatives⁶⁷³, in sealed envelopes tied with gold thread, butter scotch⁶⁷⁴, pineapple rock, billets doux in the form of cocked hats, readymade suits, porringers of toad in the hole, bottles of Jeyes' Fluid, purchase stamps, 40 days' indulgences, spurious coins, dairyfed pork sausages, theatre passes, season tickets available for all tram lines, coupons⁶⁷⁵ of the royal and privileged Hungarian lottery⁶⁷⁷, penny dinner counters, cheap reprints of the World's Twelve Worst Books: Froggy and Fritz (politic), Care of the Baby (infantilic), So Meals for 7/6 (culinic), Was Jesus a Sun Myth? (historic), Expel that Pain (medic), Infant's Compendium⁶⁷⁸ of the Universe (cosmic), Let's All Chortle (hilaric), Canvasser⁶²⁵'s Vade Mecum (journalic), love-letters of Mother Assistant (erotic), Who's Who in Space (astric), Songs that Reached Our Heart (melodic), Pennywise's Way to Wealth (parsimonic). A general rush and scramble³³. Women press forward to touch the hem¹²⁶ of Bloom's robe. The lady Gwendolen Dubedat bursts through the throng⁶⁰⁹, leaps on his horse and kisses him on both cheeks amid great acclamation. A magnesium⁶⁷⁹ flashlight photograph is taken. Babes and sucklings are held up.)

THE WOMEN Little father! Little father!

THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS

Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home,
Cakes in his pocket for Leo alone.
(Bloom, bending down, pokes⁶⁸⁰ Baby Boardman gently in the stomach.)
BABY BOARDMAN (Hiccups⁶⁸¹, curdled⁶⁸² milk flowing from his mouth.) Hajajaja.

BLOOM (Shaking hands with a blind stripling.) My more than Brother! (Placing his arms round the shoulders of an old couple.) Dear old friends! (He plays pussy⁶⁸³ fourcorners with ragged⁶⁸⁴ boys and girls.) Peep! Bopeep! (He wheels twins in a perambulator.) Ticktacktwo wouldyousetashoe? (He performs juggler's tricks, draws red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo⁶⁸⁵ and violet silk handkerchiefs from his mouth.) Roygbiv. 32 feet per second. (He consoles a widow.) Absence makes the heart grow younger. (He dances the Highland⁷⁰ fling with grotesque⁶⁸⁶ antics.) Leg it, ye devils! (He kisses the bedsores of a palsied veteran.) Honourable wounds! (He trips up a fat policeman.) U.p.: up. U.p.: up. (He whispers in the ear of a blushing waitress and laughs kindly⁶⁸⁷.) Ah, naughty, naughty! (He eats a raw turnip⁶⁸⁸ offered him by Maurice Butterly, farmer.) Fine! Splendid! (He refuses to accept three shillings offered him by Joseph Hynes, journalist.) My dear fellow, not at all! (He gives his coat to a beggar.) Please accept. (He takes part in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples.) Come on, boys! Wriggle⁵⁴⁷ it, girls!

THE CITIZEN (Choked with emotion, brushes aside a tear in his emerald muffler.) May the good God bless him!

(The rams' horns sound for silence. The standard of Zion is hoisted.)

BLOOM (Uncloaks impressively, revealing obesity⁶⁸⁹, unrolls a paper and reads solemnly.) Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom Kippur Hanukah Ros chaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim Meshuggah Talith.

(An official translation is read by Jimmy Henry, assistant town clerk.)

JIMMY HENRY The Court of Conscience is now open. His Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice. Free medical and legal advice, solution of doubles and other problems. All cordially invited. Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year I of the Paradisiacal Era.

PADDY LEONARD What am I to do about my rates and taxes?

BLOOM Pay them, my friend.

PADDY LEONARD Thank you.

NOSEY FLYNN Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance?

BLOOM (Obdurately.) Sirs, take notice that by the law of torts you are bound over in your own recognisances for six months in the sum of five pounds.

J.J. O'MOLLY A Daniel did I say? Nay⁶⁹⁰! A Peter O'Brien!

NOSEY FLYNN Where do I draw the five pounds?

PISSER BURKE For bladder trouble?

BLOOM

Acid. nit. hydrochlor dil., 20 minims,
Tinct. mix. vom., 4 minims.
Extr. taraxel. lig., 30 minims.
Aq. dis. ter in die.
CHRIS CALLINAN What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran?
BLOOM Pleased to hear from you, Chris. K. II.

JOE HYNES Why aren't you in uniform?

BLOOM When my progenitor⁶⁹¹ of sainted memory wore the uniform of the Austrian despot in a dank prison where was yours?

BEN DOLLARD Pansies?

BLOOM Embellish⁶⁹² (beautify) suburban⁶⁹³ gardens.

BEN DOLLARD When twins arrive?

BLOOM Father (pater, dad) starts thinking.

LARRY O'ROURKE An eight day licence for my new premises. You remember me, sir Leo, when you were in number seven. I'm sending around a dozen of stout for the missus.

BLOOM (Coldly.) You have the advantage of me. Lady Bloom accepts no presents.

CROFTON This is indeed a festivity.

BLOOM (Solemnly.) You call it a festivity. I call it a sacrament.

ALEXANDER KEYES When will we have our own house of keys?

BLOOM I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten commandments. New worlds for old. Union of all, jew, moslem⁶⁹⁴ and gentile. Three acres and a cow for all children of nature. Saloon motor hearses. Compulsory⁶⁹⁵ manual labour for all. All parks open to the public day and night. Electric dishscrubbers. Tuberculosis⁶⁹⁶, lunacy, war and mendicancy⁶⁹⁷ must now cease. General amnesty, weekly carnival⁶⁹⁸, with masked licence, bonuses for all, esperanto the universal brotherhood⁶⁹⁹. No more patriotism⁷⁰¹ of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Free money, free love and a free lay church in a free lay state.

O'MADDEN BURKE Free fox in a free henroost.

DAVY BYRNE (Yawning.) Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach!

BLOOM Mixed races and mixed marriage.

LENEHAN What about mixed bathing?

(Bloom explains to those near him his schemes for social regeneration. All agree with him. The keeper of the Kildare Street Museum appears, dragging a lorry on which are the shaking statues of several naked goddesses, Venus Callipyge, Venus Pandemos Venus Metempsychosis, and plaster figures, also naked, representing the new nine muses⁷⁰², Commerce, Operatic Music, Amor Publicity⁷⁰³, Manufacture, liberty of Speech, Plural⁷⁰⁴ Voting, Gastronomy⁷⁰⁵, Private Hygiene⁷⁰⁶, Seaside Concert Entertainments, Painless Obstetrics and Astronomy for the People.)

FATHER FARLEY He is an episcopalian, an agnostic, an any thingarian seeking to overthrow⁷⁰⁷ our holy faith.

MRS RIORDAN (Tears up her will.) I'm disappointed in you! You bad man!

MOTHER GROGAN (Removes her boot to throw it at Bloom.) You beast! You abominable⁷⁰⁸ person!

NOSEY FLYNN Give us a tune⁷⁰⁹, Bloom. One of the old sweet songs.

BLOOM (With rollicking humour.)

I vowed⁷¹⁰ that I never would leave her,
She turned out a cruel deceiver.
With my tooraloom tooraloom tooralcom tooraloom.
HOPPY⁷¹¹ HOLOHAN Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all.
PADDY LEONARD Stage Irishman!

BLOOM What railway opera is like a tramline in Gibraltar? The Rows of Casteele. (Laughter.)

LENEHAN Plagiarist! Down with Bloom!

THE VEILED SIBYL (Enthusiastically.) I'm a Bloomite and I glory in it. I believe in him in spite of all. I'd give my life for him, the funniest man on earth.

BLOOM (Winks⁷¹² at the bystanders.) I bet she's a bonny lassie.

THEODORE PUREFOY (In fishing cap and oilskin jacket.) He employs a mechanical device to frustrate⁷¹³ the sacred ends of nature.

THE VEILED SIBYL (Stabs herself.) My hero god! (She dies.)

(Many most attractive and enthusiastic women also commit suicide by stabbing, drowning, drinking prussic acid, aconite, arsenic⁷¹⁴, opening their veins⁷¹⁵, refusing food, casting themselves under steamrollers, from the top of Nelson's Pillar, into the great vat⁴⁶ of Guinness's brewery⁷¹⁶, asphyxiating⁷¹⁷ themselves by placing their heads in gas ovens, hanging themselves in stylish⁷¹⁸ garters, leaping from windows of different storeys.)

ALEXANDER J. DOWIE (Violently.) Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the man called Bloom is from the roots of hell, a disgrace to christian men. A fiendish libertine⁷¹⁹ from his earliest years this stinking⁷²⁰ goat of Mendes gave precocious⁷²¹ signs of infantile debauchery recalling the cities of the plain, with a dissolute granddam. This vile⁶⁷⁶ hypocrite, bronzed with infamy⁷²³, is the white bull mentioned in the Apocalypse. A worshipper of the Scarlet Woman, intrigue⁷²⁴ is the very breath of his nostrils. The stake faggots and the caldron of boiling oil are for him. Caliban!

THE MOB Lynch him! Roast him! He's as bad as Parnell was. Mr Fox!

(Mother Grogan throws her boot at Bloom. Several shopkeepers from upper and lower Dorset street throw objects of little or no commercial value, hambones, condensed milk tins, unsaleable cabbage, stale bread, sheeps' tails, odd pieces of fat.)

BLOOM (Excitedly.) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again. By heaven, I am guiltless as the unsunned snow! It was my brother Henry. He is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn. Slander⁷²⁶, the viper⁷²⁷, has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen, sgenl inn ban bata coisde gan capall. I call on my old friend, Dr Malachi Mulligan, sex specialist to give medical testimony⁷²⁸ on my behalf.

DR MULLIGAN (In motor jerkin, green motoroggles on his brow.) Dr Bloom is bisexually abnormal. He has recently escaped from Dr Eustace's private asylum for demented gentlemen. Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is present, the consequence of unbridled lust. Traces of elephantiasis have been discovered among his ascendants. There are marked symptoms of chronic⁷²⁹ exhibitionism. Ambidexterity⁷³⁰ is also latent. He is prematurely⁷³¹ bald from selfabuse, perversely⁷³² idealistic in consequence, a reformed rake, and has metal teeth. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and, after application of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I declare him to be virgo intacta.

(Bloom holds his high grade hat over his genital organs.)

DR MADDEN Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the parts affected⁷³³ should be preserved in spirits of wine in the national teratological museum.

DR CROTTHERS I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid. Salivation is insufficient⁷³⁴, the patellar reflex intermittent⁷³⁵.

DR PUNCH COSTELLO The fetor judaicus is most perceptible.

DR DIXON (Reads a bill of health.) Professor Bloom is a finished example of the new womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Many have found him a dear man, a dear person. He is a rather quaint⁷³⁶ fellow on the whole, coy though not feeble-minded in the medical sense. He has written a really beautiful letter, a poem in itself, to the court missionary⁷³⁷ of the Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. He is practically a total abstainer⁷³⁸ and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw litter and eats the most Spartan⁷³⁹ food, cold dried grocer's peas. He wears a hairshirt winter and summer and scourges⁷⁴⁰ himself every Saturday. He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. Another report states that he was a very posthumous⁷⁴¹ child. I appeal for clemency⁷⁴² in the name of the most sacred word our vocal⁷⁴³ organs have ever been called upon to speak. He is about to have a baby.

(General commotion⁷⁴⁴ and compassion⁷⁴⁵. Women faint. A wealthy American makes a street collection for Bloom. Gold and silver coins, bank cheques, banknotes, jewels, treasury⁷⁴⁶ bonds, maturing bills of exchange, I.O.U.s, wedding rings' watch-chains, lockets, necklaces and bracelets⁷⁴⁷ are rapidly collected.)

BLOOM O, I so want to be a mother.

MRS THORNTON (In nursetender's gown.) Embrace me tight, dear. You'll be soon over it. Tight, dear.

(Bloom embraces her tightly and bears eight male yellow and white children. They appear on a redcarpeted staircase adorned⁷⁴⁸ with expensive plants. All are handsome, with valuable metallic⁷⁴⁹ faces, wellmade, respectably dressed and wellconducted, speaking five modern languages fluently and interested in various arts and sciences. Each has his name printed in legible letters on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindorée, Silversmile, Silberselber Vifargent, Panargros. They are immediately appointed to positions of high public trust in several different countries as managing directors of banks, traffic managers of railways, chairmen of limited liability companies, vice¹⁶⁷ chairmen of hotel syndicates.)

A VOICE Bloom, are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David?

BLOOM (Darkly.) You have said it.

BROTHER BUZZ Then perform a miracle.

BANTAM LYONS Prophesy⁷⁵⁰ who will win the Saint Leger.

(Bloom walks on a net, covers his left eye with his left ear, passes through several walls, climbs Nelson's Pillar, hangs from the the ledge⁷⁵¹ by his eyelids⁷⁵³, eats twelve dozen oysters (shells included), heals several sufferers from kings evil, contracts his face so as to resemble many historical personages, lord Beaconsfield, lord Byron, Wat Tyler, Moses of Egypt, Moses Maimonides, Moses Mendelssohn, Henry Irving, Rip van Winkle, Rossuth, Jean Jacques Rousseau, Baron⁷⁵⁴ Leopold Rothschild, Robinson Crusoe, Sherlock Holmes, Pasteur, turns each foot simultaneously⁷⁵⁵ in different directions, bids the tide turn back, eclipses the sun by extending his little finger.)

BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO (In papal zouave's uniform, steel cuirasses as breastplate, armplates, thighplates, legplates, large profane⁷⁵⁶ moustaches and brown paper mitre.) Leopoldi autem generatio. Moses begat Noah and Noah begat Eunuch and Eunuch begat O'Halloran and O'Halloran begat Guggenheim and Guggenheim begat Agendath and Agendath begat Netaim and Netaim begat Le Hirsch and Le Hirsch begat Jesurum and Jesurum begat MacKay and MacKay begat Ostrolopsky and Ostrolopsky begat Smerdoz and Smerdoz begat Weiss and Weiss begat Schwarz and Schwarz begat Adrianopoli and Adrianopoli began Aranjuez and Aranjuez begat Lewy Lawson and Lewy Lawson begat Ichabudonosor and Ichabudonosor begat O'Donnell Magnus and O'Donnell Magnus begat Christbaum and Christbaum begat Ben Maimun and Ben Maimun begat Dusty Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes begat Benamor and Benamor begat Jones-Smith and Jones-Smith begat Savorgnanovich and Savorgnanovich begat Jasperstone and Jasperstone begat Vingtetunieme and Vingtetunieme begat Szombathely and Szombathely begat Virag and Virag begat Bloom et vocabitur nomen eius Emmanuel.

A DEADHAND (Writes on the wall.) Bloom is a cod⁴²². A CRAB⁷⁵⁷ (In bush ranger's kit¹².) What did you do in the cattlecreep behind Kilbarrack?

A FEMALE INFANT (Shakes a rattle.) And under Ballybough bridge?

A HOLLYBUSH And in the devil's glen?

BLOOM (Blushes furiously all over from front to nates, three tears falling from his left eye.) Spare my past.

THE IRISH EVICTED⁷⁵⁸ TENANTS⁷⁵⁹ (In bodycoats, kneebreeches, with Donnybrook fair shillelaghs.) Sjambok him!

(Bloom with asses¹⁰²' ears seats himself in the pillory⁷⁶⁰ with crossed arms, his feet protruding⁷⁶¹. He whistles Don Giovanni, a cenar teco. Artane orphans⁷⁶², joining hands, caper⁷⁶³ round him. Girls of the Prison Gate Mission, joining hands, caper round in the opposite direction.)

THE ARTANE ORPHANS

You big, you bog³⁸², you dirty dog!
You think the ladies love you!
THE PRISON GATE GIRLS
If you see kay
Tell him he may
See you in tea
Tell him from me.
HORNBLOWER (In ephod and huntingcap, announces.) And he shall carry the sins of the people to Azazel, the spirit which is in the wilderness⁷⁶⁴, and to Lilith, the nighthag. And they shall stone him and defile him, yea, all from Agendath Netaim and from Mizraim, the land of Ham.
(All the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom. Many bonafide travellers and ownerless dogs come near him and defile him. Mastiansky and Citron approach in gaberdines, wearing long earlocks. They wag their beards at Bloom.)

MASTIANSKY AND CITRON Belial! Laemlein of Istria! the false Messiah! Abulafia!

(George S. Mesias, Bloom's tailor, appears, a tailor's goose under his arm, presenting a bill.)

MESIAS To alteration⁷⁶⁵ one pair trousers eleven shillings.

BLOOM (Rubs his hands cheerfully.) Just like old times. Poor Bloom!

(Reuben J. Dodd, black bearded Iscariot, bad shepherd, bearing on his shoulders the drowned corpse⁷⁶⁶ of his son, approaches the pillory.)

REUBEN J. (Whispers hoarsely.) The squeak is out. A split is gone for the flatties. Nip the first rattler.

THE FIRE BRIGADE Pflaap!

BROTHER BUZZ (Invests Bloom in a yellow habit with embroidery⁷⁶⁷ of painted flames and high pointed⁵⁴⁹ hat. He places a bag of gunpowder⁷⁶⁸ round his neck and hands him over to the civil power, saying.) Forgive him his trespasses⁷⁶⁹.

(Lieutenant⁷⁷⁰ Myers of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request sets fire to Bloom. Lamentations.)

THE CITIZEN Thank heaven!

BLOOM (In a seamless garment marked I. H. S. stands upright amid phoenix⁷⁷¹ flames.) Weep not for me, O daughters of Erin.

(He exhibits to Dublin reporters traces of burning. The daughters of Erin, in black garments with lace prayerbooks and long lighted candles in their hands, kneel down and pray.)

THE DAUGHTERS OF ERIN Kidney of Bloom, pray for us. Flower of the Bath, pray for us. Mentor⁷⁷² of Menton, pray for us. Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us. Charitable Mason, pray for us. Wandering Soap, pray for us. Sweets of Sin, pray for us. Music without Words, pray for us. Reprover of the Citizen, pray for us. Friend of all Frillies, pray for us. Midwife Most Merciful, pray for us. Potato Preservative⁶⁷² against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us.

(A choir⁷⁷³ of six hundred voices, conducted by Mr Vincent O'Brien, sings the Alleluia chorus, accompanied on the organ by Joseph Glynn. Bloom becomes mute, shrunken, carbonised.)

ZOE Talk away till you're black in the face.

BLOOM (In caubeen with clay pipe stuck in the band, dusty brogues, an emigrant's red handkerchief bundle in his hand, leading a black bogoak pig by a sugaun, with a smile in his eye.) Let me be going now, woman of the house, for by all the goats in Connemara I'm after having the father and mother of a bating. (With a tear in his eye.) All insanity⁷⁷⁴. Patriotism, sorrow for the dead, music, future of the race. To be or not to be. Life's dream is o'er. End it peacefully. They can live on. (He gazes far away mournfully.) I am ruined. A few pastilles of aconite. The blinds drawn. A letter. Then lie back to rest. (He breathes softly.) No more. I have lived. Fare. Farewell.

ZOE (Stiffly, her finger in her neckfillet.) Honest? Till the next time. (She sneers⁷⁷⁵.) Suppose you got up the wrong side of the bed or came too quick with your best girl. O, I can read your thoughts.

BLOOM (Bitterly.) Man and woman, love, what is it? A cork and bottle.

ZOE (In sudden sulks.) I hate a rotter that's insincere. Give a bleeding whore a chance.

BLOOM (Repentantly.) I am very disagreeable. You are a necessary evil. Where are you from? London?

ZOE (Glibly.) Hog¹³'s Norton where the pigs play the organs. I'm Yorkshire born. (She holds his hand which is feeling for her nipple.) I say, Tommy Tittlemouse. Stop that and begin worse. Have you cash for a short time? Ten shillings?

BLOOM (Smiles, nods slowly.) More, houri, more.

ZOE And more's mother? (She pats him offhandedly⁷⁷⁷ with velvet paws.) Are you coming into the musicroom to see our new pianola? Come and I'll peel off.

BLOOM (Feeling his occiput dubiously⁷⁷⁸ with the unparalleled embarrassment⁷⁷⁹ of a harassed⁷⁸⁰ pedlar gauging⁷⁸¹ the symmetry of her peeled pears.) Somebody would be dreadfully jealous if she knew. The greeneyed monster. (Earnestly.) You know how difficult it is. I needn't tell you.

ZOE (Flattered.) What the eye can't see the heart can't grieve for. (She pats him.) Come.

BLOOM Laughing witch! The hand that rocks the cradle.

ZOE Babby!

BLOOM (In babylinen and pelisse, bigheaded, with a caul of dark hair, fixes big eyes on her fluid slip and counts its bronze buckles with a chubby⁷⁸⁴ finger, his moist tongue tolling⁷⁸⁵ and lisping.) One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone.

THE BUCKLES Love me. Love me not. Love me.

ZOE Silent means consent. (With little parted talons she captures his hand, her forefinger giving to his palm the pass touch of secret monitor, luring⁷⁸⁶ him to doom⁷⁸⁷.) Hot hands cold gizzard.

(He hesitates amid scents⁷⁸⁸, music, temptations. She leads him towards the steps, drawing him by the odour of her armpits, the vice of her painted eyes, the rustle of her slip in whose sinuous⁷⁸⁹ folds lurks⁷⁹⁰ the lion reek⁷⁹¹ of all the male brutes⁷⁹² that have possessed⁷⁹³ her.)

THE MALE BRUTES (Exhaling sulphur of rut and dung and ramping⁷⁹⁴ in their loosebox, faintly roaring, their drugged heads swaying to and fro.) Good!

(Zoe and Bloom reach the doorway where two sister whores are seated. They examine him curiously from under their pencilled brows and smile to his hasty bow. He trips awkwardly.)

ZOE (Her lucky hand instantly saving him.) Hoopsa! Don't fall upstairs.

BLOOM The just man falls seven times. (He stands aside at the threshold.) After you is good manners.

ZOE Ladies first, gentlemen after.

(She crosses the threshold. He hesitates. She turns and, holding out her hands, draws him over. He hops¹⁰⁶. On the an tiered rack of the hall hang a man's hat and waterproof⁷⁹⁵ Bloom uncovers himself but, seeing them, frowns, then smiles, preoccupied⁷⁹⁶. A door on the return landing is thrown open. A man in purple shirt and grey trousers, brownsocked, passes with an apes gait, his bald head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full waterjugjar his twotailed black braces⁶⁵⁷ dangling⁷⁹⁷ at heels. Averting⁷⁹⁸ his face quickly Bloom bends to examine on the halltable the spaniel eyes of a running fox: then, his lifted head sniffing, follows Zoe into the musicroom. A shade of mauve tissuepaper dims the light of the chandelier. Round and round a moth¹⁵⁷ flies, colliding, escaping. The floor is covered with an oilcloth mosaic of jade⁷⁹⁹ and azure⁸⁰⁰ and cinnabar rhomboids. Footmarks are stamped over it in all senses, heel to heel, heel to hollow, toe to toe, feet locked, a morris of shuffling⁸⁰¹ feet without body phantoms⁸⁰², all in a scrimmage higgledypiggledy. The walls are tapes-tried with a paper of yewfronds and clear glades⁸⁰⁴. In the grate is spread a screen of peacock feathers. Lynch squats⁸⁰⁵ crosslegged on the hearth⁸⁰⁶ rug of matted hair, his cap back to the front. With a wand he beats time slowly. Kitty Ricketts, a bony pallid⁸⁰⁷ whore in navy costume, doeskin gloves rolled back from a coral wristlet, a chain purse in her hand, sits perched on the edge of the table swinging her leg and glancing at herself in the gilt⁸⁰⁸ mirror over the mantelpiece. A tag of her corset lace hangs slightly below her jacket. Lynch indicates mockingly the couple at the piano.)

KITTY (Coughs behind her hand.) She's a bit imbecilic. (She signs with a waggling forefinger.) Blemblem. (Lynch lifts up her skirt and white petticoat with the wand. She settles them down quickly.) Respect yourself. (She hiccups, then bends quickly her sailor hat under which her hair glows, red with henna.) O, excuse!

ZOE More limelight, Charley. (She goes to the chandelier and turns the gas full cock.)

KITTY (Peers at the gasjet.) What ails⁴² it tonight?

LYNCH (Deeply.) Enter a ghost and hobgoblins.

ZOE Clap on the back for Zoe.

(The wand in Lynch's hand flashes: a brass poker⁸⁰⁹. Stephen stands at the pianola on which sprawl¹⁹ his hat and ashplant. With two fingers he repeats once more the series of empty fifths. Florry Talbot, a blond feeble goosefat whore in a tatterdemalion gown of mildewed⁸¹⁰ strawberry, lolls spreadeagle in the sofa corner, her limp forearm pendent over the bolster⁸¹¹, listening. A heavy stye droops over her sleepy eyelid⁷⁵².)

KITTY (Hiccups again with a kick of her horsed foot.) O, excuse!

ZOE (Promptly.) Your boy's thinking of you. Tie a knot on your shift.

(Kitty Ricketts bends her head. Her boa uncoils, slides, glides⁸¹² over her shoulder, back, arm, chair to the ground. Lynch lifts the curled caterpillar⁸¹³ on his wand. She snakes her neck, nestling. Stephen glances behind at the squatted⁸¹⁴ figure with its cap back to the front.)

STEPHEN As a matter of fact it is of no importance whether Benedetto Marcello found it or made it. The rite⁷⁶ is the poet's rest. It may be an old hymn⁸¹⁵ to Demeter or also illustrate Cla enarrant gloriam Domini. It is susceptible⁸¹⁶ of nodes or modes as far apart as hyperphrygian and mixolydian and of texts so divergent as priests haihooping round David's that is Circe's or what am I saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the stable to his chief bassoonist about his almightiness. Mais, nom de nom, that is another pair of trousers. Jetez la gourme. Faut que jeunesse se passe. (He stops, points at Lynch's cap, smiles, laughs.) Which side is your knowledge bump?

THE CAP (With saturnine⁸¹⁷ spleen.) Bah! It is because it is. Woman's reason. Jewgreek is greekjew. Extremes meet. Death is the highest form of life. Bah!

STEPHEN You remember fairly accurately⁸¹⁸ all my errors, boasts, mistakes. How long shall I continue to close my eyes to disloyalty? Whetstone!

THE CAP Bah!

STEPHEN Here's another for you. (He frowns.) The reason is because the fundamental and the dominant⁸¹⁹ are separated by the greatest possible interval⁸²⁰ which .

THE CAP Which? Finish. You can't.

STEPHEN (With on effort.) Interval which. Is the greatest possible ellipse. Consistent with. The ultimate return. The octave. Which.

THE CAP Which? (Outside the gramophone begins to blare The Holy City.)

STEPHEN (Abruptly⁸²¹.) What went forth to the ends of the world to traverse not itself. God, the sun, Shakespeare, a commercial traveller, having itself traversed in reality itself, becomes that self. Wait a moment. Wait a second. Damn that fellow's noise in the street. Self which it itself was ineluctably preconditioned to become. Ecco!

LYNCH (With a mocking whinny of laughter grins at Bloom and Zoe Higgins.) What a learned speech, eh?

ZOE (Briskly.) God help your head, he knows more than you have forgotten.

(With obese stupidity Florry Talbot regards Stephen.)

FLORRY They say the last day is coming this summer.

KITTY No!

ZOE (Explodes in laughter.) Great unjust God!

FLORRY (Offended.) Well, it was in the papers about Anti christ. O, my foot's tickling⁸²².

(Ragged barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patterpast, yelling.)

THE NEWSBOYS Stop press edition. Result of the rockinghorse races. Sea serpent in the royal canal. Safe arrival of Antichrist.

(Stephen turns and sees Bloom.)

STEPHEN A time, times and half a time.

(Reuben J. Antichrist, wanderingjew, a clutching hand open on his spine, stumps⁸²³ forward. Across his loins is slung a pilgrims wallet from which protrude promissory notes and dishonoured⁸²⁵ bills. Aloft over his shoulder he bears a long boatpole from the hook of which the sodden huddled⁸²⁶ mass of his only son, saved from Liffey waters, hangs from the slack of its breeches. A hobgoblin in the image of Punch Costello, hipshot, crookbacked, hydrocephalic, prognathic with receding⁸²⁷ forehead and Ally Sloper nose, tumbles in somersaults through the gathering⁸²⁸ darkness.)

ALL What?

THE HOBGOBLIN (His jaws⁸²⁹ chattering⁸³⁰, capers⁸³¹ to and fro, goggling⁸³² his eyes, squeaking⁸³³, kangaroohopping, with outstretched clutching arms, then all at once thrusts his lipless face through the fork of his thighs⁸³⁴.) Il vient! C'est moi! L'homme qui rit! L'homme primigene! (He whirls round and round with dervish howls.) Sieurs et dames, faites vos jeux! (He crouches juggling⁸³⁵. Tiny roulette planets fly from his hands.) Les jeux son! faits! (The planets rush together, uttering crepitant cracks.) Rien n'va plus. (The planets, buoyant balloons, sail swollen⁸³⁶ up and away. He springs off into vacuum.)

FLORRY (Sinking into torpor⁸³⁷, crosses herself secretly.) The end of the world!

(A female tepid⁸³⁸ effluvium leaks out from her. Nebulous obscurity occupies space. Through the drifting fog without the gramophone blares over coughs and feetshuffling.)

THE GRAMOPHONE Jerusalem! Open your gates and sing Hosanna...

(A rocket rushes up the sky and bursts. A white star falls from it, proclaiming the consummation of all things and second coming of Elijah. Along an infinite invisible tight-rope taut⁸³⁹ from zenith to nadir⁸⁴⁰ the End of the World, a two headed octopus⁸⁴¹ in gillies kilts, busby and tartan filibegs, whirls through the murk, head over heels, in the fob of the Three Lugs⁸⁴² of Man.)

THE END OF THE WORLD (With a Scotch accent.) Wha'll dance the keel row, the keel row, the keel row?

(Over the passing drift and choking breathcoughs, Elijah's voice, harsh as a corncrakes, jars on high. Perspiring⁸⁴³ in a loose lawn surplice with funnel⁸⁴⁴ sleeves he is seen, vergefaced above a rostrum about which the banner of old glory is draped. He thumps⁸⁴⁵ the parapet.)

ELIJAH No yapping, if you please, in this booth. Jake Crane, Creole Sue, Dave Campbell, Abe Kirschner, do your coughing with your mouths shut. Say, I am operating all this trunk line. Boys, do it now. God's time is 12.25. Tell mother you'll be there. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. Join on right here! Book through to eternity⁸⁴⁶ junction⁸⁴⁷, the nonstop run. Just one word more. Are you a god or a doggone clod? If the second advent⁸⁴⁸ came to Coney Island are we ready? Florry Christ, Stephen Christ, Zoe Christ, Bloom Christ, Kitty Christ, Lynch Christ, it's up to you to sense that cosmic force. Have we cold feet about the cosmos⁸⁴⁹? No. Be on the side of the angels. Be a prism. You have that something within, the higher self. You can rub shoulders with a Jesus, a Gautama, an Ingersoll. Are you all in this vibration⁸⁵⁰? I say you are. You once nobble that, congregation, and a buck joyride to heaven becomes a back number. You got me? It's a lifebrightener, sure. The hottest stuff ever was. It's the whole pie with jam in. It's just the cutest snappiest line out. It is immense, supersumptuous. It restores. It vibrates. I know and I am some vibrator. Joking apart and getting down to bedrock, A. J. Christ Dowie and the harmonial philosophy, have you got that? O.K. Seventyseven west sixtyninth street. Got me? That's it. You call me up by sunphone any old time. Bumboosers, save your stamps. (He shouts.) Now then our glory song. All join heartily⁸⁵¹ in the singing. Encore! (He sings.) Jeru...

THE GRAMOPHONE (Drowning his voice.) Whorusalaminyour highhohhhh.

(The disc rasps gratingly against the needle.)

THE THREE' WHORES (Covering their ears, squawk.) Ahhkkk!

ELIJAH (In rolledup shirtsleeves, black in the face, shouts at the top of his voice, his arms uplifted.) Big Brother up there, Mr President, you hear what I done just been saying to you. Certainly, I sort of believe strong in you, Mr President. I certainly am thinking now Miss Higgins and Miss Ricketts got religion way inside them. Certainly seems to me I don't never see no wusser scared female than the way you been, Miss Florry, just now as I done seed you. Mr President, you come long and help me save our sisters dear. (He winks at his audience.) Our Mr President, he twig⁸⁵² the whole lot and he ain't saying nothing.

KITTY-KATE I forgot myself. In a weak moment I erred⁶⁶⁴ and did what I did on Constitution hill. I was confirmed by the bishop. My mother's sister married a Montmorency. It was a working plumber⁸⁵³ was my ruination when I was pure.

ZOE-FANNY I let him larrup it into me for the fun of it.

FLORRY-TERESA It was in consequence of a portwine beverage⁸⁵⁴ on top of Hennessy's three stars I was guilty with Whelan when he slipped into the bed.

STEPHEN In the beginning was the word, in the end the world without end. Blessed be the eight beatitudes.

(The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch in white surgical⁸⁵⁵ students' gowns, four abreast⁸⁵⁷, goosestepping, tramp fast past in noisy marching.)

THE BEATITUDES (Incoherently.) Beer beef battledog buybull businum barnum buggerum bishop.

LYSTER (In quakergrey kneebreeches and broadbrimmed hat, says discreetly⁸⁵⁸.) He is our friend. I need not mention names. Seek thou the light.

(He corantos by. Best enters in hairdresser attire⁸⁵⁹, shinily laundered⁸⁶⁰, his locks in curlpapers. He leads John Eglinton who wears a mandarin's kimono of Nankeen yellow, lizard-lettered, and a high pagoda⁸⁶¹ hat.)

BEST (Smiling, lifts the hat and displays a shaven poll from the crown of which bristles a pigtail toupee⁸⁶² tied with an orange topknot.) I was just beautifying him, don't you know. A thing of beauty, don't you know. Yeats says, or I mean, Keats says. (Produces a greencapped dark lantern and flashes it towards a corner; with carping accent.) Esthetics and cosmetics⁸⁶³ are for the boudoir. I am out for truth. Plain truth for a plain man. Tanderagee wants the facts and means to get them.

(In the cone⁴⁵¹ of the search light behind the coalscuttle, ollave, holyeyed, the bearded figure of Mananaan MacLir broods, chin on knees. He rises slowly. A cold seawind blows from his druid mantle. About his head writhe⁸⁶⁴ eels¹²³ and elvers. He is encrusted with weeds and shells. His right hand holds a bicycle pump. His left hand grasps a huge crayfish by its two talons.)

MANANAAN MACLIR (With a voice of waves.) Aum! Hek! Wal! Ak! Lub! Mor! Ma! White yoghin of the Gods. Occult pimander of Hermes Trismegistos. (With a voice of whistling seawind.) Punarjanam patsypunjaub! I won't have my leg pulled. It has been said by one: beware the left, the cult⁷⁸² of Shakti. (With a cry of stormbirds.) Shakti, Shiva! Dark hidden Father! (He smites⁸⁶⁵ with his bicycle pump the crayfish in his left hand. On its co-operative dial glow the twelve signs of the zodiac. He wails with the vehemence⁸⁶⁶ of the ocean.) Aum! Baum! Pyjaum! I am the light of the homestead, I am the dreamery creamery butter.

(A skeleton judas hand strangles the light. The green light wanes⁸⁶⁷ to mauve. The gasjet wails whistling.)

THE GASJET Pooah! Pfuiiiiii!

(Zoe runs to the chandelier and, crooking⁸⁶⁸ her leg, adjusts the mantle.)

ZOE Who has a fag as I'm here?

LYNCH (Tossing a cigarette on to the table.) Here.

ZOE (Her head perched aside in mock pride.) Is that the way to hand the pot to a lady? (She stretches up to light the cigarette over the flame, twirling it slowly, showing the brown tufts of her armpits. Lynch with his poker lifts boldly a side of her slip. Bare from her garters up her flesh appears under the sapphire a nixie's green. She puffs⁸⁶⁹ calmly at her cigarette.) Can you see the beauty spot of my behind?

LYNCH I'm not looking.

ZOE (Makes sheep's eyes.) No? You wouldn't do a less thing. Would you suck a lemon?

(Squinting in mock shame she glances with sidelong meaning at Bloom, then twists round towards him, pulling her slip free of the poker. Blue fluid again flows over her flesh. Bloom stands, smiling desirously, twirling his thumbs. Kitty Ricketts licks her middle finger with her spittle and gazing in the mirror, smooths both eyebrows⁸⁷⁰. Lipoti Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through the chimneyflue and struts⁸⁷¹ two steps to the left on gawky pink stilts⁸⁷². He is sausaged into several overcoats and wears a brown macintosh under which he holds a roll of parchment. In his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell. On his head is perched an Egyptian pshent. Two quills⁸⁷³ project over his ears.)

VIRAG (Heels together bows.) My name is Virag Lipoti, of Szombathely. (He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) Promiscuous⁸⁷⁴ nakedness is much in evidence hereabouts, eh? Inadvertently her backview revealed the fact that she is not wearing those rather intimate garments of which you are a particular devotee. The injection mark on the thigh I hope you perceived? Good.

BLOOM Granpapachi. But...

VIRAG Number two on the other hand, she of the cherry rouge⁸⁷⁵ and coiffeuse white, whose hair owes not a little to our tribal⁸⁷⁶ elixir⁸⁷⁷ of gopherwood, is in walking costume and tightly staysed by her sit, I should opine. Backbone⁸⁷⁸ in front, so to say. Correct me but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish⁸⁷⁹ humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. In a word. Hippogriff. Am I right?

BLOOM She is rather lean.

VIRAG (Not unpleasantly.) Absolutely! Well observed and those pannier pockets of the skirt and slightly pegtop effect are devised to suggest bunchiness of hip³¹¹. A new purchase at some monster sale for which a gull³⁰² has been mulcted. Meretricious⁸⁸⁰ finery to deceive the eye. Observe the attention to details of dustspecks. Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. Parallax! (With a nervous twitch⁸⁸¹ of his head.) Did you hear my brain go snap? Pollysyllabax!

BLOOM (An elbow resting in a hand, a forefinger against his cheek.) She seems sad.

VIRAG (Cynically, his weasel teeth bared yellow, draws down his left eye with a finger and barks hoarsely.) Hoax⁸⁸³! Beware of the flapper and bogus mournful. Lily of the alley⁸⁸⁴. All possess bachelor's button discovered by Rualdus Colombus. Tumble her. Columble her. Chameleon⁸⁸⁵. (More genially⁸⁸⁶.) Well then, permit me to draw your attention to item number three. There is plenty of her visible to the naked eye. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. What ho, she bumps! The ugly duckling of the party, longcasted and deep in keel.

BLOOM (Regretfully.) When you come out without your gun.

VIRAG We can do you all brands, mild, medium and strong. Pay your money, take your choice. How happy could you be with either...

BLOOM With?...

VIRAG (His tongue upcurling.) Lyum! Look. Her beam is broad. She is coated with quite a considerable layer of fat. Obviously mammal in weight of bosom you remark that she has in front well to the fore¹ two protuberances of very respectable dimensions, inclined to fall in the noonday soupplate, while on her rere lower down are two additional protuberances, suggestive of potent rectum and tumescent for palpation which leave nothing to be desired save compactness. Such fleshy parts are the product of careful nurture³⁸⁵. When coopfattened their livers reach an elephantine size. Pellets of new bread with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence with natural pincushions of quite colossal blubber. That suits your book, eh? Fleshhotpots of Egypt to hanker after. Wallow in it. Lycopodium. (His throat twitches⁸⁸⁷.) Slapbang! There he goes again.

BLOOM The stye I dislike.

VIRAG (Arches his eyebrows.) Contact with a goldring, they say. Argumentum ad feminam, as we said in old Rome and ancient Greece in the consulship⁸⁸⁸ of Diplodocus and Ichthyo saurus. For the rest Eve's sovereign remedy. Not for sale. Hire only. Huguenot. (He twitches.) It is a funny sound.

(He coughs encouragingly.) But possibly it is only a wart⁸⁸⁹. I presume you shall have remembered what I will have taught you on that head? Wheatenmeal with honey and nutmeg.

BLOOM (Reflecting.) Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax. This searching ordeal⁸⁹⁰. It has been an unusually fatiguing⁸⁹¹ day, a chapter of accidents. Wait. I mean, wartsblood spreads warts⁸⁹², you said .

VIRAG (Severely, his nose hardhumped, his side eye winking.) Stop twirling your thumbs and have a good old thunk. See, you have forgotten. Exercise your mnemotechnic. La causa è santa. Tara. Tara. (Aside.) He will surely remember.

BLOOM Rosemary also did I understand you to say or will power over parasitic⁸⁹³ tissues. Then nay no I have an inkling. The touch of a deadhand cures. Mnemo?

VIRAG (Excitedly.) I say so. I say so. E'en so. Technic. (He taps his parchmentroll energetically.) This book tells you how to act with all descriptive particulars. Consult index for agitated⁸⁹⁴ fear of aconite, melancholy⁸⁹⁵ of muriatic, priapic pulsatilla. Virag is going to talk about amputation⁸⁹⁶. Our old friend caustic⁸⁹⁷. They must be starved. Snip⁸⁹⁸ off with horsehair under the denned⁸⁹⁹ neck. But, to change the venue⁹⁰⁰ to the Bulgar and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments? (With a dry snigger.) You intended to devote an entire year to the study of the religious problem and the summer months of 1882 to square the circle and win that million. Pomegranate! From the sublime⁹⁰¹ to the ridiculous is but a step. Pyjamas⁹⁰², let us say? Or stockingette gusseted knickers, closed? Or, put we the case, those complicated combinations, camiknickers? (He crows derisively.) Keekeereekee!

(Bloom surveys uncertainly the three whores, then gazes at the veiled mauve light, hearing the everflying moth.)

BLOOM I wanted then to have now concluded. Nightdress was never. Hence this. But tomorrow is a new day will be. Past was is today. What now is will then tomorrow as now was be past yester.

VIRAG (Prompts into his ear in a pig's whisper.) Insects of the day spend their brief existence in reiterated⁹⁰³ coition, lured⁹⁰⁴ by the smell of the inferiorly pulchritudinous⁹⁰⁵ female possessing extendified pudendal verve in dorsal⁹⁰⁶ region. Pretty Poll! (His yellow parrotbeak gabbles nasally.) They had a proverb in the Carpathians in or about the year five thousand five hundred and fifty of our era. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Bear's buzz bothers bees. But of this apart. At another time we may resume. We were very pleased, we others. (He coughs and, bending his brow, rubs his nose thoughtfully with a scooping⁹⁰⁷ hand.) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. An illusion for remember their complex unadjustable eye. For all these knotty⁹⁰⁸ points see the seventeenth book of my Fundamentals of Sexology or the Love Passion which Doctor L. B. says is the book sensation of the year. Some, to example, there are again whose movements are automatic. Perceive. That is his appropriate sun. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. Chase me, Charley! Buzz!

BLOOM Bee or bluebottle too other day butting⁴²⁷ shadow on wall dazed self then me wandered dazed down shirt good job I...

VIRAG (His face impassive, laughs in a rich feminine key.) Splendid! Spanish fly in his fly or mustard plaster on his dibble. (He gobbles gluttonously⁹⁰⁹ with turkey wattles.) Bubbly jock! Bubbly jock! Where are we? Open Sesame! Cometh forth! (He unrolls his parchment rapidly and reads, his glowworm's nose running backwards⁹¹⁰ over the letters which he claws.) Stay, good friend. I bring thee thy answer Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. I'm the best o'cook. Those succulent bivalves may help us and the truffles of Perigord, tubers dislodged through mister omnivorous⁹¹¹ porker, were unsurpassed in cases of nervous debility or viragitis. Though they stink²⁹³ yet they sting. (He wags head with cackling raillery.) Jocular. With my eyeglass in my ocular.

BLOOM (Absently.) Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Always open sesame. The cloven sex. Why they fear vermin, creeping things. Yet Eve and the serpent contradict. Not a historical fact. Obvious analogy to my idea. Serpents too are gluttons⁹¹² for woman's milk. Wind their way through miles of omnivorous forest to sucksucculent her breast dry. Like those bubblyjocular Roman matrons one reads of in Elephantuliasis.

VIRAG (His mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily⁹¹³ forlornly closed, psalms⁹¹⁴ in outlandish monotone.) That the cows with their those distended⁹¹⁵ udders that they have been the known...

BLOOM I am going to scream. I beg your pardon. Ah? So. (He repeats.) Spontaneously to seek out the saurian's lair in order to entrust⁹¹⁶ their teats to his avid⁶⁴⁴ suction. Ant milks aphis. (Profoundly.) Instinct rules the world. In life. In death.

VIRAG (Head askew, arches his back and hunched⁹¹⁷ wing- shoulders, peers at the moth out of blear bulged⁹¹⁸ eyes, points a homing claw and cries.) Who's Ger Ger? Who's dear Gerald? O, I much fear he shall be most badly burned. Will some pleashe pershon not now impediment so catastrophics mit agitation of firstclass tablenumpkin? (He mews.) Luss puss puss puss! (He sighs, draws back and stares sideways down with dropping underjaw.) Well, well. He doth rest anon.

I'm a tiny tiny thing
Ever flying in the spring
Round and round a ringaring.
Long ago I was a king,
Now I do this kind of thing
On the wing, on the wing!
Bing!
(He rushes against the mauve shade flapping noisily.) Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats.
(From left upper entrance with two sliding steps Henry Flower comes forward to left front centre. He wears a dark mantle and drooping⁹¹⁹ plumed⁹²¹ sombrero. He carries a silverstringed inlaid dulcimer and a longstemmed bamboo Jacobs pipe, its clay bowl fashioned as a female head. He wears dark velvet hose and silverbuckled pumps. He has the romantic Saviour's face with flowing locks, thin beard and moustache. His spindlelegs and sparrow feet are those of the tenor⁹²² Mario, prince of Candia. He settles down his goffered ruffs and moistens his lips with a passage of his amorous⁹²³ tongue.)

HENRY (In a low dulcet⁹²⁴ voice, touching⁹²⁵ the strings⁹²⁶ of his guitar.) There is a flower that bloometh.

(Virag truculent, his jowl set, stares at the lamp. Grave Bloom regards Zoe's neck. Henry gallant turns with pendent dewlap to the piano.)

STEPHEN (To himself.) Play with your eyes shut. Imitate pa. Filling my belly with husks of swine. Too much of this. I will arise and go to my. Expect this is the. Steve, thou art in a parlous⁹²⁷ way. Must visit old Deasy or telegraph. Our interview of this morning has left on me a deep impression. Though our ages. Will write fully¹¹³ tomorrow. I'm partially drunk, by the way. (He touches the keys again.) Minor chord comes now. Yes. Not much however.

(Almidano Artifoni holds out a batonroll of music with vigorous moustachework.)

ARTIFONI Ci rifletta. Lei rovina tutto.

FLORRY Sing us something. Love's old sweet song.

STEPHEN No voice. I am a most finished artist. Lynch, did I show you the letter about the lute¹⁵?

FLORRY (Smirking.) The bird that can sing and won't sing.

(The Siamese twins, Philip Drunk and Philip Sober two Oxford dons with lawnmowers, appear in the window embrasure. Both are masked with Matthew Arnold's face.)

PHILIP SOBER Take a fool's advice. All is not well. Work it out with the buttend of a pencil, like a good young idiot. Three pounds twelve you got, two notes, one sovereign, two crowns, if youth but knew. Mooney's en ville, Mooney's sur mer, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's. Eh? I am watching you.

PHILIP DRUNK (Impatiently.) Ah, bosh, man. Go to hell! I paid my way. If I could only find out about octaves. Reduplication of personality. Who was it told me his name?

(His lawnmower begins to purr.) Aha, yes. Zoe mou sas agapo. Have a notion I was here before. When was it not Atkinson his card I have somewhere? Mac somebody. Unmack I have it. He told me about, hold on, Swinburne, was it, no?

FLORRY And the song?

STEPHEN Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

FLORRY Are you out of Maynooth? You're like someone I knew once.

STEPHEN Out of it now. (To himself.) Clever.

PHILIP DRUNK AND PHILIP SOBER (Their lawnmowers purring with a rigadoon of grasshalms.) Clever ever. Out of it. Out of it. By the by have you the book, the thing, the ashplant? Yes, there it, yes. Cleverever outofitnow. Keep in condition. Do like us.

ZOE There was a priest down here two nights ago to do his bit of business with his coat buttoned up. You needn't try to hide, I says to him. I know you've a Roman collar.

VIRAG Perfectly logical from his standpoint. Fall of man. (Harshly, his pupils waxing.) To hell with the pope! Nothing new under the sun. I am the Virag who disclosed the sex secrets of monks⁹²⁸ and maidens⁹²⁹. Why I left the Church of Rome. Read the Priest, the Woman and the Confessional. Penrose. Flipperty Jippert. (He wriggles.) Woman, undoing⁹³⁰ with sweet pudor her belt of rushrope, offers her allmoist yoni to man's lingam. Short time after man presents woman with pieces of jungle meat. Woman shows joy and covers herself with featherskins. Man loves her yoni fiercely with big lingam, the stiff one. (He cries.) Coactus volui. Then giddy woman will run about. Strong man grasps woman's wrist. Woman squeals⁹³², bites, spucks. Man, now fierce angry, strikes woman's fat yadgana. (He chases his tail.) Piffpaff! Popo! (He stops, sneezes.) Pchp! (He worries his butt¹⁶⁰.) Prrrrrht!

LYNCH I hope you gave the good father a penance⁹³³. Nine glorias for shooting a bishop.

ZOE (Spouts walrus⁹³⁴ smoke through her nostrils.) He couldn't get a connection. Only, you know, sensation. A dry rush.

BLOOM Poor man!

ZOE (Lightly.) Only for what happened him.

BLOOM How?

VIRAG (A diabolic rictus of black luminosity contracting his visage, cranes his scraggy neck forward. He lifts a mooncalf nozzle and howls.) Verfluchte Goim! He had a father, forty fathers. He never existed. Pig God! He had two left feet. He was Judas Iacchias, a Libyan eunuch, the pope's bastard⁹³⁶. (He leans out on tortured forepaws, elbows bent rigid⁹³⁷, his eye agonising in his flat skullneck and yelps⁹³⁸ over the mute world.) A son of a whore. Apocalypse.

KITTY And Mary Shortall that was in the lock with the pox she got from Jimmy Pidgeon in the blue caps had a child off him that couldn't swallow and was smothered⁹³⁹ with the convulsions in the mattress⁹⁴⁰ and we all subscribed⁹⁴¹ for the funeral.

PHILIP DRUNK (Gravely.) Qui vous a mis dans cette fichue position, Philippe?

PHILIP SOBER (Gaily.) C'était le sacré pigeon, Philippe.

(Kitty unpins her hat and sets it down calmly, patting her henna hair. And a prettier, a daintier head of winsome⁹⁴³ curls was never seen on a whores shoulders. Lynch puts on her hat. She whips it off.)

LYNCH (Laughs.) And to such delights has Metchnikoff inoculated⁹⁴⁴ anthropoid⁹⁴⁵ apes.

FLORRY (Nods.) Locomotor ataxy.

ZOE (Gaily.) O, my dictionary.

LYNCH Three wise virgins⁹⁴⁶.

VIRAG (Agueshaken, profuse⁹⁴⁷ yellow spawn⁹⁴⁸ foaming⁹⁴⁹ over his bony epileptic lips.) She sold lovephiltres, whitewax, orange flower. Panther, the Roman centurion⁹⁵⁰, polluted her with his genitories. (He sticks out a flickering⁹⁵¹ phosphorescent scorpion⁹⁵² tongue, his hand on his fork.) Messiah! He burst her tympanum. (With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips⁶¹⁶ in the cynical⁸⁸² spasm.) Hik! Hek! Hak! Hok! Huk! Kok! Kuk!

(Ben Jumbo Dollard, rubicund⁹⁵³, musclebound, hairynostrilled, hugebearded, cabbageeared, shaggychested, shockmaned, fatpapped, stands forth, his loins and genitals tightened⁹⁵⁴ into a pair of black bathing bagslops.)

BEN POLLARD (Nakkering castanet bones in his huge padded paws, yodels jovially⁹⁵⁵ in base barreltone.) When love absorbs my ardent⁹⁵⁶ soul.

(The virgins, Nurse Callan and Nurse Quigley, burst through the ringkeepers and the ropes and mob him with open arms.)

THE VIRGINS (Gushingly.) Big Ben! Ben MacChree!

A VOICE Hold that fellow with the bad breeches.

BEN DOLLARD (Smites his thigh in abundant laughter.) Hold him now.

HENRY (Caressing on his breast a severed⁹⁵⁷ female head, murmurs.) Thine heart, mine love. (He plucks his lutestrings.) When first I saw.

VIRAG (Sloughing his skins, his multitudinous plumage moulting.) Rats! (He yawns; showing a coalblack throat and closes his jaws by an upward push of his parchment roll.) After having said which I took my departure. Farewell. Fare thee well. Dreck!

(Henry Flower combs his moustache and beard rapidly with a pocketcomb and gives a cows lick to his hair. Steered⁹⁵⁹ by his rapier, he glides to the door his wild had slung behind him. Virag reaches the door in two ungainly stilthops, his tail cocked, and deftly claps sideways on the wall a pusyellow flybill, butting it with his head.)

THE FLYBILL K. 11. post no bills. Strictly⁹⁶⁰ confidential³²⁹. Dr Hy Franks.

HENRY All is lost now.

(Virag unscrews his head in a trice and holds it under his arm.)

VIRAG'S HEAD Quack⁹⁶¹!

(Exeunt severally.)

STEPHEN (Over his shoulder to Zoe.) You would have preferred the fighting parson who founded the protestant error. But beware Antisthenes, the dog sage¹³², and the last end of Anus Heresiarchus. The agony in the closet.

LYNCH All one and the same God to her.

STEPHEN (Devoutly.) And Sovereign Lord of all things.

FLORRY (To Stephen.) I'm sure you are a spoiled priest. Or a monk⁵²⁴.

LYNCH He is. A Cardinal's son.

STEPHEN Cardinal sin. Monks of the screw.

(His Eminence, Simon Stephen Cardinal Dedalus, Primate of all Ireland, appears in the doorway, dressed in red soutane, sandals and socks. Seven dwarf⁹⁶² simian⁹⁶³ acolytes⁹⁶⁴, also in red, cardinal sins, uphold his train, peeping under it. He wears a battered silk hat sideways on his head. His thumbs are stuck in his armpits and his palms outspread. Round his neck hangs a rosary of corks⁹⁶⁵ ending on his breast in a corkscrew cross. Releasing his thumbs, he invokes⁹⁶⁶ grace from on high with lace wave gestures and proclaims with bloated pomp.)

THE CARDINAL

Conservio lies captured.
He lies in the lowest dungeon⁹⁶⁷
With manacles and chains around his limbs
Weighing upwards⁹⁶⁸ of three tons.
(He looks at all for a moment, his right eye closed tight, his left cheek puffed⁹⁶⁹ out. Then, unable to repress his merriment, he rocks to and fro, ads akimbo, and sings with broad rollicking humour.) O, the poor little fellow Hi-hi-hi-hi-his legs they were yellow He was plump, fat and heavy and brisk as a snake But some bloody savage⁵⁰⁰ To graize his white cabbage He murdered Nell Flaherty's duckloving drake.
(A multitude of midges swarms⁹⁷⁰ over his robe. He scratches himself with crossed arms at his ribs⁹⁷¹, grimacing⁹⁷², and exclaims.) I'm suffering the agony of the damned. By the hoky fiddle⁹⁷³, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not unanimous. If they were they'd walk me off the face of the bloody globe.

(His head aslant⁹⁷⁴, he blesses curtly⁹⁷⁵ with fore and middle fingers, imparts the Easter kiss and doubleshuffles off comically, swaying his hat from side to side, shrinking quickly to the size of his train bearers. The dwarf acolytes, giggling⁹⁷⁶, peeping, nudging, ogling, Easterkissing, zigzag⁹⁷⁷ behind him. His voice is heard mellow⁹⁷⁸ from afar, merciful, male, melodious⁹⁷⁹.) Shall carry my heart to thee, Shall carry my heart to thee, And the breath of the balmy night Shall carry my heart to thee.

(The trick doorhandle turns.)

THE DOORHANDLE Theeee.

ZOE The devil is in that door.

(A male form passes down the creaking staircase and is heard taking the waterproof and hat from the rack. Bloom starts forward involuntarily and, half closing the door as he passes, takes the chocolate from his pocket and offers it nervously⁹⁸⁰ to Zoe.)

ZOE (Sniffs⁹⁸¹ his hair briskly.) Hum. Thank your mother for the rabbits. I'm very fond of what I like.

BLOOM (Hearing a male voice in talk with the whores on the doorstep, pricks⁹⁸² his ears.) If it were he? After? Or because not? Or the double event?

ZOE (Tears open the silverfoil.) Fingers was made before forks. (She breaks off and nibbles⁹⁸³ a piece, gives a piece to Kitty Ricketts and then turns kittenishly to Lynch.) No objection to French lozenges? (He nods. She taunts⁹⁸⁴ him.) Have it now or wait till you get it? (He opens his mouth, his head cocked. She whirls the prize in left circle. His head follows. She whirls it back in right circle. He eyes her.) Catch.

(She tosses a piece. With an adroit⁹⁸⁵ snap he catches it and bites it through with a crack.)

KITTY (Chewing.) The engineer I was with at the bazaar does have lovely ones. Full of the best liqueurs. And the viceroy was there with his lady. The gas we had on the Toft's hobbyhorses. I'm giddy still.

BLOOM (In Svengali's fur overcoat, with folded arms and Napoleonic forelock, frowns in ventriloquial exorcism with piercing eagle glance towards the door. Then, rigid, with left foot advanced, he makes a swift pass with impelling⁹⁸⁶ fingers and gives the sign of past master, drawing his right arm downwards⁹⁸⁷ from his left shoulder.) Go, go, go, I conjure you, whoever you are.

(A male cough and tread are heard passing through the mist outside. Blooms features relax. He places a hand in his waistcoat, posing calmly. Zoe offers him chocolate.)

BLOOM (Solemnly.) Thanks.

ZOE Do as you're bid. Here.

(A firm heelclacking is heard on the stairs.)

BLOOM (Takes the chocolate.) Aphrodisiac? But I thought it. Vanilla⁹⁸⁸ calms or? Mnemo. Confused light confuses memory. Red influences lupus. Colours affect women's characters, any they have. This black makes me sad. Eat and be merry for tomorrow. (He eats.) Influence taste too, mauve. But it is so long since I. Seems new. Aphro. That priest. Must come. Better late than never. Try truffles at Andrews.

(The door opens. Bella Cohen, a massive whoremistress enters. She is dressed in a threequarter ivory gown, fringed round the hem with tasselled selvedge, and cools herself flirting⁹⁸⁹ a black horn fan like Minnie Hauck in Carmen. On her left hand are wedding and keeper rings. Her eyes are deeply carboned. She has a sprouting⁹⁹⁰ moustache. Her olive face is heavy, slightly sweated and fullnosed, with orangetainted nostrils. She has lace pendant beryl eardrops.)

BELLA My word! I'm all of a mucksweat.

(She glances around her at the couples. Then her eyes rest on Bloom with hard insistence⁹⁹¹. Her lace fan winnows⁹⁹² wind towards her heated face, neck and embonpoint. Her falcon⁹⁹³ eyes glitter.)

THE FAN (Flirting quickly, then slowly.) Married, I see.

BLOOM Yes... Partly, I have mislaid .

THE FAN (Half opening, then closing.) And the missus is master. Petticoat government.

BLOOM (Looks down with a sheepish grin.) That is so.

THE FAN (Folding together, rests against her eardrop.) Have you forgotten me?

BLOOM Yes. No.

THE FAN (Folded akimbo against her waist.) Is me her was you dreamed before? Was then she him you us since knew? Am all them and the same now we? (Bella approaches, gently tapping with the fan.)

BLOOM (Wincing.) Powerful being. In my eyes read that slumber⁹⁹⁴ which women love.

THE FAN (Tapping.) We have met. You are mine. It is fate.

BLOOM (Cowed.) Exuberant⁹⁹⁵ female. Enormously I desiderate your domination. I am exhausted⁹⁹⁶, abandoned, no more young. I stand, so to speak, with an unposted letter bearing the extra regulation fee before the too late box of the general postoffice of human life. The door and window open at a right angle cause a draught⁹⁹⁷ of thirtytwo feet per second according to the law of falling bodies. I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left glutear muscle. It runs in our family. Poor dear papa, a widower⁹⁹⁸, was a regular barometer⁹⁹⁹ from it. He believed in animal heat. A skin of tabby lined his winter waistcoat. Near the end, remembering king David and the Sunamite, he shared his bed with Athos, faithful after death. A dog's spittle, as you probably... (He winces.) Ah!

RICHIE GOULDING (Bagweighted, passes the door.) Mocking is catch. Best value in Dub. Fit for a prince's liver and kidney.

THE FAN (Tapping.) All things end. Be mine. Now.

BLOOM (Undecided.) All now? I should not have parted with my talisman. Rain, exposure at dewfall on the sea rocks, a peccadillo¹⁰⁰⁰ at my time of life. Every phenomenon has a natural cause.

THE FAN (Points downwards slowly.) You may.

BLOOM (Looks downwards and perceives her unfastened bootlace. ) We are observed.

THE FAN (Points downwards quickly.) You must.

BLOOM (With desire, with reluctance¹⁰⁰¹.) I can make a true black knot. Learned when I served my time and worked the mail order line for Kellet's. Experienced hand. Every knot says a lot. Let me. In courtesy. I knelt once before today. Ah!

(Bella raises her gown slightly and, steadying her pose, lifts to the edge of a chair a plump buskined hoof and a full pastern, silksocked. Bloom, stifflegged ageing, bends over her hoof and with gentle fingers draws out and in her laces.)

BLOOM (Murmurs lovingly.) To be a shoefitter in Mansfield's was my love's young dream, the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking, to lace up crisscrossed to kneelength the dressy kid footwear satinlined, so incredibly small, of Clyde Road ladies. Even their wax model Raymonde I visited daily to admire her cobweb hose and stick of rhubarb toe, as worn in Paris.

THE HOOF Smell my hot goathide. Feel my royal weight.

BLOOM (Crosslacing.) Too tight?

THE HOOF If you bungle¹⁰⁰², Handy Andy, I'll kick your football for you.

BLOOM Not to lace the wrong eyelet as I did the night of the bazaar dance. Bad luck. Nook in wrong tache of her... person you mentioned. That night she met... Now!

(He knots the lace. Bella places her foot on the floor. Bloom raises his head. Her heavy face, her eyes strike him in mid-brow. His eyes grow dull, darker and pouched¹⁰⁰³, his nose thickens.)

BLOOM (Mumbles.) Awaiting your further orders, we remain, gentlemen.

BELLO (With a hard basilisk stare, in a baritone voice.) Hound of dishonour⁸²⁴!

BLOOM (Infatuated.) Empress!

BELLO (His heavy cheekchops sagging¹⁰⁰⁴.) Adorer of the adulterous rump!

BLOOM (Plaintively.) Hugeness!

BELLO Dungdevourer!

BLOOM (With sinews semiflexed.) Magnificence.

BELLO Down! (He taps her on the shoulder with his fan.) Incline feet forward! Slide left foot one pace back. You will fall. You are falling. On the hands down!

BLOOM (Her eyes upturned in the sign of admiration¹⁰⁰⁵, closing.) Truffles!

(With a piercing epileptic cry she sinks on all fours, grunting, snuffling, rooting at his feet, then lies, shamming¹⁰⁰⁶ dead with eyes shut tight, trembling eyelids, bowed upon the ground in the attitude of most excellent master.)

BELLO (With bobbed hair purple gills, fat moustache rings round his shaven mouth, in mountaineer's puttees, green silverbuttoned coat, sport skirt and alpine hat with moor¹⁷⁹ cock's feather, his hands stuck deep in his breeches pockets, places his heel on her neck and grinds it in.) Feel my entire weight. Bow, bondslave, before the throne of your despot's glorious heels, so glistening¹⁰⁰⁷ in their proud erectness¹⁰⁰⁸.

BLOOM (Enthralled, bleats¹⁰⁰⁹.) I promise never to disobey.

BELLO (Laughs loudly.) Holy smoke! You little know what's in store for you. I'm the tartar to settle your little lot and break you in! I'll bet Kentucky cocktails¹⁰¹⁰ all round I shame it out of you, old son. Cheek me, I dare you. If you do tremble in anticipation¹⁰¹¹ of heel discipline to be inflicted¹⁰¹² in gym costume.

(Bloom creeps under the sofa and peers out through the fringe.

ZOE (Widening her slip to screen her.) She's not here.

BLOOM (Closing her eyes.) She's not here.

FLORRY (Hiding her with her gown.) She didn't mean it, Mr Bello. She'll be good, sir.

KITTY Don't be too hard on her, Mr Bello. Sure you won't, ma'amsir.

BELLO (Coaxingly.) Come, ducky dear. I want a word with you, darling, just to administer correction. Just a little heart to heart talk, sweety. (Bloom puts out her timid head.) There's a good girly now. (Bello grabs her hair violently and drags her forward.) I only want to correct you for your own good on a soft safe spot. How's that tender behind? O, ever so gently, pet. Begin to get ready.

BLOOM (Fainting.) Don't tear my.

BELLO (Savagely.) The nosering, the pliers, the bastinado, the hanging hook, the knout I'll make you kiss while the flutes¹⁰¹³ play like the Nubian slave of old. You're in for it this time. I'll make you remember me for the balance of your natural life. (His forehead veins swollen, his face congested.) I shall sit on your ottoman saddleback every morning after my thumping¹⁰¹⁴ good breakfast of Matterson's fat ham rashers and a bottle of Guinness's porter. (He belches¹⁰¹⁵.) And suck my thumping good Stock Exchange cigar while I read the Licensed¹⁰¹⁶ Victualler's Gazette. Very possibly I shall have you slaughtered¹⁰¹⁷ and skewered¹⁰¹⁸ in my stables and enjoy a slice Of you with crisp crackling from the baking tin basted¹⁰¹⁹ and baked like sucking pig with rice and lemon or currant sauce. It will hurt you.

(He twists her arm. Bloom squeaks, turning turtle.)

BLOOM Don't be cruel, nurse! Don't!

BELLO (Twisting.) Another!

BLOOM (Screams.) O, it's hell itself! Every nerve in my body aches like mad!

BELLO (Shouts.) Good, by the rumping jumping general! That's the best bit of news I heard these six weeks. Here, don't keep me waiting, damn you. (He slaps her face.)

BLOOM (Whimpers.) You're after hitting me. I'll tell...

BELLO Hold him down, girls, till I squat³¹ on him.

ZOE Yes. Walk on him! I will.

FLORRY I will. Don't be greedy.

KITTY No, me. Lend him to me.

(The brothel cook, Mrs Keogh, wrinkled, greybearded, in a greasy¹⁰²⁰ bib, men's grey and green socks and brogues, flour-smeared, a rollingpin stuck with raw pastry¹⁰²¹ in her bare red arm and hand, appears at the door.)

MRS KEOCH (Ferociously.) Can I help? (They hold and pinion¹⁰²³ Bloom.)

BELLO (Squats, with a grunt¹⁷⁸, on Bloom's upturned face, puffing cigar-smoke, nursing a fat leg.) I see Keating Clay is elected chairman of the Richmond Asylum and bytheby Guinness's preference shares are at sixteen three quarters. Curse me for a fool that I didn't buy that lot Craig and Gardner told me about. Just my infernal luck, curse it. And that Goddamned outsider Throwaway at twenty to one. (He quenches¹⁰²⁴ his cigar angrily on Bloom's ear.) Where's that Goddamned cursed ashtray¹⁰²⁵?

BLOOM (Goaded, buttocksmothered.) O! O! Monsters! Cruel one!

BELLO Ask for that every ten minutes. Beg, pray for it as you never prayed before. (He thrusts out a figged fist and foul cigar.) Here, kiss that. Both. Kiss. (He throws a leg astride and, pressing with horseman's knees, calls in a hard voice.) Gee⁴¹⁸ up! A cockhorse to Banbury cross. I'll ride him for the Eclipse stakes. (He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting.) Ho! off we pop! I'll nurse you in proper fashion. (He horserides cockhorse, leaping in the saddle.) The lady goes a pace a pace and the coachman goes a trot¹⁰⁹ a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop⁴³⁸ a gallop a gallop a gallop.

FLORRY (Pulls at Bello.) Let me on him now. You had enough. I asked before you.

ZOE (Pulling at Florry.) Me. Me. Are you not finished with him yet, suckeress?

BLOOM (Stifling.) Can't.

BELLO Well, I'm not. Wait. (He holds in his breath.) Curse it. Here. This bung's about burst. (He uncorks himself behind: then, contorting his features, farts loudly.) Take that! (He recorks himself) Yes, by Jingo, sixteen three quarters.

BLOOM (A sweat breaking out over him.) Not man. (He sniffs.) Woman.

BELLO (Stands up.) No more blow hot and cold. What you longed for has come to pass. Henceforth you are unmanned and mine in earnest, a thing under the yoke¹⁰²⁶. Now for your punishment frock. You will shed your male garments, you understand, Ruby Cohen? and don the shot silk luxuriously¹⁰²⁷ rustling¹⁰²⁸ over head and shoulders and quickly too.

BLOOM (Shrinks.) Silk, mistress said! O crinkly! scrapy! Must I tip-touch it with my nails?

BELLO (Points to his whores.) As they are now, so will you be, wigged¹⁰²⁹, singed¹⁰³⁰, perfumesprayed, ricepowdered, with smoothshaven armpits. Tape measurements will be taken next your skin. You will be laced with cruel force into vicelike corsets of soft dove coutille, with whalebone busk, to the diamond trimmed pelvis, the absolute outside edge, while your figure, plumper than when at large, will be restrained in nettight frocks, pretty two ounce petticoats and fringes and things stamped, of course, with my houseflag, creations of lovely lingerie for Alice and nice scent⁶⁵⁶ for Alice. Alice will feel the pullpull. Martha and Mary will be a little chilly¹⁰³¹ at first in such delicate thighcasing but the frilly flimsiness of lace round your bare knees will remind you...

BLOOM (A chafing¹⁰³² soubrette with dauby cheeks, mustard hair and lace male hands and nose, leering mouth.) I tried her things on only once, a small prank¹⁰³³, in Holles street. When we were hardup I washed them to save the laundry bill. My own shirts I turned. It was the purest thrift¹⁰³⁴.

BELLO (Jeers.) Little jobs that make mother pleased, eh! and showed off coquettishly in your domino at the mirror behind close-drawn blinds your unskirted thighs and hegoat's udders, in various poses of surrender, eh? Ho! Ho! I have to laugh! That secondhand black operatop shift and short trunk leg naughties all split up the stitches at her last rape⁵³⁹ that Mrs Miriam Dandrade sold you from the Shelbourne Hotel, eh?

BLOOM Miriam, Black. Demimondaine.

BELLO (Guffaws¹⁰³⁵.) Christ Almighty¹⁰³⁶, it's too tickling, this! You were a nicelooking Miriam when you clipped off your backgate hairs and lay swooning in the thing across the bed as Mrs Dandrade, about to be violated by Lieutenant Smythe Smythe, Mr Philip Augustus Blockwell, M.P., Signor Laci Daremo, the robust¹⁰³⁷ tenor, blueeyed Bert, the liftboy, Henry Fleury of Gordon Bennett fame, Sheridan, the quadroon Cr&Aelig;sus, the varsity wetbob eight from old Trinity, Ponto, her splendid Newfoundland and Bobs, dowager duchess of Manorhamilton. (He guffaws again.) Christ, wouldn't it make a Siamese cat laugh?

BLOOM (Her hands and features working.) It was Gerald converted me to be a true corsetlover when I was female impersonator in the High School play Vice Versa. It was dear Gerald. He got that kink, fascinated by sister's stays. Now dearest Gerald uses pinky greasepaint and gilds¹⁰³⁸ his eyelids. Cult of the beautiful.

BELLO (With wicked glee.) Beautiful! Give us a breather! When you took your seat with womanish care, lifting your billowy flounces, on the smoothworn throne.

BLOOM Science. To compare the various joys we each enjoy. (Earnestly.) And really it's better the position... because often I used to wet.

BELLO (Sternly.) No insubordination. The sawdust is there in the corner for you. I gave you strict instructions, didn't I? Do it standing, sir! I'll teach you to behave like a jinkleman! If I catch a trace on your swaddles. Aha! By the ass of the Dorans you'll find I'm a martinet¹⁰⁴⁰. The sins of your past are rising against you. Many. Hundreds.

THE SINS OF THE PAST (In a medley¹⁰⁴¹ of voices.) He went through a form of clandestine¹⁰⁴² marriage with at least one woman in the shadow of the Black Church. Unspeakable messages he telephoned mentally to Miss Dunn at an address in d'Olier Street while he presented himself indecently to the instrument in the callbox. By word and deed he encouraged a nocturnal strumpet to deposit fecal and other matter in an unsanitary outhouse attached to empty premises. In five public conveniences he wrote pencilled messages offering his nuptial¹⁰⁴³ partner to all strongmembered males. And by the offensively smelling vitriol works did he not pass night after night by loving courting couples to see if and what and how much he could see? Did he not lie in bed, the gross boar, gloating over a nauseous fragment of wellused toilet paper presented to him by a nasty harlot, stimulated¹⁰⁴⁴ by gingerbread and a postal¹⁰⁴⁵ order?

BELLO (Whistles loudly.) Say! What was the most revolting piece of obscenity in all your career of crime? Go the whole hog. Puke it out. Be candid¹⁰⁴⁶ for once.

(Mute inhuman¹⁰⁴⁷ faces throng forward, leering, vanishing, gibbering, Eooloohoom. Poldy Hock, Bootlaces a penny, cassidy's hag, blind stripling, Larry Rhinoceros¹⁰⁴⁸, the girl, the woman, the whore, the other the... )

BLOOM Don't ask me. Our mutual faith. Pleasants street. I only thought the half of the... I swear on my sacred oath...

BELLO (Peremptorily.) Answer. Repugnant wretch¹⁰⁴⁹! I insist on knowing. Tell me something to amuse me, smut or a bloody good-ghoststory or a line of poetry, quick, quick, quick! Where? How? What time? With how many? I give you just three seconds. One! Two! Thr... !

BLOOM (Docile, gurgles.) I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant...

BELLO (Imperiously.) O get out, you skunk¹⁰⁵⁰! Hold your tongue! Speak when you're spoken to.

BLOOM (Bows.) Master! Mistress! Mantamer!

(He lifts his arms. His bangle bracelets fall.)

BELLO (Satirically.) By day you will souse and bat our smelling underclothes, also when we ladies are unwell, and swab out our latrines with dress pinned up and a dishclout tied to your tail. Won't that be nice? (He places a ruby ring on her finger.) And there now! With this ring I thee own. Say, thank you, mistress.

BLOOM Thank you, mistress.

BELLO You will make the beds, get my tub ready, empty the pisspots in the different rooms, including old Mrs Keogh's the cook's, a sandy one. Ay, and rinse¹⁰⁵¹ the seven of them well, mind, or lap it up like champagne. Drink me piping hot. Hop¹⁰⁵! you will dance attendance or I'll lecture you on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and spank⁴⁹⁰ your bare bot right well, miss, with the hairbrush. You'll be taught the error of your ways. At night your wellcreamed braceleted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented¹⁰⁵² fingertips. For such favours knights¹⁰⁵⁴ of old laid down their lives. (He chuckles¹⁰⁵⁵.) My boys will be no end charmed to see you so ladylike, the colonel, above all. When they come here the night before the wedding to fondle my new attraction in gilded¹⁰⁵⁶ heels. First, I'll have a go at you myself. A man I know on the turf named Charles Alberta Marsh⁶¹⁵ (I was in bed with him just now and another gentleman out of the Hanaper and Petty Bag office) is on the lookout¹⁰⁵⁷ for a maid of all work at a short knock. Swell⁴⁶⁹ the bust¹⁵⁸. Smile. Droop¹⁸² shoulders. What offers? (He points.) For that lot trained by owner to fetch and carry, basket in mouth. (He bares his arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva.) There's fine depth for you! What, boys? That give you a hardon? (He shoves his arm in a bidder¹⁰⁵⁸'s face.) Here, wet the deck and wipe it round!

A BIDDER A florin!

(Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell.)

A VOICE One and eightpence too much.

THE LACQUEY Barang!

CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH Must be virgin. Good breath. Clean.

BELLO (Gives a rap with his gavel.) Two bar. Rockbottom figure and cheap at the price. Fourteen hands high. Touch and examine his points. Handle him. This downy skin, these soft muscles, this tender flesh. If I had only my gold piercer here! And quite easy to milk. Three newlaid gallons a day. A pure stock getter, due to lay within the hour. His sire's milk record was a thousand gallons of whole milk in forty weeks. Whoa, my jewel! Beg up! Whoa! (He brands his initial Con Bloom's croup.) So! Warranted Cohen! What advance on two bob, gentlemen?

A DARKVISAGED MAN (In disguised accent.) Hoondert punt sterlink.

VOICES (Subdued.) For the Caliph Haroun Al Raschid.

BELLO (Gaily.) Right. Let them all come. The scanty¹⁰⁶⁰, daringly short skirt, riding up at the knee to show a peep of white pantalette, is a potent weapon and transparent¹⁰⁶¹ stockings, emeraldgartered, with the long straight seam trailing up beyond the knee, appeal to the better instincts of the blasé man about town. Learn the smooth mincing¹⁰⁶² walk on four inch Louis XV heels, the Grecian bend with provoking croup, the thighs fluescent, knees modestly kissing. Bring all your power of fascination¹⁰⁶³ to bear on them. Pander¹⁰⁶⁴ to their Gomorrahan vices¹⁰⁶⁵.

BLOOM (Bends his blushing face into his armpit and simpers with forefinger in mouth.) O, I know what you're hinting at now.

BELLO What else are you good for, an impotent thing like you? (He stoops and, peering, pokes with his fan rudely under the fat suetfolds of Bloom's haunches.) Up! Up! Manx cat! What have we here? Where's your curly teapot gone to or who docked it on you, cockyolly? Sing, birdy, sing. It's as limp as a boy of six's doing his pooly behind a cart. Buy a bucket or sell your pump. (Loudly.) Can you do a man's job?

BLOOM Eccles Street.

BELLO (Sarcastically.) I wouldn't hurt your feelings for the world but there's a man of brawn¹⁰⁶⁶ in possession there. The tables are turned, my gay young fellow! He is something like a fullgrown outdoor man. Well for you, you muff, if you had that weapon with knobs and lumps and warts all over it. He shot his bolt, I can tell you! Foot to foot, knee to knee, belly to belly, bubs to breast! He's no eunuch. A shock of red hair he has sticking out of him behind like a furzebush! Wait for nine months, my lad! Holy ginger, it's kicking and coughing up and down in her guts¹⁰⁶⁷ already! That makes you wild, don't it? Touches the spot? (He spits in contempt.) Spittoon!

BLOOM I was indecently treated, I... inform the police. Hundred pounds. Unmentionable. I.

BELLO Would if you could, lame⁴⁴⁸ duck. A downpour we want, not your drizzle¹⁰⁶⁸.

BLOOM To drive me mad! Moll! I forgot! Forgive! Moll!... We... Still...

BELLO (Ruthlessly.) No, Leopold Bloom, all is changed by woman's will since you slept horizontal in Sleepy Hollow your night of twenty years. Return and see.

(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the wold.)

SLEEPY HOLLOW Rip Van Winkle! Rip Van Winkle!

BLOOM (In tattered¹⁰⁶⁹ moccasins with a rusty¹⁰⁷⁰ fowlingpiece, tip toeing, fingertipping, his haggard bony bearded face peering through the diamond panes¹⁰⁷¹, cries out.) I see her! It's she! The first night at Mat Dillon's! But that dress, the green! And her hair is dyed gold and he.

BELLO (Laughs mockingly.) That's your daughter, you owl⁷, with a Mullingar student.

(Milly Bloom, fairhaired, greenvested, slimsandalled, her bluescab in the seawind simply swirling¹⁰⁷², breaks from the arms of her lover and calls, her young eyes wonderwide.)

MILLY My! It's Papli! But. O Papli, how old you've grown!

BELLO Changed, eh? Our whatnot, our writing table where we never wrote, Aunt Hegarty's armchair, our classic reprints of old masters. A man and his men friends are living there in clover. The Cuckoos' Rest! Why not? How many women had you, say? Following them up dark streets, flatfoot, exciting them by your smothered grunts¹⁰⁷³. What, you male prostitute? Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. Turn about. Sauce for the goose, my gander, O.

BLOOM They... I

BELLO (Cuttingly.) Their heelmarks will stamp the Brusselette carpet you bought at Wren's auction¹⁰⁷⁴. In their horseplay with Moll the romp³⁵⁹ to find the buck flea¹⁰⁷⁵ in her breeches they will deface the little statue you carried home in the rain for art for art's sake. They will violate the secrets of your bottom drawer. Pages will be torn from your handbook of astronomy to make them pipespills. And they will spit in your ten shilling brass fender from Hampton Leedom's.

BLOOM Ten and six. The act of low scoundrels. Let me go. I will return. I will prove...

A VOICE Swear!

(Bloom clenches¹⁰⁷⁶ his fists and crawls forward, a bowie knife between his teeth.)

BELLO As a paying guest or a kept man? Too late. You have made your secondbest bed and others must lie in it. Your epitaph is written. You are down and out and don't you forget it, old bean.

BLOOM Justice! All Ireland versus one! Has nobody... ?

(He bites his thumb.)

BELLO Die and be damned to you if you have any sense of decency¹⁰⁷⁷ or grace about you. I can give you a rare old wine that'll send you skipping to hell and back. Sign a will and leave us any coin you have. If you have none see you damn well get it, steal it, rob it! We'll bury you in our shrubbery jakes where you'll be dead and dirty with old Cuck Cohen, my stepnephew I married, the bloody old gouty procurator and sodomite with a crick in his neck, and my other ten or eleven husbands, what ever the buggers' names were, suffocated¹⁰⁷⁸ in the one cess pool. (He explodes in a loud phlegmy laugh.) We'll manure¹⁰⁷⁹ you, Mr Flower! (He pipes scoffingly¹⁰⁸⁰.) Byby, Poldy! Byby, Papli!

BLOOM (Clasps his head.) My will power! Memory! I have sinned! I have suff... (He weeps tearlessly.)

BELLO (Sneers.) Crybabby! Crocodile tears!

(Bloom, broken, closely veiled for the sacrifice, sobs¹⁰⁸², his face to the earth. The passing bell is heard. Darkshawled figures of the circumcised, in sackcloth and ashes, stand by the wailing¹⁰⁸³ wall. M. Shulomowitz, Joseph Goldwater Moses Herzog, Harris Rosenberg, M. Moisel, J. Citron, Minnie Watchman, 0. Mastiansky, the Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen. With swaying arms they wail⁴⁰ in pneuma over the recreant¹⁰⁸⁴ Bloom.)

THE CIRCUMCISED (In a dark guttural chant as they cast dead sea fruit upon him, no flowers.) Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.

VOICES (Sighing.) So he's gone. Ah, yes. Yes, indeed. Bloom? Never heard of him. No? Queer kind of chap. There's the widow. That so? Ah, yes.

(From the suttee pyre the flame of gum camphire ascends. The pall of incense¹⁰⁸⁵ smoke screens and disperses¹⁰⁸⁶. Out of her oak frame a nymph with hair unbound, lightly clad in teabrown art colours, descends from her grotto¹⁰⁸⁷ and passing under interlacing yews¹⁰⁸⁸, stands over Bloom.)

THE YEWS (Their leaves whispering.) Sister. Our sister. Ssh.

THE NYMPH (Softly.) Mortal! (Kindly.) Nay, dost not weepest!

BLOOM (Crawls jellily forward under the boughs¹⁰⁸⁹, streaked¹⁰⁹⁰ by sunlight, with dignity.) This position. I felt it was expected of me. Force of habit.

THE NYMPH Mortal! You found me in evil company, high kickers, coster picnic makers⁶²⁶, pugilists, popular generals, immoral¹⁰⁹¹ panto boys in flesh tights and the nifty shimmy dancers, La Aurora and Karini, musical act, the hit of the century. I was hidden in cheap pink paper that smelt¹⁰⁹² of rock oil. I was surrounded by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary¹⁰⁹³ articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured¹⁰⁹⁴ gentleman. Useful hints to the married.

BLOOM (Lifts a turtle head towards her lap.) We have met before. On another star.

THE NYMPH (Sadly.) Rubber goods. Neverrip. Brand as sup plied¹⁰⁹⁵ to the aristocracy. Corsets for men. I cure fits or money refunded¹⁰⁹⁶. Unsolicited testimonials for Professor Waldmann's wonderful chest exuber. My bust developed four inches in three weeks, reports Mrs Gus Rublin with photo.

BLOOM You mean Photo Bits?

THE NYMPH I do. You bore me away, framed me in oak and tinsel, set me above your marriage couch. Unseen, one summer eve, you kissed me in four places. And with loving pencil you shaded my eyes, my bosom and my shame.

BLOOM (Humbly kisses her long hair.) Your classic curves, beautiful immortal¹⁰⁹⁷. I was glad to look on you, to praise you, a thing of beauty, almost to pray.

THE NYMPH During dark nights I heard your praise.

BLOOM (Quickly.) Yes, yes. You mean that I... Sleep reveals the worst side of everyone, children perhaps excepted. I know I fell out of my bed or rather was pushed. Steel wine is said to cure snoring. For the rest there is that English invention, pamphlet of which I received some days ago, incorrectly addressed. It claims to afford a noiseless inoffensive vent⁸⁵. (He sighs.) 'Twas ever thus. Frailty¹⁰⁹⁸, thy name is marriage.

THE NYMPH (Her fingers in her ears.) And words. They are not in my dictionary.

BLOOM You understood them?

THE YEWS Ssh.

THE NYMPH (Covers her face with her hand.) What have I not seen in that chamber? What must my eyes look down on?

BLOOM (Apologetically.) I know. Soiled personal linen⁷⁸³, wrong side up with care. The quoits are loose. From Gibraltar by long sea, long ago.

THE NYMPH (Bends her head.) Worse! Worse!

BLOOM (Reflects precautiously.) That antiquated¹⁰⁹⁹ commode. It wasn't her weight. She scaled just eleven stone nine. She put on nine pounds after weaning. It was a crack and want of glue. Eh? And that absurd orangekeyed utensil¹¹⁰⁰ which has only one handle.

(The sound of a waterfall is heard in bright cascade¹¹⁰¹.)

THE WATERFALL

Poulaphouca Poulaphouca
Poulaphouca Poulaphouca.
THE YEWS (Mingling their boughs.) Listen. Whisper. She is right, our sister. We grew by Poulaphouca waterfall. We gave shade on languorous¹¹⁰² summer days.
JOHN WYSE NOLAN (In the background, in Irish National For ester's uniform, doffs¹¹⁰³ his plumed hat.) Prosper¹¹⁰⁴! Give shade on languorous days, trees of Ireland!

THE YEWS (Murmuring.) Who came to Poulaphouca with the high school excursion? Who left his nutquesting classmates to seek our shade?

BLOOM (Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in nondescript juvenile¹¹⁰⁵ grey and black striped suit, too small for him, white tennis shoes, bordered stockings with turnover¹¹⁰⁶ tops, and a red school cap with badge.) I was in my teens, a growing boy. A little then sufficed, a jolting¹¹⁰⁷ car, the mingling odours of the ladies' cloakroom and lavatory¹¹⁰⁸, the throng penned tight on the old Royal stairs, for they love crushes, instincts of the herd²⁵⁹, and the dark sexsmelling theatre unbridles vice. Even a pricelist of their hosiery. And then the heat. There were sunspots that summer. End of school. And tipsycake. Halcyon¹¹⁰⁹ days.

(Halcyon Days, high school boys in blue and white football jerseys¹¹¹¹ and shorts, Master Donald Turnbull, Master Abraham Chatterton, Master Owen Goldberg, Master Jack Meredith, Master Percy Apjohn, stand in a clearing of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom.)

THE HALCYON DAYS Mackerel! Live us again. Hurray!

(They cheer.)

BLOOM (Hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, stunned¹¹¹² with spent snowballs, struggles to rise.) Again! I feel sixteen! What a lark¹¹¹³! Let's ring all the bells in Montague Street. (He cheers feebly.) Hurray for the High School!

THE ECHO Fool!

THE YEWS (Rustling.) She is right, our sister. Whisper. (Whispered kisses are heard in all the wood. Faces of hamadryads peep out from the boles and among the leaves and break blossoming into bloom.) Who profaned¹¹¹⁴ our silent shade?

THE NYMPH (Coyly through parting fingers.) There! In the open air?

THE YEWS (Sweeping downward.) Sister, yes. And on our virgin sward.

THE WATERFALL

Poulaphouca Poulaphouca
Phoucaphouca Phoucaphouca.
THE NYMPH (With wide fingers.) O! Infamy!
BLOOM I was precocious. Youth. The fauns. I sacrificed to the god of the forest. The flowers that bloom in the spring. It was pairing time. Capillary¹¹¹⁵ attraction is a natural phenomenon. Lotty Clarke, flaxenhaired, I saw at her night toilette through ill-closed curtains, with poor papa's operaglasses. The wanton ate grass wildly. She rolled downhill at Rialto Bridge to tempt¹⁵⁶ me with her flow of animal spirits. She climbed their crooked²¹⁰ tree and I... A saint couldn't resist it. The demon¹¹¹⁶ possessed me. Besides, who saw?

(Staggering Bob, a whitepolled calf⁹³⁵ thrusts a ruminating¹¹¹⁷ head with humid nostrils through the foliage¹¹¹⁸.)

STAGGERING BOB Me. Me see.

BLOOM Simply satisfying a need. (With pathos¹¹¹⁹.) No girl would when I went girling. Too ugly. They wouldn't play.

(High on Ben Howth through rhododendrons a nannygoat passes, plumpuddered, buttytailed, dropping curvants.)

THE NANNYGOAT (Bleats.) Megegaggegg! Nannannanny!

BLOOM (Hatless, flushed, covered with burn of thistledown and gotrepine.) Regularly engaged. Circumstances alter cases. (He gazes intently downwards on the water.) Thirtytwo head over heels per second. Press nightmare. Giddy Elijah. Fall from cliff. Sad end of government printer's clerk. (Through silversilent summer air the dummy¹¹²⁰ of Bloom, rolled in a mummy, rolls rotatingly from the Lion's Head cliff into the purple Waiting waters.)

THE DUMMYMUMMY Bbbbblllllbbblblodschbg?

(Far out in the bay between Bailey and Kish lights the Erin's King sails, sending a broadening plume⁹²⁰ of coalsmoke from her funnel towards the land.)

COUNCILLOR NANNETI (Alone on deck, in dark alpaca, yellow kitefaced, his hand in his waistcoat opening, declaims.) When my country takes her place among the nations of the earth, then, and not till then let my epitaph be written. I have...

BLOOM Done. Prff.

THE NYMPH (Loftily.) We immortals¹¹²¹, as you saw today, have not such a place and no hair there either. We are stonecold and pure. We eat electric light. (She arches her body in lascivious¹¹²² crispation, placing her forefinger in her mouth.) Spoke¹²⁸ to me. Heard from behind. How then could you... ?

BLOOM (Pacing the heather abjectly¹¹²³.) O, I have been a perfect pig. Enemas too I have administered. One third of a pint¹¹²⁴ of quassia, to which add a tablespoonful of rocksalt. Up the fundament. With Hamilton Long's syringe, the ladies' friend.

THE NYMPH In my presence. The powderpuff. (She blushes and makes a knee.) And the rest.

BLOOM (Dejected.) Yes. Peccavi! I have paid homage on that living altar where the back changes name. (With sudden fervour.) For why should the dainty scented jewelled hand, the hand that rules... ?

(Figures wind serpenting in slow woodland pattern around the treestems, cooeeing.)

THE VOICE OF KITTY (In the thicket¹¹²⁵.) Show us one of them cushions.

THE VOICE OF FLORRY Here.

(A grouse¹¹²⁶ wings clumsily through the underwood.)

THE VOICE OF LYNCH (In the thicket.) Whew! Piping hot!

THE VOICE OF ZOE (From the thicket.) Came from a hot place.

THE VOICE OF VIRAG (A birdchief bluestreaked and feathered in war panoply¹¹²⁷ with his assegai, striding through a crackling canebrake over beechmast and acorns¹¹²⁸.) Hot! Hot! Ware¹³⁷ Sitting Bull!

BLOOM It overpowers me. The warm impress of her warm form. Even to sit where a woman has sat, especially with divaricated thighs, as though to grant the last favours, most especially with previously¹¹²⁹ well uplifted white sateen coatpans. So womanly full. It fills me full.

THE WATERFALL

Phillaphulla Poulaphouca
Poulaphouca Poulaphouca.
THE YEWS Ssh! Sister, speak!
THE NYMPH (Eyeless, in nun¹⁹²'s white habit, coif and huge winged wimple, softly, with remote eyes.) Tranquilia convent. Sister Agatha. Mount Carmel, the apparitions¹¹³⁰ of Knock and Lourdes. No more desire. (She reclines her head, sighing.) Only the ethereal. Where dreamy creamy gull waves o'er the waters dull.

(Bloom half rises. His back trousers button snaps.)

THE BUTTON Bip!

(Two sluts of the Coombe dance rainily by, shawled, yelling flatly.)

THE SLUTS

O Leopold lost the pin of his drawers
He didn't know what to do,
To keep it up,
To keep it up.
BLOOM (Coldly.) You have broken the spell. The last straw. If there were only ethereal where would you all be, postulants and novices¹¹³¹? Shy but willing, like an ass pissing.
THE YEWS (Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating¹¹³², their skinny arms ageing and swaying.) Deciduously!

THE NYMPH Sacrilege! To attempt my virtue! (A large moist stain appears on her robe.) Sully my innocence! You are not fit to touch the garment of a pure woman. (She clutches in her robe.) Wait, Satan. You'll sing no more lovesongs. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. (She draws a poniard and, clad in the sheathmail of an elected knight¹⁰⁵³ of nine, strikes at his loins.) Nekum!

BLOOM (Starts up, seizes her hand.) Hoy! Nebrakada! Cat of nine lives! Fair play, madam. No pruning¹¹³³ knife. The fox and the grapes, is it? What do we lack with your barbed wire? Crucifix not thick enough? (He clutches her veil.) A holy abbot you want or Brophy, the lame gardener, or the spoutless¹¹³⁴ statue of the watercarrier or good Mother Alphonsus, eh Reynard?

THE NYMPH (With a cry, flees from him unveiled, her plaster cast cracking, a cloud of stench escaping from the cracks.) Poli... !

BLOOM (Calls after her.) As if you didn't get it on the double yourselves. No jerks and multiple mucosities all over you. I tried it. Your strength our weakness. What's our stud fee? What will you pay on the nail? You fee men dancers on the Riviera, I read. (The fleeing nymph raises a keen.) Eh! I have sixteen years of black slave labour behind me. And would a jury give me five shillings alimony tomorrow, eh? Fool someone else, not me. (He sniffs.) But. Onions. Stale. Sulphur. Grease.

(The figure of Bella Cohen stands before him.)

BELLA You'll know me the next time.

BLOOM (Composed, regards her.) Passée. Mutton dressed as lamb. Lone²⁰⁶ in the tooth and superfluous¹¹³⁵ hairs. A raw onion the last thing at night would benefit your complexion¹¹³⁶. And take some double chin drill. Your eyes are as vapid¹¹³⁷ as the glass eyes of your stuffed fox. They have the dimensions of your other features, that's all. I'm not a triple screw propeller¹¹³⁸.

BELLA (Contemptuously.) You're not game, in fact. (Her sowcunt barks.) Fohracht!

BLOOM (Contemptuously.) Clean your nailless middle finger first, the cold spunk¹¹³⁹ of your bully¹¹⁴⁰ is dripping from your cockscomb. Take a handful of hay and wipe yourself.

BELLA I know you, canvasser! Dead cod!

BLOOM I saw him, kipkeeper! Pox and gleet vendor¹¹⁴¹!

BELLA (Turns to the piano.) Which of you was playing the dead march from Saul?

ZOE Me. Mind your cornflowers. (She darts to the piano and bangs chords on it with crossed arms.) The cat's ramble³⁵ through the slag¹¹⁴². (She glances back.) Eh? Who's making love to my sweeties? (She darts back to the table.) What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own.

(Kitty disconcerted coats her teeth with the silver paper. Bloom approaches Zoe.)

BLOOM (Gently.) Give me back that potato, will you? Zoe Forfeits¹¹⁴³, a fine thing and a superfine thing.

BLOOM (With feeling.) It is nothing, but still a relic¹¹⁴⁴ of poor mamma.

ZOE

Give a thing and take it back
God'll ask you where is that
You'll say you don't know
God'll send you down below.
BLOOM There is a memory attached to it. I should like to have it.
STEPHEN To have or not to have, that is the question.

ZOE Here. (She hauls up a reef of her slip, revealing her bare thigh and unrolls the potato from the top of her stocking.) Those that hides knows where to find.

BELLA (Frowns.) Here. This isn't a musical peepshow. And don't you smash that piano. Who's paying here?

(She goes to the pianola. Stephen fumbles in his pocket and, taking out a banknote by its corner, hands it to her.)

STEPHEN (With exaggerated politeness.) This silken purse I made out of the sow's ear of the public. Madam, excuse me. If you allow me. (He indicates vaguely Lynch and Bloom.) We are all in the same sweepstake, Kinch and Lynch. Dans ce bordel où tenons nostre état.

LYNCH (Calls from the hearth.) Dedalus! Give her your blessing¹¹⁴⁶ for me.

STEPHEN (Hands Bella a coin.) Gold. She has it.

BELLA (Looks at the money, then at Zoe, Florry and Kitty.) Do you want three girls? It's ten shillings here.

STEPHEN (Delightedly.) A hundred thousand apologies. (He fumbles again and takes out and hands her two crowns.) Permit, brevi manu, my sight is somewhat troubled.

(Bella goes to the table to count the money while Stephen talks to himself in monosyllables. Zoe bounds over to the table. Kitty leans over Zoe's neck. Lynch gets up, rights his cap and, clasping Kitty's waist, adds his head to the group.)

FLORRY (Strives heavily to rise.) Ow! My foot's asleep. (She limps over to the table. Bloom approaches.)

BELLA, ZOE. KITTY, LYNCH, BLOOM (Chattering and squabbling.) The gentleman... ten shillings... paying for the three allow me a moment... this gentleman pays separate who's touching it?... ow... mind who you're pinching... are you staying the night or a short time? who did?... you're a liar, excuse me... the gentle man paid down like a gentleman... drink... it's long after eleven.

STEPHEN (At the pianola, making a gesture of abhorrence¹¹⁴⁷.) No bottles! What, eleven? A riddle⁶³⁰.

ZOE (Lifting up her pettigown and folding a half sovereign into the top of her stocking.) Hard earned on the flat of my back.

LYNCH (Lifting Kitty from the table.) Come!

KITTY Wait. (She clutches the two crowns.)

FLORRY And me?

LYNCH Hoopla! (He lifts her carries her and bumps her down on the sofa.)

STEPHEN The fox crew, the cocks flew, The bells in heaven Were striking eleven. 'Tis time for her poor soul To get out of heaven.

BLOOM (Quietly lays a half sovereign on the table between Bella and Florry.) So. Allow me. (He takes up the pound note.) Three times ten. We're square.

BELLA (Admiringly.) You're such a slyboots, old cocky. I could kiss you.

ZOE (Points.) Hum? Deep as a drawwell. (Lynch bends Kitty back over the sofa and kisses her. Bloom goes with the poundnote to Stephen.)

BLOOM This is yours.

STEPHEN How is that? Le distrait¹¹⁴⁸ or absentminded beggar. (He fumbles again in his pocket and draws out a handful of coins. An object falls.) That fell.

BLOOM (Stooping, picks up and hands a box of matches.) This.

STEPHEN Lucifer. Thanks.

BLOOM (Quietly.) You had better hand over that cash to me to take care of. Why pay more?

STEPHEN (Hands him all his coins.) Be just before you are generous.

BLOOM I will but is it wise? (He counts.) One, seven, eleven, and five. Six. Eleven. I don't answer for what you may have lost.

STEPHEN Why striking eleven? Proparoxyton. Moment before the next Lessing says. Thirsty fox. (He laughs loudly.) Burying his grandmother. Probably he killed her.

BLOOM That is one pound six and eleven. One pound seven, say.

STEPHEN Doesn't matter a rambling¹¹⁴⁹ damn.

BLOOM No, but...

STEPHEN (Comes to the table.) Cigarette, please. (Lynch tosses a cigarette from the sofa to the table.) And so Georgina Johnson is dead and married. (A cigarette appears on the table. Stephen looks at it.) Wonder. Parlour magic. Married. Hm. (He strikes a match and proceeds to light the cigarette with enigmatic melancholy.)

LYNCH (Watching him.) You would have a better chance of lighting¹¹⁵⁰ it if you held the match nearer.

STEPHEN (Brings the match nearer his eye.) Lynx eye. Must get glasses. Broke them yesterday. Sixteen years ago. Distance. The eye sees all flat. (He draws the match away. It goes out.) Brain thinks. Near: far. Ineluctable modality of the visible. (He frowns mysteriously.) Hm. Sphinx. The beast that has two backs at midnight. Married.

ZOE It was a commercial traveller married her and took her away with him.

FLORRY (Nods.) Mr Lambe from London.

STEPHEN Lamb of London, who takest away the sins of our world.

LYNCH (Embracing Kitty on the sofa, chants deeply.) Dona nobis pacem. (The cigarette slips from Stephens fingers. Bloom picks it up and throws it into the grate.)

BLOOM Don't smoke. You ought to eat. Cursed dog I met. (To Zoe.) You have nothing?

ZOE Is he hungry?

STEPHEN (Extends his hand to her smiling and chants to the air of the bloodoath in the Dusk of the Gods.)

Hangende Hunger,
Fragende Frau,
Macht uns alle kaput.
ZOE (Tragically.) Hamlet, I am thy father's gimlet! (She takes his hand.) Blue eyed beauty, I'll read your hand. (She points to his forehead.) No wit, no wrinkles. (She counts.) Two, three, Mars, that's courage. (Stephen shakes his head.) No kid.
LYNCH Sheet lightning courage. The youth who could not shiver and shake. (To Zoe.) Who taught you palmistry?

ZOE (Turns.) Ask my ballocks that I haven't got. (To Stephen.) I see it in your face. The eye, like that. (She frowns with lowered head.)

LYNCH (Laughing, slaps Kitty behind twice.) Like that. Pandy bat.

(Twice loudly a pandybat cracks, the coffin¹⁰⁸¹ of the pianola flies open, the bald little round jack-in-the-box head of Father Dolan springs up.)

FATHER DOLAN Any boy want flogging? Broke his glasses? Lazy idle little schemer. See it in your eye.

(Mild, benign¹¹⁵², rectorial, reproving, the head of Don John Conmee rises from the pianola coffin.)

DON JOHN CONMEE Now, Father Dolan! Now. I'm sure that Stephen is a very good little boy.

ZOE (Examining Stephen's palm.) Woman's hand.

STEPHEN (Murmurs.) Continue. Lie. Hold me. Caress⁵⁸⁰. I never could read His handwriting except His criminal thumbprint on the haddock.

ZOE What day were you born?

STEPHEN Thursday. Today.

ZOE Thursday's child has far to go. (She traces lines on his hand.) Line of fate. Influential¹¹⁵³ friends.

FLORRY (Pointing.) Imagination.

ZOE Mount of the moon. You'll meet with a... (She peers at his hands abruptly.) I won't tell you what's not good for you. Or do you want to know?

BLOOM (Detaches her fingers and offers his palm.) More harm than good. Here. Read mine.

BELLA Show. (She turns up Bloom's hand.) I thought so. Knobby knuckles¹¹⁵⁴, for the women.

ZOE (Peering at Bloom's palm.) Gridiron. Travels beyond the sea and marry money.

BLOOM Wrong.

ZOE (Quickly.) O, I see. Short little finger. Henpecked husband. That wrong?

(Black Liz, a huge rooster hatching in a chalked circle, rises, stretches her wings and clucks.)

BLACK LIZ Gara. Klook. Klook. Klook.

(She sidles from her newlaid egg and waddles¹⁰³⁹ off.)

BLOOM (Points to his hand.) That weal there is an accident. Fell and cut it twenty-two years ago. I was sixteen.

ZOE I see, says the blind man. Tell us news.

STEPHEN See? Moves to one great goal. I am twenty two too. Sixteen years ago I twentytwo tumbled, twentytwo years ago he sixteen fell off his hobbyhorse. (He winces.) Hurt my hand somewhere. Must see a dentist. Money?

(Zoe whispers to Florry. They giggle¹¹⁵⁵. Bloom releases his hand and writes idly on the table in backhand, pencilling slow curves.)

FLORRY What?

(A hackneycar number three hundred and twentyfour, with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots¹¹⁵⁶ past. Blazes Boylan and Lenehan sprawl swaying on the sideseats. The Ormond boots crouches behind on the axle. Sadly over the crossblind Lydia Douce and Mina Kennedy gaze.)

THE BOOTS (Jogging, mocks them with thumb and wriggling wormfingers.) Haw, haw, have you the horn?

(Bronze by gold they whisper.)

ZOE (To Florry.) Whisper.

(They whisper again.)

(Over the well of the car Blazes Boylan leans, his boater straw set sideways, a red flower in his mouth. Lenehan, in a yachtsman's cap and white shoes, officiously detaches a long hair from Blazes Boylan s shoulder.)

LENEHAN Ho! What do I here behold¹¹⁵⁷? Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few quims?

BOYLAN (Seated, smiles.) Plucking a turkey.

LENEHAN A good night's work.

BOYLAN (Holding up four thick bluntungulated fingers, winks.) Blazes Kate! Up to sample or your money back. (He holds out a forefinger.) Smell that.

LENEHAN (Smells gleefully.) Ah! Lobster¹¹⁵⁸ and mayonnaise. Ah!

ZOE AND FLORRY (Laugh together.) Ha ha ha ha.

BOYLAN bumps surely from the car and calls loudly for all to hear. ) Hello, Bloom! Mrs Bloom up yet?

BLOOM (In a flunkey's plum plush coat and kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig.) I'm afraid not, sir, the last articles...

BOYLAN (Tosses him sixpence.) Here, to buy yourself a gin and splash. (He hangs his hat smartly on a peg³³⁹ of Bloom's antlered head.) Show me in. I have a little private business with your wife. You understand?

BLOOM Thank you, sir. Yes, sir, Madam Tweedy is in her bath, sir.

MARION He ought to feel himself highly honoured. (She plops splashing out of the water.) Raoul, darling, come and dry me. I'm in my pelt¹¹⁵⁹. Only my new hat and a carriage sponge.

BOYLAN (A merry twinkle in his eye.) Topping!

BELLA What? What is it?

(Zoe whispers to her.)

MARION Let him look, the pishogue! Pimp! And scourge himself! I'll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt.

BELLA (Laughing.) Ho ho ho ho.

BOYLAN (To Bloom, over his shoulder.) You can apply your eye to the keyhole and play with yourself while I just go through her a few times.

BLOOM Thank you, sir, I will, sir. May I bring two men chums to witness the deed and take a snapshot? (He holds an ointment¹¹⁶⁰ jar.) Vaseline, sir? Orangeflower?... Lukewarm water?...

KITTY (From the sofa.) Tell us, Florry. Tell us. What.

(Florry whispers to her. Whispering lovewords murmur lip-lapping loudly, poppysmic plopslop.)

MINA KENNEDY (Her eyes upturned.) O, it must be like the scent of geraniums and lovely peaches! O, he simply idolises every bit of her! Stuck together! Covered with kisses!

LYDIA DOUCE (Her mouth opening.) Yumyum. O, he's carrying her round the room doing it! Ride a cock horse. You could hear them in Paris and New York. Like mouthfuls of strawberries and cream.

KITTY (Laughing.) Hee hee hee.

BOYLAN'S VOICE (Sweetly, hoarsely, in the pit of his stomach.) Ah! Gooblazqruk brukarchkrasht!

MARION'S VOICE (Hoarsely, sweetly rising to her throat.) O! Weeshwashtkissima, pooisthnapoohuck!

BLOOM (His eyes wildly dilated¹¹⁶¹, clasps himself) Show! Hide! Show! Plough her! More! Shoot!

BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY. KITTY Ho ho! Ha ha! Hee hee!

LYNCH (Points.) The mirror up to nature. (He laughs.) Hu hu hu hu hu hu.

(Stephen and Bloom gaze in the mirror. The face of William Shakespeare, beardless, appears there, rigid in facial paralysis¹¹⁶², crowned by the reflection of the reindeer¹¹⁶³ antlered hatrack in the hall.)

SHAKESPEARE (In dignified¹¹⁶⁴ ventriloquy.) 'Tis the loud laugh bespeaks¹¹⁶⁵ the vacant mind. (To Bloom.) Thou thoughtest as how thou wastest invisible. Gaze. (He crows with a black capon's laugh.) Iagogo! How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymomun. Iagogogo!

BLOOM (Smiles yellowly at the whores.) When will I hear the joke?

ZOE Before you're twice married and once a widower.

BLOOM Lapses are condoned¹¹⁶⁶. Even the great Napoleon, when measurements were taken near the skin after his death...

(Mrs Dignam, widow woman, her snubnose and cheeks flushed with deathtalk, tears and Tunny's tawny sherry, hurries by in her weeds, her bonnet¹¹⁶⁷ awry¹¹⁶⁸, rouging¹¹⁶⁹ and powdering her cheeks, lips and nose, a pen chivvying her brood of cygnets. Beneath her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and turnedup boots, lace eights. She holds a Scottish widow's insurance policy and lace marqueeumbrella under which her brood runs with her, Patsy hopping³⁷⁸ on one short foot, his collar loose, a hank of porksteaks dangling, Freddy whimpering, Susy with a crying cods¹¹⁷⁰ mouth, Alice struggling with the baby. She cuffs⁴⁶⁰ them on, her streamers flaunting¹¹⁷¹ aloft.)

FREDDY Ah, ma, you're dragging me along!

SUSY Mamma, the beeftea is fizzing over!

SHAKESPEARE (With paralytic¹¹⁷² rage.) Weda seca whokilla farst.

(The face of Martin Cunningham, bearded, refeatures Shakespeares beardless face. The marqueeumbrella sways drunkenly, the children run aside. Under the umbrella appears Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and kimono gown. She glides sidling and bowing, twisting japanesily.)

MRS CUNNINGHAM (Sings.) And they call me the jewel of Asia.

MARTIN CUNNINGHAM

(Gazes on her impassive.) Immense! Most bloody awful demirep!

STEPHEN Et exaltabuntur cornua iusti. Queens lay with prize bulls. Remember Pasiphae for whose lust my grandoldgross father made the first confessionbox. Forget not Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions¹¹⁷³ of the house of Lambert. And Noah was drunk with wine. And his ark was open.

BELLA None of that here. Come to the wrong shop.

LYNCH Let him alone. He's back from Paris.

ZOE (Runs to Stephen and links him.) O go on! Give us some parleyvoo.

(Stephen claps hat on head and leaps over to the fireplace, where he stands with shrugged¹¹⁷⁴ shoulders, finny hands outspread, a painted smile on his face.)

LYNCH (Pommelling on the sofa.) Rmm Rmm Rmm Rrr rrrmmmmm.

STEPHEN (Gobbles, with marionette jerks. ) Thousand places of entertainment to expenses your evenings with lovely ladies saling gloves and other things perhaps her heart beerchops perfect fashionable house very eccentric where lots cocottes beautiful dressed much about princesses like are dancing cancan and walking there parisian clowneries extra foolish for bachelors foreigns the same if talking a poor english how much smart they are on things love and sensations voluptuous¹¹⁷⁵. Misters very selects for is pleasure must to visit heaven and hell show with mortuary candles and they tears silver which occur every night. Perfectly shocking terrific of religion's things mockery seen in universal world. All chic¹¹⁷⁶ womans which arrive full of modesty then disrobe and squeal⁹³¹ loud to see vampire¹¹⁷⁷ man debauch⁷²² nun very fresh young with dessous troublants. (He clocks his tongue loudly.) Ho, la la! Ce pif qu'il a!

LYNCH Vive le vampire!

THE WHORES Bravo! Parleyvoo!

STEPHEN (Grimacing with head back, laughs loudly, clapping himself) Great success of laughing. Angels much prostitutes like and holy apostles big damn ruffians. Demimondaines nicely handsome sparkling of diamonds very amiable¹¹⁷⁸ cos turned. Or do you are fond better what belongs they moderns pleasure turpitude¹¹⁷⁹ of old mans? (He points about him with grotesque gestures which Lynch and the whores reply to.) Caoutchouc statue woman reversible or lifesize tompeeptoms virgins nudities very lesbic the kiss five ten times. Enter gentlemen to see in mirrors every positions trapezes all that machine there besides also if desire act awfully bestial¹¹⁸⁰ butcher's boy pollutes in warm veal⁵⁰⁴ liver or omelette on the belly pièce de Shakespeare.

BELLA (Clapping her belly, sinks back on the sofa with a shout of laughter.) An omelette on the... Ho! ho! ho! ho!... Omelette on the...

STEPHEN (Mincingly.) I love you, Sir darling. Speak you englishman tongue for double entente¹¹⁸¹ cordiale. O yes, mon loup. How much cost? Waterloo. Watercloset. (He ceases suddenly and holds up a forefinger.)

BELLA (Laughing.) Omelette...

THE WHORES (Laughing.) Encore! Encore!

STEPHEN Mark me. I dreamt of a watermelon.

ZOE Go abroad and love a foreign lady.

LYNCH Across the world for a wife.

FLORRY Dreams go by contraries.

STEPHEN (Extending his arms.) It was here. Street of harlots. In Serpentine¹¹⁸² Avenue Beelzebub showed me her, a fubsy widow. Where's the red carpet spread?

BLOOM (Approaching Stephen.) Look.

STEPHEN No, I flew. My foes¹¹⁸³ beneath me. And ever shall be. World without end. (He cries.) Pater! Free!

BLOOM I say, look...

STEPHEN Break my spirit, will he? O merde alors! (He cries, his vulture talons sharpened.) Hola! Hillyho!

(Simon Dedalus' voice hilloes in answer, somewhat sleepy but ready.)

SIMON That's all right. (He swoops¹¹⁸⁴ uncertainly through the air, wheeling, uttering cries of heartening, on strong ponderous¹¹⁸⁵ buzzard wings.) Ho, boy! Are you going to win? Hoop! Pschatt! Stable with those halfcastes. Wouldn't let them within the bawl¹¹⁸⁶ of an ass. Head up! Keep our flag flying! An eagle gules volant in a field argent displayed. Ulster king at arms! hai hoop! (He makes the beagle's call giving tongue.) Bulbul! Burblblbrurblbl! Hai, boy!

(The fronds⁸⁰³ and spaces of the wallpaper file rapidly across country. A stout fox drawn from covert¹¹⁸⁷, brush pointed, having buried his grandmother, runs swift for the open, bright-eyed, seeking badger⁴¹⁹ earth, under the leaves. The pack of staghounds follows, nose to the ground, sniffing their quarry¹¹⁸⁸, beaglebaying, burblbrblng to be blooded. Ward Union huntsmen and huntswomen live with them, hot for a kill. From Six Mile Point, Flathouse, Nine Mile Stone follow the footpeople with knotty sticks, salmongaffs, lassos, flockmasters with stockwhips, bearbaiters with tomtoms, toreadors with bullswords, grey negroes waving torches. The crowd bowls of dicers, crown and anchor players, thimbleriggers, broadsmen. Crows and touts¹¹⁸⁹, hoarse bookies in high wizard hats clamour deafeningly.)

THE CROWD

Card of the races. Racing¹¹⁵¹ card!
Ten to one the field!
Tommy on the clay here!
Tommy on the clay!
Ten to one bar one.
Ten to one bar one.
Try your luck on spinning Jenny!
Ten to one bar one!
Sell the monkey, boys!
Sell the monkey!
I'll give ten to one!
Ten to one bar one!
(A dark horse, riderless, bolts like a phantom past the winningpost, his mane moonfoaming, his eyeballs stars. The field follows, a bunch of bucking mounts. Skeleton horses: Sceptre, Maximum the Second, Zinfandel, the Duke of Westminsters Shotover, Repulse¹¹⁹⁰, the Duke of Beauforts' Ceylon, prix de Paris. Dwarfs¹¹⁹¹ ride them, rusty armoured, leaping, leaping in their saddles. Last in a drizzle of rain, on a broken-winded isabelle nag⁵⁹, Cock of the North, the favourite, honey cap, green jacket, orange sleeves, Garrett Deasy up, gripping the reins¹¹⁹³, a hockey stick at the ready. His nag, stumbling on whitegaitered feet, jogs along the rocky road.)
THE ORANGE LODGES (Jeering.) Get down and push, mister. Last lap! You'll be home the night!

GARRETT DEASY (Bolt upright, his nailscraped face plastered with postage stamps, brandishes¹¹⁹⁴ his hockeystick, his blue eyes flashing in the prism of the chandelier as his mount lopes by at a schooling¹¹⁹⁵ gallop.) Per vias rectas!

(A yoke of buckets leopards²⁶⁴ all over him and his rearing nag, a torrent¹¹⁹⁶ of mutton broth²¹⁹ with dancing coins of carrots, barley¹¹⁹⁷, onions, turnips¹¹⁹⁸, potatoes.)

THE GREEN LODGES Soft day, sir John! Soft day, your honour!

(Private Carr, Private Compton and Cissy Caffrey pass beneath the windows, singing in discord¹¹⁹⁹.)

STEPHEN Hark! Our friend, noise in the street!

ZOE (Holds up her hand.) Stop!

PRIVATE CARR, PRIVATE COMPTON and CISSY CAFFREY

Yet I've a sort a
Yorkshire relish¹²⁰⁰ for...
ZOE That's me. (She claps her hands.) Dance! Dance! (She runs to the pianola.) Who has twopence?
BLOOM Who'll.

LYNCH (Handing her coins.) Here.

STEPHEN (Cracking his fingers impatiently.) Quick! Quick! Where's my augur's rod? (He runs to the piano and takes his ashplant, beating his foot in tripudium.)

ZOE (Turns the drumhandle.) There.

(She drops two pennies in the slot. Glow pink and violet lights start forth. The drum turns purring in low hesitation¹²⁰¹ waltz. Professor Goodwin, in a bowknotted periwig, in court dress, wearing a stained inverness cape³⁷, bent in two from incredible age, totters¹²⁰² across the room, his hands fluttering. He sits tinily on the piano stool and lifts and beats handless sticks of arms on the keyboard, nodding with damsels grace, his bowknot bobbing.)

ZOE (Twirls around herself heeltapping.) Dance. Anybody here for there? Who'll dance?

(The pianola, with changing lights, plays in waltz time the prelude¹²⁰³ to My Girl's a Yorkshire Girl. Stephen throws his ashplant on the table and seizes Zoe around the waist. Florry and Bella push the table towards the fireplace. Stephen, aiming Zoe with exaggerated grace, begins to waltz her around the room. Her sleeve, falling from gracing arms, reveals a white fleshflower of vaccination¹²⁰⁴. Bloom stands aside. Between the curtains, Professor Maginni inserts a leg on the toepoint of which spins a silk hat. With a deft⁵⁸² kick, he sends it spinning to his crown and jauntyhatted skates in. He wears a slate¹²⁰⁶ frockcoat with claret silk lapels, a go-et of cream tulle, a green lowcut waistcoat, stock collar with white kerchief tight lavender trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves. In his buttonhole is a dahlia. He twirls in reversed directions a clouded cane⁵³⁰, then wedges it tight in his oxter. He places a hand limply on his breastbone, bows and fondles his flower and buttons.)

MAGINNI The poetry of motion, art of callisthenics. No connection with Madam Legget Byrne's or Levinstone's. Fancy dress balls arranged. Deportment. The Katty Lanner steps. So. Watch me! My terpsichorean¹²⁰⁷ abilities. (He minuets forward three paces on tripping bee's feet.) Tout²⁸⁶ le monde an avant! Révérence! Tout le monde en place!

(The prelude ceases. Professor Goodwin, beating vague arms,shrivels, shrinks, his live cape falling about the stool. The air, in firmer waltz time, pounds. Stephen and Zoe circle freely. The lights change, glow, fade, gold, rose, violet.)

THE PIANOLA Two young fellows were talking about their girls, girls, girls, Sweethearts they'd left behind.

(From a corner the morning hours run out, goldhaired, slim, in girlish blue, waspwaisted, with innocent hands. Nimbly they dance, twirling their skipping ropes. The hours of noon follow in amber gold. Laughing linked, high haircombs flashing, they catch the sun in mocking mirrors, lifting their arms.)

MAGINNI (Clipclaps glovesilent hands.) Carré! Avant deux! Breathe evenly! Balance!

(The morning and noon hours waltz in their places, turning, advancing to each other, shaping their curves, bowing vis a vis. Cavaliers behind them arch and suspend their arms, with hands descending¹²⁰⁸ to, touching, rising from their shoulders.)

HOURS You may touch my.

CAVALIERS May I touch your?

HOURS O, but lightly!

CAVALIERS O, so lightly!

THE PIANOLA My little shy little lass has a waist.

(Zoe and Stephen turn boldly with looser swing. The twilight¹²⁰⁹ hours advance, from long landshadows, dispersed¹²¹⁰, lagging, languideyed, their cheeks delicate with cipria and false faint bloom. They are in grey gauze with dark bat sleeves that flutter in the land breeze.)

MAGINNI Avant! huit! Traversé! Salut! Cours de mains! Croisé!

(The eight hours steal to the last place. Morning, noon and twilight hours retreat before them. They are masked, with daggered hair and bracelets of dull bells. Weary, they curchycurchy under veils.)

THE BRACELETS Heigho! Heigho!

ZOE (Twisting, her hand to her brow.) O!

MAGINNI Los tiroirs! Cha?ne de dames! La corbeille! Dos à dos!

(Arabesquing wearily, they weave a pattern on the floor, weaving, unweaving, curtseying, twisting, simply swirling.)

ZOE I'm giddy.

(She frees herself droops on a chair, Stephen seizes Florry and turns with her.)

MAGINNI Boulangère! Los ronds! Los ponts! Chevaux de bois! Escargots!

(Twining, receding, with interchanging hands, the night hours link, each with arching arms, in a mosaic of movements. Stephen and Florry turn cumbrously.)

MAGINNI Dansez avec vos dames! Changes de dames! Donnes le petit bouquet¹²¹² a votre dame! Remerciez!

THE PIANOLA

Best, best of all,
Baraabum!
KITTY (Jumps up.) O, they played that on the hobbyhorses at the Mirus bazaar!
(She runs to Stephen. He leaves Florry brusquely and seizes Kitty. A screaming bit tern's harsh high whistle shrieks¹²¹³. Groangrousegurgling Toft's cumbersome¹²¹⁴ whirligig turns slowly the room right roundabout the room.)

THE PIANOLA My girl's a Yorkshire girl.

ZOE Yorkshire through and through. Come on all!

(She seizes Florry and waltzes her.)

STEPHEN Pas seul!

(He wheels Kitty into Lynch's arm's, snatches up his ashplant from the table and takes the floor. All wheel, whirl, waltz, twirl. Bloombella, Kittylynch, Florryzoe, jujuby women. Stephen with hat ashplant frogsplits in middle highkicks with skykicking mouth shut hand clasp part under thigh, with clang tinkle¹²¹⁵ boomhammer tallyho horn blower blue green yellow flashes. Toft's cumbersome turns with hobbyhorse riders from gilded snakes dangled¹²¹⁶, bowels¹²¹⁷ fandango leaping spurn¹²¹⁸ soil foot and fall again.)

THE PIANOLA

Though she's a factory lass
And wears no fancy clothes.
(Closeclutched swift swifter with glareblareflare scudding¹²¹⁹ they scotlootshoot lumbering¹²²⁰ by. Baraabum!)
TUTTI Encore! Bis! Bravo! Encore!

SIMON Think of your mother's people!

STEPHEN Dance of death.

(Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, horse, nag, steer⁹⁵⁸ piglings, Conmee on Christass lame crutch and leg sailor in cockboat armfolded ropepulling hitching¹²²¹ stamp hornpipe' through and through, Baraabum! On nags¹²²², hogs¹²²³, bellhorses, Gadarene swine, Corny in coffin. Steel shark stone one handled Nelson, two trickies Frauenzimmer plumstained from pram¹²²⁴ falling bawling¹²²⁵. Gum, he's a champion. Fuseblue peer from barrel rev⁵⁵. evensong love on hackney jaunt¹²⁰⁵ Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes. Then in last wiswitchback lumbering up and down bump mash¹¹⁴⁵ tub sort of viceroy and reine relish for tublumber bumpshire rose. Baraabum!)

(The couples fall aside. Stephen whirls giddily. Room whirls back. Eyes closed, he totters. Red rails fly spacewards. Stars all around suns turn roundabout. Bright midges dance on wall. He stops dead.)

STEPHEN Ho!

(Stephen's mother, emaciated¹²²⁶, rises stark⁵⁰⁹ through the floor in leper grey with a wreath of faded orange blossoms and a torn bridal veil, her face worn and noseless, green with grave mould. Her hair is scant¹⁰⁵⁹ and lank¹²²⁷. She fixes her bluecircled hollow eyesockets on Stephen and opens her toothless mouth uttering a silent word. A choir of virgins and confessors sing voicelessly.)

THE CHOIR

Liliata rutilantium te confessorum...
Iubilantium te virginum...
(From the top of a tower Buck Mulligan, in particoloured jester's dress of puce and yellow and clown's cap with curling bell, stands gaping at her, a smoking buttered split scone¹²²⁸ in his hand.)
BUCK MULLIGAN She's beastly dead. The pity of it! Mulligan meets the afflicted¹²²⁹ mother. (He upturns¹²³⁰ his eyes.) Mercurial³³⁴ Malachi.

THE MOTHER (With the subtle smile of death's madness.) I was once the beautiful May Goulding. I am dead.

STEPHEN (Horrorstruck.) Lemur, who are you? What bogey¹²³¹ man's trick is this?

BUCK MULLIGAN (Shakes his curling capbell.) The mockery of it! Kinch killed her dogsbody bitchbody. She kicked the bucket. (Tears of molten butter fall from his eyes into the scone.) Our great sweet mother! Epi oinopa ponton.

THE MOTHER (Comes nearer, breathing upon him softly her breath of wetted ashes.) All must go through it, Stephen. More women than men in the world. You too. Time will come.

STEPHEN (Choking with fright, remorse¹²³² and horror.) They said I killed you, mother. He offended your memory. Cancer did it, not I. Destiny.

THE MOTHER (A green rill of bile trickling¹²³³ from a side of her mouth.) You sang that song to me. Love's bitter mystery.

STEPHEN (Eagerly.) Tell me the word, mother, if you know now. The word known to all men.

THE MOTHER Who saved you the night you jumped into the train at Dalkey with Paddy Lee? Who had pity for you when you were sad among the strangers? Prayer is all powerful. Prayer for the suffering souls in the Ursuline manual, and forty days' indulgence. Repent⁷⁷⁶, Stephen.

STEPHEN The ghoul! Hyena!

THE MOTHER I pray for you in my other world. Get Dilly to make you that boiled rice every night after your brain work. Years and years I loved you, O my son, my firstborn, when you lay in my womb.

ZOE (Fanning herself with the grate fan.) I'm melting!

FLORRY (Points to Stephen) Look! He's white.

BLOOM (Goes to the window to open it more.) Giddy.

THE MOTHER (With smouldering eyes.) Repent! O, the fire of hell!

STEPHEN (Panting.) The corpsechewer! Raw head and bloody bones!

THE MOTHER (Her face drawing near and nearer, sending out an ashen breath.) Beware! (She raises her blackened, withered¹²³⁴ right arm slowly towards Stephen's breast with outstretched fingers.) Beware! God's hand! (A green crab with malignant¹²³⁵ red eyes sticks deep its grinning claws in Stephen's heart.)

STEPHEN (Strangled with rage.) Shite! (His features grow drawn and grey and old.)

BLOOM (At the window.) What?

STEPHEN Ah non, par⁵⁴ exemple! The intellectual imagination! With me all or not at all. Non serviam!

FLORRY Give him some cold water. Wait. (She rushes out.)

THE MOTHER (Wrings her hands slowly, moaning desperately.) O Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on him! Save him from hell, O divine Sacred Heart!

STEPHEN No! No! No! Break my spirit all of you if you can! I'll bring you all to heel!

THE MOTHER (In the agony of her deathrattle.) Have mercy on Stephen, Lord, for my sake! Inexpressible was my anguish¹²³⁷ when expiring with love, grief and agony on Mount Calvary.

STEPHEN Nothung!

(He hits his ashplant high with both hands and smashes the chandelier. Time's livid final flame leaps and, in the following darkness, ruin of all space, shattered glass and toppling masonry¹²³⁸.)

THE GASJET Pwfungg!

BLOOM Stop!

LYNCH (Rushes forward and seizes Stephen's hand.) Here! Hold on! Don't run amok!

BELLA Police!

(Stephen, abandoning his ashplant, his head and arms thrown back stark, beats the ground and flees from the room past the whores at the door.)
BELLA (Screams.) After him!

(The two whores rush to the halldoors. Lynch and Kitty and Zoe stampede from the room. They talk excitedly. Bloom follows, returns.)

THE WHORES (Jammed in the doorway, pointing.) Down there.

ZOE (Pointing.) There. There's something up.

BELLA Who pays for the lamp? (She seizes Bloom's coattail.) There. You were with him. The lamp's broken.

BLOOM (Rushes to the hall, rushes back.) What lamp, woman?

A WHORE He tore his coat.

BELLA (Her eyes hard with anger and cupidity¹²³⁹, points.) Who's to pay for that? Ten Shillings. You're a witness.

BLOOM (Snatches up Stephen's ashplant.) Me? Ten shillings? Haven't you lifted enough off him? Didn't he...

BELLA (Loudly.) Here, none of your tall talk. This isn't a brothel. A ten shilling house.

BLOOM (His hand under the lamp, pulls the chain. Pulling, the gasjet lights up a crushed mauve purple shade. He raises the ashplant.) Only the chimney's broken. Here is all he...

BELLA (Shrinks back and screams.) Jesus! Don't!

BLOOM (Warding off a blow.) To show you how he hit the paper. There's not a sixpenceworth of damage done. Ten shillings!

FLORRY (With a glass of water enters.) Where is he?

BELLA Do you want me to call the police?

BLOOM O, I know. Bulldog on the premises. But he's a Trinity student. Patrons of your establishment. Gentlemen that pay the rent. (He makes a masonic sign.) Know what I mean? Nephew of the vice-chancellor. You don't want a scandal.

BELLA (Angrily.) Trinity! Coming down here ragging after the boat races and paying nothing. Are you my commander here? Where is he? I'll charge him. Disgrace him, I will. (She shouts.) Zoe! Zoe!

BLOOM (Urgently.) And if it were your own son in Oxford! (Warningly.) I know.

BELLA (Almost speechless.) Who are you incog?

ZOE (In the doorway.) There's a row on.

BLOOM What? Where? (He throws a shilling on the table and shouts.) That's for the chimney. Where? I need mountain air. (He hurries out through the hall. The whores point. Florry follows, spilling water from her tilted tumbler. On the doorstep all the whores clustered talk volubly, pointing to the right where the fog has cleared off From the left arrives a jingling hackney car. It slows to in front of the house. Bloom at the halldoor perceives Corny Kelleher who is about to dismount from the car with two silent lechers. He averts¹²⁴⁰ his face. Bella from within the hall uses on her whores. They blow ickylickysticky yumyum kisses. Corny Kelleher replies with a ghostly lewd smile. The silent lechers turn to pay the jarvey. Zoe and Kitty still point right. Bloom, parting them swiftly, draws his caliph's hood¹⁷⁶ and poncho¹²⁴¹ and hurries down the steps with sideways face. Incog Haroun al Baschid, he flits behind the silent lechers and hastens on by the railings with fleet step of a pard strewing¹²⁴² the drag behind him, torn envelopes drenched¹²⁴³ in aniseed. The ashplant marks his stride. A pack of bloodhounds, led by Hornblower of Trinity brandishing¹²⁴⁴ a dogwhip in tallyho cap and an old pair of grey trousers, follows from far, picking up the scent, nearer, baying, panting, at fault, breaking away, throwing their tongues, biting his heels, leaping at his tail. He walks, runs, zigzags¹²⁴⁵, gallops¹²⁴⁶, lugs laid back. He is pelted¹²⁴⁷ with gravel²¹⁵, cabbagestumps, biscuitboxes, eggs, potatoes, dead codfish, womans slipperslappers. After him, freshfound, the hue⁹⁴² and cry zigzag gallops in hot pursuit of follow my leader: 65 C 66 C night watch, John Henry Menton, Wisdom Hely, V.B. Dillon, Councillor Nannetti, Alexander Keyes, Larry O'Rourke, Joe Cuffe, Mrs O'Dowd Pisser Burke, The Nameless One, Mrs Riordan, The Citizen, Garryowen, Whatdoyoucallhim, Strangeface, Fellowthatslike, Sawhimbefore, Chapwith, Chris Callinan, sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Lenehan, Bartell d'Arcy, Joe Hynes, red Murray, editor Brayden, T.M. Healy, Mr Justice Fitzgibbon, John Howard Parnell, the reverend Tinned Salmon, Professor Joly, Mrs Breen, Denis Breen, Theodore Purefoy, Mina Purefoy, the Westland Row postmistress, C.P. M'Coy, friend of Lyons, Hoppy Holohan, man in the street, other man in the street, Footballboots, pugnosed driver rich protestant lady, Davy Byrne, Mrs Ellen M'Guinness, Mrs Joe Gallaher George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry on corns, Superintendent¹²⁴⁸ Laracy, Father Cowley, Crofton out of the Collector Generals, Dan Dawson, dental surgeon Bloom with tweezers¹²⁴⁹, Mrs Bob Doran, Mrs Kennefick, Mrs Wyse Nolan, John Wyse Nolan, handsomemamedwomanrubbed againstwidebehindinClonskeatram, the bookseller of Sweets of Sin, Miss Dubedatandshedidbedad, Mesdames Gerald and Stanislaus Moran of Roebuck, the managing clerk of Drimmies colonel Hayes, Mastiansky, Citron, Penrose, Aaron Figatner, Moses Herzog, Michael E. Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Galbraith, the constable off Eccles Street corner old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the mystery man on the beach, a retriever Mrs Miriam Dandrade and all her lovers.

THE HUE AND CRY (Helterskelterelterwelter) He's Bloom! Stop Bloom! Stopabloom! Stopperrobber! Hi! Hi! Stop him on the corner!

(At the corner of Beaver Street beneath the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the fringe of the noisy quarrelling knot, a lot not knowing a jot¹²⁵⁰ what hi! hi! row and wrangle¹²⁵¹ round the whowhat brawlaltogether.)

STEPHEN (With elaborate gestures, breathing deeply and slowly.) You are my guests. The uninvited. By virtue of the fifth of George and seventh of Edward. History to blame. Fabled¹²⁵² by mothers of memory.

PRIVATE CARR (To Cissy Caffrey.) Was he insulting you?

STEPHEN Addressed her in vocative feminine. Probably neuter. Ungenitive.
VOICES No, he didn't. The girl's telling lies. He was in Mrs Cohen's. What's up? Soldiers and civilians¹²⁵³.

CISSY CAFFREY I was in company with the soldiers and they left me to do - you know and the young man ran up behind me. But I'm faithful to the man that's treating me though I'm only a shilling whore.

STEPHEN (Catches sight of Kitty's and Lynch's heads.) Hail, Sisyphus. (He points to himself and the others.) Poetic¹²⁵⁴. Neopoetic.

VOICES She's faithfultheman.

CISSY CAFFREY Yes, to go with him. And me with a soldier friend.

PRIVATE COMPTON He doesn't half want a thick ear, the blighter. Biff him one, Harry.

PRIVATE CARR (To Cissy.) Was he insulting you while me and him was having a piss?

LORD TENNYSON (In Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels¹²⁵⁶, bareheaded, flowingbearded.) Their's not to reason why.

PRIVATE COMPTON Biff him, Harry.

STEPHEN (To Private Compton. ) I don't know your name but you are quite right. Doctor Swift says one man in armour¹¹⁹² will beat ten men in their shirts. Shirt is synechdoche. Part for the whole.

CISSY CAFFREY (To the crowd.) No, I was with the private.

STEPHEN (Amiably.) Why not? The bold soldier boy. In my opinion every lady for example...

PRIVATE CARR (His cap awry, advancing to Stephen.) Say, how would it be, governor, if I was to bash in your jaw¹⁵⁴?

STEPHEN (Looks up in the sky.) How? Very unpleasant. Noble art of self-pretence. Personally, I detest¹²⁵⁷ action. (He waves his hand) Hand hurts me slightly. Enfin, ce sont vos oignons.

(To Cissy Caffrey.) Some trouble is on here. What is it, precisely¹²⁵⁸?

DOLLY GRAY (From her balcony waves her handkerchief giving the sign of the heroine of Jericho.) Rahab. Cook's son, goodbye. Safe home to Dolly. Dream of the girl you left behind and she will dream of you.

(The soldiers turn their swimming eyes.)

BLOOM (Elbowing through the crowd plucks Stephen's sleeve vigorously.) Come now, professor, that carman is waiting.

STEPHEN (Turns.) Eh? (He disengages himself) Why should I not speak to him or to any human being who walks upright upon this oblate orange? (He points his finger.) I'm not afraid of what I can talk to if I see his eye. Retaining the perpendicular¹²⁵⁹.

(He staggers a pace back.)

BLOOM (Propping him.) Retain your own.

STEPHEN (Laughs emptily.) My centre of gravity is displaced. I have forgotten the trick. Let us sit down somewhere and discuss. Struggle for life is the law of existence but modern philirenists, notably¹²⁶⁰ the tsar and the king of England, have invented arbitration¹²⁶¹. (He taps his brow.) But in here it is I must kill the priest and the king.

BIDDY THE CLAP Did you hear what the professor said? He's a professor out of the college.

CUNTY KATE I did. I heard that.

BIDDY THE CLAP He expresses himself with much marked refinement¹²⁶² of phraseology.

CUNTY KATE Indeed, yes. And at the same time with such apposite trenchancy¹²⁶³.

PRIVATE CARR (Pulls himself free and comes forward.) What's that you're saying about my king?

(Edward the Seventh appears in an archway. He wears a white jersey¹¹¹⁰ on which an image of the Sacred Heart is stitched, with the insignia of Garter and Thistle, Golden Fleece, Elephant of Denmark, Skinners' and Probyns' horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery¹²⁶⁴ company of Massachusetts. He sucks a red jujube. He is robed as a grand elect perfect and sublime mason with trowel and apron, marked made in Germany. In his left hand he holds a plasterers bucket on which is printed: Défense d'uriner. A roar of welcome greets him.)

EDWARD THE SEVENTH (Slowly, solemnly but indistinctly.) Peace, perfect peace. For identification bucket in my hand. Cheerio, boys. (He turns to his subjects.) We have come here to witness a clean straight fight and we heartily wish both men the best of good luck. Mahak makar a back.

(He shakes hands with Private Carr, Private Compton, Stephen, Bloom and Lynch. General applause. Edward the Seventh lifts the bucket graciously in acknowledgement.)

PRIVATE CARR (To Stephen.) Say it again.

STEPHEN (Nervous, friendly, pulls himself up.) I understand your point of view, though I have no king myself for the moment. This is the age of patent medicine. A discussion is difficult down here. But this is the point. You die for your country, suppose. (He places his arm on Private Carr's sleeve.) Not that I wish it for you. But I say: Let my country die for me. Up to the present it has done so. I don't want it to die. Damn death. Long live life!

EDWARD THE SEVENTH (Levitates over heaps of slain¹²⁶⁵ in the garb and with the halo of Joking Jesus, a white jujube in his phosphorescent face.)

My methods are new and are causing surprise.
To make the blind see I throw dust in their eyes.
STEPHEN Kings and unicorns¹²⁶⁶! (He falls back a pace.) Come somewhere and we'll... What was that girl saying?...
PRIVATE COMPTON Eh, Harry, give him a kick in the knackers. Stick one into Jerry.

BLOOM (To the privates, softly.) He doesn't know what he's saying. Taking a little more than is good for him. Absinthe, the greeneyed monster. I know him. He's a gentleman, a poet. It's all right.

STEPHEN (Nods, smiling and laughing.) Gentleman, patriot⁷⁰⁰, scholar and judge of impostors.

PRIVATE CARR I don't give a bugger who he is. PRIVATE COMPTON We don't give a bugger who he is.

STEPHEN I seem to annoy them. Green rag to a bull.

(Kevin Egan of Paris in black Spanish tasselled shirt and peep-o'-day boys hat signs to Stephen.)

KEVIN EGAN H'lo. Bonjour! The vieille ogresse with the dents⁸⁵⁶ jaunes.

(Patrice Egan peeps from behind, his rabbit face nibbling¹²⁶⁷ a quince leaf.)

PATRICE Socialiste!

DON EMILE PATRIZIO FRANZ RUPERT POPE HENNESSY (In medieval hauberk, two wild geese volant on his helm, with noble indignation points a mailed hand against the privates.) Were those eykes to footboden, big grand porcos of johnyellows todos covered of gravy!

BLOOM (To Stephen.) Come home. You'll get into trouble.

STEPHEN (Swaying.) I don't avoid it. He provokes my intelligence.

BIDDY THE CLAP One immediately observes that he is of patrician¹²⁶⁸ lineage.

THE VIRAGO Green above the red, says he. Wolfe Tone.

THE BAWD The red's as good as the green, and better. Up the soldiers! Up King Edward!

A ROUGH (Laughs.) Ay! Hands up to De Wet.

THE CITIZEN (With a huge emerald muffler and shillelagh, calls.)

May the God above
Send down a cove¹⁷²
With teeth as sharp as razors
To slit¹²⁶⁹ the throat
Of the English dogs
That hanged our Irish leaders.
THE CROPPY BOY (The rope noose¹²⁷⁰ round his neck, gripes in his issuing bowels with both hands.)
I bear no hate to a living thing,
But love my country beyond the king.
RUMBOLD, DEMON BARBER (Accompanied by two blackmasked assistants, advances with a gladstone bag which he opens.) Ladies and gents, cleaver¹²⁷¹ purchased by Mrs Pearcy to slay¹²⁷² Mogg. Knife with which Voisin dismembered the wife of a compatriot and hid remains¹²⁷³ in a sheet in the cellar, the unfortunate female's throat being cut from ear to ear. Phial containing arsenic retrieved¹²⁷⁴ from the body of Miss Barrow which sent Seddon to the gallows¹²⁷⁵.
(He jerks the rope, the assistants leap at the victims legs and drag him downward, grunting: the croppy boys tongue protrudes¹²⁷⁶ violently.)

THE CROPPY BOY Horhot ho hray ho rhother's hest.

(He gives up the ghost. A violent erection of the hanged sends gouts of sperm¹²⁷⁷ spouting¹²⁷⁸ through his death clothes on to the cobblestones. Mrs Bellingham, Mrs Yelverton Barry and the Honourable Mrs Mervyn Talboys rush forward with their handkerchiefs to sop⁷⁵ it up.)

RUMBOLD I'm near it myself. (He undoes¹²⁷⁹ the noose.) Rope which hanged the awful rebel. Ten shillings a time as applied¹²⁸⁰ to His Royal Highness. (He plunges his head into the gaping belly of the hanged and draws out his head again clotted¹²⁸¹ with coiled and smoking entrails.) My painful duty has now been done. God save the king!

EDWARD THE SEVENTH (Dances slowly, solemnly, rattling his bucket and sings with soft contentment.)

On coronation day, on coronation day,
O, Won't We have a merry time,
Drinking whisky, beer and wine!
PRIVATE CARR Here. What are you saying about my king?
STEPHEN (Throws up his hands.) O, this is too monotonous¹²⁸²! Nothing. He wants my money and my life, though want must be his master, for some brutish empire of his. Money I haven't. (He searches his pockets vaguely.) Gave it to someone.

PRIVATE CARR Who wants your bleeding money?

STEPHEN (Tries to move off.) Will some one tell me where I am least likely to meet these necessary evils? ?a se voit aussi à Paris. Not that I... But by Saint Patrick!...

(The women's heads coalesce¹²⁸³. Old Gummy Granny in sugarloaf hat appears seated on a toadstool, the deathflower of the potato blight¹²⁵⁵ on her breast.)

STEPHEN Aha! I know you, grammer! Hamlet, revenge! The old sow that eats her farrow!

OLD GUMMY GRANNY (Rocking to and fro.) Ireland's sweetheart, the king of Spain's daughter, alanna. Strangers in my house, bad manners to them! (She keens with banshee woe.) Ochone! Ochone! Silk of the kine! (She wails.) You met with poor old Ireland and how does she stand?

STEPHEN How do I stand you? The hat trick! Where's the third person of the Blessed Trinity? Soggarth Aroon? The reverend Carrion¹²⁸⁴ Crow.

CISSY CAFFREY (Shrill.) Stop them from fighting!

A ROUGH Our men retreated.

PRIVATE CARR (Tugging at his belt.) I'll wring¹²³⁶ the neck of any bugger says a word against my fucking king.

BLOOM (Terrified.) He said nothing. Not a word. A pure misunderstanding.

THE CITIZEN Erin go bragh!

(Major Tweedy and the Citizen exhibit to each other medals, decorations, trophies¹²⁸⁵ of war wounds. Both salute with fierce hostility¹²⁸⁶.)

PRIVATE COMPTON Go it, Harry. Do him one in the eye. He's a proboer.

STEPHEN Did I? When?

BLOOM (To the redcoats.) We fought for you in South Africa, Irish missile troops. Isn't that history? Royal Dublin Fusiliers. Honoured by our monarch¹²⁸⁷.

THE NAVVY (Staggering past.) O, yes. O, God, yes! O, make the kwawr a krowawr! O! Bo!

(Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted¹²⁸⁸ spear points. Major Tweedy, moustached like Turko the terrible, in bearskin cap with hackle plume and accoutrements, with epaulette, gilt chevrons¹²⁸⁹ and sabretache, his breast bright with medals, toes the line. He gives the pilgrim warrior's sign of the knights templars.)

MAJOR TWEEDY (Growls gruffly.) Rorke's Drift! Up, guards, and at them! Mahal shalal hashbaz.

PRIVATE CARR I'll do him in.

PRIVATE COMPTON (Waves the crowd back.) Fair play, here. Make a bleeding butcher's shop of the bugger.

(Massed bands blare Garryowen and God save the king.)

CISSY CAFFREY They're going to fight. For me!

CUNTY KATE The brave and the fair.

BIDDY THE CLAP Methinks yon sable knight will joust¹²⁹⁰ it with the best.

CUNTY KATE (Blushing deeply.) Nay, Madam. The gules doublet and merry Saint George for me!

STEPHEN The harlot's cry from street to street Shall weave old Ireland's windingsheet.

PRIVATE CARR (Loosening his belt, shouts.) I'll wring the neck of any fucking bastard says a word against my bleeding fucking king.

BLOOM (Shakes Cissy Caffrey's shoulders.) Speak, you! Are you struck dumb? You are the link between nations and generations. Speak, woman, sacred lifegiver.

CISSY CAFFREY (Alarmed seizes Private Carr's sleeve.) Amn't I with you? Amn't I your girl? Cissy's your girl. (She cries.) Police!

STEPHEN (Ecstatically, to Cissy Caffrey.)

White thy fambles, red thy gan
And thy quarrons dainty is.
VOICES Police!
DISTANT VOICES Dublin's burning! Dublin's burning! On fire, on fire!

(Brimstone fires spring up. Dense⁷²⁵ clouds roll past. Heavy Gatling guns boom. Pandemonium¹²⁹¹. Troops deploy⁶⁵⁹. Gallop of hoofs¹²⁹². Artillery. Hoarse commands. Bells clang. Backers shout. Drunkards bawl. Whores screech¹²⁹³. Foghorns hoot⁶⁰⁶. Cries of valour. Shrieks of dying. Pikes clash on cuirasses. Thieves rob the slain. Birds of prey⁴⁴⁴, winging from the sea, rising from marsh lands, swooping¹²⁹⁴ from eyries, hover¹²⁹⁵ screaming, gannets, connorants, vultures, goshawks, climbing woodcocks, peregrines, merlin, blackgrouse, sea eagles, gulls, albatrosses, barnacle geese. The midnight sun is darkened. The earth trembles. The dead of Dublin from Prospect¹²⁹⁶ and Mount Jerome in white sheepskin overcoats and black goat-fell cloaks arise and appear to many. A chasm¹²⁹⁷ opens with a noiseless yawn. Tom Rochford, winner in athletes singlet and breeches, arrives at the head of the national hurdle¹²⁹⁸ handicap and leaps into the void. He is followed by a race of runners and leapers. In wild attitudes they spring from the brink¹²⁹⁹. Their bodies plunge¹⁹⁷. Factory lasses with fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs. Society ladies lift their skirts above their heads to protect themselves. laughing witches in red cutty sarks ride through the air on broomsticks. Quakerlyster plasters blisters¹³⁰⁰. It rains dragon's teeth. Armed heroes spring up from furrows¹³⁰¹. They exchange in amity¹³⁰² the pass of knights of the red cross and fight duels¹³⁰³ with cavalry¹³⁰⁴ sabres: Wolfe Tone against Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, Michael Davitt against Isaac Butt, Justin M'Carthy against Parnell, Arthur Griffith against John Redmond John O'Leary against liar O'Johnny, lord Edward Fitzgerald against lord Gerald Fitzedward, The O'Donoghue of the Glens against The Glens of The Donoghue. On an eminence, the centre of the earth, rises the field altar of Saint Barbara. Black candles rise from its gospel and epistle horns. From the high barbicans of the tower two shafts¹³⁰⁵ of light fall on the smokepalled altarstone. On the altarstone Mrs Mina Purefoy, goddess of unreason, lies naked, fettered¹³⁰⁶, a chalice resting on her swollen belly. Father Malachi O'Flynn, in a long petticoat and reversed chasuble, his two left feet back to the front, celebrates camp mash. The Reverend Mr Hugh C. Haines love MA. in a plain cassock and mortar¹³⁰⁷ board, his head and collar back to the front, holds over the celebrants head an open umbrella.)

FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN Introibo ad altare diaboli.

THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE To the devil which hath made glad my young days.

FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN (Takes from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host.) Corpus Meum.

THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE (Raises high behind the celebrant's petticoats, revealing his grey bare hairy buttocks between which a carrot is stuck.) My body.

THE VOICE OF ALL THE DAMNED Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rot, Aiulella!

(From on high the voice of Adonai calls.)

ADONAI Dooooooooooog!

THE VOICE OF ALL THE BLESSED Alleluia, for the Lord God Omnipotent¹³⁰⁸ reigneth!

(From on high the voice of Adonai calls.)

ADONAI Goooooooooood!

(In strident discord peasants and townsmen of mange and Green factions¹³⁰⁹ sing Kick the Pope and Daily, daily sing to Mary.)

PRIVATE CARR (With ferocious¹⁰²² articulation¹³¹⁰.) I'll do him in, so help me fucking Christ! I'll wring the bastard fucker's bleeding blasted fucking windpipe!

OLD GUMMY GRANNY (Thrusts a dagger¹²¹¹ towards Stephen's hand.) Remove him, acushla. At 8.35 a.m. you will be in heaven and Ireland will be free. (She prays.) O good God, take him!

BLOOM (Runs to Lynch.) Can't you get him away?

LYNCH He likes dialectic, the universal language. Kitty! (To Bloom.) Get him away, you. He won't listen to me. (He drags Kitty away.)

STEPHEN (Points.) Exit Judas. Et laqueo se suspendit.

BLOOM (Runs to Stephen.) Come along with me now before worse happens. Here's your stick.

STEPHEN Stick, no. Reason. This feast of pure reason.

CISSY CAFFREY (Pulling Private Carr.) Come on, you're boosed. He insulted me but I forgive him. (Shouting in his ear.) I forgive him for insulting me.

BLOOM (Over Stephen's shoulder.) Yes, go. You see he's incapable¹³¹¹.

PRIVATE CARR (Breaks loose.) I'll insult him.

(He rushes towards Stephen, fists outstretched, and strikes him in the face. Stephen totters, collapses, falls stunned. He lies prone¹³¹², his face to the sky, his hat rolling to the wall. Bloom follows and picks it up.)

MAJOR TWEEDY (Loudly.) Carbine in bucket! cease fire! Salute!

THE RETRIEVER (Barking furiously.) Ute ute ute ute ute ute uteute.

THE CROWD Let him up! Don't strike him when he's down! Air! Who? The soldier hit him. He's a professor. Is he hurted? Don't manhandle him! He's fainted!

(The retriever, nosing on the fringe of the crowd, barks noisily.)

What call had the redcoat to strike the gentleman and he under the influence? Let them go and fight the Boers!

THE BAWD Listen to who's talking! Hasn't the soldier a right to go with his girl? He gave him the coward's blow.

(They grab at each other's hair, claw at each other and spit.)

THE RETRIEVER (Barking.) Wow wow wow.

BLOOM (Shoves them back, loudly.) Get back, stand back!

PRIVATE COMPTON (Tugging his comrade.) Here bugger off, Harry. There's the cops!

(Two raincaped watch, tall, stand in the group)

FIRST WATCH What's wrong here?

PRIVATE COMPTON We were with this lady and he insulted us and assaulted my chum. (The retriever barks.) Who owns the bleeding tyke?

CISSY CAFFREY (With expectation.) Is he bleeding?

A MAN (Rising from his knees.) No. Gone off. He'll come to all right.

BLOOM (Glances sharply at the man.) Leave him to me. I can easily...

SECOND WATCH Who are you? Do you know him?

PRIVATE CARR (Lurches towards the watch.) He insulted my lady friend.

BLOOM (Angrily.) You hit him without provocation¹³¹³. I'm a witness. Constable, take his regimental number.

SECOND WATCH I don't want your instructions in the discharge of my duty. PRIVATE COMPTON (Pulling his comrade.) Here, bugger off, Harry. Or Bennett'll have you in the lockup.

PRIVATE CARR (Staggering as he is pulled away.) God fuck old Bennett! He's a whitearsed bugger. I don't give a shit for him.

FIRST WATCH (Taking out his notebook.) What's his name?

BLOOM (Peering over the crowd.) I just see a car there. If you give me a hand a second, sergeant.

FIRST WATCH Name and address.

(Corny Kelleher weepers round his hat, a death wreath in his hand, appears among the bystanders.)

BLOOM (Quickly.) O, the very man! (He whispers.) Simon Dedalus' son. A bit sprung. Get those policemen to move those loafers back.

SECOND WATCH Night, Mr Kelleher.

CORNY KELLEHER (To the watch, with drawling eye.) That's all right. I know him. Won a bit on the races. Gold cup. Throwaway. (He laughs.) Twenty to one. Do you follow me?

FIRST WATCH (Turns to the crowd.) Here, what are you all gaping at? Move on out of that.

(The crowd disperses slowly, muttering, down the lane.)

CORNY KELLEHER Leave it to me, sergeant. That'll be all right. (He laughs, shaking his head.) We were often as bad ourselves, ay or worse. What? Eh, what?

FIRST WATCH (Laughs.) I suppose so.

CORNY KELLEHER (Nudges the second watch.) Come and wipe your name off the slate. (He lilts, wagging his head.) With my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom. What, eh, do you follow me?

SECOND WATCH (Genially.) Ah, sure we were too.

CORNY KELLEHER (Winking.) Boys will be boys. I've a car round there.

SECOND WATCH All right, Mr Kelleher. Good night.

CORNY KELLEHER I'll see to that.

BLOOM (Shakes hands with both of the watch in turn.) Thank you very much gentlemen, thank you. (He mumbles confidentially.) We don't want any scandal, you understand. Father is a well known, highly respected citizen. Just a little wild oats, you understand.

FIRST WATCH O, I understand, sir.

SECOND WATCH That's all right, Sir.

FIRST WATCH It was only in case of corporal injuries I'd have had to report it at the station.

BLOOM (Nods rapidly.) Naturally. Quite right. Only your bounden duty.

SECOND WATCH It's our duty.

CORNY KELLEHER Good night, men.

THE WATCH (Saluting together.) Night, gentlemen. (They move off with slow heavy tread.)

BLOOM (Blows.) Providential you came on the scene. You have a car?.

CORNY KELLEHER (Laughs, pointing his thumb over his right shoulder to the car brought up against the scaffolding.) Two commercials that were standing fizz in Jammet's. Like princes, faith. One of them lost two quid on the race. Drowning his grief and were on for a go with the jolly girls. So I landed them up on Behan's car and down to nighttown.

BLOOM I was just going home by Gardiner street when I happened to...

CORNY KELLEHER (Laughs.) Sure they wanted me to join in with the mots. No, by God, says I. Not for old stagers like myself and yourself. (He laughs again and leers with lacklustre eye.) Thanks be to God we have it in the house what, eh, do you follow me? Hah! hah! hah!

BLOOM (Tries to laugh.) He, he, he! Yes. Matter of fact I was just visiting an old friend of mine there, Virag, you don't know him (poor fellow he's laid up for the past week) and we had a liquor together and I was just making my way home...

(The horse neighs.)

THE HORSE Hohohohohohoh! Hohohohome!

CORNY KELLEHER Sure it was Behan, our jarvey there, that told me after we left the two commercials in Mrs Cohen's and I told him to pull up and got off to see. (He laughs.) Sober hearsedrivers a specialty¹³¹⁴. Will I give him a lift home? Where does he hang out? Somewhere in Cabra, what?

BLOOM No, in Sandycove, I believe, from what he let drop.

(Stephen, prone, breathes to the stars. Corny Kelleher asquint, drawls at the horse. Bloom in gloom, looms³⁰¹ down.)

CORNY KELLEHER (Scratches his nape.) Sandycove! (He bends down and calls to Stephen.) Eh! (He calls again.) Eh! He's covered with shavings anyhow. Take care they didn't lift anything off him.

BLOOM No, no, no. I have his money and his hat here and stick.

CORNY KELLEHER Ah well, he'll get over it. No bones broken. Well, I'll shove along. (He laughs.) I've a rendezvous¹³¹⁵ in the morning. Burying the dead. Safe home!

THE HORSE (Neighs.) Hohohohohome.

BLOOM Good night. I'll just wait and take him along in a few...

(Corny Kelleher returns to the outside car and mounts it. The horse harness jingles¹³¹⁶.)

CORNY KELLEHER (From the car, standing.) Night.

BLOOM Night.

(The jarvey chucks the reins and raises his whip encouragingly. The car and horse back slowly, awkwardly and turn. Corny Kelleher on the sideseat sways his head to and fro in sign of mirth at Blooms plight¹³¹⁷. The jarvey joins in the mute pantomimic merriment nodding from the farther seat. Bloom shakes his head in mute mirthful reply. With thumb and palm Corny Kelleher reassures¹³¹⁸ that the two bobbies will allow the sleep to continue for what else is to be done. With a slow nod Bloom conveys his gratitude¹³¹⁹ as that is exactly what Stephen needs. The car jingles tooraloom round the corner of the tooraloom lane. Corny Kelleher again reassuralooms with his hand. Bloom with his hand assuralooms Corny Kelleher that he is reassuraloomtay. The tinkling¹³²⁰ hoofs and jingling harness grow fainter with their tooralooloolooloo lay. Bloom, holding in his hand Stephens hat festooned with shavings and ashplant, stands irresolute¹³²¹. Then he bends to him and shakes him by the shoulder.)

BLOOM Eh! Ho! (There is no answer he bends again.) Mr Dedalus! (There is no answer.) The name if you call. Somnambulist. (He bends again and, hesitating, brings his mouth near the face of the prostrate¹³²² form.) Stephen! (There is no answer. He calls again.) Stephen!

STEPHEN (Groans.) Who? Black panther vampire. (He sighs and stretches himself then murmurs thickly with prolonged vowels¹³²³.) Who... drive... Fergus now. And pierce... wood's woven shade?...

(He turns on his left side, sighing, doubling himself together.)

BLOOM Poetry. Well educated. Pity. (He bends again and undoes the buttons of Stephen's waistcoat.) To breathe. (He brushes the wood shavings from Stephen's clothes with light hands and fingers.) One pound seven. Not hurt anyhow. (He listens.) What!

(Murmurs.)

... shadows... the woods
... white breast... dim...
(He stretches out his arms, sighs again and curls his body. Bloom holding his hat and ashplant stands erect. A dog barks in the distance. Bloom tightens¹³²⁴ and loosens his grip on the ashplant. He looks down on Stephen's face and form.)
BLOOM (Communes with the night.) Face reminds me of his poor mother. In the shady wood. The deep white breast. Ferguson, I think I caught. A girl. Some girl. Best thing could happen him... (He murmurs.)... swear that I will always hail, ever conceal¹³²⁵, never reveal, any part or parts, art or arts... (He murmurs.) in the rough sands of the sea. a cabletow's length from the shore... where the tide ebbs¹³²⁶ ... and flows...

(Silent, thoughtful, alert, he stands on guard, his fingers at his lips in the attitude of secret master. Against the dark wall a figure appears slowly, a fairy boy of eleven, a changeling, kidnapped, dressed in an Eton suit with glass shoes and a little bronze helmet, holding a book in his hand. He reads from right to left inaudibly, smiling, kissing the page.)

BLOOM (Wonderstruck, calls inaudibly.) Rudy!

RUDY (Gazes unseeing into Bloom's eyes and goes on reading, kissing, smiling. He has a delicate mauveface. On his suit he has diamond and ruby buttons. In his free left hand he holds a slim ivory cane with a violet howknot. A white lambkin peeps out of his waistcoat pocket.)

通向红灯区的马博特街口。路面未铺卵石，骨骼般的电车岔道伸向远方，沿线是像鬼火似的红绿信号灯和危险信号机。一排排简陋的房屋半敞着门。偶有灯火朦朦胧胧地映出彩虹般的扇形光环。一群矮小的男男女女围着停在这里的拉白奥蒂的平底船型冰淇淋车[1] ，争争吵吵。他们抓取夹有煤炭色[2]和紫铜色冰淇淋的薄脆饼。这些孩子们边嘬着，边缓缓地散去。平底车高高抬起鸡冠形天鹅头，穿过灯台下的黑暗前进，依稀浮现出蓝白两色。回荡着口哨的相互呼应声。）

呼声

等一等，亲爱的。我跟你一道去。

应答

到马棚后面来。

（一个又聋又哑的白痴鼓着金鱼眼，松弛的嘴巴淌着口水，因患舞踏病浑身发颤，趔趔趄趄地走过。孩子们手拉着手，把他圈在中间。）

孩子们

左撇子！敬礼！

白痴

（举起麻痹的左臂，发出咯咯声）金立！

孩子们

老爷儿哪儿去啦？

白痴

（结结巴巴地）施边儿。[3]

（他们放开了他。他打着趔趄往前走。一个侏儒女子在两道栏杆之间吊根绳子，坐在上面打秋千，口中数着数。一个男子趴在垃圾箱上，用胳膊和帽子掩着脸，移动一下[4]，呻吟，咯吱咯吱地磨牙齿，接着又打起呼噜。台阶上，一个到处掏垃圾的侏儒，蹲下身去，把一袋破布烂骨扛到肩上。一个老妪手执一盏满是油烟的煤油灯站在一旁，将她那最后一只瓶子塞进他的口袋。男子扛起猎物，将鸭舌帽拽歪，一声不响地蹒跚而去。老妪摇晃着灯，也回到自己的窝。一个罗圈腿娃娃手里拿着纸做的羽毛球，蹲在门口，跟在她后面使劲地横爬着，并抓住她的裙子往上攀。一个喝得醉醺醺的壮工双手握住地窖子前的栅栏，东倒西歪，踉踉跄跄地踱着。拐角处，两个披着短斗篷的夜班巡警，手按着装警棍的皮套，朦朦胧胧中身影显得高大无比。一只盘子打碎了，一个女人尖声嚷叫，接着是娃娃的啼哭声。男人厉声咒骂，嘟嘟囔囔，随后沉默下来。几个人影晃来晃去，忽而潜藏起来，忽而又从破房子里窥伺。一间点燃着嵌在瓶口里的蜡烛的屋中，一个邋里邋遢的女人正替一个长着瘰疠的娃娃梳理着其乱如麻的头发。从一条巷子里传出西茜·卡弗里那依然很年轻的高亢歌声。）

西茜·卡弗里

我把它给了摩莉，

因为她无忧无虑，

把鸭腿儿给了她，

把鸭腿儿给了她。

（士兵卡尔和士兵康普顿[5]，腋下紧紧夹着短棍，摇摇晃晃地走着，向右转，一起放屁。从巷子里传出男人们的一阵朗笑声。一个悍妇嗄声恶言还击。）

悍妇

天打雷霹的，毛屁股蛋儿。卡文妞儿，加油儿。

西茜·卡弗里

我运气好着呢。卡文、库特黑尔和贝尔士尔贝特[6] 。（唱）

我把它给了内莉，

让她戳到肚皮里，

把鸭腿儿给了她，

把鸭腿儿给了她。

（士兵卡尔和士兵康普顿转过身来反唇相讥。他们的军服在灯光映照下鲜艳如血色，凹陷的黑军帽扣在剪得短短的金黄色头发上。斯蒂芬·迪达勒斯和林奇穿过人群，同英国兵擦身而过。）

士兵康普顿

（晃动手指）给牧师[7] 让路。

士兵·卡尔

（转过身来招呼）哦，牧师！

西茜·卡弗里

（嗓音越来越高）

她拿到了鸭腿儿。

不知放在哪儿啦，

把鸭腿儿给了她。

（斯蒂芬左手抡着梣木手杖，快活地唱着复活节“将祭文”。林奇陪伴着她，将骑手帽低低地拉到额下，皱起眉头，面上泛着不悦的冷笑。）

斯蒂芬

我瞧见殿堂右手喷出一股水。哈利路亚。

（一个上了年纪的妓院老鸨从门口龇出饥饿的龅牙。）

老鸨

（嗓音嘶哑地低声说）嘘！过来呀，我告诉你。里面有个黄花姑娘哩。嘘！

斯蒂芬

（略提高嗓音）凡是挨近水的人。

老鸨

（在他们背后恶狠狠地啐了一口）三一学院的医科学生。输卵管咋啦？尽管长了根鸡巴，可一个子儿也不称。

（伊迪·博德曼吸吮着鼻涕，跟伯莎·萨波尔蜷缩在一

起。此刻拉过披肩掩住鼻孔。）

伊迪·博德曼

（骂骂咧咧地）接着，那家伙说：“我瞧见你在弗思富尔广场跟你那个戴睡帽的浪荡汉——铁道涂油工一道鬼混啦。”“你瞧见了又怎么样？”我说。“你这是多管闲事，”我说。“你从来也没见我跟一个有老婆的山地人勾搭过！”我说。瞧她那副德性！一个告密者！顽固得像头骡子！她自己才同时跟两个男人一道溜达呢：火车司机基尔布赖德和一等兵奥利芬特。

斯蒂芬

（得意洋洋地）个个都得到拯救。[8]

（他胡乱木手杖，瓦斯灯的晕轮便抖动起来，那光撒遍世界。一只到处觅食的白色褐斑长毛垂耳狗吼叫着，跟在他后面。林奇踢了它一脚，把它吓跑了。）

林奇

还有呢？

斯蒂芬

（回头望了望）因此，将成为人类共同语言的，乃是手势，而并非音乐或气味。这种传达手段所明确显示的不是通常的意义，而是生命第一原理，结构性的节奏。

林奇

黄色哲学的言语宗教学。梅克伦堡街[ 9] 的形而上学！

斯蒂芬

莎士比亚就受尽了悍妇的折磨，苏格拉底也怕老婆。就连那位绝顶聪明的斯塔基莱特人[10]都被一个荡妇套上嚼子和笼头，骑来骑去。

林奇

哎！

斯蒂芬

不管怎样，谁需要打两次手势来比划面包和瓮呢？在莪默的诗里，这个动作就表示面包和酒瓮。[11]替我拿着手杖。

林奇

让你的黄手杖见鬼去吧。咱们到哪儿去呀？

斯蒂芬

好色的山猫[12]，咱们找无情的美女乔治娜·约翰逊[13]去，走向年少时曾赐与我欢乐的女神。[14]

（斯蒂芬把梣木手杖塞给林奇，缓缓摊开双手，头朝后仰。在距胸部一拃的地方手心向下，十指尖交叉，若即若离。左手举得略高。）

林奇

哪个是面包瓮[15]？简直不中用。究竟是瓮还是海关，你来说明吧。喏，接住你的拐棍儿，走吧。

（他们走过去。汤米·卡弗里爬行到一根瓦斯灯杆跟前，紧紧抱住它，使劲爬上去。接着又从顶上前蹬后踹地哧溜下来。杰基·卡弗里也抱住灯杆要往上爬。一个壮工歪倚着灯杆。双胞胎摸着黑仓皇逃走。工人晃晃悠悠地用食指按住鼻翼的一边，从另一边鼻孔里擤出长长的一条鼻涕。壮工挑着忽明忽暗的号灯，从人丛中脚步蹒跚地踱去。

（河雾宛若一条条的蛇一般徐徐蠕动过来。从阴沟、裂缝、污水坑和粪堆，向四面八方发散出污浊的臭气。南面，在朝海洋流去的河水那边，有红光跳跃着。壮工拨开人群，朝着电车轨道侧线趔趔趄趄地走去。远处，布卢姆出现在铁桥下的彼端，面庞涨得通红，气喘吁吁，正往侧兜里塞面包和巧克力。隔着吉伦理发店的窗户可以瞥见一帧综合照片[ 16] ，映出纳尔逊的潇洒英姿。映在旁边那凹面镜里的是害着相思病、憔悴不堪、阴郁忧伤的布——卢——姆。严峻的格拉顿从正面逼视着他——身为布卢姆的布卢姆。骠悍的威灵顿瞪着双目，吓得他赶紧走过去，然而映在凸面镜里那小猪眼睛肥下巴胖脸蛋儿、快快活活的波尔迪，逗乐的笨蛋，笑嘻嘻的，却丝毫也没让他受惊。

（布卢姆走到安东尼奥·拉白奥蒂的门口时停下脚步。在亮晃晃的弧光灯下淌着汗。他消失了一下，俄而又重新出现，匆匆赶路。）

布卢姆

鱼配土豆，哎，真够呛！

（他消失在正往下撂百叶窗的奥尔豪森猪肉店里。少顷，呼哧呼哧的布——卢——姆，气喘吁吁的波尔迪，又从百叶窗底下钻出来。两只手里各拎着一个包儿。一包是温吞吞的猪脚，另一包是冷羊蹄，上面撒着整粒的胡椒。他喘着气，直挺挺地站在那里。然后歪起身子，用一个包儿顶住肋骨，呻吟着。）

布卢姆

小肚子疼得慌。我何必这么跑呢？

（他小心翼翼地呼吸，慢慢腾腾地朝着点了灯的岔道走去。红灯又跳跃了。）

布卢姆

那是什么？是信号灯吗？是探照灯哩。

（他站在科马克那家店的拐角处，观望着。）

布卢姆

是北极光[17]，还是炼钢厂？啊，当然是消防队喽。不管怎样，是南边。好大一片火焰。说不定是他[18]的房子哩。贝格尔灌木[ 19] 。我们家不要紧。（他愉快地哼唱。）伦敦着火啦，伦敦着火啦！[ 20] 着火啦；着火啦！（他瞥见壮工在塔尔博街另一头拨开人群穿行。）我会跟他失散的。跑！快点儿。不如从这儿穿过去。

（他一个箭步蹿过马路。顽童们喊叫。）

顽童们

当心点儿，大爷！

（两个骑车人，点燃的纸灯晃悠着，丁零零地响着铃，像游泳般地擦身而过。）

铃铛

丁零零，丁零零。

布卢姆

（脚上抽筋，直挺挺的站着）噢！

（他四下里望望，猛地朝前一蹿。穿过朦朦上升的雾，一辆龙头撒沙车[21]谨慎地驶来。它眨巴着巨大的前灯，沉甸甸地朝他压将过来。车顶的触轮嘶嘶地摩擦着电线。驾驶员当当地踩着脚钟。）

警钟

当当布啦吧喀布啦德吧咯布卢。

（制动器猛烈地嘎嘎响。布卢姆举起那只像警察般戴着白手套的手，双腿僵直地跌跌撞撞跳离路轨。长着狮子鼻的电车司机猛地栽到驾驶盘上。他一边滑也似的驶过去，一边从轮锁与销子上面叫喊。）

司机

嘿，你这屎裤子，打算耍帽子把戏[22]吗？

（布卢姆灵巧地跳到边石上，又停下脚步。他伸出一只拿着包包的手，从脸蛋儿上抹掉溅上去的泥点子。）

布卢姆

原来是禁止通行。好险哪，然而这下子疼痛倒是消了，又得重新练练桑道操[23]了。俯卧撑。还得加入交通事故保险才行。天主保佑。（他摸了摸裤兜。）可怜的妈妈的身符。鞋后跟动不动就被轨道卡住，鞋带又容易被车轮勾住。有一天在利奥纳德街的拐角那儿、，警察局的囚车把我一只鞋刮走了。第三回就灵验了。用鞋耍把戏。司机真蛮横。我本该举报他。他们太紧张了，所以弄得神经过敏。今天早晨我瞧马车里那个女人时，跟我捣乱的，兴许就是这个家伙。同一类的美人儿。不管怎么说，他的动作够敏捷的哩。腿脚不灵便了。用打趣的口吻说真心话。在莱德小巷，抽筋抽得好厉害。我大概是食物中毒吧。幸运的征兆。怎么回事呢？那也许是私宰的牛。牲口身上打着烙印。（他闭一会儿眼睛。）头有点儿发晕。每月都闹一次，要么就是另外那档子事的反应。脑袋瓜儿晕晕忽忽的。那种疲倦的感觉。我已经吃不消啦。

噢！

（一个不祥的人影交叉着腿，倚着奥贝恩[24]的墙。这是一张陌生的脸，仿佛注射了发黑的水银。那人影从一顶墨西哥阔帽底下，用凶狠的目光盯着他。）

布卢姆

晚上好，怀特小姐。这是什么街呀？[25]

人影

（面无表情地举起胳膊作为信号）口令。马博特街[26]。

布卢姆

哈哈。谢谢。世界语。再见。[27]（他喃喃地说）是那个爱打架的家伙派来的盖尔语联盟的密探。

（他向前迈步。一个肩上扛着麻袋的拾破烂的拦住他的去路。他朝左边走，拾破烂的也朝左拐。）

布卢姆

劳驾。

（他朝右边跳去，拾破烂的也朝右跳。）

布卢姆

劳驾。

（他转了个弯，侧身而行，躲到一旁，悄悄地溜过去往前走。

布卢姆

一直靠右边、右边、右边走。旅行俱乐部在斯蒂普阿塞德竖起了路标，是谁带来这项公共福利的呢？是由于我迷了路，给《爱尔兰骑车人》的读者来信栏写了封信，题目是《在最黑暗的斯蒂普阿塞德》。靠、靠、靠右边走。半夜里捡着破烂和骨头。更像是买卖贼赃哩。杀人凶手首先会到这种地方来，以便洗涤尘世间的罪恶。

（杰基·卡弗里被汤米·卡弗里追逐着奔来，同布卢姆撞个满怀。）

布卢姆

噢！

（吓了一跳，大腿发软，停了下来。汤米和杰基就在那儿，当场失去踪影。布卢姆双手持包，轻拍着怀表袋，装笔记本的裤兜，装皮夹子的裤兜，那本《偷情的快乐》、土豆和香皂。）

布卢姆

可得当心扒手。小偷儿惯耍的花招：撞你一下，顺手就摸走你的包。

（一只能叼回猎物的狼狗，鼻子贴地嗅着，踱了过来。一个仰卧着的人影打了个喷嚏。出现了一个弯腰驼背、留着胡子的人。他身着锡安的长老所穿的那种长袍，头戴有着深红流苏的吸烟帽。玳瑁框眼镜一直耷拉到鼻翼上。鼻歪嘴斜的脸上是一道道黄色毒药的斑痕。）

鲁道尔夫

今天你是第二次浪费半克朗银市了。我不是跟你说过吗：决不可跟那帮异教徒醉鬼们混在一起。瞧，你就是攒不住钱。

布卢姆

（将猪脚和羊蹄藏在背后，垂头丧气地抚摩着温吞吞的和冰冷的脚肉和蹄肉。）是的，我明白，爹。[28]

鲁道尔夫

你在这儿干些什么名堂啊？你没有灵魂吗？（他伸出虚弱的秃鹫爪子，抚摩着布卢姆那沉默的脸。）你不是我儿子利奥波德吗？不是利奥波德的孙子吗？你不是我那亲爱的儿子利奥波德吗？就是那个离开父亲的家，也离开祖先亚伯拉罕和雅各的上帝的利奥波德吗？

布卢姆

（惶恐地）大概是的，父亲。莫森索尔[ 29] 。这就是他的下场。

鲁道尔夫

（严厉地）那天晚上，你把宝贵的金钱挥霍了一通，喝得烂醉如泥，被他们护送回家。那帮流浪汉究竟是你的一些什么人？

布卢姆

（身着年轻人穿的一套时髦的蓝色牛津服装，白色窄肩背心，头戴褐色登山帽。怀里是一块绅士用的纯银沃特伯里牌转柄表，佩着一条缀有图章的艾伯特双饰链[30]。半边身子满是厚厚一层泥巴。）是越野赛跑的选手，父亲。我就那么一回。

鲁道尔夫

一回！从头到脚都是泥。手上还划破了个口子。会患破伤风的。他们会要你命的，充满生气的利奥波德。对那帮家伙你可得当心啊。

布卢姆

（懦弱地）他们问我敢不敢比比短跑。道路上净是泥，我跌了一跤。

鲁道尔夫

（轻蔑地）不务正业的异教徒。[31]你那可怜的母亲要是看见了该怎么说！

布卢姆

妈妈！

艾琳·布卢姆

（她手里斜端着蜡台，出现在楼梯栏杆上端。头戴哑剧中贵妇人戴的那种下巴上系带子的头巾式软帽，身穿寡妇吐安基[32]那种有衬架和腰垫的裙子；衬衫钮扣钉在背后，袖子是羊脚型的；戴着灰色露指长手套，配以有浮雕的玉石胸针。盘成辫子的头发用绉网罩起。她吃惊地尖声嚷叫。）噢，神圣的救世主，这孩子给糟践成什么样子啦！快给我嗅盐[33]。（她撩起一道裙褶，在那铅灰色条纹衬裙的兜儿里摸索。从兜儿里掉出一只小药瓶、一枚“天主羔羊”[34]、一只干瘪的土豆和一个赛璐璐玩偶。）圣母圣心啊，你到底在哪儿呢，在哪儿呢？

（布卢姆嗫嚅着，两眼垂下，开始把那两个包儿往鼓鼓囊囊的兜儿里塞，却又打消了这个念头，嘴里不知嘟囔些什么。）

声音

（尖锐地）波尔迪！

布卢姆

谁呀？（他急忙弯下腰去，笨拙地搪开什么人打过来的一拳。）有何贵干？

（他抬头看。眼前出现了一位亭亭玉立、身着土耳其装束的美女，旁边是几棵枣椰树的蜃景。丰腴的曲线将她那猩红色长裤与短上衣撑得鼓鼓的，开叉儿处露出金色衬里。她系着一条宽幅黄色腰带，脸上蒙着白色——夜间变为紫罗兰色——面纱，只露出一双乌黑的大眼睛和黑亮的头发。）

布卢姆

摩莉！

玛莉恩

什么呀？亲爱的，打今儿起，你招呼我的时候，就叫我玛莉恩太太吧。（用挖苦口吻）可怜的小丈夫，叫你等了这么半天，脚都冰凉了吧？

布卢姆

（调换了一下双脚的位置）不，不，一点儿都不。（他极其激动地呼吸着，大口大口地吞进空气。有多少话想问，有多少希望，为她的晚餐备下的猪脚，要告诉她的事，解释，欲望，简直着迷了。一枚硬币在她前额上闪烁着。她脚上戴着几枚宝石趾环。踝部戴着纤细的脚镣。她身旁是一只骆驼，缠着塔楼状头巾，伫候着。那上下跳动着的驼桥[35]，垂下一道有着无数阶磴的绸梯。骆驼不大情愿地摆动着它那臀部，慢慢腾腾地凑过来：她猛揍了一下它的屁股，包金的手镯玎玲玲响着，愠怒地用摩尔话骂他：）

玛莉恩

女性的小天堂！[36]

（骆驼举起一只前脚，从树上摘下一枚大芒果，将它夹在偶蹄间，献给女主人。然后它眨巴着眼睛，扬起脖子，耷拉下脑袋，咕哝着，挣扎着跪下。布卢姆像做蛙跳游戏般地弯下腰去。）

布卢姆

我可以给你……我的意思是说：作为你的经纪人……玛莉恩太太……假若你……

玛莉恩

那么，你注意到什么变化了吗？（双手徐徐地抚摩饰着珠宝的三角胸衣，眼中逐渐显出友善的揶揄神色。）哦，波尔迪，波尔迪，你依然是个老古板！去见见世面，到广阔的天地中去[37]开开眼界吧。

布卢姆

我正要折回去取那加了香橙花液的白蜡洗剂呢。每逢星期四，铺子总要提前打烊。可是，明天早晨我首先要办的就是这事儿。（他把身上的几个兜儿都拍了拍。）浮游肾。哎！

（他指指南边，又指指东边。一块洁净、崭新的柠檬肥皂发散出光与芳香，冉冉升起。）

肥皂

布卢姆和我，是般配的一对。

他拭亮地球，我擦光天空。

（药剂师斯威尼那张满是雀斑的脸出现在太阳牌肥皂的圆盘上。）

斯威尼

您哪，三先令一便士。

布卢姆

好的。是为我老婆买的。玛莉恩太太。特制的。

玛莉恩

（柔声）波尔迪！

布卢姆

哦，太太？

玛莉恩

你的心跳得快些了吗？[38]

（她面泛轻蔑神色款款踱开，嘴里哼着《唐乔万尼》中的二重唱。她身材丰满得像只娇养着的胸脯鼓鼓的鸽子。）

布卢姆

关于“沃利奥”[39]，你有把握吗？我指的是发音……

（他尾随于后，四处嗅着的狼狗又跟踪着他。上了年纪的老鸨拽住他的袖子。她下巴上的那颗黑痣上长的毛闪闪发光。）

老鸨

一个处女十先令。黄花姑娘哩，从来没有人碰过。才十五岁。家里除了她那烂醉的爹，啥人也没有。

（她伸手指了指。布赖迪·凯利[40]被雨淋得精湿，站在她那黑洞洞的魔窟裂缝里。）

布赖迪

哈奇街。你心目中有好的吗？

（她尖口叫一声。唿扇着蝙蝠般的披肩，撒腿就跑。一个粗壮的暴徒脚蹬长靴，跨着大步追赶着。他在台阶那儿磕绊了一下，站稳了，纵身一跳，消失在黑暗中。传来一阵微弱的尖笑声，越来越低微了。）

老鸨

（她那狼一般的眼睛贼亮贼亮的）那位老爷找乐子去啦。在妓馆里可弄不到黄花闺女。十先令。可要是整宵泡在这儿，会给便衣警察撞上的。六十六号巡警可真是个狗养的。

（格蒂·麦克道维尔斜瞅着。一瘸一拐地走过来。她一面送秋波，一面从背后抽出血迹斑斑的布片，卖弄风情地拿给他看。）

格蒂

我把在世上的全部财产你和你[41]。（她喃喃地说）是你干的。我恨你。

布卢姆

我？什么时候？你作梦哪，我从来没见过你。

老鸨

你这骗子，放开老爷。还给老爷写什么满纸瞎话的信。满街拉客卖淫。像你这么个荡妇，就欠你妈没把你捆在床柱子上，用皮带抽你一顿。

格蒂

（对布卢姆）我那衬裤的秘密，你统统瞧见了。（她哽咽着，爱抚他的袖子。）你这个下流的有妇之夫！正因为你对我干了那档子事，我爱你。

（她跛着脚溜走了。布林太太身穿有着松垮垮的褶裥口袋的起绒粗呢男大氅，伫立在人行道上。她那双调皮的眼睛睁得老大，笑咪咪地龇着食草动物般的龅牙。）

布林太太

这位先生是……

布卢姆

（庄重地咳嗽着）太太，我荣幸地收到了您本月十六日的大函……

布林太太

布卢姆先生！你竟跑到这罪恶的魔窟来啦！这下狐狸尾巴可给我抓住啦！你这个流氓！

布卢姆

（着了慌）别那么大声喊我的名字。你究竟把我看成什么人啦？可别出卖我。隔墙有耳嘛。你好吗？好久不见啦。你看上去挺好。可不是嘛。这月气候真好。黑色能够折射光。从这儿抄近路就到家啦。这一带蛮有趣。拯救沦落的风尘女子。玛达琳济良所。我是秘书……

布林太太

（翘起一个指头）喏，别瞎扯啦！我知道有人不喜欢这样。哦，等我见了摩莉再说！（狡黠地）你最好马上如实招来，否则就会大难临头！

布卢姆

（回头看看）她时常念叨要来见识见识哩。逛逛这花街柳巷。喏，异国情调嘛。她说要是有钱，还想雇上几名穿号衣的黑皮肤仆役呢。就像黑兽奥瑟罗那样的。[42]尤金·斯特拉顿[43]。连利弗莫尔黑脸合唱团[44]的打拍员和巧辩演员[45]都行。还有博赫弟兄[46]。只要是黑的，连扫烟囱的都成。

（化装成黑脸的汤姆和萨姆，博赫跳了出来，身穿雪白帆布上衣，猩红短袜，浆洗得硬梆梆的萨姆勃[47]高领，扣眼儿里插着大朵的鲜红紫苑花。肩上各挂着一把五弦琴[48]。黑人特有的浅黑小手嘣嘣地拨弄着琴弦。一双白色卡菲尔[49]那样的眼睛和一嘴暴牙闪闪发光。他们脚蹬粗陋的木靴，咯噔咯噔地跳着喧嚣、急促的双人舞。拨弦，歌唱，忽而背对背，忽而脚尖挨后跟，忽而又后跟挨脚尖。用黑人的厚嘴唇吱吱咂咂地鼓噪助威。）

汤姆与萨姆

有人和迪娜一道在家里，

有人呆在家里，我知道的，

有人和迪娜一道在家里，

弹奏那把古老的五弦琴[50 ] 。

（他们猛地摘掉黑人面具，露出那淳朴的娃娃脸。然后哧哧窃笑，哈哈大笑，咚咚、当当地奏着琴，跳着步态舞，扬长而去。）

布卢姆

（面泛着酸溜溜甜蜜蜜的微笑）要是你有兴致的话，咱俩何妨也厮混一阵？也许你肯让我拥抱上那么几分之一秒吧？

布林太太

（快活地尖口叫着）哦，你这个傻瓜！也该去照照镜子！

布卢姆

咱们是老交情嘛。我的意思不过是要在两对不同的小夫妻问再来个杂婚，也就是交老婆。你晓得，在我心窝儿里对你总有点儿意思。（忧郁地）情人节那天，是我把那张可爱的小羚羊图片送给你的。

布林太太

哎呀，天哪，瞧你这副丑样子！简直是滑稽。（她好奇地伸出一只手。）你背后藏着什么？告诉咱，好乖乖。
布卢姆

（用自己空着的那只手攥住她那只手的手腕子。）当年的乔西·鲍威尔[51]是都柏林首屈一指的美人儿。时间过得好快啊！咱们回顾一下吧。你还记得一个圣诞夜，乔治娜·辛普森举行新屋落成宴那次，他们玩欧文·毕晓普游戏[52]：蒙起眼睛找饰针啦，表演测心术什么的。提问：这只鼻烟盒里装着什么？

布林大太

那天晚上你可是明星，表演半滑稽的朗诵，演得维妙维肖。你一向都是妇女们的红人儿。

布卢姆

（装扮成贵妇的随从。身着波纹绸镶边的无尾晚礼服，扣眼上戴着一枚共济会蓝色徽章，系着黑蝴蝶结领带，珍珠领扣，一只手里歪举着棱形的香槟酒杯。）女士们，先生们，为了爱尔兰，为了家园和丽人[53]干杯。

布林太太

那一去不复返的日子令人怀念。那古老甜蜜的情歌[54]。

布卢姆

（有意把嗓门放低）说实在的，我怀着强烈的好奇心想知道，某一位的某物眼下是不是有点儿热热的。

布林太太

（亲昵地）热得厉害！伦敦热热的，我简直浑身热热的！（同他的侧腹相蹭蹬）咱们在客厅里玩猜谜游戏，再从圣诞树上取下摔炮玩它一阵然后就坐在楼梯口的长凳上，檞寄生枝[55]的荫影里。光是咱俩在一起。

布卢姆

（头戴缀有琥珀色半月的紫色拿破仑帽，慢慢地把手指放到她那柔软、湿润、丰腴的手心里。她顺从地任听他摆布。）那是一夜之中最阴森的时候[56] 。我小心翼翼地从这只手里慢慢儿挑出一根刺。（将一枚红玉戒指轻轻地套到她的手指上，并温存他说）手拉着手[57]。

布林太大

（身穿染成月白色的连衣裙式晚礼服，额上戴着一顶华丽灿烂的仙女冠，跳舞卡片落在月白色缎子拖鞋旁边。她温柔地弯起手掌。急促地喘着气。）我要，又[58] ……你发烧哪！你都烫伤啦！左手最挨近心脏啦。

布卢姆

当你做了目前这个选择时，人家都说你们不啻是美女与野兽[59]。对这一点，我永远也不能饶恕你。（他攥起一个拳头，按住前额。）想想看，这对我意味着什么。当年，你对我意味着一切。（沙哑地）女人哪，快要把我毁灭啦！

（丹尼斯·布林头戴白色大礼帽，前后胸挂着威兹德姆·希利的广告牌，吸拉着毡拖鞋，从他们身边磨蹭着踱过去。他那把不起眼的胡子扎煞着，忽而朝左边，忽而朝右边咕哝着。小个子阿尔夫·柏根身穿印有黑桃么[60]的外套，笑弯了腰。忽而朝左忽而朝右地跟踪着他。）

阿尔夫·柏根

（嘲弄地指着广告牌）万事休矣：完蛋。

布林太太

（对布卢姆）楼下在表演天翻地覆[61]。（给他递了个媚眼）你为什么不吻一吻那个部位，好医治创伤呢？你心里直痒痒嘛。

布卢姆

（震惊）你是摩莉最好的朋友啊！怎么能这样？

布林太大

（从嘴唇问伸出果肉般的舌头，想要给他个鸽吻）哼。你问得无聊，没法回答。你那里有什么小礼物送给我吗？

布卢姆

（生硬地）清真食品。当晚饭吃的快餐。家里没有李树商标罐头肉，那就是美中不足[62]。我看了《丽亚》的演出，班德曼·帕默夫人，她演的莎士比亚，真是再精采不过了。可惜我把节目单扔了。要是买猪脚，就数这个地方好。摸摸看。

（里奇·古尔丁用饰针在头上别了三顶女帽，腋下夹着考立斯- 沃德律师事务所的公文包，上面用白灰涂着一副骷髅与交叉的大腿骨。公文包太重，使他的身子往一边坠。打开一看，满是半熟的干香肠，熏曹白鱼、芬顿[63] 黑线鳕和裹得严严实实的药丸。）

里奇

都柏林的东西，货真价实。

（秃头帕特，愁眉苦脸的聋子，站在人行道的边石上，折叠着餐巾，等着服侍客人。）

帕特

（斜端着一只盘子，嘀嘀嗒嗒地洒着肉汁）牛排和腰子。一瓶贮存啤酒[64]。嘻嘻嘻。等着我来上吧。

里奇

老天爷，我从来也没吃过……

（他耷拉着脑袋一个劲儿地往前走。躲藏在左近的壮工用火热的角叉戳了他一下。）

里奇

（伸手按住背部，痛苦地喊叫）啊！布赖特氏病[65]！肺脏！

布卢姆

（指着壮工）一个奸细。别惹人注意。我对愚蠢的人群厌恶透了，我可没有心情去找乐子，我处在严重的困境中。

布林太太

你这是照例用老一套的谎话来骗人。

布卢姆

关于我怎么会来到这儿，我想透露给你个小小的秘密。但是你可别告诉旁人。甚至连对摩莉也不能说。有个特殊的原因。

布林太太

（极度兴奋）哦，无论如何也不会说出去。

布卢姆

咱们去散散步好吗？

布林太太

好的。

（老鸨打了个手势，无人理睬。布卢姆和布林太太一道走起来。骾狗可怜巴巴地呜呜叫着，摇着尾巴跟在后面。）

老鸨

犹大人的脾脏！

布卢姆

（身穿燕麦色运动服，翻领上插着一小枝忍冬草，里面是时髦的浅黄色衬衫，系着印有圣安德鲁十字架的黑白方格花呢领带。白色鞋罩，臂上挎了件鹿毛色风衣，脚蹬赤褐色生皮翻毛皮鞋。将一架双筒望远镜像子弹带那样斜挎在肩上，头戴一顶灰色宽边低顶的毡帽。）你还记得吗，很久很久，多年以前，米莉——我们管她叫玛莉奥内特。刚断奶，我们大家曾一道去看过仙女房赛马会？

布林太太

（穿一身定做的款式新颖的萨克森蓝衣衫，头戴白丝绒帽，脸上蒙着蛛网状面纱。）在利奥波德镇。

布卢姆

对，是利奥波德镇。摩莉把赌注下在一匹名叫“永勿说”的马上，赢了七先令。然后坐那辆有五个座位的双轮破旧马车，沿着福克斯罗克回的家。当时你可风华正茂，戴着镶了一圈鼹鼠皮的白丝绒新帽。那是海斯太太劝你买的，因为价钱降到十九先令十一便士了。其实就是那么一点铜丝支着一些破破烂烂的旧丝绒。我敢跟你打赌，她准是故意的……

布林太太

当然喽，可不是嘛，猫婆子！别说下去啦！真会出馊主意！

布卢姆

比起另外那顶插上极乐鸟翅膀的可爱的宽顶无檐小圆帽来，它连四分之一也跟你般配不上。你戴上那一顶，简直太迷人啦，我十分神往。可惜宰那只乌儿大损了，你这淘气残忍的人儿。那小鸟的心脏只有一个句号那么大呀。

布林太太

（捏他的胳膊，假笑）我确实又淘气又残忍来着！

布卢姆

（低声说悄悄话，语调越来越快）摩莉还从乔·加拉赫太太[66]的午餐篮里拿一块香辣牛肉三明治吃。老实说，尽管她有一批参谋或崇拜者，我一向不喜欢她那派头。她……

布林太太

过于……

布卢姆

是呀。摩莉那时正在笑，因为当我们从一座农舍前面经过的时候，罗杰斯和马戈特·奥里利学起鸡叫来了。茶叶商人马库斯。特蒂乌斯·摩西带上他的女儿乘着轻便二轮马车赶到我们前面去了。她名叫舞女摩西。坐在她腿上的那只长卷毛狗神气活现地昂着头。你问我，可曾听说过、读到过、经历过或遇上过……

布林太太

（起劲地）对呀，对呀，对呀，对呀，对呀，对呀，对呀。（她从他身边倏地消失。他朝地狱门[67]走去，后边跟了一条呜呜叫着的骾狗。一个妇女站在拱道上，弯下身子，叉开双腿，像头母牛那样在撒尿。已经撂下百叶窗的酒吧外面，聚着一群游手好闲的人，倾听着他们那个塌鼻梁的工头用急躁刺耳的沙声讲着妙趣横生的故事。其中一对缺臂者半开玩笑地扭打起来。残疾人之间进行着拙笨的较量，吼叫着，扑通一声倒下去。）

工头

（蹲着，瓮声瓮气地）当凯恩斯从比弗街的脚手架上走下来后，你们猜猜他往什么地方撒来着？竟然往放在刨花上的那桶黑啤酒里撒了一泡，可那是给德尔旺的泥水匠准备的呀！[68]

游手好闲的人们

（从豁嘴唇里发出傻笑）哦，天哪!

（他们摇晃着那满是油漆斑点的帽子，这些无臂者身上沾满了作坊的胶料和石灰，在他周围跳跳蹦蹦。）

布卢姆

也是个巧合。他们还觉得挺可笑哩。其实，一点儿也不。光天化日之下，想试着走走。幸亏没有女人在场。

游手好闲的人们

天哪，真有意思。结晶硫酸钠。哦，天哪，往那些人的黑啤酒里撒了一泡。

（布卢姆走过去。下等窑姐儿，或只身或结伴，裹着披肩，

头发蓬乱，从小巷子、门口和拐角处大声拉客。）

窑姐儿们

去远处吗怪哥哥？

中间那条腿好吗？

身上没带火柴吗？

来吧，我把你那根弄硬了。

（他拖着沉重的脚步穿过她们那片污水坑，走向灯光明亮的大街。鼓着风的窗帘那边，留声机扬起那老掉了牙的黄铜喇叭。阴影里，一家非法出售漏税酒的酒吧老板正跟壮工和两个英国兵在讨价还价。）

壮工

（打嗝）那家该死的小店儿在哪儿？

老板

珀登街。一瓶黑啤酒一先令[69]。还有体面的娘儿们。

壮工

（拽住两个英国兵，跟他们一道脚步蹒跚地往前走。）来呀，你们这些英国兵！

士兵卡尔

（在他背后）这小子一点儿也不傻。

士兵康普顿

（大笑）嗬，可不是嘛！

士兵卡尔

（对壮工）贝洛港营盘[70]的小卖部。找卡尔。光找卡尔就行。

壮工

（大声喊）我们是韦克斯福德的男子汉。[71]

士兵康普顿

喂！你觉得军士长怎么样？

士兵卡尔

贝内特吗？他是我的伙伴。我喜欢亲爱的贝内特。[72]

壮工

（大喊）

……磨人的锁链，

迎来祖国的解放。[ 73]

（他拖着他们，摇摇晃晃地往前走。布卢姆不知所措，停下脚步。骾狗耷拉着舌头，气喘吁吁地靠过来。）

布卢姆

简直就像是在追“野鹅”。[74]乌七八糟的妓院。天晓得他们到哪儿去了。醉汉跑起来要快上一倍。一场热闹的混战。先在韦斯特兰横街车站吵了一通，然后又拿着三等车票跳进头等车厢。一下子被拉得老远。火车头是装在列车后头的。有可能把我拉到马拉海德，要么就在侧线过夜，要么就是两趟列车相撞。都是喝第二遍喝醉的。一遍其实正好。我跟在他后面干什么？不论怎样，他是那帮人当中最像个样儿的。要不是听说了博福伊·普里福伊太太的事儿，我决不会去，那么也就遇不上他了。这都是命中注定的。他会丢失那笔钱的。这里是济贫所[75]。沿街叫卖的小贩和放高利贷的倒是有好生意可做啦。你缺点儿啥？来得容易，去得也快。有一次，几乎给司机开的那辆当啷啷响的锃亮有轨电动讫里什那神像车[76] 轱辘压了。要不是我头脑镇定，早就把命送掉了。不过，并非每一次都能幸免。那天倘若我迟两分钟走过特鲁洛克的窗户，就会给枪杀的。亏得我没在那儿。然而，要是子弹仅仅穿透了我的上衣，我倒是能为了受惊而索取五百英镑的赔偿费哩。他是干什么的来着？基尔代尔街俱乐部的花花公子。替他看守猎场也够不容易的。

（他朝前望着那用粉笔在一面墙上胡乱画着的阴茎图案，下面题着：《梦遗》。）

奇怪！在金斯敦，摩莉也曾往结了一层霜的马车玻璃上画各式各样的图来着。画的是些什么呢？（衣着花哨、像玩偶般的女人懒洋洋地靠在灯光明亮的门口或漏斗状窗口，吸着鸟眼纹理烟卷[77]。令人作呕的甜蜜的烟草气味慢慢形成椭圆形的环，向他飘来。）

烟环

快乐真甜蜜。偷情的快乐[78]。

布卢姆

我的脊骨有点儿酸痛。往前走，还是折回去呢？还有这吃的呢？吃下去，浑身都会粘上猪的味道。我太荒谬了。白糟塌钱。多付了一先令八便士[79]。（狼狗摇着尾巴，流着鼻涕的冰凉鼻子往他手上蹭。）奇怪，它们怎么这么喜欢我。今天连那只猛犬都是这样。不妨先跟它说说话。它们就像女人一样，喜欢逢场作戏[80]。发出一股鸡貂的气味。各有所好。兴许这还是一条疯狗呢。大热天的。脚步也不稳。费多！好小子！加里欧文[81]。（那只狼狗摊开四肢趴在他的背上，伸出长长的黑舌头。用乞讨的前爪作猥亵状，扭动着。）是环境的影响。给它点儿什么，把它打发走吧。只要没有人在场。

（亲切地招呼着，像一个鬼鬼祟祟的偷猎者似的蹒蹒跚跚地蜇回来。在那只塞特种猎狗的跟随下，走进满是尿骚气味的黑暗角落。他打开一个包儿，刚要轻轻地丢掉猪脚，却又停下手来，并摸摸羊蹄。）才三便士，可真不小。但是我只好用左手拿着它。更吃力一些。为什么呢？不大用，所以就抽缩了。哦，给掉拉倒。两先令六便士。

（他打开包，依依不舍地将猪脚羊蹄丢过去。那只皮滑腰短的大看家狗拙笨地撕咬着那摊肉，贪婪地嘷叫着，嘎吱嘎吱啃着骨头。两名披着防雨斗篷的巡警在旁警戒着，默默地走近。他们不约而同地念叨。）

巡警们

布卢姆。布卢姆的。为布卢姆。布卢姆。[ 82]

（他们各伸出一只手，按在布卢姆肩上。）

巡警甲

当场抓获，不许随地小便。

布卢姆

（结巴着）我在替大家做好事哪。

（一群海鸥与海燕饥饿地从利菲河的稀泥里飞起，口中衔着班伯里馅饼。）

海鸥们

嗒噶啦嘣吧哩吓乒。[83]

布卢姆

这是人类的朋友，是用慈爱之心来培养的。

（他指了指。鲍勃·多兰正从酒吧问的高凳上越过嘴里正贪馋地咀嚼着什么的长毛垂耳狗，栽了下来。）

鲍勃·多兰

陶瑟尔。把爪子伸过来。把爪子伸过来。[84]

（那只斗犬竖起颈背，低沉地怒吼着。它用臼齿叨着猪蹄，齿缝间嘀嘀嗒嗒淌着狂犬病那满是泡沫的涎水。鲍勃·多兰静悄悄地跌到地下室前的空地上。）

巡警乙

禁止虐待动物。

布卢姆

（热切地）功德无量！在哈罗德陆桥上，有个车把式正虐待一匹被挽具磨伤了皮肉的可怜的马，我就朝他嚷了一通。结果自废力气，倒招得他用法国话骂了我一顿。当然喽，那天下着霜，又是末班马车。所有关于马戏团生活的故事，全都是极其有伤风化的。

（马菲[85]先生兴奋得脸色苍白，身穿驯狮人的服装，迈步向前。衬衫前胸钉有钻石饰扣，手执马戏团用的大纸圈，马车夫的弯鞭以及一把转轮手枪。他用手枪瞄准大吃大嚼的猎野猪犬。）

马菲先生

（面泛狞笑）女士们，先生们，这是我训练出来的灵猰[86]。用食肉动物专利特许的尖钉鞍，把那匹北美西部平原的野马埃阿斯驯服的，也是我。用满是结子的皮条鞭打它肚子下边。不论多么暴躁的狮子，哪怕是利比亚的食人兽——一头猛狮，只要装个滑车，狠狠地一勒，也会乖乖儿地就范。用烧得通红的铁棍烙过之后，再在烫伤处涂上膏药，便把阿姆斯特丹的弗里茨，会思考的鬣狗造就出来了。（目光炯炯）我掌握印度咒文[87]。靠的是我的两眼和胸前的钻石。（面泛带有魔力的微笑）现在我来介绍一下马戏团的明星鲁碧小姐。

巡警甲

说！姓名和地址。

布卢姆

我一时忘记了。啊，对啦！（他摘下那顶高级帽子，敬礼）布卢姆医生[88]，利奥波德，牙科手术师。你们一定听说过封。布鲁姆·帕夏[89]吧。财产也不知有多少亿英镑。好家伙[90]！他拥有半个奥地利。还有埃及。他是我堂兄。

巡警甲

拿出证据来。

（一张名片从布卢姆那顶帽子的鞣皮圈里掉了下来。）

布卢姆

（头戴红色土耳其帽，身穿穆斯林法官长袍，腰系宽幅绿饰带，胸佩一枚伪造的法国勋级会荣誉军团[91]勋章。他赶紧捡起名片，递上去。）请过目。敝人是陆海军青年军官俱乐部[92]的会员。律师是约翰·亨利·门顿。住在巴切勒步道二十七号。

巡警甲

（读）亨利·弗罗尔。无固定住址。犯有非法埋伏并骚扰罪。

巡警乙

要拿出你不在作案现场的证明。对你是一直提防着的。

布卢姆

（从胸兜里掏出一朵揉皱了的黄花）这就是关键性的那朵花。是一个我连姓名都不晓得的人给我的。（花言巧语地）你知道《卡斯蒂利亚的玫瑰》那个古老的笑话吧。布卢姆。把姓名改改呗。维拉格[93]。（他熟头熟脑他说起贴心话来。）您啊，警官先生，我们是订了婚的。这档子事儿涉及一个女人。爱情纠纷嘛。（他轻轻地拍着巡警乙的肩膀。）真讨厌。我们这些海军里的英俊小 伙子，总是碰上这种事儿。都是这身军服惹出的麻烦。（他一本正经地转向巡警甲。）不过，当然喽，有时也会一败涂地。哪天晚上顺路过来坐坐，咱们喝上一杯陈年的老勃艮第酒吧。（快活地对巡警乙）我来介绍一下，警官先生。她劲头可足啦。不费吹灰之力就能搞到手。

（出现了一张被含汞的药弄得浅黑的脸，后面跟随一个蒙着面纱的身影。）

浅黑水银

都柏林堡正在搜索他呢。他是给军队开除的。

玛莎

（蒙着厚厚的面纱，脖间系着深红色圣巾[94]，手执一份《爱尔兰时报》，以谴责口吻指着说。）亨利！利奥波德！莱昂内尔，迷失的你！[95]替我恢复名誉。

巡警甲

（严峻地）到警察局来一趟吧。

布卢姆

（惊愕，戴上帽子，向后退一步。然后，抓挠胸口，将右臂伸成直角形，做共济会会员的手势和正当防卫的架势。）哪里的话，可敬的师傅[96]，这是个轻佻的女人。她认错人啦。里昂邮件。莱苏尔柯和杜博斯[ 97] 。您该还记得蔡尔兹杀兄案[98]吧。我们是医生。控告我用小斧子把他砍死了，实在是冤枉啊。宁可让一个犯人逃脱法网，也不能错判九十九个无辜者有罪。[99]

玛莎

（蒙着面纱啜泣）他毁弃了誓约。我的真名实姓是佩吉·格里芬。他给我写信说，他很不幸。你这没心肝的专门玩弄女人的家伙，我要告诉我哥哥，他可是贝克蒂夫橄榄球队[100] 的后卫哩。

布卢姆

（用手捂脸）她喝醉啦。这女人喝得酩酊大醉。（他含糊不清地咕哝着以法莲人的口令。）示布罗列[101]。

巡警乙

（泪汪汪地，对布卢姆）你应该感到十分害臊。

布卢姆

陪审团的各位先生，请听我解释一下。真是搞得一塌糊涂啊！我被误解啦。我给当成了替罪羊。我是个体面的有妇之夫，一向品行端正，没有污点。我住在埃克尔斯街，我老婆是赫赫有名的指挥官的女儿，一个豪侠耿直之士，对，叫作布赖恩·特威迪陆军少将。是一位屡次在战役中立过功勋的英国军人，由于英勇地保卫了洛克滩，曾被授予少将头衔。[102]

巡警甲

属于哪个团队？

布卢姆

（转向旁听席）各位，属于举世闻名的都柏林近卫连队，那是社会中坚[103] 啊。我好像瞧见你们当中就有几位他的老战友哩。都柏林近卫步兵连队与首都警察署一道保卫咱们的家园，也是忠于国王陛下的最骁勇精壮的小伙子们。

一个声音

叛徒！谁喊“支持布尔人”来着！谁侮辱了乔·张伯伦？[104]

布卢姆

（一只手扶着巡警甲的肩膀）我老爹也曾当过治安推事。我跟你们一样，也是个忠诚的英国人。正如当时的电讯所报道的那样，为了国王与祖国，我也曾在公园里那位郭富将军麾下，在那场令人心神恍惚的战争中服过役，[105] 转战于斯皮昂·科帕和布隆方丹，受了伤。[106] 战报里还提到过我。凡是白人所能做的，我全做到了。（安洋地，带着感情）吉姆·布卢德索。把船鼻子转向岸边[107]。

巡警甲

报你的职业或行当。

布卢姆

喏，我是耍笔杆子的，作家兼记者。说实在的，我们正在策划出版悬赏短篇小说集，这是我想出来的，是个空前的举动。我跟英国和爱尔兰报纸都有联系。假若你打电话……

（迈尔斯·克劳福德口衔鹅毛笔，跨着大步趔趔趄趄地出现，他那通红的鼻子在草帽的光环中闪闪生辉。他一只手甩着一串西班牙葱头，另一只手将电话机听筒贴着耳朵。）

迈尔斯·克劳福德

（他颈部那公鸡般的垂肉晃来晃去。）喂，七七八四。喂，这里是《自由人尿壶》和《擦臀周刊》。[108] 会使欧洲大吃一惊。[109] 你是哪儿？哦，《蓝袋》[110]吗？由谁执笔？布卢姆吗：

（面色苍白的菲利普·博福伊[111]先生站在证人席上。他身穿整洁的常礼服，胸兜里露出尖尖的一角手绢，笔挺的淡紫色长裤和漆皮靴子。他拎着一只大公事包，上面标着《马查姆的妙举》字样。）

博福伊

（慢腾腾地）不，你不是那样的人。无论怎么看，我也决不认为你是那样的人。一个人只要生来就是个绅士，只要具有绅士那种最起码的素质，就决不会堕落到干下如此令人深恶痛绝的勾当。审判长阁下，他就是那帮人当中的一个。是个剽窃者。戴着文人[112] 面具的油滑而卑怯的家伙。显而易见，他以天生的卑鄙，抄袭了我的几部畅销书。都是些真正了不起的作品，完美的珠玉之作。毫无疑问，他剽窃了其中描绘恋爱的段落。审判长阁下，对以爱情和财富为主题的《博福伊作品集》，您想必是熟悉的，它在王国内也是家喻户晓的。

布卢姆

（羞愧畏缩，低声咕哝）我对那段关于大笑着的魔女手拉着手[113] 的描写有异议，如果我可以……

博福伊

（撇着嘴，目空一切地朝整个法庭狞笑着）你这可笑的笨驴，你呀！简直卑鄙得让人无法形容了！我认为你最好不这么过度地替自己开脱。我的出版代理人J．B. 平克尔[114] 也在座。审判长阁下，我相信会照例付给我们证人出庭费吧？这个讨厌的报人几乎使我们囊空如洗了，这个里姆斯的贼寒鸦[ 115] 连大学都没上过。

布卢姆

（含糊不清地）人生的大学。堕落的艺术。

博福伊

（大声嚷）卑鄙下流的谎话，证明他在道德上的腐败堕落！（打开他的公事包）我这里铁证如山，掌握犯罪事实[116]。审判长阁下，这是我的杰作的样本，可是被这畜生弄上的印记给糟蹋啦。[117]

旁听席上的声音

摩西，摩西，犹太王，

用《日报》把屁股擦。

布卢姆

（勇敢地）太夸张了。

博福伊

你这下流痞子！就该把你丢到洗马池里去，你这无赖！（对法庭）喏，瞧瞧这家伙的私生活吧！他当面一套，背后一套。在外面他是天使，回到家里就成了恶魔。当着妇女的面，他的行为简直不堪入耳！真是当代最大的阴谋家！

布卢姆

（对法庭）可他是个单身汉呀，怎么会……

巡警甲

公诉人控告布卢姆。传妇女德里斯科尔出庭。

庭役

女佣玛丽·德里斯科尔！

（衣着邋遢的年轻女佣玛丽·德里斯科尔走来。臂上挎着一只桶，手持擦地用的刷子。）

巡警乙

又来了一个！你也属于那不幸的阶级吧？

玛丽·德里斯科尔

（愤慨地）我可不是个坏女人。我品行端正，在先前伺候的那一家呆了四个月呢。工钱是每年六英镑，星期五放假。可是这个人调戏我，我就只好辞工不干啦。

巡警甲

你控告他什么？

玛丽·德里斯科尔

他调戏过我。但是我尽管穷，却懂得自重。

布卢姆

（身穿波纹细呢家常短上衣，法兰绒长裤，没有后跟的拖鞋，胡子拉碴，头发稍乱。）我待你蛮好。我送过你纪念品，远远超过你身份的漂亮的鲜棕色袜带。当女主人责备你偷了东西的时候，我轻率地偏袒了你。什么都不要过分，为人得公正。

玛丽·德里斯科尔

（激昂地）今晚当着天主的面发誓。我才不会伸手去拿这样的好处呢！

巡警甲

你控告他什么？发生什么事了吗？

玛丽·德里斯科尔

这个人在房屋后院抽冷子把我吓了一跳，审判长老爷。一天早晨，趁着女主人出门买东西的当儿，他要我摘下一根饰针给他，又搂住了我，害得我身上至今还有四块紫斑。他还两次把手捅进我的衣服里。

布卢姆

她回手打了我。

玛丽·德里斯科尔

（轻蔑地）我更尊重的是擦地的毛刷[118] ，正是这样。审判长老爷，我责备他了。他对我说，可别张扬出去。

（引起一阵哄堂大笑。）

乔治·弗特里尔[119]

（法庭书记。嗓音洪亮地宣布）肃静！现在由被告做他编造的供词。（布卢姆申辩自己无罪。他手持一朵盛开的睡莲花，开始，一场冗长而难以理解的发言。人们将会听取辩护人下面这段对大陪审团所作激动人心的陈说：被告落魄潦倒，尽管被打上害群之马的烙印，他却有决心改邪归正，全然温顺地缅怀过去，作为养得很驯顺的动物回归大自然。他曾经是个七个月就出生的早产儿，由多病并断了弦的老父精心抚养大的。他本人是可能几次误入歧途的父亲，可他渴望翻开新的一页。如今终于面对被绑上去受鞭挞的笞柱，就巴不得周围弥漫着家族的温暖气息，在团聚中度过晚年。他已经被环境熏陶成了英国人。那个夏天的傍晚，当雨住了的时候，他站在环行线铁道公司机丰驾驶室的踏板上，隔着都柏林市内和郊区那些恩爱之家的窗户，瞥见幸福的、地地道道牧歌式的乡间生活，墙上糊的是由多克雷尔[120] 店里买来的每打一先令九便士的墙纸。这里，在英国出生的天真烂漫的娃娃们，口齿不清地对圣婴作着祷告；年轻学子们拼死拼活地用着功；模范的淑女们弹着钢琴，或围着噼噼啪啪燃烧着的那截圣诞夜圆木，阖家念诵玫瑰经。同时，姑娘们和小伙子们沿着绿荫幽径徜徉；随着他们的步调，传来了美国式簧风琴的旋律，音质听来像煞管风琴，用不列颠合金[121] 镶边，有四个挺好使的音栓和十二褶层风箱，售价低廉，最便宜的货色……）

（又爆发了一阵哄笑。他语无伦次地咕噜着。审判记录员们抱怨听不清楚。）

普通记录员和速记员

（依旧低头看着记录册）让他放松一点。

马休教授

（在记者席上咳嗽一声，大声嚷）统统咳出来，伙计，一点一点地。（关于布卢姆和那只桶的盘讯。一只大桶。布卢姆本人。拉肚子。在比弗街。肠绞痛，对。疼得厉害。泥水匠的桶[ 122] 。）两腿发僵，拖着脚步走。忍受难以形容的痛苦。疼得要命。接近晌午的时候。要么是情欲，要么是勃艮第葡萄酒。对，一点儿菠菜。关键时刻。他不曾往桶里看。无人在场。一团糟。没有拉完。一份过期的《珍闻》[123]。

（起哄鼓噪，一片嘘声。布卢姆身穿沾满石灰水、破破烂烂的大礼服，歪戴着瘪下去一块的大礼帽，鼻子上横贴着一条橡皮膏，低声说着话。）

杰·杰·奥莫洛伊

（头戴高级律师的银色假发，身着呢绒长袍，用悲痛的抗议口吻。）本庭并非可以肆意发表猥亵轻率的演说，不惜伤害一个酒后犯罪者的场所。这里既不是斗熊场，也不是可以从事恶作剧的牛津。[124]不能在法庭上表演滑稽戏。我的辩护委托人尚未成年，一个来自外国的可怜的移民。他开头是个偷渡客，如今正竭力靠规规矩矩地工作挣点钱。被诬告的那些不轨行为是幻觉引起偶发的遗传性神经错乱导致的。本案中被控所犯的亲昵举动，在我这位辩护委托人的出生地法老[ 125] 之国，是完全被容许的。我要说的是，据初次印象[126]并没有肉欲的企图。既没发生暧昧关系，而德里斯科尔所指控的对她的调戏，也并没有重犯。我要特别提出隔代遗传的问题。我这位辩护委托人的家族中有着精神彻底崩溃与梦游症的病史。倘若允许被告陈述的话，他就可以诉说一桩事[127]——那是书里所曾叙述过的最奇妙的故事之一。审判长阁下，他在肉体方面是个废人，这是补鞋匠通常患的那种肺病造成的。据他所申诉的，他属于蒙古血统，对自己的行为不负任何责任。事实上，什么问题都不存在。

布卢姆

（赤脚，鸡胸，身着东印度水手的衫裤，歉疚般地将两脚的大趾头摆成内八字。睁开鼹鼠般的眯缝眼儿，茫然四顾，慢腾腾地用一只手抚摩前额。随后按水手的派头把腰带使劲一勒，以东方人的方式耸肩向法庭深打一躬，朝天翘起大拇指。）多、好、的、夜、晚。（天真地欢唱起来。）

可怜小娃子莉莉，

每晚猪脚送来哩，

两个先令付给你……

（众人怪叫，把他轰下台去。）

杰·杰·奥莫洛伊

（愤怒地对起哄者）这是一场匹马单枪的斗争。我对冥王哈得斯发誓，绝不能允许我的辩护委托人像这样被一帮野狗和大笑着的鬣狗所玩弄，而且还不准他发言。《摩西法典》[128] 已经取代了丛林法令。我绝不想损害司法的目的，然而这一点我必须反复强调指出：被告不是事先参与预谋的从犯，而起诉人被玩弄的事实也不存在。被告一直把该年轻女子当作自己的女儿来对待。（布卢姆握住杰·杰·奥莫洛伊的手，把它举到自己的唇边。）我要举出反证，彻底证明那只看不见的手[129] 在玩弄惯用的伎俩了。要是还认为可疑，就尽管迫害布卢姆好了。我这位辩护委托人生性腼腆，决做不出那种被损害贞节者会抗议的非礼举动。当一个理应对姑娘的状况负责的懦夫，在她身上满足了自己的情欲，使她误入歧途之后，他是决不会去朝她扔石头的。他要做个循规蹈矩的人。他是我所认识的人们当中最高尚清白的一位。眼下他的境遇不佳，因为他那份移民垦殖公司的辽阔地产被抵押出去了，那是在遥远的小亚细亚。现在把幻灯片放给你们看。（对布卢姆）我建议你出手大方一些。

布卢姆

每英镑付一便士。[130]

（墙上映出其尼烈湖的影象：朦朦胧胧一片银色的薄雾中，牛群在吃草。长着一双鼹鼠眼的白化病患者摩西·德鲁加茨[131] 从旁听席上站起来。他身穿印度粗蓝斜纹布褂子，双手各持着香橼、桔子和一副猪腰子。）

德鲁加茨

（嘶哑地）柏林西十三区布莱布特留大街[132]。

（杰·杰·奥莫洛伊迈上低矮的台座，一本正经地攥住上衣翻领。他的脸变得长而苍白，胡子拉碴，两眼深陷，像约翰·弗·泰勒[133] 那样出现了结核症的肿疱，颊骨上一片潮红。他用手绢捂着嘴，审视着迸溅出来的一股玫瑰色血液。）

杰·杰·奥莫洛伊

（声音小得几乎听不见）请原谅。我浑身冷得厉害，新近才离开病床。扼要他说几句话。（他模仿那有着鸟一般的头、狐狸似的胡子和宛若大象的鼻子的西摩·布希[ 134] 的雄辩。）当天使的书被打开来的时候，萌生于沉思的胸中那颗净化了的灵魂和正在净化着的灵魂的化身，倘若还有存在下去的任何价值的话[135] ，我就要提出，请对这位刑事被告人所蒙受的嫌疑，给予神圣而有利的裁定。

（一张写了些字的纸条被递交给法庭。）

布卢姆

（身着礼服）我可以提出最好的证人，就是卡伦和科尔曼[136] 二位先生、威兹德姆·希利·J．P。先生、我以前的上司乔·卡夫、前都柏林市长维·B·狄龙[137]先生。我和上流社会富于魅力的人士有交往……都柏林社交界的名媛们。（漫不经心地）今天下午我还在总督官邸的一个招待会上，跟老朋友天文台长罗伯特·鲍尔爵士和夫人聊天来着。我说：鲍勃[138] 爵士……

那尔弗顿·巴里[139] 夫人

（身穿开领低低的乳白色舞衫，戴一副长及臂肘的象牙色手套，罩着用黑貂皮镶边、薄薄地絮了棉花、拍出花纹的砖色披肩式外衣，头发上插着一把嵌着宝石的梳子和白鹭羽饰。）警察，逮捕他吧。当我丈夫参加芒斯特的巡回审判，前往蒂珀雷里[140] 北区的时候，他用反手给我写了一封字体蹩脚的匿名信，署名詹姆斯·洛夫伯奇[141] 。信里说，当我坐在皇家剧场包厢里观看《蚱蜢》的御前公演时，[142]他从楼座看见了我那举世无双的眼珠。他说，我使他的感情像烈火般高涨起来了。他向我作了非礼的表示，邀我下星期四在邓辛克[143] 标准时间下午四点半钟跟他幽会。他还表示要邮寄给我保罗·德·科克先生的一本小说，书名是《系了三条紧身褡的姑娘》。[144]

贝林厄姆夫人

（头戴无边帽，身披仿海豹兔皮斗篷，领子一直围到鼻子上。她走下四轮轿式马车，从她那只袋鼠皮大手笼里掏出一副龟甲框带柄单眼镜。）他对我也曾这样说过。对，这准是那个行为不端的家伙。九三年二月间下雨夹雪的一天，冷得连污水管的铁格子和澡缸的浮球活栓都结了冰。在索恩利·斯托克爵士[145] 的住宅外面，他替我关上了马车门。随后，他在信里附了一朵火绒草，说是为了向我表示敬慕，特地从山丘上采来的。我请一位植物学专家给鉴定一下。原来是他从模范农场的催熟箱里偷来的本地所产马铃薯花。

那尔弗顿·巴里夫人

真不要脸！

（一群妓女与邋遢汉一拥而上。）

妓女与邋遢汉

（尖声喊叫）可别让贼跑啦！好哇，蓝胡子[146] ！犹大佬摩[147] 万岁！

巡警乙

（掏出手铐）放老实点！

贝林厄姆夫人

这家伙用种种笔迹给我写信，肉麻地恭维我是穿皮衣的维纳斯[148] ，说他深切地同情我那冻僵了的马车夫帕尔默，同时又表示羡慕帕尔默的帽子护耳、蓬蓬松松的羊皮外衣以及他能呆在我身边有多么幸运。也就是说，羡慕他身穿印有贝林厄姆家徽的号衣——黑色盾纹面上配以金线绣的雄鹿头。他肆无忌惮地夸奖我的脚尖，严严实实裹在丝袜子里的丰满的腿肚子，还热切地颂扬我那藏在昂贵花边里的另外一些宝贝，说这一切仿佛都历历在目。他怂恿我——还说他感到怂恿我乃是他一生的使命——尽早抓个机会玷污婚姻之床，犯淫乱之罪。

默雯·塔尔博伊贵妇人[ 149]

（身着骑马装，头戴圆顶硬礼帽，脚蹬长统靴——上面装有状似公鸡脚上的距那样的踢马刺；朱红色背心，戴着火枪手用的小鹿皮长手套一手套筒是编织成的。她撩起长长的裙据，不断地甩着猎鞭，抽打鞭子的滚边。）他对我也是这样。因为在凤凰公园的马球赛场上，他瞥见了我。那一次，全爱尔兰队和爱尔兰第二队[150] 举行对抗赛。当英尼斯基林的强手登内希上尉骑着他所宠爱的那匹短腿壮马森特，在最后一局中获胜的时候，我的眼睛发出了圣洁的光。这个平民唐璜[151]从一辆出租马车背后瞅见了我。他把一张淫秽的相片——就是天黑之后在巴黎的大马路上卖的那种——装在双层信封里寄给了我。对任何上流妇女来说，这都是不能容忍的。我至今还保留着哪。相片上是一位半裸的女士，纤弱美丽——他一本正经地告诉我，这是他的老婆，是实地拍的。她正在跟一个壮实的徒步斗牛士[ 152] ——显然是个坏蛋——偷偷干着那种事。他怂恿我也这么做，放荡一下，去跟驻军的军官们干不规矩的事。他央求我用说不出口的方式弄脏他那封信，惩罚他——其实他就欠挨一顿严厉的惩罚——容许他驮着我，把他当马骑，并且狠狠地鞭打他。

贝林厄姆夫人

他对我也是这样。

那尔弗顿·巴里太太

对我也是这样。

（几位都柏林的最上流的夫人都举起布卢姆写给她们的卑鄙龌龊的信给大家看。）

默雯·塔尔博伊贵妇人

（突然发起怒来。她脚下的踢马刺丁当作响。）向天主发誓，我要教训教训他，我要使劲鞭打这条胆小卑劣的野狗。我要活剥他的皮。

布卢姆

（闭上眼睛，自知难以幸免，缩作一团）是当场吗？（窘促不安地蠕动着）又是一次！（战战兢兢地喘着气）我喜欢冒这样的危险。

默雯·塔尔博伊贵妇人

正是这样！我要给你点厉害尝尝。叫你像杰克·拉坦那样跳舞。[153]

贝林厄姆夫人

这个暴发户！使劲揍他的屁股。在那上面划得一道道的，就像星条旗那样。

耶尔弗顿·巴里夫人

丢人现眼！他没有什么可辩解的！一个有妇之夫！

布卢姆

这些人哪。我的意思是拍打拍打而已。热辣辣地一片红，可又不至于流血。文雅地用烨木条抽打几下，还能促进血液循环哩。

默雯·塔尔博伊贵妇人

（嘲笑）咦，真的吗，我的好人儿？那么，当着神圣的天主发誓，我会吓掉你的小命的。我说话算话，准让你挨到一顿最残酷的鞭打。你已经把沉睡在我天性中的那只母老虎激怒了。

贝林厄姆夫人

（咬牙切齿地摇晃着围巾和带柄单眼镜）亲爱的哈纳，让他尝尝滋味。给他块生姜[154] 。用九尾鞭把这杂种狗抽打个半死。把他阉割了。把他劈成八块儿。

布卢姆

（浑身发抖，缩作一团，卑躬屈膝地双手合十）噢，好冷啊！噢，我一个劲儿地打哆嗦！那是因为您美得像天仙似的。忘掉吧，宽恕吧。这都是天命[155] 啊。请饶恕我这一次。（他伸过另一边面颊。）

耶尔弗顿·巴里夫人

（严峻地）塔尔博伊夫人，绝不能饶恕他！应该痛打他一顿！

默雯·塔尔博伊贵妇人

（气势汹汹地解开长手套的钮扣）凭什么宽恕他。狗畜生，而且生下来就是这副德性！他居然敢向我求爱！我要在大街上把他打得黑一块蓝一块的。把踢马刺上的齿轮刺进他的肉里。人人都晓得他是个王八。（她凶猛地凌空甩着猎鞭。）马上扒下他的裤子！过来，你这家伙！快点儿！准备好了吗？

布卢姆

（浑身发抖，开始照她的话做）今天天气还挺暖和。（鬈发的戴维·斯蒂芬斯[156] 跟一群赤足报童一道走过去。〕

戴维·斯蒂芬斯

《圣心使者》[157] 和《电讯晚报》，附有圣帕特里克节日的增刊，上面刊登了都柏林所有那些王八们的地址。

（披着金色斗篷的教长——教堂蒙席奥汉龙举起大理石座钟给众人看。康罗伊神父和耶稣会的约翰·休斯神父低垂着头。）

时钟

（钟门启开。）

咕咕。

咕咕。

咕咕。

（传来床架上的黄铜环丁零当啷的响声。）

铜环

咭咯甲咯。咭嘎唁嘎。咭咯甲咯。[ 158]

（雾做成的镶板急剧地向后滚去，陪审员席上突然出现了一张张的脸：戴大礼帽的首席陪审员马丁·坎宁翰、杰克·鲍尔、西蒙·迪达勒斯、汤姆·克南、内德·兰伯特、约翰·亨利·门顿、迈尔斯·克劳福德、利内翰、帕迪·伦纳德、大鼻子弗林、麦科伊以及一无名氏[159] 的毫无特征的脸。）

无名氏

光着屁股骑裸马。按照年龄规定的负载重量。[160] 混蛋。他把她骗到了手。

陪审员们

（一起朝着声音转过头去）真的吗？

无名氏

（咆哮）还撅起屁股来。我敢打赌，以一百先令博五先令。

陪审员们

（一起低下头去表示同意）我们大多认为大概是这么回事。
巡警甲

这家伙是个嫌疑犯。另一个姑娘的辫子给铰掉了。[ 161] 通缉杀人犯杰克[162] 。

悬奖一千英镑。

巡警乙

（畏惧，低语）还穿着黑衣服。是个一夫多妻主义者。无政府主义者。

庭役

（大声地）没有固定地址的利奥波德·布卢姆是个臭名昭著的使用炸药的盗匪，他还是伪造文书者，重婚犯，猥亵者，又是个王八。他有损都柏林市民的公益。如今在本巡回法庭陪审团面前，经庭长阁下……

（都柏林市记录法官、弗雷德里克·福基纳爵士阁下，身穿灰白石色袍子，蓄着石像[163] 般的胡须，从法官席上站起来。他双臂捧着雨伞状的权杖。前额上直挺挺地长出一双摩西那样的公羊角。）

记录法官

本法官将断然废止这种贩卖白奴的活动，以使都柏林免遭可憎的蠹虫之危害。真是令人发指！（他戴上黑帽子 164] 。）行政司法副长官先生，把站在被告席的这个家伙押下去，关进蒙乔伊监狱里，听候国王陛下的圣旨。然后把他绞死，要做到万无一失。愿天主大发慈悲，保佑你的灵魂。把他带走。

（一顶黑色头盖帽[165] 扣到布卢姆头上。行政司法副长官高个儿约翰·范宁出现了，他吸着一支刺鼻的亨利·克莱。[166] ）

高个儿约翰·范宁

（脸色阴沉，用洪亮、圆润的嗓音说）谁来绞死加略人犹大？

（高级理发师霍·朗博尔德[167] 穿着血红色紧身皮背心，系着揉皮工人的围裙，肩上扛着盘成一圈的绳子，爬上绞刑架。腰带上插着救生用具和一根满是钉子的大头棒。他使劲搓着那双因戴着金属制关节保护套而隆起的手。）

朗博尔德

（用令人发惊的亲昵语气对记录法官说）陛下[168] ，敝人是绞刑吏哈利，默西河[169] 的凶神。每绞死一名，酬金五基尼。脖子不断不要钱。[170]

（乔治教堂的钟缓慢地响着，铁在黑暗中轰鸣着。[171] ）

众钟

丁当！丁当！！

布卢姆

（绝望地）等一等。住手。这是一场骗局。发发善心。我瞧见了。清白无辜。姑娘给关在猴圈里。动物园。淫猥的黑猩猩。（上气不接下气地）骨盆。姑娘天真地羞红了脸，使我浑身瘫软。[172] （激动不已）我离开了那地方。（转向群众中的一个人，哀求地）海因斯，我能跟你说句话吗？你认得我。那三先令，你就留下吧。[173] 假若你还想多要一点的话……

海因斯

（冷漠地）我和你素不相识。

巡警乙

（指着一个角落）炸弹在这儿哪。

巡警甲

一颗可怕的定时炸弹。

布卢姆

不，不。那是只猪脚，我参加葬礼去了。

巡警甲

（抄起警棍）你撒谎！

（猎兔狗抬起鼻子尖儿，露出帕狄·迪格纳穆那张患坏血症的灰脸。他已经吃得一于二净。他吐出一股像是吃了腐肉般的臭气。他长得个头和形状都跟人一样了。那身猎獾狗的黑褐色毛皮成为褐色尸衣。一双绿眼睛杀气腾腾地闪着光。半截耳朵、整个鼻子和双手的大拇指都被食尸鬼吃掉了。）

帕狄·迪格纳穆

（瓮声瓮气地）可不是嘛。是我的葬礼。菲纽肯大夫[174]给开了死亡诊断书。我是因病自然死亡的。

（他把那张残缺不全的死灰般的脸转向月亮，忧伤地吠着。）

布卢姆

（昂然自得地）你们听见了吗？

帕狄·迪格纳穆

布卢姆，我是帕狄·迪格纳穆的鬼魂。听着，听着，啊，听着[ 175] ！

布卢姆

这是以扫的声音。[176]

巡警乙

（画十字）这怎么可能呢？

巡警甲

一便士一本的《要理问答》里可没有。[177]

帕狄·迪格纳穆

是转生[178] 。亡灵。

一个嗓音

哦，别转文啦！

帕狄·迪格纳穆

（诚挚地）我曾经是约·亨·门顿的雇员，他是律师，负责办理宣誓和宣誓书事务，住在巴切勒步道二十七号。如今我因心壁肥大而死了。时运不济啊。我那可怜的老婆可遭了殃。她怎样忍受着这一切呢？可别让她挨近那瓶雪利酒。（他四下里打量着。）给我一盏灯。我得满足一下动物的欲望。那脱脂奶不合我的口味。

（公墓管理员约翰·奥康内尔[179] 那魁梧的身姿出现了。他手持一串系了黑纱的钥匙。站在他身边的是教诲师科菲神父[180]，肚子鼓得像只癞蛤馍，歪脖儿，身穿白色法衣，头戴印花布夜帽，昏昏欲睡地拄着一根用罂粟编成的手杖。）

科菲神父

（打个呵欠，用阴郁的嗄声吟诵）呐咪内。雅各。尔饼干[181] 。啊们。

约翰·奥康内尔

（用喇叭筒像吹雾中警报般大声喊叫）已故迪格纳穆·帕特里克·T。

帕狄·迪格纳穆

（尖起耳朵，畏畏缩缩地）陪音[182]。（挣扎着向前移动，将一只耳朵贴在地面上）

是我主人的声音！[183]

约翰·奥康内尔

埋葬许可证死亡[ 184] 第八万五千号。第十七墓区。钥匙议院。[185] 第一0 一号地域。

（帕狄·迪格纳穆一边沉思默想，一边直挺挺地翘着尾巴尖儿，竖起耳朵，显然在使劲地倾听着。）

帕狄·迪格纳穆

祈求他的灵魂获得永安。

（他沿着地下堆煤场的抛煤口像虫子一般慢慢地向前蠕动，系着褐衣的带子从卵石上拖过去，喳喳作响。一只胖墩墩的老鼠：[186] 爷爷趔趔趄趄地跟在后面。它长着一双蘑菇般的鸟龟爪子和灰色甲壳。从地底下传来迪格纳穆那闷哑的呻吟声：“迪格纳穆已死，并已入葬了。”汤姆·罗赤福特身穿深红色背心和马裤，头戴便帽，从他那有两根圆柱的机器里跳出来。）

汤姆·罗赤福特

（一手接着胸骨，深打一躬）那是吕便·杰。我得从他手里搞到一枚两先令银市。

（他死死地盯着检修口。）[187] 轮到我啦。跟我去卡洛。[188]

（他就像是一条鲁莽的鲑鱼一般纵身跳到空中，被吸入抛煤口。圆柱上的两个圆盘晃了晃，宛如一双眼睛。显示出一对“零”字。一切都消失了。布卢姆拖着沉重的脚步膛着污水继续向前走。众吻在尘雾的空隙间，吱吱响着。传来了钢琴声。他在一座点了灯的房舍前停下脚步，倾听着。众吻从它们藏匿的地方展翼飞出，在他周围翱翔，调哳着，啾唧着，颤颤巍巍地唱着。）

众吻

（颤巍巍地唱着）利奥！（啁哳着）黏糊糊，舔啊舔，腻得得，吧唧唧，跟利奥！（啾唧着）咕咕咕！真好吃，吱吱吱！（颤巍巍地唱着）大呀大！转啊转！利奥波波德！（啁哳着）利奥利！（颤巍巍地唱着）噢，利奥！

（众吻飒飒响着，在他的衣服上拍翅，飞落在上面，成为锃亮得令人眼花缭乱的斑点，化为银光闪闪的圆形金属小饰片。）

布卢姆

准是男人弹的。悲哀的曲子。教堂音乐哩。兴许就在这儿。（年轻妓女佐伊·希金斯[189] 身穿钉有三颗青铜钮扣的蔚蓝色宽松套衫，脖颈上系了一条长长的黑色天鹅绒细带。她点点头，轻盈飞快地跑下台阶，勾引他。）

佐伊

你在找什么人吗？他正在里面跟他的朋友在一道哪。

布卢姆

这里是麦克太太[190]家吗？

佐伊

不，她住八十一号。这里是科恩大大家。你走得越远，可能越倒媚。斯利珀斯莱珀老妈妈[191] 。（亲昵地）今儿晚上她自个儿在跟兽医搞着哪。他就是那个向她透露消息的人，告诉她哪些马会获胜，还接济她儿子在牛津读书。打了烊她照样接客。可是今天她并不走运。（觉得蹊跷地）你该不是他爹吧？

布卢姆

我可不是！

佐伊

你们两个人都穿黑衣服哩。今儿晚上小耗子儿痒痒吗，

（他的皮肤敏锐地感觉出她的指尖儿挨近了。一只手沿着他的左边大腿滑动。）

佐伊

球球儿好吗？

布卢姆

在另一边。可怪啦，我的长在右边儿。想必份量更重一些。我的裁缝梅西雅斯[192]

说，每一百万人当中才有一个。

佐伊

（猛地大吃一惊）你患了硬下疳啦。

布卢姆

不会吧。

佐伊

我摸出来啦。

（她把手滑进他左边的裤兜，拽出一个又硬又黑、干瘪了的土豆。她紧闭着湿润的嘴唇，打量着土豆和布卢姆。）

布卢姆

是个护身符。传家宝。

佐伊

是给佐伊的吧？留作纪念？我对你多好哇，呃？

（她贪婪地把土豆塞进自己的衣兜，挽住他的臂，柔情谴绪地搂抱着他。他不自在地泛着微笑。东方音乐徐徐奏起，一曲接一曲。他凝视着她那双眼圈涂得黑黑的、像黄褐色水晶般的眼睛。他的微笑变得柔和了。）

佐伊

下次你就是熟客了。

布卢姆

（哀切地）我只要跟可爱的羚羊亲热那么一回，我就永远也不会......（一群羚羊跳跳蹦蹦，在山上吃着草。附近有凡个湖泊。沿着湖畔是一溜杉树丛的黑色阴影。升起一股芳香，树脂发出生发剂般的浓郁气味。东方，蔚蓝的苍穹燃烧着，青铜色的鹰群划破天空，展翅飞去。下面横卧着女都[193] ，赤裸，白皙，纹丝不动，清凉，呈现着豪华气派。淡红色玫瑰丛中，喷泉淙淙响着。巨大的玫瑰咕哝着深红色葡萄的事。耻辱、肉欲与血液之酒，奇妙地私语着，淌了出来。）

佐伊

（她那后宫女奴般的嘴唇上，令人腻味地涂满了猪油与玫瑰香水调成的软膏，配合着音乐，声调平板地低语。）耶路撒冷的女子们哪，我虽然黝黑，却秀美。[194]

布卢姆

（神魂颠倒）从你的发音，我想你的家庭出身必然不错。

佐伊

我心里想些什么，你能知道吗？

（她用镶金小牙轻轻地咬他的耳朵，朝他喷着浓郁的烂蒜气息。那簇玫瑰花分裂开来，露出历代国王的金基和他们那朽骨。）

布卢姆

（犹豫了一下，笨拙地扎煞着手，机械地爱抚她的右乳房）你是个都柏林姑娘吗？

佐伊

（灵巧地握住一根散发，将它和挽起来的头发拢在一起）用不着担心。我是英国人。你有烟卷儿吗？

布卢姆

（继续爱抚着）我难得抽烟卷儿，亲爱的，偶尔倒吸根雪茄烟。哄孩子玩的。（好色地）嘴里与其叼那臭烟草卷成的圆筒，不如派上更好的用场。

佐伊

接下去！用它发表一通政见演说吧、

布卢姆

（身穿工人的灯芯绒工装裤和黑色羊毛衫，系着一条飘扬的红领带，头戴阿帕切[195] 式便帽。）人类是不可救药的。沃尔特·雷利爵士：[196] 从新大陆带回了土豆和烟草。前者能够借吸收作用消灭恶疫[197]后者毒害耳朵、眼睛、心脏、记忆力、意志力、理解力，它毒害一切。也就是说，他带回了毒药，这比我忘记了名字的带回食品来的另一位要早一百年。自杀。谎言。一切我们都习以为常。喏，瞧瞧我们的公共生活吧！

（从远处的尖塔传来了午夜钟声。）

钟声

回来吧，利奥波德！都柏林的市长大人！

布卢姆

（身穿高级市政官的长袍，挂着链子）阿伦码头、英斯码头、圆堂、蒙乔伊和北船坞的选民们，我认为应该从牲畜市场铺设一条电车道，一直通到河边。[198] 这是未来的音乐。是敝人提出的施政方案。谁能获得好处？[ 199] 然而我们这几位搭乘金融界幽灵船的冒险家范德狄肯们[200] ……

一个选民

为我们未来的总督九呼万岁！

（火炬游行队伍中的北极光跳跃着。）

持火炬者

万岁！

（几位大名鼎鼎的议员、本市大亨以及市民们与布卢姆握手，向他祝贺。曾经连任三届都柏林市长的蒂莫西·哈林顿[201] ，身穿市长的猩红色袍子，胸佩金链，系着白丝领带，仪表堂堂，与临时代理洛坎·舍洛克参议员攀谈着。二人频频点头，表示已谈妥。）

哈林顿前市长

（身穿猩红袍子，手执权杖，佩带市长的金链，系着白丝大领带）高级市政官利奥·布卢姆爵士的演说词将付梓，费用由地方纳税者支付。他出生的那所房子用纪念牌装饰起来。科克街尽头的那条原名考·帕勒的通道，今后将改名为布卢姆大街。

参议员洛坎·舍洛克

全场一致通过。

布卢姆

（充满激情地）这些飞行的荷兰人或撒谎的荷兰人，当他们斜倚在布置一新的船尾楼甲板上掷骰子时，他们在乎什么呢？机器是他们的口号，他们的非非之想，他们的万应妙丹。那是节省劳力的设备，是褫夺者，是妖精，是为了互相残杀而制造出来的怪物，是根据一群资本家的欲望，用我们所出售的劳动生产出来的可怕的妖怪。穷人在挨饿。他们却饲养着高贵的牡山鹿，沉溺在目光短浅的虚饰中，利用他们的财富和权势，对庄稼人也罢，鹧鸪也罢，胡乱射杀。然而他们的海盗统治已垮台，永远地，永远地，永……[202]

（经久不息的掌声。五彩缤纷的饰柱、五月柱[203]和节日的牌楼拔地而起。街上张挂起写有“十万个欢迎”和“以色列王多么美好”[204]字样的幡。所有的窗口都簇拥着看热闹的人，大多是妇女。沿途，都柏林近卫步兵连队、苏格兰边防近卫军、卡梅伦高原连队以及威尔士步兵连队的士兵们，以立正的姿势排列着，挡住群众。高中的男生们蹲在街灯柱、电线杆、窗口、檐口檐槽、烟囱顶管、栏杆和排水管上，又是吹口哨，又是欢呼出现了云柱[205] 。远处传来鼓笛队演奏《我们的一切誓约》的声音。先遣队举着帝国的鹰徽[206] ，旗帜随风飘扬，摇着东方的棕桐叶。用黄金与象牙装饰起来的教皇旗帜高高耸起，周围是一面面细长的三角形市旗。队伍的头排出现了，领先的是身穿棋盘花样袍子的市政典礼官约翰，霍华德·巴涅尔[207] ，阿斯隆地方选出来的议员兼阿尔斯特纹章院院长。跟在后面的是都柏林市市长阁下约瑟夫·哈钦森[208] 、科克市市长阁下、利默里克、戈尔韦、斯莱戈和沃特福德等市的市长阁下，二十八位爱尔兰贵族代表[209]，印度的达宫贵人们，西班牙的大公们，佩带着宝座饰布的印度大君，都柏林首都消防队，按照资财顺序排列的一群财界圣徒，唐郡兼康纳主教[210] 、全爱尔兰首席阿马大主教——红衣主教迈克尔·洛格阁下，全爱尔兰首席阿大主教——神学博士威廉·亚历山大阁下，犹太教教长、长老派教会大会主席，浸礼会、再浸礼会、卫理公会以及弟兄会首脑，还有公谊会的名誉干事。走在他们后面的是各种行会、同业工会和民团，打着飘扬的旗帜行进。其中包括桶匠、小鸟商人、水磨匠、报纸推销员、公证人、按摩师、葡萄酒商、疝带制造者、扫烟囱的，提炼猪油的，织波纹塔夫绸和府绸的，钉马掌的铁匠，意大利批发商，教堂装饰师，制造靴拔子的，殡仪事业经营人、绸缎商、宝石商、推销员、制造软木塞的、火灾损失估价员、开洗染行的，从事出口用装瓶业的，毛皮商、印名片的，纹章图章雕刻师、屯马场的工役、金银经纪人、板球与射箭用具商、制造粗筛子的，鸡蛋土豆经销人、经售男袜内衣和针织品商人、手套商、自来水工程承包人。尾随于后的是侍寝官、黑仗侍卫、勋章院副院长、仪仗队队长、主马官、侍从长、纹章局局长，以及手持御剑、圣斯蒂芬铁制王冠、圣爵与《圣经》的侍从武官长。四名司号步兵吹信号。卫兵们答以欢迎的号角。没帽子的布卢姆出现在凯旋门下。他披着镶了白貂皮边的绯红天鹅绒斗篷，手执圣爱德华的权杖、象征王权的宝珠、有着鸽状装饰的王节和慈悲剑[211] 。他骑着一匹乳白色的马，它甩着猩红色的长尾巴，鞍辔装点得十分华丽，马笼头是用金子制成的。狂热的兴奋。显贵的妇女们从阳台上掷下玫瑰花瓣。空气里弥漫着一片馨香气息。男人们喝采。布卢姆的侍童们拿着山楂枝与鹪鹩枝[212] ，在围观的人丛中跑来跑去。）

布卢姆的侍童们

鹪鹩啊，鹪鹩啊，

众鸟之王当推你；

圣斯蒂芬的节日，

你被缠于荆豆枝。

一铁匠

（喃喃地）真了不起！原来这就是布卢姆？看上去还不到三十一岁哪！

石板铺装工

呃，那就是遐迩闻名的布卢姆，世界上最伟大的改革家。向他脱帽致敬！

（众人摘帽。妇女们热切地交头接耳。）

一位女富豪

（阔气地）这个人多么了不起啊！

一位贵妇

（高贵地）他见识该有多么广！

一位女权运动者

（富于男子气概地）而且干了那么多！

一个装铃匠

一张典雅的脸！他有着一位思想家的前额。

（艳阳天[213] 。太阳从西北方向光芒四射。[214]）

唐郡兼康纳主教

毫无疑问，这是我国领土的无比沉着强悍、有权有势的统治者，他集皇帝、大总统、国王、议长于一身。愿天主保佑利奥波德一世！

众人

愿天主保佑利奥波德一世！

布卢姆

（身穿加冕服，披着紫斗篷，威风凛凛地对唐郡兼康纳主教）谢谢你，多少有些名气的阁下。

阿马大主教威廉

（系着紫色宽领带，头戴宽边铲形帽）陛下对爱尔兰及其属地进行审判的时候，会尽力慈悲为怀来施行法律吗？

布卢姆

（将右手放在睾丸上，宣誓[215] 。）愿造物主引导我如此行事。我发誓将这样去做。

阿马大主教迈克尔

（将瓦罐里的发油倒在布卢姆头上）我向你们宣布一桩大喜讯：我们有了一位刽子手[216] 。利奥波德，帕特里克，安德鲁，大卫，乔治。现在我为你涂油！

（布卢姆披上一件金线织成的斗篷，戴上一枚红玉戒指。他拾级而上，站在即位的石台上。贵族代表们也戴上他们那二十八顶王冠。基督教堂、圣帕特里克教堂、乔治教堂与快乐的马拉海德响起一片祝福的钟声。麦拉斯义卖会的焰火从四面八方升上天空，构成辉煌灿烂的象征阴茎的图案。贵族们一个挨一个地走到跟前，屈膝表示敬意。）

贵族们

愿作您的臣民，全心全意捍卫您在地上的尊严。

（布卢姆举起右手，上面闪烁着科- 依- 诺尔钻石[217] 。他的坐骑嘶鸣着。周围立即万籁俱寂。架起州际及行星际的无线电发报机，以接收信息。）

布卢姆

我的臣民们！我特此任命忠实的战马“幸运的纽带”为世袭首相[218]，并且宣布，今天就与前妻离婚，迎娶夜之光辉塞勒涅[219]公主为妻。

（布卢姆那位身份悬殊的前任配偶旋即被警察局的囚车押走。塞勒涅公主穿着月白色衣裳，头戴银色月牙儿，从一辆由两个巨人抬着的轿子里走下来。一阵暴风雨般的喝采声。）

约翰·霍华德·巴涅尔

（举起王旗）卓越的布卢姆！我那遐尔闻名的兄长的继承人！

布卢姆

（拥抱约翰·霍华德·巴涅尔）朕衷心感谢你的厚意。约翰，由于你在我们共同的祖先所许下的土地[220]—— 绿色的爱琳上，给我以对国王的隆重欢迎。

（他被授予体现着宪章的荣誉市民权，呈给他的都柏林市钥匙交叉放在深红色的软垫上。他让大家看他穿的是绿袜子[221]。）

汤姆·克南

陛下啊，您是当之无愧的。

布卢姆

二十年前的今天，我们在莱迪史密斯[222] 击败了宿敌。我们的榴弹炮和轻回旋炮接连击中敌军阵地，给以重创。前进一英里半！[223] 敌军冲过来了！一切都失去啦。[224] 投降吗？绝不！无论如何也要把他们击退！看哪！冲锋啊！我们的轻骑兵队扫荡普列文高地，一路呐喊着：“忠诚的士兵！”[225]把萨拉逊[226] 的炮兵杀得一个也不留。

《自由人报》排字工人工会

说得好！说得好！

约翰·怀斯·诺兰

放跑了詹姆斯·斯蒂芬斯[ 227] 的就是他。

慈善学校学童

真棒！

一个老居民

您是国家的光荣，老爷，不折不扣是这样。

卖苹果的老妪[228]

他正是爱尔兰所需要的人。

布卢姆

亲爱的臣民们，一个新时代即将来临。朕布卢姆，老实告诉你们，它甚至就在我们眼前。是的，朕以布卢姆的名义发誓，不久你们就将进入未来的新爱尔兰的金都新布卢姆撒冷[229] 。

（来自爱尔兰各郡的三十二名工人[230] ，佩带着玫瑰花饰，在营造业者德尔旺[ 231] 的指挥下，建筑起崭新的布卢姆撒冷。那是一座水晶屋顶的广厦，状如巨大的猪肾，内有四万间屋子。在扩建的过程中，曾拆毁了数座建筑物和纪念碑。政府官厅暂时迁移到铁道库房里。大批房屋被夷为平地。居民搬到用红笔标出“利·布”字样的桶里和箱子里。几名贫民从梯子上跌下来。挤满了忠实围观者的都柏林城墙的一部分坍塌下来。）

围观者们

（奄奄一息）行将咽气者向您致敬[232] 。（他们死去。）

（一个穿棕色胶布雨衣的人从活板门里跳出来，用伸长了的手指[233 ］指着布卢姆。）

穿胶布雨衣的人

他的话，你们一句也别信。这个人叫作利奥波德·明托施，是个臭名昭著的纵火犯。

其实，他姓希金斯[234] 。

布卢姆

开枪打死他！像狗一样的基督教徒！管他什么明托施呢！（一声炮响，身穿胶布雨衣的人不见踪影了。布卢姆抡起权杖将一株株罂粟砍倒。有人报告说，众多劲敌、牲畜业者、下院议员、常务委员会委员当即死亡了。布卢姆的卫兵们散发濯足节的贫民抚恤金[ 235] 、纪念章、面包和鱼、戒酒会员徽章、昂贵的亨利．克莱雪茄、煮汤用的免费牛骨、装在密封的信封里并捆着金线的橡胶预防用具、菠萝味硬糖果、黄油糖块、折叠成三角帽形的情书、成衣、一碗碗裹有奶油面糊的烤牛排、一瓶瓶杰那斯溶液、购货券、四十天大赦[236]。）、伪币、奶场饲养的猪做成的香肠、剧场免票、电车季票、匈牙利皇家特许彩票[237] 、一便士食堂的餐券、十二卷世界最劣书的廉价版：《法国佬与德国佬》（政治学）、《怎样育婴》[238]（幼儿学）、《七先令六便士的菜肴五十种》（烹饪学）、《耶稣是太阳神话吗？》（史学）、《止痛法》（医学）、《供幼儿阅读的宇宙概略》（宇宙学）、 《福临笑家门》（乐天生活法）、《广告兜揽员便览》（报业学）、 《助产妇情书》（情欲学）、《宇宙空间人名录》（星辰学）、《动人心弦的歌曲》（旋律学）、《省小钱发财法》（吝啬学）。全场争先恐后地一拥而上。妇女们往前挤，以便触摸布卢姆那件袍子的下摆。格温多林·杜比达特小姐[239]推开人群，跳上他的马，在掌声雷动中吻他的双颊。用镁光灯为他们拍摄了照片。婴儿们与乳儿们被高高举起。）

妇女们

小爹[240]！小爹！

婴儿们与乳儿们

拍拍手等待，波尔迪回家来，

兜里的点心，只给利奥吃。

（布卢姆弯下身，轻轻地戳博德曼娃娃的肚皮。）

娃娃博德曼

（打嗝儿，凝乳从他嘴里往外冒）哈加加加。

布卢姆

（跟一个双目失明的小伙子握手）你比我的兄弟还亲！（伸出双臂搂着一对老夫妻的肩膀）亲爱的老朋友们！（他与衣衫褴褛的少男少女玩抢壁角游戏。）不在！猫儿！（他推着双胞胎所坐的那辆婴儿车。）嘀嗒乖乖俩，你们穿鞋吗？（他变起魔术，从嘴里拽出红、橙、黄、绿、蓝、靛青以及紫罗兰色的丝帕。）罗伊格比夫[241] 每秒三十二英尺。[242] （他安慰一位寡妇。）独居使心灵更加年轻。（他以怪诞的滑稽动作跳起苏格兰高地舞。）跳呀，伙计们！（他吻一位瘫痪老乒的褥疮。）光荣负伤！（他把一位胖警察绊了一跤。）万事休矣：完蛋。[243]万事休矣：完蛋。（他跟一个羞红了脸的女侍咬耳朵，和善地微笑着。）啊，淘气，[244]淘气！（他啃着农民莫里斯·巴特里[245]递给他的一个生芜菁。）不错！好极啦！（他拒绝接受记者约瑟夫·海因斯递过来的三先令。）我亲爱的伙计，这可不行！（他把上衣送给一个乞丐。）请你收下。（他参加上了年岁的男女瘫子的爬行比赛。）来呀，小伙子们！向前爬呀，姑娘们！

市民

（感动得说不出话来，用鲜绿色围巾擦拭眼泪。）愿好天主保佑他！

（山羊角制号角[246]响了，要人们保持肃静。升起了锡安旗[247]。）

布卢姆

（威风凛凛地脱下大笔，露出肥胖的身躯。打开一卷纸，庄严地朗读。）阿列夫、贝特、吉梅尔、达列特[248]，《哈加达》书[249]，门柱圣卷[250]，合礼[251]，赎罪日[252]，再献圣殿节[253]，罗施·哈沙纳[254]，圣约之子会[ 255] ，受诫礼，无酵饼[ 256] ，德系犹太人，梅殊加[257] ，带流苏的围巾[258] 。

（市政府副书记官吉米·亨利[259] 宣读一篇正式译文。）

吉米·亨利

债权法院现在开庭。最宽宏大量的陛下即将举行户外审判。免费提供医学和法律方面的咨询。解答模棱两可的辞句以及其他问题。竭诚欢迎大家光临。乐园历元年于我们忠实的王都都柏林举行。

帕迪·伦纳德

我的地方税和国税怎么办？

布卢姆

朋友，就交纳吧。

帕迪·伦纳德

谢谢您。

大鼻子弗林

我能用火灾保险证书作抵押吗，

布卢姆

（冷漠地）各位先生，请注意，由于你们的侵权行为，应交保释金五英镑，限期六个。

杰·杰·奥莫洛伊

我说过他是个但尼尔[260] 吗? 不！他简直就是彼得·奥布赖恩[ 261] 。

大鼻子弗林

这五英镑，我打哪儿支取呢？

精明鬼[262]伯克

膀眺有毛病怎么办？

布卢姆

稀硝盐酸[263]，二十滴。

酊剂混和催吐剂，[264]五滴。

蒲公英精液[265]，三十滴。

兑上蒸馏水，每日三次。[266]

克里斯·卡利南[ 267]

毕宿五的周年视差是多少？［268]

布卢姆

克里斯，很高兴能见到你。吉11。

乔·海因斯

你为什么不穿制服？

布卢姆

当我那道德崇高的祖先身穿奥地利暴君的制服被关在潮湿的牢房里的时候，你的祖先哪儿去啦？

本·多拉德

三色堇？

布卢姆

装饰（美化）郊区的花园。

本·多拉德

双胞胎到来的时候呢？

布卢姆

父亲（老子、爹）开始思索[269] 。

拉里·奥罗克[270]

为我新开的这家酒吧发个八天的许可证[271] 吧。利奥爵士，还记得我吧？那时你们住在七号来着，我正要给你太太送一打烈性黑啤酒哩。

布卢姆

（冷冰冰地）你的记性比我的好。可布卢姆太太是从来不接受礼物的。

克罗夫顿

这真像是过节。

布卢姆

（庄严地）你说这是过节。我说这是领圣体。

亚历山大·凯斯

我们什么时候才能有自己的钥匙议院[272]呢，

布卢姆

我主张整顿本市的风纪，推行简明浅显的《十诫》。让新的世界取代旧的。犹太教徒、伊斯兰教徒与异教徒都联合起来。每一个大自然之子都将领到三英亩土地和一头母牛。[273] 豪华的殡仪汽车[274] 。强制万民从事体力劳动。所有的公园统统昼夜向公众开放。电动洗盘机。一切肺病、精神病、战争与行乞必须立即绝迹。普遍大赦。每周举行一次准许戴假面具的狂欢会。一律发奖金。推行世界语以促进普天之下的博爱。再也不要酒吧间食客和以治水肿病为幌子来行骗的家伙们的那种爱国主义了。自由货币，豁免房地租，自由恋爱以及自由世俗国家中的一所自由世俗教会。

奥马登·勃克

一个自由鸡窝里的自由狐狸。

戴维·伯恩[275]

（打哈欠）！阿——哧！

布卢姆

混合人种和混合通婚。

利内翰

男女混浴怎样？

（布卢姆向身边的人们阐述了自己的社会改革计划。众人一致表示同意。基尔代尔街博物馆的管理员出现了。他拉着一辆排子车，上面摇摇晃晃地载着儿具裸体女神雕像：美臀维纳斯[276] ，肉欲维纳斯[277] 、轮回维纳斯[278] ，还有九位也是裸体的新缪斯女神石膏像。她们司的是：商业、歌剧、恋爱、广告、工业、言论自由、多重投票权、烹调法、家庭卫生法、海边音乐会、无痛分娩法和通俗天文学。）

法利神父[279]

他是个主教派[280] 教友，一个不可知论者，一个企图推翻我们神圣信仰的无教义者。

赖尔登老太太[281]

（撕碎她的遗嘱）我对你失望啦！你这坏蛋！

葛罗甘老婆婆[ 282]

（脱掉一只长靴子朝布卢姆丢去）你这畜生！可恶的家伙！

大鼻子弗林

给咱们唱个小曲儿吧，布卢姆。唱一支古老甜蜜的情歌[283]。

布卢姆

（欢乐诙谐地逗弄着）

我发誓不离开她，永永远远，

原来她好残忍，把我欺骗，

我的吐啦噜，吐啦噜，吐啦噜。[284]

“独脚”霍罗翰[285]

好样的老布卢姆！不管谁也比不过他。

帕迪·伦纳德

爱尔兰戏子！

布卢姆

哪一出铁道歌剧像一条直布罗陀的电车线路？并排的铸铁。[286] （笑声。）

利内翰

剽窃家！打倒布卢姆！

蒙面纱的女巫

（狂热地）我是布卢姆的信徒，并且以此为荣。不管怎样，我相信他。他是天底下最逗的人，我情愿为他献出自己的生命。

布卢姆

（朝围观者眨眼）我敢断定她准是个漂亮姑娘。

西奥多·普里福伊[287]

（头戴钓鱼帽，身穿防水布前克）他利用机械的设计来阻挠大自然神圣掌画的实现。

蒙面纱的女巫

（用短刀刺胸脯）我英雄的天神啊！（死去。）（众多最富于魅力和狂热的妇女也纷纷自杀。有用匕首刺胸口的，有自溺的，服氢氰酸、附子或砒霜的，割动脉的，绝食的，纵身投到蒸气碾路机轮下的，从纳尔逊纪念柱顶上跳进吉尼斯啤酒公司那巨大酒桶里的，还有把头伸到煤气灶底下气绝身死，用时髦的袜带自缢，或从各层楼窗口跳下的。）

亚历山大·约·道维[288]

（语气激烈地）基督教徒们和反布卢姆主义者，这个名叫布卢姆的家伙是从地狱的底层来的，丢尽了基督教徒的脸。门德斯这只臭山羊[289]从小就是个恶魔似的浪子，露出早熟幼儿的淫荡症状，令人联想到低地各镇[290] 。而且他竟跟一个放荡的老妪勾勾搭搭。这个厚颜无耻、假冒为善的恶棍，简直就是《启示录》里提到的那只白牛。[291] 他是绯红女[292] 的崇拜者。他鼻孔里呼吸的净是阴谋诡计。火刑柱和烧滚了的油锅正是他的去处。凯列班[293 ]！

群氓

用私刑拷打他！把他活活烧死！他跟巴涅尔一样坏。福克斯先生！[294]

（葛罗甘老婆婆把长靴朝布卢姆丢去。上多尔塞特街上方和下方的几家店的老板朝他丢一些廉价的或根本不值一文的物品：火腿骨头、炼乳罐头、卖不出去的卷心菜、陈面包、羊尾和肥猪肉碎片。）

布卢姆

（兴奋地）这简直是中了暑又在发疯了，[295]又开起可怕的玩笑来了。对上苍发誓，我就像没有被太阳照射过的白雪一般皎洁[296]。那是我哥哥亨利干的。我们两个人长得一模一样。他住在海豚仓巷二号。谣言这条毒蛇对我进行了恶意中伤。[ 297] 各位同胞，索然无味的故事犹如没有马的公共马车。[298]我提请我的老友、性病专家玛拉基·穆利根博士对我从医学上做出鉴定。
穆利根博士

（身着驾车穿的皮前克，额上戴着一副绿色防尘眼镜）布卢姆博士是个变态的阴阳人。他是新近从优斯塔斯大夫为神经失常的男病人所设的私立精神病院里逃出来的。他有着遗传性癫痫病征象，这是纵欲所导致的。曾经发现他的祖先有着象皮病迹象。慢性下体裸露狂的征候十分明显。还潜伏着灵巧地使用双手的现象。由于手淫，他过早地歇了顶，结果形成了乖僻的梦想家气质。他是个改邪归正的放荡者，装有金牙。家庭矛盾使他暂时丧失了记忆。我相信他是个并没有犯多大罪，却受了很大冤屈的人[299] 我曾对他做过全面检查，对肛门、腋窝、胸部和阴部的五千四百二十六根毛做了酸性试验。我敢断言，他是个处女膜未受损的童贞女[300]。

（布卢姆用高级礼帽遮住自己的生殖器。）

马登[301] 大夫

泌尿生殖器高度畸型也很显著。为了禆益后世，我建议把患部用酒精浸泡，保存在国立畸形博物馆里。

克罗瑟斯大夫

我检查了患者的尿。含有硬蛋白。唾液的分泌不充分，膝反射是间歇性的。

潘趣·科斯特洛大夫

犹太人气味[302]也挺显著。

迪克森大夫

（宣读健康诊断书）布卢姆先生是新型阴性男人的最佳典型。他的品行淳朴可爱。许多人认为他是个和蔼可亲的男子，和蔼可亲的人。整个说来，他挺古怪。从医学上看，他虽腼腆，但不低能。他曾经给改革派牧师保护协会的法庭委员写过一封措词优美的信，堪称是一首诗，它把一切都解释得一清二楚。他简直是个绝对戒酒的人。我敢断言，他睡在稻草褥子上，吃的是最俭朴的食物——菜店里那冰凉的干豌豆。不论冬夏，穿的都是爱尔兰制造的马尾毛织的衬衫。每星期六鞭打自己一顿。我听说他曾经是格伦克里感化院[303]里品行最坏的少年犯。据另一份报告，他还是个地地道道的遗腹子。我以人类的发声器官所发出过的最神圣的言辞，恳请对他宽大处理。他眼看就要生娃娃啦。

（全场骚动，一致表示同情。妇女们晕倒。一位美国富翁为布卢姆在街头募款。转眼之间就募到金币与银币、空白支票、钞票、宝石、债券、已到期的汇票、借据、结婚戒指、表链、小金盒、项链和手镯。）

布卢姆

噢，我多么想做妈妈呀。

桑顿太太[204]

（身穿护士服）亲爱的，紧紧地搂住我。很快就结束了。紧紧地，亲爱的。（布卢姆紧紧搂住她，并生下八个黄种和白种男娃。他们出现在铺了红地毯的楼梯上。装饰着珍贵花草的楼梯上。这八胞胎个个相貌英俊，有着贵重金属般的脸，身材匀称，衣着体面，举止端庄，能够流利地操五种现代语言，对各种艺术与科学饶有兴趣。每个人的名字都清晰地印在衬衫前襟上：金鼻[305] 、金指、金口[306] 、金手[307] 、银微笑、银本身[308]、水银[309]、全银[310]他们当即被委以几国的重要公职，诸如银行总裁、铁路运输经理、股份有限公司董事长、饭店联合组织的副主席。）

一个声音

布卢姆，你是救世主本·约瑟夫还是本·大卫[311]？

布卢姆

（阴郁地）你说的是。[312]

巴茨修士[ 313]

那么，就像查尔斯神父那样创造奇迹吧。

班塔姆·莱昂斯

你预言一下哪一匹马将在圣莱杰赛场上获胜。[314]（布卢姆在一张网上踱步。他用左耳遮住左眼，穿越凡堵墙，爬上纳尔逊纪念柱，用眼睑勾住柱顶横梁，悬空吊在那里。他吃掉十打牡蛎（连同外壳），治好了几名瘰疠患者，颦蹙起鼻子眼来模仿众多历史人物：贝肯斯菲尔德勋爵[ 315]、拜伦勋爵、沃特·泰勒[316]、埃及的摩西、摩西·迈蒙尼德[317]、摩西·门德尔松[318]、亨利·欧文[319] 、瑞普·凡·温克尔[320] 、科苏特[321] 、冉- 雅克·卢梭[322] 、利奥波德·罗思柴尔德男爵[323]、鲁滨孙·克鲁索、夏洛克·福尔摩斯、巴斯德[324]。他将两条腿同时朝不同的方向掉换，吩咐潮水倒流，伸出小指，导致日蚀[325]。）

罗马教皇的大使布利尼[ 326]

（身穿教皇军的祖亚沃军服，披着钢制皑甲，包括胸甲、臂甲、护腿具、护胫具；蓄着亵渎神明的大胡子，头戴褐色纸制主教冠。）利奥波德的家谱如下[327] ：摩西生挪亚[328] ，挪亚生尤尼克[329]，尤尼克生奥哈罗汉，奥哈罗汉生古根海姆[330] ，古根海姆生阿根达斯，阿根达斯生内泰穆[331] ，内泰穆生勒·希尔施[332]，勒·希尔施生耶书仑[333] ，耶书仑生麦凯，麦凯生奥斯特罗洛普斯基，奥斯特罗洛普斯基生斯梅尔多兹[334] ，斯梅尔多兹生韦斯，韦斯生施瓦茨[335] ，施瓦茨生阿德里安堡[336] ，阿德里安堡生阿兰胡埃斯[337] ，阿兰胡埃斯生卢维·劳森，卢维．劳森生以迦博多诺索[ 338]，以迦博多诺索生奥唐奈·马格纳斯[339]，奥唐奈·马格纳斯生克里斯特鲍默[340] ，克里斯特鲍默生本·迈默[ 341] ，本·迈默生达斯蒂·罗兹[342] ，达斯蒂·罗兹生本阿莫尔[ 343]，本阿莫尔生琼斯- 史密斯[344] ，琼斯- 史密斯生萨沃楠奥维奇[345]，萨沃楠奥维奇生贾斯珀斯通[346]，贾斯珀斯通生万图尼耶姆，万图尼耶姆生松博特海伊[347] ，松博特海伊生维拉格，维拉格生布卢姆，给他起名叫以马内利。[348]

一只死者的手[349]

（在墙上写着）布卢姆是个傻瓜。

克雷布[350]

（土匪装束）你在基尔巴拉克后面的牛洞里干啥来着？[351]

一个女娃

（摇着拔浪鼓）在巴利鲍桥[352] 下又干了些什么？

冬青树[353]

在魔鬼谷[354] 里呢？

布卢姆

（从前额一直涨红到臀部，左眼落下三滴泪）我那些往事，请不要去提啦。

被赶出去的爱尔兰房客们

（穿着紧身衣和短裤，手持顿尼溪集市[355] 上使用的那种橡树棒。）用犀牛鞭[356]抽他一顿！

（布卢姆长着一副驴耳朵[357] ，交抱着胳膊，伸出两脚，坐在示众台上。他用口哨吹起《唐乔万尼》中的“今晚同你”[358] 。阿尔坦[359] 的孤儿们手拉着手在他周围跳跳蹦蹦。狱门救济会[360] 的姑娘们也手拉着手，朝相反的方向跳跳蹦蹦。）

阿尔坦的孤儿们

你是猪猡，你是脏狗！

娘儿们咋会爱上你！

狱门救济会的姑娘们

你若遇凯伊，

告诉他可以

喝茶时见你，

替我捎此语。[361]

霍恩布洛尔[362]

（身罩祭披[363] ，头戴猎帽，宣布说）他将为众人负罪，前往住在荒野里的恶魔阿撒泻勒[364] 以及夜妖利利斯[365]那里，对，来自阿根达斯·内泰穆[366] 和属于含的土地麦西[367]的人们，全都朝他扔石头，羞辱他。

（众人朝布卢姆做掷石状。许多真正的旅客[368]的丧家之犬凑近他，羞辱他。马斯羌斯基和西特伦穿着宽大长外套，耳后垂着长长的鬈发，走了过来。他们朝布卢姆摇着大胡子。）

马斯羌斯基和西特伦

恶魔！伊斯特拉的莱姆兰[369] ，伪救世主！阿布拉非亚[ 370]！叛教者！

（布卢姆的裁缝乔治·R·梅西雅斯[371]腋下夹个弯把熨斗出现，他出示一张帐单。）

梅西雅斯

改一条裤子的工钱：十一先令。

布卢姆

（快快活活地搓着两只手）还是老样子。布卢姆一文不名！

（黑胡子叛徒吕便·杰·多德，坏心眼的牧羊人，将其子的溺尸扛在肩上，走近示众台跟前。）

吕便·杰·多德

（嗄声悄悄地说）事情败露了。奸细向警察告了密。一见到出租马车立刻就给拦截住。

消防队

呜呜呜！

巴茨修士

（给布卢姆穿上一件黄袍，上面绣着色彩鲜明的火焰，并给他戴上一顶高尖帽。还在布卢姆的脖颈上挂起一口袋火药，把他交到市政当局手里，并且说：）赦免他的罪过[372] 。
（根据众人的要求，都柏林市消防队的迈尔斯[373] 中尉在布卢姆身上点了火。一片悲叹声。）

“市民”[374]

谢天谢地！

布卢姆

（身穿标有I．H.S[375]字样的无缝衣，直挺挺地站在火凤凰[376] 的火焰中）爱琳的女儿们啊！别为我哭泣。[377]

（他向都柏林的新闻记者们出示自己身上烧的的伤痕。爱琳的女子们身穿黑衣，手持巨大的祈祷书和点起的长蜡烛，跪下来祷告。）

爱琳的女儿们

布卢姆之腰子，为我等祈。[378]

浴槽之花，为我等祈。

门顿之导师，为我等祈。

《自由人报》的广告兜揽员，为我等祈。

仁慈之共济会会员，为我等祈。

漂泊之肥皂，为我等祈。

《偷情的快乐》，为我等祈。

《无言之歌》，为我等祈。

“市民”之训斥者，为我等祈。

褶边之友，为我等祈。

最仁慈之产婆，为我等祈。

驱灾避邪之土豆，为我等祈。

（由文森特·奥布赖恩[379] 先生指挥的六百人的唱诗班，在约瑟夫·格林[380] 的风琴伴奏下，齐唱叠句《弥赛亚》中的“哈利路亚”叠句。布卢姆沉默下来，逐渐缩小，焦化了。）

佐伊

一直聊到脸上发黑吧。

布卢姆

头戴一顶破旧帽子，帽带上插着一支陶制烟斗。脚蹬一双满是尘埃的生皮翻毛鞋[381] 手执移民的红手绢包，拽着一口用稻草绳拴着的黑泥炭色的猪，眼中含笑。）现在放我走吧，大姐，因为凭着康尼马拉[382] 有的山羊发誓，我刚刚挨的那顿毒打真够呛。（眼里噙着一滴泪）一切都是疯狂的。爱国主义也罢，哀悼死者也罢，音乐或民族的未来也罢。生存还是毁灭。[383]人生之梦结束了。但求一个善终。他们可以活下去。（他哀痛地望着远方。）我完蛋啦。服上几片附子。拉下百叶窗。留一封信。然后躺下来安息。（他轻轻地呼吸。）不过如此而已。我曾经生活过。去了。再见。

佐伊

（把手指插到缠在脖颈上的缎带里，板起面孔）你说的是老实话吗？下次再说吧。（她冷笑）我猜你是从不同于往日的那边下的床[384]，要么就是跟你相好的姑娘操之过急。噢，你转些什么念头，我都一清二楚！

布卢姆

（惨痛地）男女，作爱，算什么？塞子和瓶子罢了。[ 385]

佐伊

（佛然作色）我就恨口是心非的无赖。你去嫖下等窑姐儿好啦。

布卢姆

（表示反悔）我知道自己着实叫人厌烦。你固然邪恶，可我没你还真不行。你是从哪儿来的？伦敦吗？

佐伊

（伶牙俐齿地）连猪都弹风琴的霍格斯·诺顿[386] 。我是在约克郡[387] 出生的。（她握住他那只正在抚摩她乳房的手。）喂，汤米·小耗子儿[388] 。别这样，来点更带劲儿的。你身上有够干一会儿的钱吗？十先令？

布卢姆

（微笑，慢慢点头）有更多的，霍丽[389] ，更多的。

佐伊

有更多的吗？（她用天鹅绒般柔嫩的手不在意地拍着他。）你要到音乐室里去瞧瞧我们那架新的自动钢琴吗？来吧，我会脱光的。

布卢姆

（像一个焦虑不安的行商那样打量她那对削了皮的梨有多么匀称，感到无比困惑[390]，迟迟疑疑地摸着后脑勺。）要是给某人知道了，她吃起醋来可厉害哩。一个绿眼的恶魔[391]。（一本正经地）不用说你也晓得会有多么棘手。

佐伊

（受宠若惊）眼不见心不烦。（她拍拍他。）来吧。

布卢姆

大笑着的魔女！推摇篮的手[392]。

佐伊

娃娃呀！

布卢姆

（裹着襁褓和斗篷，脑袋挺大，乌黑的头发恰似胎膜。一双大眼睛盯着她那晃来晃去的衬裙，用胖嘟嘟的指头数着上面的青铜扣子。他伸出湿漉漉的舌头，口齿不清他说：）一、二、山[三] 、山［三］、儿[二]、咦［一]。

扣子们

爱我，不爱我，爱我[393]。

佐伊

沉默就表示同意喽。（扎煞着小小指头，抓住他的手，用食指尖戳戳他的掌心，悄悄地给他暗示，[394] 把他诱向毁灭。）手热证明内脏冷。

（他在香气、乐声与诱惑中犹豫不决。她把他领向台阶，用她腋下的气味、描了眼线的双目的魅力以及套裙的窸窣声吸引着他，荷叶边的裙褶还遗留着所有那些曾经占有过她的雄兽如狮子般的臭气。）

雄兽们

（散发出发情、粪便和硫黄的气味，在饲养场里横冲直撞，低声吼叫，摇晃着服了麻醉药的脑袋。）真够味儿！

（佐伊和布卢姆来到门口，两个姐妹妓女坐在那里。她们画了眉，抬起眼睛好奇地打量着他。他连忙鞠了一躬，她们报以微笑。他狼狈地差点儿栽倒。）

佐伊

（亏得她立即伸出一只手扶住了他。）哎呀！可别栽到楼上去。[395]

布卢姆

正直的人可以摔七个跟头。（他在门口让路。）照规矩，请您先走。

佐伊

夫人先走，先生随后。

（她迈门坎。他迟疑着。她转过身，伸出双手，将他往里拽。他跳了进去。门厅里那个多叉鹿角状衣帽架上，挂着一顶男帽和一件雨衣。布卢姆摘下帽子，然而一眼瞥见那些，就皱起眉头，微笑着出起神来。楼梯平台处一扇门猛地打开。一个穿紫衫灰裤褐色袜子的男人迈着猴子般的步子走过。他扬着秃头和山羊胡，紧紧抱着一只装满了水的罐子，一副黑背带一直耷拉到脚后跟那儿。布卢姆赶紧扭过脸去，弯下身，端详起放在门厅里桌子上的那只剥制狐狸：它做着跑路的姿势，有着一双长毛垂耳狗那样的眼睛。随后，他抬起头嗅着，跟着佐伊走进音乐室。红紫色的薄纸罩子把枝形吊灯的光线遮暗了。一只蛾子正围在那里飞来飞去，东冲西撞地想逃出去。地板上铺着翡翠、天蓝、朱红三色扁菱形拼花图案的漆布，上面布满了形形色色的脚印：脚跟顶着脚跟，脚跟对着脚心，脚尖顶着脚尖，交叉起来的脚以及没有身子的幽灵拖着脚步在跳莫利斯舞的脚，都乱七八糟地扭在一起。四壁上糊着的墙纸图案是：紫杉木和明亮的林中小径。壁炉格子前展开一扇孔雀毛花样的屏风。反戴着便帽的林奇盘腿坐在用兽毛编织的炉毯上。他用一根细棍缓慢地打着拍子。基蒂·里凯茨，一个身着海军服、瘦骨磷峋、面色苍白的妓女，把鹿皮手套翻过来，露出珊瑚镯子。她拿着麻花式样的手提包，高高地坐在桌边上，悠荡着一条腿，对着壁炉台上端那面镀金的镜子，顾影自怜。她上衣底下略微露出一点垂下来的胸衣饰穗。林奇嘲笑般地指了指坐在钢琴对面的一对男女。）

基蒂

（用手捂着嘴，咳嗽。）她有点傻头傻脑。（她晃着食指，打手势。）布噜布噜。（林奇用他那根细棍挑起她的裙子和白衬裙。她连忙又拽好。）放规矩点儿。（她打个嗝儿，然后赶快低下她那水手帽，她那用散沫花染料染红了的头发在帽檐底下闪着光。）噢，对不起！

佐伊

再弄亮点儿，查理。（她走到枝形吊灯跟前，将煤气开关拧到头。）

基蒂

（瞅着煤气灯的火苗）今天晚上出了什么毛病？

林奇

（声音低沉地）亡灵和妖怪上场。

佐伊

替佐伊捶捶背吧。

（林奇晃了一下手里的细棍：这是一根黄铜拨火棍。斯蒂芬站在自动钢琴旁边，琴上胡乱丢着他的帽子和梣木手杖。他用两个手指再一次重复空五度[396] 的音程。弗洛莉·塔尔博特，一个虚弱，胖得像鹅一样的金发娼妇，身穿发霉的草莓色褴褛衣衫，摊开四肢躺在沙发的一角，一只前臂从长枕上耷拉下来，倾听着。困倦的眼皮患了严重的麦粒炎。）

基蒂

（又打了个嗝儿，同时用悬空的脚一踢）噢，对不起！

佐伊

（赶紧说）你的心上人在想你哪。把汗衫带子系好吧。（基蒂·里凯茨低下头去。她那圆筒形皮毛围巾松开了，哧溜哧溜地顺着肩、背、臂、椅子，一直滑落到地上。林奇用他手里的细棍挑起那卷曲的毛毛虫般的东西。她扭着脖子，做小鸟依人状。斯蒂芬掉过头去，朝那个反戴着便帽、盘腿而坐的身影瞥了一眼。）

斯蒂芬

事实上，究竟是本尼迪多·马尔切罗[397] 所发现的，还是他创作的，那无关紧要。仪式是诗人的安息。那也许是献给得墨忒耳[398] 的一首古老赞歌，要么就是为“诸天宣布上帝的荣耀”[399]谱的曲。它的音节或音阶可能迥乎不同，正如高于弗里吉亚调式与混合吕底亚[400]调式之间的差别很大似的。歌词也可能很不一样，犹如围绕着大卫——不，刻尔吉[401]，我在说些什么呀，我指的是刻瑞斯[402]——的祭坛，祭司们所发出的喧嚣声不同于大卫从马房里得来又讲给首席巴松管吹奏者[403]听的有关神之全能的那些话。哎呀，说实在的，这完全是风马牛不相及的两码事。趁着年轻干荒唐勾当吧，青春一去不复返嘛。[404]（他住了口，指着林奇的便帽，始而微笑，继而大笑起来。）你的智慧瘤子长在哪边？

便帽

（忧郁消沉）呸！正因为才所以。这是妇道人家的歪理。犹太裔希腊人是希腊裔犹太人。物极必反。死亡是生命的最高形式。算了

斯蒂芬

我所有的错误、自负、过失，你都记得相当准确。对于你的不忠诚，我还要继续闭眼睛到什么时候呢？砺石[ 405] ！

便帽

哎！

斯蒂芬

我还有句活跟你说。（他皱起眉头。）原因是基音和全音阶第五音被最大限度的音程[406] 分割开来了，它……

便帽

它？说完呀。你说不完。

斯蒂芬

（竭力说下去）音程分割开来了，它就是最大限度的省略。两极相通。八度。它。

便帽

它？

（外面，留声机喧嚣地奏起《圣城》[ 407]。）

斯蒂芬

（唐突地）为了不从自我内部穿行[408] ，一直跋涉到世界尽头。天主，太阳，莎士比亚[409] ，推销员，走遍了现实，方成为自我本身。且慢。等一等。街上那家伙的喊叫[410] 真该死。预先就安排好不可避免地会成为这个样子。瞧！[411]

林奇

（发出哀鸣般的嘲笑声，朝着布卢姆和佐伊·希金斯咧嘴一笑。）多么渊博的一番演说啊，呃？

佐伊

（刻薄地）你的脑袋空空如也，他知道的比你忘掉的还多哩。

（弗洛莉·塔尔博特又胖又蠢地望着斯蒂芬。）

弗洛莉

人家说，世界未日[412]今年夏天就到了。

吉蒂

不会的。

佐伊

（哈哈大笑）伟大的天主好不公道啊！

弗洛莉

（不悦）喏，是报纸上登伪基督[413]的事时提到的。哦，我的脚好痒啊。

（破衣褴衫的赤足报童放着一只尾巴摆来摆去的风筝[414]，啪嗒啪嗒地跑过去，大声嚷着。）

报童们

最新消息。摇木马比赛的结果出来啦。皇家运河里出现了一条海蛇[415] 。伪基督平安抵达。

（斯蒂芬掉过身去，瞥见了布卢姆。）

斯蒂芬

一拍子、多拍子和半拍子。[416]

（吕便·杰·伪基督，一个流浪的犹太人，张开紧握着的手，接着脊梁骨，脚步蹒跚地走来。他腰上系着一只香客的行囊，露出约定支付的期票和遭到拒付的票据。肩上高高地扛着长长的船篙，一头钩着他那湿透了缩作一团的独子的裤裆，是刚从利菲河里救上来的。暮色苍茫中，跟潘趣·科斯特洛长得一模一样的妖怪翻着跟头滚了过来。他瘸腿，驼背，患有脑水肿，下巴突出，前额凹陷，长着阿里·斯洛珀[417] 式的鼻子。）

众人

哦？

妖怪

（下颚卡嗒卡嗒响着，蹿来蹿去，转动着眼珠，尖声叫着，像只大袋鼠般地跳跳蹦蹦，摊开双臂，仿佛要一把抓住什么似的。随即猛地从叉开的两腿间伸出他那张缺嘴唇的脸。）出来啦！笑面人。原始人！[418]（他发出苦修教士那种哀号，打转转。）先生们，女士们，请下赌注！[419]（他蹲下来，变戏法。从他手里飞出轮盘赌用的小行星。）来，赌个输赢！[420]（行星们相互碰撞，发出脆亮的噼噼啪啪声。）到此为止。[421]（行星们化为轻飘飘的气球，涨大并飞走。他跳进虚空，消失了。）

弗洛莉

（茫然失措，悄悄地连连画十字。）世界未日到了！

（从她身上散发出女性温吞吞的臭气。周围星云弥漫，一片朦朦。穿过飘浮在外面的雾，留声机的轰鸣压住了咳嗽声和嚓嚓的脚步声。）

留声机

耶路撒冷呀！

敞开城门唱吧：

和散那[ 422] …·

（焰火冲上天空，爆炸开。一颗白星从中坠下，宣告万物的终结和以利亚的再度来临。[423]从天顶到天底，紧紧绷着一根肉眼看不见的、没有尽头的绳子。“世界末日”——身穿苏格兰高地游猎侍从的百褶格子呢短裙和格子花呢服、头戴熊皮鸟缨高顶帽的双头章鱼[424] ，以“人的三条腿”[425] 的姿势头朝下顺着此绳在黑暗中旋转着。）

世界未日

（用苏格兰口音）谁来跳划船舞，划船舞，划船舞？[426]

（以利亚的嗓音像秧鸡般刺耳，在天际回荡，压住了一阵过堂风和哽噎般的咳嗽声。他身穿有着漏斗形袖子、宽宽松松的上等细麻布白色法衣，以执牧杖者的神气，汗涔涔地出现在悬挂着古老光荣之旗[ 427] 的讲坛上。他砰砰地敲着栏秆。）

以利亚

请不要在这间小屋子里吵吵嚷嚷。杰克·克兰、克雷奥利·休[428] 、达夫·坎贝尔、阿贝·基尔施内尔，你们要闭着嘴咳嗽。喏，这条干线完全由我来操纵。伙计们，现在就登记吧。上帝的时间[429] 是十二点二十五分。告诉母亲你们将会在那儿[430] 。赶紧去订，那才是捷足先登哪。就在这儿当场参加吧。买一张通往来世联轨点的直达票，一路上不停车。再说一句。你们是神呢，还是该死的傻瓜？基督一旦再度来到科尼艾兰[431] ，咱们准备好了吗？弗洛莉·基督、斯蒂芬·基督、佐伊·基督、布卢姆·基督、吉蒂·基督、林奇·基督，宇宙的力量应该由你们去感觉。我们害怕宇宙吗？不。要站在天使这边。[ 432] 当一面棱镜[433] 。你们内心里有那么一种更崇高的自我。你们能够跟耶稣、跟乔答摩[434] 、跟英格索尔[435] 平起平坐。你们统统处在这样的震颤中吗？我认为是这样。各位会众，你们一旦有所领悟，前往天堂的起劲愉快的兜风，就不赶趟儿了。你们明白我的意思吗？这确实是回春灵药。最强烈的玩艺儿。完整的果酱馅儿饼。再也没有比这更乖巧、伶俐的货色了。它是无穷无尽，无比豪华的。它使人恢复健康，生气勃勃。我知道，我也是个使人振奋者。且别开玩笑，归根结底，就是亚·约·基督·道维以及调和的哲学。诸位明白了吗？好的。六十九街西七十六号。明白我的意思了吗？对啦。随时都可以给我挂太阳电话。烂醉如泥的酒徒们，省下那邮票吧。（大嚷）那么，现在唱赞美歌吧。大伙儿都一道热情地唱吧。再来一个！（他唱起来。）耶路……

唱片

（压住他的声音）和路撒拉米牛亥和……（唱针磨擦唱片，吱吱嘎嘎响。）

三名妓女

（捂住耳朵，粗声喊着）啊咯咯咯！

以利亚

（挽起衬衫袖子，满脸乌黑[436]，高举双臂，声嘶力竭地嚷着）天上的大哥啊，总统先生，我刚才跟你说的话，你该听见了吧。我当然坚决相信你，总统先生。现在我确实认为，希金斯小姐和里凯茨小姐虔心信着教。说实在的，我从来也没见过像你这般吓得战战兢兢的女子，弗洛莉小姐，正如我刚才瞧见的那样。总统先生，你来帮我拯救咱们亲爱的姐妹们吧。（他朝听众眨巴眼睛。）咱们的总统先生对一切都了如指掌，可是他啥也不说。

吉蒂- 凯特

我一时控制不住自己，脆弱失足，在宪法山[ 437] 干下了那样的事，是主教为我行的坚振礼[438] ，［我还参加了褐色肩衣组织[439] 。] 我姨妈嫁给了蒙莫朗西[440] 家的人。我原是纯洁的，可一个管子工破坏了我的贞操。

佐伊- 范妮

为了逗趣儿，我让他把那物儿像鞭子似的塞到我里面。

弗洛莉一德肋撒

都是由于喝了亨尼西的三星[441] ，再掺上葡萄酒的缘故。当维兰[442] 溜进我的被窝之后，我就失了身。

斯蒂芬

太初有道[443] ，以迨永远，及世之世[444]。保佑八福[ 445] 。

（迪克森、马登、克罗瑟斯、科斯特洛、利内翰、班农、穆利根与林奇等八福，身穿外科医学生的白大褂，排成四路纵队，喧嚣地快步走过去。）

八福

（语无伦次地）啤酒，牛肉，斗犬，牛贩子，生意、酒吧、鸡奷，主教[446] 。

利斯特[447]

（身穿公谊会教徒的灰色短裤，头戴宽檐帽，慎重地）他是我们的朋友。我用不着提名道姓。你去寻求光[ 448] 吧。

（他踩着“科兰多”舞步[449] 过去了。贝斯特[450] 身穿理发师那浆洗得发亮的罩衣，鬈发上缠着卷发纸。他领着约翰·埃格林顿[451]走进来，后者穿的是印有蜥蜴形文字的黄色中国朝服，头戴宝塔式高帽。）

贝斯特

（笑吟吟地摘下帽子，露出剃过的头，脑顶翘起一条根部扎着橙黄蝴蝶结的辫子。）你们知道吗，我正在打扮他哪。美丽的事物[452] ，你们知道吗？这是叶芝说的——不，是济慈说的。

约翰·埃格林顿

（取出一盏绿罩暗灯，把灯光朝屋角晃。用挑剔的口吻）美学和化妆品是为闺房而设的。我要寻求的则是真理。朴素人的朴素真理。但德拉吉[453] 人要的是事实，而且非得到不可。

（在投射到煤篓后面的探照灯那圆锥形光束里，马南南·麦克李尔将下颚托在膝盖上，沉思默想着。[454] 他长着圣者的眼睛，奥拉夫般的脸上胡子拉碴的。他慢腾腾地站起来。从他那活像是德鲁伊特[455] 的嘴里冒出凛冽的海风，鳝鱼与小鳗鱼在他头部周围翻腾着。他身上覆满海藻和贝壳。右手握着一只自行车[456]打气筒。左手攥着一只巨大的蝲蛄的双爪。）

马南南·麦克李尔

（用波浪声）噢姆！嘿喀！哇嚕！啊喀！噜哺！摩啊！嘛！[457] 诸神的白色瑜咖僧。赫尔墨斯·特里斯美吉斯托斯的玄妙的《派曼德尔》[458]。（ 发出海风呼啸声）普纳尔甲纳穆·帕齐·潘·贾乌布！[459] 我决不受人愚弄。有人说：当心左边，对萨克蒂的膜拜。[460] （发出预告暴风雨的海燕的叫声）萨克蒂、湿婆、黑暗神秘之父！（他用打气筒敲打左手捏着的蝲蛄。他那只合作社的表盘上，黄道十二宫图在灼灼发光。他以海洋汹涌澎湃的势头大声哭号。）噢姆！咆姆！毗噍姆！我是家园的光！[461] 我是梦幻般的奶油状黄油[462] 。

（一只瘦骨嶙峋的犹大的手压住了光。绿光越来越淡。变成红紫色。煤气灯在吱吱地哀鸣。）

煤气灯

噗啊！噗咿咿咿咿咿咿！

（佐伊跑到枝形吊灯跟前，弯起一条腿，把灯罩摆摆正。）

佐伊

谁给我支烟抽？

林奇

（轻轻地往桌上丢一支烟）拿去。

佐伊

（佯装作傲慢地把头一歪）怎么能这样递东西给一位女士呢？（她不慌不忙地把烟卷捻松探过身去，就着火苗把它点上，露出腋窝里那簇褐色毛毛。林奇大胆地用拨火棍撩起她那半边套裙。袜带上边裸露出的肉，在天蓝色套裙的遮掩下，呈现出水中精灵的绿色。她安详地喷着烟雾。）你瞧见我屁股后头那颗美人痣了吗？

林奇

我没在看。

佐伊

（送着秋波）没看吗？光看还不过瘾哩。你要咂个柠檬吗？

（她装出一副羞答答的样子，斜眼望着布卢姆，朝他扭过身去，把被拨火棍勾住的套裙拽开。一片天蓝色液体重新流到她身上。布卢姆站在那儿，眼里露出贪馋的神色微笑着，摆弄两手的拇指。吉蒂·里凯茨用唾沫舔湿中指，对着镜子抹平双眉。皇家文书利波蒂·维拉格沿着壁炉烟囱的槽敏捷地滑下来，踩着粗糙的粉红色高跷，趾高气扬地朝左边迈两步。他身上紧紧地裹着几件大氅，外面罩着棕色胶布雨衣。雨衣下面，手里拿着个羊皮纸书卷。左眼上戴着卡什尔·博伊尔·奥康内尔·菲茨莫里斯·蒂斯代尔·法雷尔[463] 那闪闪发光的单片眼镜。他头顶埃及双冠[464] 。两耳上伸出两支鹅毛笔。）

维拉格

（脚跟并拢，鞠躬）我叫作维拉格·利波蒂，松博特海伊人。[465]（他若有所思地干咳了几声。）这里男女混杂，赤身露体，触目皆是，呃？我无意中瞥见了她的后身，说明她并没有穿你特别喜爱的那种贴身内衣。我希望你已瞅见了她大腿上注射的痕迹，呃？好吧。

布卢姆

爷爷[466] 。可是……

维拉格

另一方面，第二个姑娘，那涂了樱桃红唇膏，戴着白色头饰，头发上抹了不少咱们犹太族传统的侧柏[467] 灵液的，穿着散步衣。从她坐的姿势来看，想必是胸罩勒得紧紧的。也可以说是把脊梁骨掉到前面来了。如果我理解错了，请指出来。可我一向认为，那些轻佻女子隐隐约约地让你瞥见内衣。这种下体裸露狂患者的表现，正投你的所好。一句话，是半鹰半马的怪兽[468]。我说得对吗，

布卢姆

她太瘦啦。

维拉格

（不无愉快地）正是这样！观察得很细。裙子上撑出两个兜儿，略作陀螺形，是为了让屁股显得格外丰满。想必是刚从专门敲诈的大甩卖摊子上买的。钱也是从哪个冤大头手里骗来的。那是用来糊弄人的俗不可耐的玩艺儿。瞧她们怎样留意细小的斑点。今天能穿的，决不要拖到明天。视差！（神经质地扭动一下脑袋）你听见我的头卡嗒一声响了吗？多音节的绕嘴词！[469]

布卢姆

（手托臂肘，食指杵着面颊）她好像挺悲哀的。

维拉格

（讥消地，龇着鼬鼠般的黄板牙，用手指翻开左眼皮，扯着嘶哑的嗓音吼叫）骗子！当心这轻佻丫头和她假装出的悲伤。巷子里的百合[470] 。人人都有鲁亚尔杜斯·科隆博所发现的矢车菊。压翻她。[471] 让她变得像只鸽子。水性杨花的女人。（口吻温和了一些）喏，请你注意第三位吧。她的大部分身于都展现在眼前。仔细观察她脑壳上那簇用氧处理过的植物质吧。嗨哟，她撞着了[472] 。长腿大屁股，伙伴中的丑小鸭。

布卢姆

（懊悔不迭）偏偏我没带枪出来。

维拉格

不论是什么号的——宽松的，中等的，紧的，都能提供。只要出钱，随便挑。哪一个都能使你快乐[473] ……

布卢姆

哪一个……？

维拉格

（卷着舌头）利姆！[ 474] ）瞧，她可真丰满，浑身长了好厚的一层脂肪。从胸脯的份量看，她显然是个哺乳动物。你能看到她身子前面突出两个尺寸可观的大肉疙瘩，大得几乎垂进午饭的汤盆里。背后下身也有两个隆起的东西，看来直肠必是结实的。那两个鼓包摸着会给人以快感，唯一的美中不足是不够紧。注意保养就能使这个部位的肉厚实。要是关起来喂，肝脏就会长得像象那么大[475] 。把掺了胡芦巴[476] 和安息香的新鲜面包搓成小丸，浸泡在一剂绿茶里吞服，就能在短暂的一生中，自自然然长出一身肥膘，活像是个球形针插。这样该中你的意了吧，呃？使人馋涎欲滴的热腾腾的埃及肉锅[477] 。尽情享受吧。石松粉[ 478] 。（他的喉咙抽搐着。）恰好，他又干起来啦。[479]

布卢姆

我讨厌麦粒肿。

维拉格

（扬扬眉毛）他们说，用金戒指碰一下就好了。[480] 利用女性的弱点来辩论[481]这是旧日时罗马和古代希腊的狄普罗多库斯和伊赤泰欧扫罗斯[482] 担任执政官时所说的。此外，单靠夏娃的灵药就够了。非卖品。只供租借。胡格诺派[483] 。（抽动一下喉咙）好古怪的声音。（像是为了振作起来般地咳嗽）然而，这也许只不过是个瘊子。我想你还记得我曾经教过你的一个处方吧？小麦粉里掺上蜂蜜和肉豆蔲。

布卢姆

（仔细琢磨）小麦粉里搀上石松粉和希拉巴克斯[484] 。这可是个严峻的考验啊。

今天是个格外劳累的日子，一连串的灾难。且慢，我的意思是，您说过，瘊子血能使瘊子传播开来。……

维拉格

（鹰钩鼻子，眨巴着眼睛，严厉地）别再摆弄你那大拇指了，好好想想吧。瞧，你已经忘记了。运用一下你的记忆术吧。事业是神圣的。咯啦。嗒啦[485]。（旁白）他准会想起来的。

布卢姆

记得您提到过迷迭香和抑制寄生组织的意志力的事。那么，不，不，我想起来啦。让死者的手摸一下就能痊愈。记得吗？

维拉格

（兴奋地）可不是嘛。可不是嘛。正是这样。记忆术。（使劲拍打他那个羊皮纸书卷）此书详尽地告诉你该怎样处置。查查索引吧。用附子来治错乱性恐怖，用盐酸来治忧郁症，用白头翁来炼制春药。下面维拉格还要谈谈截肢术。我们的老友腐蚀剂。对瘊子要采取饥饿疗法。等它于瘪成空壳之后，用马鬃齐根勒掉。然而把论点移到保加利亚人和巴斯克人身上。关于喜不喜欢女扮男装，你究竟拿定主意了没有？[486]（干涩地窃笑）你曾打算花上一整年的时间来研究宗教问题。一八八六年夏季，你曾试图绘制一幅与圆形面积相等的正方形[487]，赢得那一百万英镑。石榴[488]！崇高和荒谬只有一步之差。[489]比方说，睡衣睡裤。或者垫有三角形布料的针织扎口死裆短裤？要么就是那种复杂的混合物——连裤女衬衣？（他嘲弄般地学鸡叫。）咯、咯尔、咯！

（布卢姆迟迟疑疑地环顾三名妓女，然后又盯着蒙了罩子的红紫色灯光，听着那飞个不停的蛾声。）

布卢姆

那么现在就该做出结论了。睡衣是从来也不。所以是这个样儿。不过，明天将是新的一天。过去曾经是今日。因此，到了明天，现在也会成为过去的昨天。

维拉格

（像是提词般地低声私语）蜉蝣在不断地交媾中度过短暂的一生。雌性的体态虽逊于雄性，背后那外阴部却是精美绝伦的，它被其气味所引诱。美丽的鹦鹉！[490] （他那鹦鹉的黄嘴用鼻音急促不清他说着）犹太历五五五0 年前后，喀尔巴阡山脉[491] 有过一句谚语。一大调羹蜂蜜要比六桶最高级的麦芽醋更能吸引熊先生。熊直哼哼，蜜蜂嫌吵。且慢。这容别的时候再接着说吧。我们这些局外人很高兴。（他咳嗽一声，低下头，用掏挖的手势若有所思地搓着鼻子）你会发现这些夜虫总是跟踪着灯光。这是错觉。要记住，它们长着无法调节的复眼。关于这些棘手的论点，可参看我著的《性科学原理，或爱的情欲》第十七卷。利·布·博士说，这是本年度最为轰动的一部书。举例来说，有些人的动作是自发的。深入领会。那是适合于他的太阳。夜鸟，夜阳，夜镇。追我吧，查理！（他朝布卢姆的耳朵嚷。）嗡嗡！

布卢姆

那天不知是蜜蜂还是青蝇，撞着了墙上的影子，撞晕了。于是迷迷糊糊地冲进了我的衬衫，害得我好苦……

维拉格

（面无表情，以圆润、女声女气的腔调笑着）妙极了！他的裤裆里藏着斑蟊，或者阴茎上贴着芥未软膏。（晃动着颈上那火鸡般的垂肉，并像火鸡似的贪婪地咯咯叫着）火鸡！火鸡！咱们说到哪儿来着？芝麻，开门！[492] 出来吧！（他麻利地打开那个羊皮纸书卷，读起来。他牢牢抓住书卷，萤火虫般的鼻于沿那文字倒着迅速地移动。[493]）且慢，好朋友，我给你带来了答案。咱们很快就能吃上红沙洲的牡蛎[494]了。我是手艺最高的厨师。这种有滋味的双壳贝对身体有好处，让无所不吃的猪先生去挖掘佩里戈尔[495]的块菌，那对神经衰弱和悍妇炎患者有着奇效。尽管发臭，却富于刺激性。（摇头晃脑，尖声讥笑着）滑稽啊。眼睛里塞进单片眼镜。[496] （他打了个喷嚏。）啊们！

布卢姆

（心不在焉地）妇女患的双壳贝病更厉害。什么时候都是开着的芝麻[497] 。裂开的女性[498] 。所以她们害怕虫子啦，爬虫动物什么的。然而夏娃和蛇却不然。这并不是史实吧。依我看，显然是以此类推。蛇对女人的奶也贪得无厌。它们从包罗万象的森林里婉蜒爬行好几英里前来，吱吱地把她的乳房吮干。就像在艾里芳图利亚里斯[499] 的作品中所读到的那些雄火鸡般滑稽的罗马婆娘似的。

维拉格

（嘴上吸出深深的皱纹，两眼像石头般绝望地紧闭着，以异国情调。用单音咏诵圣歌。）那些乳房胀鼓鼓的母牛，它们四远驰名……

布卢姆

我想要大声喊叫。请您原谅。哦？那么，（他重复一遍。）主动地去找到蜥蜴窝，以便供其贪婪地吸吮自己的乳房。蚂蚁吸蚜虫的奶水。（意味深长地）本能支配着世界。[500]不论生前，还是死后。

维拉格

（歪着头，脊背与隆起如翼状的肩膀，弯作弓形，鼓起昏花的两眼凝视着蛾，用触角股的指头指指点点，喊叫。）谁是蛾，蛾？谁是亲爱的杰拉尔德[501] ？亲爱的杰，是你吗？哦，哎呀，他就是杰拉尔德。哦，我非常担心他会被严重地烧伤。有人肯摇摇高级餐巾来防止这场灾难吗？（学猫叫）猫咪猫咪猫咪猫咪！（他叹口气，朝后退，下颚低垂，朝两旁斜晚着。）好的，好的。这家伙等下就会安静下来的。（望空猛地咬了一口。）

飞蛾

我是个小小东西，

永远翱翔在春季，

兜着圈子且嬉戏。

想当年，我曾登基，

到如今展开双翼，

天地间飞来飞去！

砰！（他冲向红紫色灯罩，喧噪地拍着翅膀。）漂亮、漂亮、漂亮、漂亮、漂亮、漂亮的衬裙。

（亨利·弗罗尔从左首上端的入口登场。他溜着脚步悄悄走了两步，来到左前方中央。他披着深色斗篷，头戴一顶垂着羽毛饰的墨西哥宽边帽。手执一把嵌了花纹的银弦大扬琴和一支有着长竹管的雅各烟斗[502] ，陶制的烟袋锅作女头状。他穿着深色天鹅绒紧身裤，浅口无带轻舞鞋有着银质饰扣。他的脸像是一位充满浪漫主义色彩的救世主，鬈发飘垂、胡子和口髭稀稀疏疏。一双细长的腿和麻雀脚活脱儿像是男高音歌手坎迪亚亲王马里奥[503]。 他理了理皱领的褶子，伸出好色的舌头舔湿了嘴唇。）

亨利

（一面拨弄吉他琴弦，一面以低沉动听的嗓音唱道）有一朵盛开的花[504]。

（蛮横的维拉格收拢起下巴，盯着灯。庄重的布卢姆端详着佐伊的脖颈。风流的亨利颈部的肉耷拉着，转向钢琴。）

斯蒂芬

（自言自语）闭上眼睛弹琴吧，学爸爸的样儿。把我的肚子填满猪食。这已经够受的了。我要起身，回到我的[505]。想必这就是。斯蒂夫，你可陷入了窘境。得去看望老迪希，要么就给他打个电报。我们今天早晨的会见给我留下了深刻的印象。尽管我们的年龄。明天我将尽情地写出来。说起来，我真有点儿醉啦。（他又碰一下键盘。）这一次是小三和弦。是的。醉得还不厉害。

（阿尔米达诺·阿尔蒂弗尼一边精神抖擞地抨着口鹿，一边伸出用乐谱卷成的指挥棒。）

阿尔蒂弗尼

好好考虑一下吧。你毁掉了一切。[506]

弗洛莉

给咱唱点什么吧。《古老甜蜜的情歌》。[ 507]

斯蒂芬

没有嗓子。我是个最有才能的艺术家。林奇，我给你看过关于古琵琶[508] 的那封信了吗？

弗洛莉

（假笑）一只会唱可是不肯唱的鸟儿呗。

（在牛津大学做特别研究员的一对连体双胞胎：醉汉菲利普和清醒菲利普[509] 拿着推草机出现在漏斗状斜面墙上的窗口。两个人都戴着马修·阿诺德[510]的假面具。）

清醒菲利普

接受一个傻子的忠告吧。有点不对头。用铅笔头数数看，像个乖乖的小傻瓜那样。你有三镑十二先令。两张纸币，一英镑的金币，两克朗。倘若年轻人有经验。[511] 城里的穆尼酒馆，海岸上的穆尼，莫伊拉那一家，拉切特那一家，[512] 霍尔街医院，伯克[513]。呃？我在盯着你哪。

醉汉菲利普

（不耐烦地）啊，瞎说，你这家伙。下地狱去吧！我没欠过债。我要是能够弄明白八音度是怎么回事就好了。双重人格。是谁把他的名字告诉我的呢？（他的推草机开始嗡嗡地响起来。）啊哈，对啦。我的在命，我爱你。[514] 我觉得先前到这儿来过。是什么时候来着？他不姓阿特金森[515] ，我有他的名片，不知放在哪儿啦。叫作麦克什么的。想起来了，叫昂马克。他跟我谈起过——且慢，是斯温伯恩[516]吧，对吗？

弗洛莉

那么，歌儿呢？

斯蒂芬

心灵固然愿意，肉体却是软弱的。[ 517]

弗洛莉

你是梅努斯毕业的吗？你跟我过去认识的一个人长得可像哩。

斯蒂芬

如今已经毕业啦。（自言自语）脑袋瓜儿挺灵。

醉汉菲利普与清醒菲利普

（他们的推草机嗡嗡响着，草茎随之轻快地跳跃起来。）脑袋瓜儿一向挺灵。已经毕业啦，已经毕业啦。顺便问一声，你可有那本书，那玩艺儿，那根梣木手杖吗？对，就在那儿。脑袋瓜儿一向挺灵，如今已经毕业了。要保持下去。像我们这样。

佐伊

前天晚上有个教士到这儿来办点事。他把上衣钮扣扣得严严实实的。我对他说，你用不着那么躲躲闪闪的。我认得出你那脖领是天主教教士的。

维拉格

从他的角度来说，这完全是理所当然的。人的堕落。（愤怒地瞪大眼睛，厉声地）让教皇下地狱去！太阳底下没有新鲜事。[518] 我就是曾经揭露出僧侣与处女的性之秘密的那个维拉格。因此，我脱离了罗马教会。读读那本《神父、女人与忏悔阁子》[519] 吧。彭罗斯[520] 。弗力勃铁·捷贝待[521]。（他扭动身子。）女人带着甜蜜的羞涩解开灯心草编的腰带，将湿透了的阴部献给男子的阳物。少顷，男子赠与女人丛林之中的几片兽肉。女悦，以带羽之皮遮身。男人用大而硬的阳物热烈爱抚女人之阴部。（他大喊。）我是被迫首肯的。[522] 于是，轻浮的女人四处乱跑。强壮的男人抓住女人的手脖子。女人尖声呼叫，又咬又啐[ 523]。此刻，男人怒气冲天，揍女人那肥胖的臀部[524]。（他追逐自己的屁股。）唏噼！啵啵！（他停下脚步，打喷嚏。）哈哧！（他咬住自己的屁股，晃悠着。）噗噜噜！

林奇

我希望你让那位好神父用苦行来赎罪。飞个主教[525]，就要罚他念九遍《荣耀颂》。

佐伊

（从鼻孔中喷出海象般的烟雾）他根本搞不了。你知道，仅仅兴奋一阵。干巴巴地摩擦一通罢了。

布卢姆

可怜的人哪！

佐伊

（满不在意地）他就能这样嘛。

布卢姆

怎样呢？

维拉格

（龇牙咧嘴，冒出恶魔般的黑光，歪扭着脸，朝前伸着骨瘦如柴的脖子。他仰起妖精[526] 般的鼻子眼，怒吼。）可恶的基督教徒们！[527] 他有个父亲，四十个父亲[528] 。他从来也没存在过。猪神！他长着两只左脚[529] 。他是犹大·伊阿其阿[530] ，一个利比亚的宦官，教皇的私生子。（他身倚扭曲了的前爪，僵硬地弯着臂，扁平的骷髅脖颈上端是一双神色痛苦的眼睛，朝沉默的世界叫喊。）婊子的儿子。《启示录》。

吉蒂

玛丽·肖特尔被蓝帽[531] 吉米·皮金传染上了梅毒，住进了花柳病医院。她还跟那家伙生了个娃娃，连奶都不会咽。因惊风在被窝里憋死了。我们大家捐钱，给办的葬事。

醉汉菲利普

（严肃地）谁使你落到这步田地的呢，菲利普？[532]

清醒菲利普

（快活地）是由于神圣的鸽子，菲利普[533] 。

（吉蒂摘下帽子上的饰针，安详地把帽子撂下，拍了拍她那用散沫花染过的头发。从没见过一个娼妓肩上披散着这么一头秀美漂亮、光艳动人的鬈发呢。林奇把她的帽子戴在自己的头上。她把它扒拉下去。）

林奇

（笑）令人高兴的是，梅奇尼科夫[534] 在类人猴身上接了种。

弗洛莉

（点头）运动机能失调了。

佐伊

（快活地）哦，我得翻翻字典。

林奇

三位聪明的处女[535] 。

维拉格

（因疟疾犯了打起冷颤，喷出大量的淡黄色鱼卵。他那皮包骨的患癫痫的嘴唇上冒着泡。）她贩卖春药、白蜡、香橙花。一个名叫“豹”的罗马百人队长[536]用自己的生殖器把她玷污了。（他手按在胯间，伸出闪烁着光的蝎子般的舌头。）救世主啊！他弄破了她的膜[537] 。（他叽叽喳喳地发出狒狒的叫声，玩世不恭地抽搐着，扭动着屁股。）嘻咳！嘿咳！哈咳！嗬咳！呼咳！喀咳！咕咳！

（本·大象·多拉德走向前来。他生得红脸膛，肌肉僵硬，鼻孔里毛茸茸的，大胡子，白菜耳朵，胸脯多毛，头发蓬乱，奶头肥大。腰部和生殖器紧紧地箍在黑色的游泳裤里。）

本·多拉德

（肥胖的大手奏着骨制响板，愉快地用约德尔唱法发出低沉的桶音）。当狂恋使我神魂颠倒之际。

（两个处女——卡伦护士与奎格利护士猛地冲过竞技场的管理员和拦绳，张开双臂朝他扑来。）

处女们

（极度热情地）大本钟！本，我的心肝儿[538] ！

一个声音

抓住那个穿不像样子的裤子的家伙。

本·多拉德

（拍着大腿哈哈大笑）马上把他抓住。

亨利

（怀里抱着一具砍下来的女头，边爱抚着边喃喃自语）你的心，我的爱。（拨弄着古琵琶弦）当我初见……[539]

维拉格

（蜕皮，大量羽毛脱落下来）混蛋！（他打个哈欠，露出漆黑的喉咙，用羊皮书卷卷成的圆筒朝上一顶，闭上口腔。）说完这些，我就告辞了。再见。多多保重。狗屁！[540]

（亨利·弗罗尔用随身携带的梳子迅速地梳理口髭和胡于，并蘸着唾沫抹平头发。他用长剑掌舵，疾步向门口走去，背后挎着荒腔走调的竖琴。[541] 维拉格翘起尾巴，像踩高跷般笨拙地跳了两下，来到门边。他熟练地在墙上斜贴了一张黄脓液色的传单，用头顶着按紧。）

传单

吉·11。禁止招贴。严加保密。亨利·弗兰克斯大夫：[542] 。

亨利

现在一切都失去啦。[543]

（维拉格转瞬间取下螺丝，摘掉自己的头，夹在腋下。）

维拉格的头

庸医！

（二人分别退场。）

斯蒂芬

（侧过头来对佐伊说）你大概会更喜欢创立了新教异端邪说的那个好斗的牧师[544] 吧。但是要当心犬儒学派的安提西尼[545]和异教祖师爷阿里乌的最后下场。在厕所里所受的死的痛苦。[546]

林奇

对她来说，是同一个神。

斯蒂芬

（虔诚地）而且是支配万物的至高无上的主。

弗洛莉

（对斯蒂芬）你准是个酒肉神父。要么就是个修士。

林奇

可不是嘛。一位红衣主教的儿子。

斯蒂芬

犯了大罪[547] 。不守清规的修士们[548] 。

（全爱尔兰首席红衣主教、西蒙·斯蒂芬·迪达勒斯大人在门口出现。他身着红色法衣、短袜便鞋。担任助祭的小人猿——即七样大罪，也穿红衣，捧着他的衣裾，从下面窥伺。他头上歪戴着一顶压扁了的大礼帽。他张开手掌，把大拇指戳在腋窝里，脖子上挂着一串软木塞制成的念珠，末端是一把十字架形的螺丝锥，垂在胸前。他撒开大拇指，从高处以波浪状大摇大摆的姿势祈求神灵保佑，并趾高气扬、装模作样地宣告。）

红衣主教

康瑟维奥陷囹囿，

躺在地牢深又深，

手铐脚镣戴在身，

重量又何止三吨。[549]

（他右眼紧闭，鼓起左颊，朝众人望了片刻。然后抑制不住内心的快乐，就双手叉腰，浑身晃来晃去，嘻嘻哈哈地畅怀唱着。）

噢，可怜的小东西，

它、它的脚那么黄，

蹿动如蛇身宽胖，

可该死的野蛮人，

为了给白菜添油荤，

竟把内莉·弗莱厄蒂的爱鸭屠宰[550] 。

（大群小虫白糊糊地簇拥在他的法衣上。他交抱着胳膊，抓挠着双肋，愁眉苦脸地叫唤。）

我正在受着被打入地狱的苦难。凭着这把廉价的提琴发誓，感谢耶稣，这帮可笑的小家伙还没有一起出动。不然的话，它们就会使我离开这该死的地球啦。

（他歪着头，用食指和中指敷敷衍衍地祝福众人，并给予复活节的亲吻。他边来回晃动着帽子，边拖着滑稽的双舞步溜走。转瞬间他的个子就缩到捧衣裾者那么小了。那些助祭的侏儒哧哧地笑着，窥伺着，用肘轻捅着，挤眉弄眼，或给予复活节之吻，跟在他后面走成“之”字形。从远处传来他那圆润嗓音，慈祥而充满阳刚之气，优美动听。）

把我的心带给你，

把我的心带给你，

馨香微风夜飘溢，

把我的心带给你！[551]

（魔门的把手转了一下。）

门把手

吱咿——！

佐伊

门里有魔鬼。

（一个男子的身影走下咯吱作响的楼梯。传来他从挂钩上取下雨衣和帽子的声音。布卢姆不由自主地冲向前，顺便把门半掩上，从兜里掏出巧克力，怯生生地朝佐伊递过去。）

佐伊

（起劲地嗅他的头发）唔！谢谢你母亲送给我的兔子。我喜欢什么东西，简直就着了迷。

布卢姆

（听见一个男人在门阶上同妓女们交谈的声音，便竖起两耳。）假若是他呢？干完了吗？要么是没搞？要么就是吃回头草？

佐伊

（撒开银纸）没有叉子以前就有指头了。（她掰下一截，啃起来，递给吉蒂·里凯茨一截，又像只小猫咪似的转向林奇。）不讨厌法国菱形糖果吧？（他点点头。她吊他的胃口）。是现在要，还是等把它弄到手呢？（他扬起头，张开嘴。她把奖赏朝左边转，他的头跟着转过去。她又把它朝右边转过来。他盯着她。）接住！

（她抛起一截巧克力。他敏捷地叼住它，嘎吱一声咬下一块。）

吉蒂

（咀嚼着）在义卖会[ 552] 上跟我在一道的那位工程师有好吃的巧克力。里面满是高级甜露酒。总督也带着夫人去啦[553] 。我们骑上托夫特的旋转木马，好开心哪。至今我还发晕呢。

布卢姆

（身穿斯文加利[ 554] 式的皮大衣，交抱双肘，前额上垂着拿破仑式鬈发。他双眉紧皱，念着腹语术的驱邪咒文，用老鹰般锐利的目光凝视着门。然后僵直地迈出左脚，右臂顺着左肩滑下来，用咄咄逼人的指头在空中迅速地一划，做了老练的师傅[555] 的暗号。）不管你是谁，我借着法术命令你：走，走，走！

（穿过外面的雾，传来一个男子边咳嗽边逐渐走远的脚步声。布卢姆的表情变得松弛了。他一只手插迸背心，安详地摆好姿势。佐伊将巧克力朝他递过去。）

布卢姆

（一本正经地）谢谢。

佐伊

叫你怎么做，你就怎么做吧。给！

（从楼梯上传来坚定的脚步橐橐声。）

布卢姆

（接巧克力）是春药吗？艾菊与薄荷。可这是我买的呀。香子兰是镇静剂呢，还是？能够增进记忆。光线混乱，连记忆都混乱了。红色对狼疮有效。[ 556] 颜色能够左右女人的性格，倘若她们有性格的话。这黑色使我难过。为了明天，吃喝玩乐吧。[557]（他吃起来。）淡紫色也对口味产生影响。可已经过了那么久啦，自从我。所以觉得那么新鲜。春。那个教士。准会来的。晚来总比不来强。我在安德鲁斯试试块菌吧。[558]

（门开了。贝拉·科恩，一个大块头老鸨走了进来。她身穿半长不短的象牙色袍子，褶边上镶着流苏。像《卡门》中的明妮·豪克[559]那样扇起一把黑色角质柄扇子来凉快一下。左手上戴着结婚戒指和护圈。眼线描得浓浓的。她长着淡淡的口髭，那橄榄色的脸蛋厚厚实实，略有汗意。鼻子老大，鼻子、是橙色的。她戴着一副绿玉的大坠子。）

贝拉

唉呀！我浑身出着臭汗。

（她环顾一对对男女。然后，日光停在布卢姆身上，一个劲儿地端详着他。她手中那把大扇子不住地朝她那热腾腾的脸、脖子和富富态态的身躯上扇着。她那双鹰隼般的眼睛发出锐利的光。）

扇子

（起先迅速地，接着又缓慢地挥动[560] 。）喔，结过婚的。

布卢姆

是的。并不完全，阴错阳差的……

扇子

（先打开一半，然后一边阖上一边说）太太当家。夫人统治。

布卢姆

（垂下两眼，怯懦地咧嘴笑着）可不是嘛。

扇子

（折叠起来，托着她左边的耳坠子）你忘记我了吗？

市卢姆

没。哦。[561]

扇子

（阖拢，斜顶着腰肢）你原先梦想过的她，就是我吗？那么，她和他是在你跟咱们相识之后吗？我现在是所有的女人，又是同一个女人吗？

（贝拉走过来，轻轻地用扇子拍打着。）

布卢姆

（畏缩）好厉害的人儿。她看到了我眼中那种睡意，那正是使女人们着迷的。[562]

扇子

（轻轻拍打着）咱们相遇了。你是我的。这是命运。

布卢姆

（被吓退）精力充沛的女人。我非常渴望受你的统治。我已精疲力竭，心灰意懒，不再年轻了。我像是手持一封尚未投递的信函，上面按规章贴着特别的邮资[563]， 站在人生这所邮政总局所设的迟投函件邮筒前。按照物体坠落的规律，门窗开成直角形便导致每秒钟三十二英尺的穿堂风。这会儿我感到左臀肌的坐骨神经痛。这是我们这个家族的遗传。可怜亲爱的爸爸，一个鳏夫，每逢犯病就能预知天气的变化。他相信动物能保暖。冬天他穿的背心是用斑猫皮做里子的。快死的时候，他想起大卫王和舒念的故事[564]，就跟阿索斯睡在一起。他去世后，这条狗也一直忠于他。狗的唾沫，你大概[565] ……（他退缩）啊！

里奇·古尔丁

（挟着沉重的文件包，从门口经过）弄假成真。在都柏林说得上是最实惠的。足可以招待一位王爷。[566] 肝和腰子。

扇子

（轻轻拍打）什么事都得有个结局。做我的心上人吧。现在。

布卢姆

（犹豫不决）现在就？那个避邪物我不该撒手。雨啦，曝露在海边岩石上的露水里啦。到了我这把年纪，竟还闹了那么个过失。所有的现象都是自然的原因造成的。

扇子

（慢慢地朝下指着）你可以动手了。

布卢姆

（朝下望去，瞧见她把靴带松开了）咱们可是在众目睽睽之下。

扇子

（迅速地朝下指着）你非动手不可。

布卢姆

（既有意，又忸怩）我会打地道的黑花结。是在凯利特的店[567] 里当伙计，管发送邮购货物的时候学的。熟练着呢。每个结子都各有各的名堂。我来吧。算是尽一片心意。今天我已经跪过一回啦。啊！

（贝拉略提起衣据，摆好架势，把蹬着半高腰靴的胖蹄子和穿丝袜的丰满的骹举到椅边。上了岁数的布卢姆腿脚僵硬，伏在她的蹄子上，用柔和的手指替她把靴带穿出穿进。）

布卢姆

（温柔地咕哝着）我年轻时候做的一个心爱的梦，就是在曼菲尔德[568]当上一名替人试鞋的伙计。克莱德街[ 569] 的太太们那缎子衬里的考究的小山羊皮靴简直小得出奇，令人难以置信。我为那靴子扣上钮扣，把带子十字交叉地一直系到齐膝盖，那就别提有多么快活啦。我甚至曾每天去参观雷蒙德的蜡人，欣赏妇人脚上穿的那种巴黎式蛛网状长筒袜和大黄茎般光滑的脚趾尖。

蹄子

闻闻我这热腾腾的山羊皮气味吧。掂掂我这沉甸甸的份量。

布卢姆

（十字交叉地系着活扣儿）太紧了吧？

蹄子

你要是弄不好，可就汉迪·安迪[570] ，我朝你的要害处踢上一脚。

布卢姆

可别像那个晚上在义卖会的舞会上似的，穿错了眼儿。倒楣。穿到她——就是您说的那一位——的鞋扣环里去了……当天晚上她遇到了……好啦！

（他系好了靴带。贝拉将脚撂到地板上。布卢姆抬起头来。她那胖脸，她的两眼从正面逼视着他。他的目光呆滞，暗淡下来，眼皮松弛，鼻翼鼓起。）

布卢姆

（嗫嚅着）先生们，听候各位的吩咐……

贝洛

（像怪物小王[571]那样恶狠狠地瞪着他，然后用男中音[572] 说）不要脸的狗！

布卢姆

（神魂颠倒地）女皇！

贝洛

（他那胖嘟嘟的腮颊松垂下来。）通奸的臀部的崇拜者！

布卢姆

（可怜巴巴地）硕大无比！

贝洛

贪吃大粪的人！

布卢姆

（半屈膝）庄严崇高！

贝洛

弯下身去！（他用扇子拍打她的肩膀）。双脚向前屈！左脚向后退一步！你会倒下的。正在倒。手扶地，趴下！

布卢姆

（眼睛往上翻，表示仰慕，边闭眼边大叫）块菌！

（随着一声癫痫性的喊叫，她趴了下来，呼噜呼噜直喘，喷着鼻子，刨着脚跟前的地。然后双目紧闭，眼睑颤动，以无比娴熟的技巧把身子弯成弓形，装死躺下。）

贝洛

（头发剪得短短的，紫色的肉垂了下来。剃过的唇边是一圈浓密的口髭。打着登山家的绑腿，身穿有着银钮扣的绿色上衣和运动裙，头戴饰有公赤松鸡羽毛的登山帽。双手深深插进裤兜，将脚后跟放在她的脖颈上，嘎吱嘎吱地踩着。）脚凳！让你知道一下我的份量。奴才，你的暴君那灿烂的脚后跟骄傲地翘立着，闪闪发光。你在这王座前叩拜吧。

布卢姆

（慑服，颤声说）我发誓，永远不违背您的旨意。

贝洛

（朗笑）天哪！你还不知道会落到什么样的下场哪。我就是那个决定你这贱人的命运、要你就范的鞑靼人！老儿子，我敢打赌，要是不能把你收拾出个样子，就情愿请大家喝一通肯塔基鸡尾酒。你敢顶撞我一下试试。那你就穿上运动服浑身打着哆嗦等挨一顿脚后跟的惩罚吧。

（布卢姆钻到沙发底下，偷偷从缘饰的缝隙间窥伺。）

佐伊

（摊开裙裾，遮住布卢姆）她不在这儿。

布卢姆

（阖上眼睛）她不在这儿。

弗洛莉

（用长衫藏起布卢姆）贝洛先生，她不是故意的。老爷，她会放乖的。

吉蒂

不要对她太凶狠啦，贝洛先生。老爷，您准不会的。

贝洛

（用好话引逗着）来呀，好乖乖，我有话跟你说，亲爱的，我不过是训斥你两句罢了。咱们说点儿知心话吧，心肝儿。（布卢姆胆怯地探出头来。）这才是个好姑娘。（贝洛粗暴地一把揪住她的头发，把她硬往前边拽。）我只是为你好，才想在那个又软和又安全的地方来整治你一下。你那嫩屁股怎样啦？哦，宝贝儿，我只不过轻轻儿地爱抚一下。开始准备吧。

布卢姆

（快晕过去了）可别把我劈成两半……

贝洛

（狂暴地）笛子吹奏起来的当儿，我要让你像努比亚奴隶[573] 似的，把套鼻圈、用老虎钳来夹、打脚掌、吊钩、鞭打的滋味，全都尝个够。这回可叫你赶上啦。我得让你至死也忘不了我。（他额上暴起青筋，脸上充血。）每天早晨我先进一顿包括马特森[574] 的煎肥火腿片和一瓶吉尼斯黑啤酒的讲究的早餐，接着就跨在你的背上，只当那是铺了绒垫的鞍子。（他打个嗝。）然后，我一边读《特许饮食业报》[575]，一边吸着证券交易所的高级雪茄烟。我很可能会叫人在我的马房里把你宰掉，把你的肉用扦子串起来，涂上油，放在马口铁罐里，烤得像乳猪似的又松又脆；配上米饭、柠檬或蘸着醋栗酱，津津有味地吃它一片。够你受的吧。

（贝洛拧布卢姆的胳膊，把她摔个仰八脚儿。布卢姆尖声呼叫。）

布卢姆

别这么残忍，护士！别这么样！

贝洛

（拧着）再来一遍！

布卢姆

（尖叫）哦，简直是活地狱啊！我浑身疼得发狂！

贝洛

（大喊）好哇！凭着扭屁股跳跳蹦蹦的将军！这可是六个星期以来我听到的最好的消息。混蛋！别耽搁我的工夫。（他掴了她个耳光。）

布卢姆

抽噎地诉说）你打我啦。我要去告你……

贝洛

按住这家伙，姑娘们，我要跨在这家伙身上。

佐伊

对。踩这家伙吧！我给你按住。

弗洛莉

我来按。别那么贪心。

吉蒂

不，我来。把这家伙借给我。

（妓院厨娘基奥大妈在门口出现。她满脸皱纹，胡子花白，系着满是油垢的围裙，脚穿男人的灰绿相间的短袜和生皮翻毛鞋，裸露着通红的胳膊，手里攥着一根巴满生面的擀面杖。）

基奥大妈

（凶狠地）我能帮上忙吗？

（众人抓住布卢姆，紧紧按住。）

贝洛

（咕哝一声，一屁股坐在布卢姆那仰着的脸上，一口口猛喷着雪茄烟，揉着胖胖的小腿。）我晓得基廷·克莱被选作里奇蒙精神病院[576]副院长啦。顺便说一句，吉尼斯的特惠股份是十六镑四分之三[577]。我真是个笨蛋，竟没把克雷格和加德纳[578] 同我谈起的那一股买下来。真是倒楣透顶，他们的。可是那匹该死的没有希望赢的“丢掉”[579]，居然以二十博一获胜了。（他气冲冲地在布卢姆的耳朵上掐灭雪茄烟。）那只该死的混帐烟灰缸哪儿去啦？

布卢姆

（受尽折磨，被屁股压得透不过气来。）唉！唉！禽兽！残酷的家伙！

贝洛

叫你每隔十分钟就央告一次。乞求吧。使出吃奶的劲儿来祈求吧。（他攥起拳头，然后把臭哄哄的雪茄烟夹在指间[580]，表示轻蔑地伸过来。）喂，吻一吻。两样都吻。（他迈开一条腿，跨坐在布卢姆身上，像骑士那样用双膝紧紧夹着布卢姆，厉声喊。）驾！骑上木马摇啊摇，摇到班伯里十字路口。[581]我要骑着这家伙到埃克里普斯的有奖赛马场上去。（他把身子弯向一边，粗暴地攥住坐骑的睾丸，喊着。）嗬！向前冲呀。我要照正规方式训练你。（他像是跨坐在木马上似的，在鞍上蹦蹦跳跳。）小姐碎步款款行，马夫驾车快步走，老爷骑马直奔跑，奔跑，奔跑、奔跑。

弗洛莉

（指指贝洛）该让我骑了。你已经骑够啦。我比你先开的口。

佐伊

（拽拽弗洛莉）我。我。你还没够吗，吸血鬼！

布卢姆

（奄奄一息）不行啦。

贝洛

唔，我还没够呢。慢着。（他屏住气。）混帐。喏。这只塞子快要崩掉了。（他拔掉屁股后头的塞子，然后，扭歪着脸，放个响屁。）接着！（重新塞好）是啊，天哪，十六镑四分之三。

布卢姆

（浑身淌满汗水）不是男人。（嗅着。）是个女人哩。

贝洛

（站起来）别这么三心二意的。你所梦寐以求的，终于实现啦。从此，你不再是男人，却真正属于我了，并被套上了轭。[582] 这会儿穿上你的惩戒服吧。你得脱掉你那男人衣服，明白吗，鲁碧·科恩？你要穿上这身闪光绸，头上和肩上都窸窣作响，雍容华贵。而且马上就换！

布卢姆

（畏缩起来）太大说是绸子！哦，窸窸窣窣、沙啦沙啦的！难道我得用指尖悄悄地摸吗？

贝洛

（指着他那帮妓女）看到她们现在的样子了吧，你也将跟她们一样。[583] 戴上假发，用火剪卷边，洒香水，擦香粉，腋窝剃得光光溜溜的。用卷尺贴身替你量尺寸。你将被狠狠地塞进胸部有着鲸骨架、活像老虎钳子的淡红灰色斜纹帆布紧身衣里，带子一直勒到尽头——装饰着钻石的骨盆那儿。你的身材比放任自流的时候要来得丰满，将把它束缚在网眼的紧身衣里，另外还有那二英两重的漂亮衬裙和流苏什么的，上面当然都标着我家的徽记。为艾丽斯做的漂亮亚麻布衬衣，和为她准备的上等香水。艾丽斯会伸手去摸摸吊袜带。玛莎和玛丽亚[584]腿上穿得那么薄，起先会觉得有儿凉。可你那光着的膝盖周围一旦用薄丝带镶起褶边，就会使你想到……

布卢姆

（一个娇媚的女仆，双颊厚厚地涂了脂粉，芥未色头发，长着一双男人的手和鼻子，眼睛斜睨着。）在霍利斯街的时候，我只半开玩笑地试穿过两次她的衣服。那阵子我们手头紧，为了省下洗衣店那笔开销，我都是亲自洗。我还翻改自己的衬衫。过的是最节省不过的日子。

贝洛

（嘲笑）是为了让妈妈高兴才做的吧，呃？然后把百叶窗拉严，身上只穿件化装舞衣，对着镜子，轻佻地卖弄你那脱了裙子的大腿和公山羊的乳房，做出各种委身的姿势，呃？哈哈，我不得不笑。米莉亚姆·丹德拉德太太[585]在谢尔本饭店卖给你的那件黑色旧高级敞领衬衣和短裤，上次被她[586]强奸的时候全都绽线了吧，呃？

布卢姆

米莉亚姆。黑色的。名声不好的女人。

贝洛

（大笑）伟大的基督，这简直太逗啦！你把后门的毛剃干净，盖上那玩艺儿，晕倒在床上的时候，可真成了美人儿米莉亚姆啦。活像是即将被下面这些人强奸的丹德拉德太大。他们是：斯迈思- 斯迈思陆军中尉、下院议员菲利普·奥古斯塔斯·布洛克维尔先生、健壮的男高音拉西·达列莫[587]先生、开电梯的蓝眼睛伯特、因获得戈登·贝纳特奖杯[588]而扬名的亨利·弗勒里、曾在三一学院的大学代表队做过滑艇第八号选手的黑白混血大富豪谢里登、她那只漂亮的纽芬兰狗庞托，以及马诺汉密尔顿[589]公爵遗孀鲍勃斯。（他又大笑一阵。）哎呀，连暹罗猫都给招笑了。

布卢姆

（她活动着双手和五官。）当我念高中的时候，曾在《颠倒》[590]这出戏里扮演过女角。那回，杰拉尔德[591] 使我真正变成一个胸衣爱好者，对，就是亲爱的杰拉尔德。他对姐妹的紧身褡着了迷，养成了这么个怪毛病。如今可爱的杰拉尔德擦粉红色的油彩，还把眼睑涂成金色的。这是对美的崇拜。

贝洛

（不正经地嘻笑着）美！当你撩起裙子巨浪式的荷叶边，以女人特有的细心坐到打磨得光光滑滑的宝座上的时候，连气儿都喘不过来了！

布卢姆

这是一门科学。把我们各自享受的形形色色的快乐比较一下。（热切地）说实在的，还是那个姿势好一些……因为过去我常常弄湿……

贝洛

（严厉地）不许顶嘴！角落里为你准备好锯末了。我不是严格地指示过你吗？站着干，老兄！我要教你像个骗子那样干！你敢在襁褓上留点污痕试试。哎嘿！凭着多兰的驴[592] 发誓，你会发现我是个纪律严明的人。你过去的罪恶会起来声讨你。很多。好几百桩。

过去的罪恶

（声音混杂中）他在黑教堂[ 593] 的阴影中，至少跟一个女人偷偷举行了婚礼。他一边对公共电话阁子的电话机做猥亵的举动，一边在精神上给居住在多利尔某号的邓恩小姐[594] 打电话，说些不堪入耳的话。他还公然用言语和行动来怂恿暗娼把粪便和其他污物丢到空房旁边龌龊的厕所里。在五个公共厕所里，他都用铅笔写道，愿为一切身体强壮之男子提供本人的妻子。难道他不曾每夜在发散异臭的硫酸工厂[ 595] 附近，从一对对热恋着的情侣身边走过，想碰碰运气，巴不得多少能看到点儿什么吗？难道这头肥公猪不曾躺在床上，用姜汁饼和邮政汇票来鼓励一个讨厌的妓女，让她提供用过好多遍令人作呕的草纸，并躺在床上馋涎欲滴地盯视它吗？

贝洛

（大声吹口哨）喂！在你这罪恶的生涯中，最使人恶心的淫荡行为是什么？统统说出来。吐个干净！这回可要老老实实他讲。

一张张沉默、冷酷的脸拥过来，有的斜眼瞅着，有的在逐渐消失，有的在嘲笑着。波尔迪·德·科克[596] ，靴子带儿一便士[597] ，卡西迪的老妪[598] ，盲青年[599] ，拉里·莱诺塞罗斯[600]，姑娘，妇女，娼妓，另外还有……）

布卢姆

不要问我！咱们共同的信仰。[601] 普莱曾茨街。我只转了一半念头……我凭着神圣的誓约保证……

贝洛

（断然地）回答！你这讨人嫌的下贱货！我非知道不可。给我讲点开心的事：不论是猥亵的，还是血淋淋、顶刮刮的鬼故事，要么就来上一行诗。快，快，快！在哪儿发生的？用什么方法？什么时候？跟多少人？我只给你三秒钟。一！二！三！……

布卢姆

（俯首贴耳，喉咙里发出咯咯声）我下、下、下作地嗅了讨、讨、讨厌的东西……

贝洛

（专横地）哦，给我滚出去，你这贱人！住口！问到你，再回答。

布卢姆

（鞠躬）老爷！太太！驯服男子的人！

（他举起双臂。手镯落地。）

贝洛

（刻薄地）白天，你把我们那一套套臭哄哄的内衣衬裤泡在水里捶打。我们这些夫人们不舒服的时候，也得你来伺候。你还得撩起衣服，屁股后头拴块搌布，替我们擦茅房。那该有多么称心啊！（他把一枚红玉戒指套在她的手指上。）这就好啦！戴上这戒指，你就属于我啦。说：谢谢您，太太。

布卢姆

谢谢您，太太。

贝洛

你得为我们叠被铺床，替我准备澡水，倒各间房里的尿罐，包括老厨娘基奥那只沙色的。对，你还得记住把七只尿罐都好好涮一遍，或当作香槟酒那样舔个干净。把我撒的尿趁热喝下去。你得麻麻利利、低三下四地伺候着，不然的话，我就训斥你不懂规矩。鲁碧[602]小姐，我要用头发刷子狠狠地揍你的光屁股。这样，你就会懂得怎样循规蹈矩了。晚上，你那双擦足了雪花膏、套上镯子的手，还得戴上一副有着四十三个钮扣、刚涂过滑石粉的手套，指尖上考究地洒了香水。为了能得到这些好处，从前的骑士不惜献出生命。（他咯咯笑着。）我手下那些小伙子看到你这副贵妇人的风度一定会神魂颠倒，尤其是那位上校，当他们在婚礼前夕来这儿爱抚我这个靴子后跟镀了金的新招牌姑娘的时候。首先，我得亲自试试你。我在赛马场上结识的查尔斯·艾伯塔·马什——我刚刚跟他睡过觉。还有一位文件筐与小包保管科[603] 的先生，正在物色一个百依百顺的女仆。挺起胸脯来。笑一笑。垂下肩去。肯出多少钱？（指着）现货就在这里。经过雇主的训练，能嘴里叼着水桶，搬呀运呀。（他挽起袖管，将前臂整个儿伸进布卢姆的阴户。）够深的吧！怎样，小伙子们？见了这，你们还能不挺起来吗？（他把胳膊伸到一个竞买者脸前。）喏，搞吧，挨着个儿地来！

一个竞买者

两先令银市。

（狄龙[604] 的伙计摇着手铃。）

伙计

当啷！

一个声音

多付了一先令八便士。[605]

查尔斯·艾伯塔·马什

想必是个处女。气儿挺足。蛮干净。

贝洛

（抡起拍卖槌重重地敲了一下）两先令。低到了家的价钱，这简直跟白扔似的。有十四个举手的，摸一摸，检查一下她的部位。尽管用手摆弄。这长了茸毛的皮肤，这么柔软的筋，这么嫩的肉。要是我那把金锥子在手头就好了！而且奶水也挺足。一天能挤三加仑新鲜的奶。是多产的纯种，不出一个小时就能下崽。她老子的产奶纪录是四十周之内产两千加仑纯奶。嗬，我的宝贝儿！央求一下！嗬！（他把自己姓氏的首字C刺在布卢姆的臀部。）行啦！地地道道的科恩牌[606]！两先令还给涨多少，先生们？

浅黑脸男子

（用假嗓子）一百英镑整。

众声

（放低嗓门）拍卖结果归哈利发了。哈伦·拉施德[607] 。

贝洛

（兴高采烈地）好吧。让他们统统都来吧。窄小而毫无顾忌，只及膝盖的短裙，裙裾掀起，露出一抹白色宽松裤子，乃是强有力的武器。还有那透明的长袜，笔直的长长的棱线直伸到膝盖上端，再系上鲜绿色袜带，很投合城里玩厌了的人那种想别开生面的本能。要学会穿路易十五式后跟足有四英寸高的鞋，[608] 走路时忸忸怩怩，装腔作势。还得会行希腊式的屈膝礼，挑逗地撅起屁股，大腿丰腴匀称，双膝端庄地并着。朝他们发挥出你的全部魅力吧。勾引他们去沉溺在蛾摩拉的恶习中[609] 。

布卢姆

（把羞得通红的脸藏在腋窝里，口叼食指，傻笑。）哦，我现在好容易才明白你暗示的是什么了！

贝洛

像你这么个阳萎的家伙，除此而外还能做什么？（他弯下身去，边盯视边用扇子粗暴地戳布卢姆臀部那脂肪很厚的褶皱下面。）起来！起来！曼克斯猫[610] ！这是怎么啦？你那卷毛的茶壶哪儿去啦？要么就是什么人把它铰掉了吗，你这鸟儿？唱吧，鸟儿，唱呀。软搭拉的，就跟在马车后面撒尿的六岁娃娃那物儿一样。买只桶或卖掉水泵。（大声）你起得了男人的作用吗？

布卢姆

在埃克尔斯街……

贝洛

（讽刺地）我绝不想伤害你的感情，可有个肌肉发达的男人在那儿顶替了你。这叫作形势逆转，你这年轻的相公！他可是个粗壮有力的剽悍男子。咳，你这窝囊废，要是你也有那么个满是疙瘩、瘤子和瘊子的物儿就好啦。告诉你吧，他把浑身的劲头全使出来啦。脚对脚，膝对膝，肚子对肚子，乳房对胸脯！他可不是个阉人。屁股后头像荆豆丛似的扎煞着一簇红毛毛！小伙子，等上九个月吧！哎呀呀，它已经在她肚子里上下翻腾，蹬蹬踹踹，又咳嗽什么的！难道这还不使你气得火冒三丈吗？碰到痛处了吧？（他轻蔑地朝布卢姆啐口唾沫。）你这痰盂！

布卢姆

我深深受了凌辱，我……要去告警察。索赔一百英镑。竟然说得出口！我……

贝洛

有能耐你就去告吧，瘸鸭子。我们要的是瓢泼大雨，不是你那毛毛细雨。

布卢姆

会把我逼疯的！摩尔[611] ！我忘记了！饶恕我吧！摩尔……我们……还……

贝洛

（冷酷无情地）不行，利奥波德·布卢姆。自从你趴在睡谷里，在睡眠中度过长达二十年的夜晚[ 612] ，一切都按女人的意志改变了。回去瞧瞧吧。

（老睡谷隔着荒原呼唤。）

睡谷

瑞普·凡·温克尔！瑞普·凡·温克尔！

布卢姆

（脚上穿着破破烂烂的鹿皮靴，手里拿着一杆锈迹斑斑的鸟枪。他踮起脚尖，用手指摸索着。面容憔悴，骨瘦如柴而胡子拉碴的脸，对着菱形窗玻璃凝视，然后喊道）我看见她啦！是她！在马特·狄龙家第一次见到她的那个夜晚！可那件衣裳，绿色的！她的头发染成了金色的，而他……

贝洛

（愚弄地笑着）你这猫头鹰，那是你闺女哩，正跟穆林加尔的一名学生在一起。

（米莉·布卢姆，一头金发，身着绿衫，足蹬细长的凉鞋[613] ，听任蓝色头巾被海风吹拂得翻卷，甩开情人的双臂，惊奇地睁大眼睛叫着。）

米莉

天哪！这是爹爹啊。可是，哦，爹爹，你怎么苍老成这个样子啦！

贝洛

变啦，对吧？咱们的什锦柜，咱们那张从没在上边写过字的书桌，姨姥姥哈格蒂的扶手椅，是按古代大师的作品仿制的。一个男人和他的男友们在那儿养尊处优。王八窝[614] 。这也好嘛。你有过多少女人，呃，在黑咕隆咚的街上拖着脚步走，跟在她们后面，瓮声瓮气地咕哝着，使她们兴奋起来。怎样啊，你这男妓？跟踪那些捧着一包包食品杂货的规规矩矩的太太。向后转吧。我的公鹅啊，你和母鹅是半斤八两。[615]

布卢姆

她们……我……

贝洛

（尖酸刻薄地）我们的鞋后跟将踩着你从雷恩[616] 拍卖行买的那条仿制的布鲁塞尔地毯。他们跟顽皮的莫尔胡闹一气，捉她裤子里的雄跳蚤，把你为艺术而艺术冒雨抱回家的那座小小雕像[617] 一下子砸个粉碎。他们把你收藏在尽底下那只抽屉里的秘密全暴露出来。他们将把你那本天文学手册扯碎，搓成擦烟斗用的纸捻儿。他们还往你从汉普顿·利德姆[618] 那家店里花十先令买来的黄铜炉档里啐唾沫。

布卢姆

是十先令六便士。卑鄙无赖干下的勾当。放我走吧。我要回去。我要证明……

一个声音

宣誓！[619]

（布卢姆攥紧拳头，口叼长猎刀，匍匐前进。）

贝洛

是作为一名房客，还是一个男妾呢？太迟啦[620] 。你既然做了那张次好的床[621]，其他人就得睡在上面。你的墓志铭[622] 已经写好了。老家伙，可不要忘记，你已经完蛋了，被逐出去啦。

布卢姆

正义啊！整个爱尔兰在跟一个人作对！难道谁都……”

（他啃自己的大拇指。）

贝洛

要是你还有一点点自尊心或体面感的话，就死掉并下地狱去吧。我可以给你点珍藏的陈年老酒，你喝了就能跳跳蹦蹦地往返一趟地狱。签下一份遗嘱，将现钱统统留给我们！要是你一文不名，那么就偷也罢，抢也罢，横竖你这混蛋就非得把钱弄到手不可！我们把你葬在灌木丛中的茅坑里。那儿有我嫁过的继侄老卡克·科恩——一个该死的老痛风患者，诉讼代理人，颈部不断抽筋儿的鸡奸者。还有我另外十个或十一个丈夫，不管这帮鸡奸者叫什么名字，反正你都将跟他们死在一起，浑身龌龊，窒息在同一个粪坑里。（他爆发出含痰的朗笑声。）我们会把你沤成肥料的，弗罗尔先生！（他嘲弄地吹口哨。）拜拜，波尔迪！拜拜，爹爹！

布卢姆

（紧紧抱着自己的头）我的意志力！记忆！我犯了罪！我受了苦！[623]

（他于哭起来。）

贝洛

（讥笑）哭娃娃！鳄鱼的眼泪！

（布卢姆丧魂落魄，紧紧地蒙起眼睛，脸伏在地上哽咽着，等待着当牺牲品。这时，传来丧钟声。行过割礼者披着黑围巾的身姿，着麻蒙灰，伫立在饮位墙[624] 旁。M·舒勒莫雏茨、约瑟夫·戈德华特、摩西·赫佐格、哈里斯·罗森堡、M·莫伊塞尔、J．西特伦、明尼·沃赤曼、P·马斯添斯基，以及领唱者利奥波德。阿布拉莫维茨导师[625] 。他们摇着手臂，呼唤着圣灵，为哀悼叛教者布卢姆之死而恸哭。）

行过割礼者

（他们边以阴郁的喉音唱着，边往他身上撒死海之果，没有鲜花[626]。）以色列人哪，你们要留心听！上主是我们的上帝；惟有他是上主。[627]

众声

（叹息）那么，他走啦。啊，对。对，正是这样。布卢姆？从来没有听说过他。没有？是个古怪家伙。还有个寡妇。是吗？啊，对。

（从寡妇殉夫自焚的柴堆里，升起橡胶樟脑的火焰。香烟像棺衣一般遮住周围，逐渐消散。一位宁芙[628] 从栎木镜框里走了出来。她披散着头发，身上轻飘飘地穿着人工着色的茶褐色衣服，钻出她的洞穴，从枝叶交错的几棵紫杉下经过，站在布卢姆旁边。）

紫杉们

（叶子叽叽喳喳）是姐姐。咱们的姐姐。嘘！（柔声）凡人！（亲切地）不，可不要哭！

布卢姆

（软绵绵地在枝叶下匍匐前进，浴着透过枝叶缝隙射进来的阳光，威严地）落到这么个境地。我早就觉出会是这样的。习惯势力。

宁芙

凡人！你在一堆歹徒当中找到了我。跳大腿舞的，沿街叫卖水果蔬菜的小贩，拳师，得人心的将军。穿肉色紧身衣、道德败坏的哑剧演员，在本世纪最叫座儿的歌舞节目《曙光女神和卡利尼》中跳希米舞[629] 的俏皮漂亮的舞女。我藏在散发着石油味的粉红色廉价纸页当中。周围是俱乐部的男人们那些老掉牙的猥亵之谈，扰乱乳臭未干的小青年心情的话语，以及各种广告：透明装饰图片，按照几何图形制造的骰子，护胸，专利品，经疝气患者试用证明合格的疝带。有益于已婚者的须知。

布卢姆

（朝她的膝盖抬起海龟头）咱们曾经见过面。在另一个星球上。

宁芙

（悲戚地）橡胶制品。永远不会破的品种，专供贵族人士使用。男用胸衣。保治惊厥，无效退款。沃尔德曼教授神奇胸部扩大器使用者主动寄来的感谢信。据格斯·鲁布林太太来信说：我的胸围在三周内扩大了四英寸，并附照片。

布卢姆

你指的是《摄影点滴》吗？

宁芙

是啊。你带走了我，将我镶在装饰着金属箔的栎木镜框里，把我挂在你们夫妻的床上端。一个夏日傍晚，当没人看到时，你还吻了我身上的四个部位，并怀着爱慕心情用铅笔把我的眼睛、乳房和阴部都涂黑了。

布卢姆

（谦卑地吻她的长发）美丽的不朽的人儿啊，你有着何等古典的曲线。你是美的化身。我曾经仰慕你，赞颂你，几乎向你祷告。

宁芙

在漫漫黑夜，我听见了你的赞美…

布卢姆

（急促地）是啊，是啊。你指的是我……睡眠把每个人的最坏的一面暴露出来，也许孩子们是例外。我晓得我曾从床上滚了下去，或者毋宁说是被推下去了。据说浸过铁屑的葡萄酒能够治疗打鼾。另外，还有那个英国人的发明。尽管地址写错了，几天前我还是收到了关于医治打鼾的那份小册子。它说，能使人打一种不出声、不妨碍任何人的鼾。（叹息）一向都是这样的：脆弱啊，你的名字就是婚姻。[630]

宁芙

（用手指堵住耳朵）还有话。我的字典里可没有那些话。

布卢姆

你听得懂那些话吗？

紫杉们

嘘！

宁芙

（用手捂住脸）在那间屋子里，我什么没见到呀？我不得不瞧些什么呀！

布卢姆

（抱歉地）我晓得。贴身穿的脏衬衣，还特意给翻了过来。床架上的环儿也松了，是老早以前由海上从直布罗陀运来的。

宁芙

（垂下头去）比那还糟糕，比那还糟糕！

布卢姆

（仔细审慎地想）是那个陈旧的尿盆吧？那不怪她的体重。她刚好是一百六十七磅。断奶后，增加了九镑。尿盆上有个碴儿，胶也脱落了。呃？那只有一个把儿的、布满回纹的蹩脚用具。

（传来瀑布晶莹地倾泻而下的声音。）

瀑布

噗啦呋咔[631] ，噗啦呋咔。

噗啦呋咔，噗啦呋咔。

紫杉们

（枝条交叉）听啊。小点儿声。姐姐说得对。我们是在噗啦呋咔瀑布旁边生长的。在令人倦怠的夏日，我们供大家遮荫。

约翰·怀思·诺兰

（身穿国民林务员制服，出现在后方。摘下那顶插了饰毛的帽子。）在令人倦怠的日子，遮荫吧，爱尔兰的树木！

紫杉们

（低语）是谁随同高中生的郊游到噗啦呋咔来啦？是谁丢下寻觅坚果的同学们，到我们树底下找荫凉儿来啦？[632]

布卢姆

（鸡胸，瓶状肩膀，身穿不三不四的黑灰条纹相间、尺寸太小的童装，脚蹬白网球鞋，滚边的翻筒长袜，头上是一顶带着徽章的红色学生帽。）我当时才十几岁，是个正在发育的男孩儿。看什么都有趣儿。颠簸的车啦，妇人衣帽间和厕所混淆在一起的气味啦，密密匝匝地拥塞在古老的皇家剧场[633] 楼梯上的人群啦。因为他们喜欢你拥我挤，这是群体的本能，而且散发出淫荡气味的黑洞洞的剧场更使邪恶猖獗起来。我甚至喜欢看袜子的价目表。还有那股暑气。那个夏季，太阳上出现了黑点。学期结束。还有浸了葡萄酒的醉饼。多么宁静幸福的日子啊。

（宁静幸福的日子：高中男生穿着蓝白相间的足球运动衫和短裤。唐纳德·特恩布尔、亚伯拉罕·查特顿、欧文·戈德堡、杰克·梅雷迪思和珀西·阿普约翰[634] 站在林间空地上，朝着少年利奥波德·布卢姆喊叫。）

宁静幸福的日子

青花鱼[635]！咱们再一道玩玩吧。好得很！（他们喝彩。）

布卢姆

（一个笨拙的小伙子，戴着暖和的手套，裹着妈妈的围巾，朝他丢来的松软的雪球像星星般地沾在身上。他挣扎着要站起来。）再一道！我觉得又回到十六岁啦！真有趣儿！咱们把蒙塔古街[636]上所有的钟都敲响吧。（他有气无力地欢呼。）好得很，高中时代！

回声

傻瓜！

紫杉们

（飒飒作响）咱们的姐姐说得对。小声些。（整座树林子里，遍处都是喊喊喳喳的接吻声。树精从树干与枝叶间露出脸来窥伺，猛地绽开一朵朵的花。）是谁玷污了咱们这寂静的树荫儿？

宁芙

（羞答答地，从扎煞开的指缝间）那儿吗？在光天化日之下？

紫杉们

（朝下弯曲）是啊，姐姐。而且是在咱们这纯洁的草地上。

瀑布

噗啦呋咔，噗啦呋咔，

噗咔呋咔，噗咔呋咔。

宁芙

（扎煞着手指）哦，不要脸！

布卢姆

我曾经是个早熟的孩子。青春时期，法乌娜[637] 。我向森林之神献了祭。春季开的花儿[638] 。那是交尾的季节。毛细管引力是自然现象。我用可怜的爸爸那架小望远镜，从没拉严的窗帘缝儿偷看了亚麻色头发的洛蒂·克拉克在化晚妆。那个轻浮丫头吃起草来可野啦。在里亚托桥[639] ，她滚下山去，用她那旺盛的血气来勾引我。她爬上了弯弯曲曲的树，而我呢。连个圣徒也抑制不住自己。恶魔附在我身上啦。而且，谁也不曾看见呀。

（一头打着趔趄的无角白色小牛崽[640] 从叶丛间伸出头来。它蠕动着嘴，鼻孔湿漉漉的。）

刚生下的小牛崽

（大滴大滴的泪珠子从鼓起的眼睛里滚滚而下，吸溜着鼻涕。）我。我瞧。

布卢姆

仅仅是为了满足一阵欲望，我……（凄楚地）我追求姑娘，却没有一个理睬我。太丑啦。她们不肯跟我玩……

（在高高的霍斯山顶儿上，一只大奶、短尾母山羊缓步走在杜鹃花丛中，醋栗一路坠落着。[641] ）

母山羊

（鸣叫）咩 、咩、咩、咩！呐喃呐呢！

布卢姆

（无帽，涨红着脸，浑身沾满蓟冠毛和荆豆刺）正式订了婚。境遇迁，情况变[642] 。（目不转睛地俯视水面）每秒三十二英尺，[643] 倒栽葱跌下去。印刷品的恶梦。发晕的以利亚。[644] 从断崖上坠落。政府印刷公司职员[645] 的悲惨下场。

（裹成木乃伊状的布卢姆木偶，穿过夏日静穆的银色空气，从狮子岬角的崖上旋转着滚进等待着他的紫水。）

木偶木乃伊

布鲁布鲁布鲁布鲁布罗施布！

（远远地在海湾的水面上，爱琳王号[646] 从贝利灯塔与基什灯塔之间穿行。烟囱吐出羽毛状煤烟，扩散开来，朝岸边飘浮。）

市政委员南尼蒂[647]

（独自站在甲板上。身着黑色羊驼呢衣服，面作黄褐色，手插进背心敞口，口若悬河地演说着。）当我的祖国在世界各国之间占有了一席之地，直到那时，只有到了那时，方为我写下墓志铭，我的话……

布卢姆

完了。噗噜呋！

宁芙

（高傲地）我们这些神明，正如你今天所瞧见的那样，身上没有那个部位，也没长着毛。[648] 我们像石头一样冰凉而纯洁。我们吃电光。（她把身子淫荡地弯成弓形，咬着食指。）你对我说话来着吧。声音是从背后传来的，你怎么竟能这样……？

布卢姆

（沮丧地用脚踢着石南丛）哎，我真是地地道道的一头猪猡。我甚至还灌了肠。从苦树采下的苦味液三分之一品脱，兑上一汤匙岩盐。插进肛门。用的是妇女之友牌汉密尔顿·朗[ 649] 的灌肠器。

宁芙

当着我的面。粉扑。（飞红了脸，屈膝）还不只这一桩呢！

布卢姆

（垂头丧气）对。我犯了罪！[650] 我已经向不再这么叫的后背那个部位——一座活生生的祭坛致了敬。（突然以热切的口吻）为什么那双馥郁秀丽、珠光宝气的手，支配……的手[ 651] ？

（一个个身影缓缓地勾勒出森林图案，像蛇一般缠到树干上，柔声呼唤着。）

吉蒂的声音

（在矮树丛里）拿出个靠垫给咱瞧瞧。

弗洛莉的声音

喏。

（一只松鸡笨拙地从乱丛棵子中扑扇而过。）

林奇的声音

（在矮树丛里）哎唷！热得快开锅啦！

佐伊的声音

（在矮树丛里）从热地儿来的嘛。

维拉格的声音

（百鸟首领，披戴着饰以蓝竖纹羽毛的全副甲胄，手执标枪，踩着山毛榉果和橡子，大踏步穿过僻僻啪啪响的藤丛。）好热啊！好热！可得提防着坐牛[652] ！

布卢姆

我受不了啦。她那热呼呼的身子留下的热烘烘的烙印。就连在女人坐过的地方坐坐都受不了，尤其在那叉开大腿仿佛要最后开恩的地方，甚至还留下把圆盘般的白棉缎衬裙高高撩起来的痕迹。充满了女人气息。我已经满得饱和啦。

瀑布

啡啦噗啦，噗啦呋咔，

噗啦呋咔，噗啦呋咔。

紫杉们

嘘！姐姐，说呀！

宁芙

（双目失明，身穿修女的白袍，包着两边张出翼状大折裥的头巾，望着远处，安详地）特兰奎拉女修道院。阿加塔修女。迦密山。[653] 诺克和卢尔德的显圣。[654] 没有了欲望。（她垂下头去叹气。）只剩下苍穹的灵气了。梦幻一般浓郁的海鸥，在沉滞的水上飞翔。[655]

（布卢姆欠起身来。他的后裤兜儿上的钮扣崩掉了。）

钮扣

嘣！

（库姆[656] 的两个婊子身披围巾，淋着雨，边跳着舞过去，边用呆板的音调嚷着。）

哦，利奥波德丢了衬裤的饰针。

他不知道怎么办，

才能不让它脱落，

才能不让它脱落。

布卢姆

（冷漠地）你们把符咒给破了。这可是最后一根稻草[657] 啊。倘若只有天上的灵气，该把你们这些圣职申请者和见习修女往哪儿摆呢？羞涩而心甘情愿，就像一头撒尿的驴。

紫杉们

（银纸叶子坠落，骨瘦如柴的胳膊老迈而摇来摆去。）虚幻无常！

宁芙[ 658]

这简直是亵渎神明！竟敢试图破坏我的贞操！（她的衣服上出现一大片湿渡渡的污痕。）玷污我的清白！你不配摸一位纯洁女子的衣服。（她重新把衣服拢紧。）且慢。魔鬼，不许你再唱情歌。啊们。啊们。啊们。啊们。（她拔出短剑，披着从九名中选拔出来的骑士[ 659] 的锁子甲，朝布卢姆的腰部扎去。）你这个孽障！

布卢姆

（大吃一惊，攥住她的手。）嗬！受保佑的！[ 660］有九条命的猫！太太，要讲讲公道，用刀子割可使不得。是狐狸和酸葡萄吧，呃？你已经有了铁蒺藜[661] ，还缺什么？难道十字架还不够粗吗？（一把抓住她的头巾）你究竟想要可敬的男修道院院长呢，还是瘸腿园丁布罗菲；要么就是没有出水口的送水人[662] 雕像，或是好母亲阿方萨斯，呃，列那[663] ？

宁芙

（大叫一声，丢下头巾，逃出他的手掌。她那用石膏塑成的壳子出现裂纹，从裂缝里冒出一股臭气[664] 。）警……！

布卢姆

（从她背后喊）倒好像你自己井没有加倍地享乐似的。连动也不动一下就浑身糊满各种各样的黏液了。我试了一下。你的长处就是我们的弱点。你给我多少配种费呀？马上付多少现款？我读过关于你们在里维埃拉雇舞男的事。[665]（正在逃跑的宁芙哭了一声。）呃？我像黑奴般地干了十六年的苦役。难道明天陪审员会给我五先令的赡养费吗，呃，去愚弄旁人吧，我可不上这个当。（嗅着。）动情。葱头。酸臭的气味[666] 。硫磺。脂肪。

（贝拉·科恩[667] 的身影站在他面前。）

贝拉

下次你就认得我啦。

布卢姆

（安详地打量着她）容颜衰退。[ 668] 老婊子装扮成少妇的样子。牙齿长，头发密。晚上临睡吃生葱头，可以滋润容颜。通过锻炼，能消除双下巴颏。你那两眼就像你那只剥制狐狸的玻璃眼睛那么呆滞。它门跟你的胸腰臀尺寸也相当。就是这样。我可不是一架三翼螺旋桨。

贝拉

（轻蔑地）其实你已经不行啦。（她那母猪的阴部吼叫着。）吹牛皮！

布卢姆

（轻蔑地）先把你那没有指甲的中指擦干净吧。你那情人的冰凉精液正在从你的鸡冠上嘀嗒着哪。抓把干草自己擦擦吧。

贝拉

我晓得你是个拉广告的！阳萎！

布卢姆

我瞧见你的情人啦：窑子老板！贩卖梅毒和后淋症的！

贝拉

（转向钢琴）你们之间是谁弹《扫罗》中的送葬曲[669] 来着？

佐伊

是我。当心你的鸡眼儿吧。[670]（ 她一个箭步蹿到钢琴跟前，交抱着胳膊使劲碰琴键。）平板、机械、单调、生硬的旋律。（她回过头来瞟一眼。）呃？谁在向我的情人儿献殷勤？（她一个箭步蹿回到桌边。）你的就是我的，我的就是我自己的。（吉蒂仓皇失措，用银纸遮住牙齿。布卢姆走近佐伊。）

布卢姆

（用柔和的声调）把那个土豆还给我好吗？

佐伊

没收啦。好东西，非常好的东西。

布卢姆

（深情地）那玩艺儿什么价值也没有，但毕竟是我可怜的妈妈的遗物。

佐伊

给人东西又索讨，

天主问哪儿去了，

你就推说不知道，

天主送你下地狱。[ 671]

布卢姆

这是有纪念意义的。我想拥有它。

斯蒂芬

拥有还是没有，这是一个值得考虑的问题。[672]

佐伊

喏。（她撩起衬裙褶子，露出裸着的大腿，然后往下卷了卷长袜口，掏出土豆。）藏的人自然知道上哪儿去找。

贝拉

（皱眉）喂，这儿可不是有音乐伴奏、透过小孔看的那种下流表演。可别把那架钢琴砸烂啦。帐由谁付呀？

（她走到自动钢琴旁边。斯蒂芬掏兜，捏着一张纸币的角儿，提拎出来递给她。）

斯蒂芬

（故作夸张的彬彬有礼）这个丝制钱包我是用酒吧间的猪耳朵做的[673] 大太，请原谅。要是您允许的话。（他含含糊糊地指林奇和布卢姆。）金赤和林奇，我们同赌共济。[674] 在我们“开庭”的这家窑子里[675]。

林奇

（从炉边招呼）迪达勒斯！替我祝福她吧。[676]

斯蒂芬

（递给贝洛一枚硬币）喏，还是金的哩。她已经被祝福过啦。

贝拉

（瞧瞧钱，[ 677] 然后看看佐伊、弗洛莉和吉蒂。）你们要三个姑娘吗？这里是十先令。

斯蒂芬

（欣喜地）十万个对不起。（他又掏兜，并摸出两枚克朗递给她。）请原谅，少给了[ 678] ，我的眼神儿有点毛病。

（贝拉走到桌边去数钱，斯蒂芬用单音节词喃喃自语。佐伊朝桌子弯下身去。吉蒂偎倚着佐伊的脖颈。林奇站起来，把便帽扶正，紧紧搂住吉蒂的腰肢，把头凑到众人当中。）

弗洛莉

（使劲挣扎着站起来）噢！我的脚发麻。（她一瘸一拐地来到桌边。布卢姆挨了过去。）

贝拉、佐伊、吉蒂、林奇、布卢姆

（叽哩叭啦，拌嘴）那位先生……十先令……付了三份……稍等一等……这位先生的帐另外算……谁在碰它？……噢！……掐我，可饶不了你……你是过夜呢，还是只泡一会儿？……谁干的？……你撒谎，对不起……这位先生已经像个上等人那样结清了帐……喝酒……早就过十一点啦。

斯蒂芬

（在自动钢琴旁边，做表示厌恶的手势）不要酒啦！什么，十一点？一个谜语[679] ！

佐伊

（撩起裙裾，将那枚半克朗金市夹在长袜口里）这是躺在床上好不容易才挣到的哪。

林奇

（把吉蒂从桌旁抱起）来呀！

吉蒂

等一等。（她一把抓住两枚克朗。）

弗洛莉

还有我哪？

林奇

呼啦！

（他举起她，把她抱到沙发跟前，咕咯一声撂下去。）

狐狸叫，公鸡飞，

天堂钟声响，

整整十一点。

她可怜的灵魂，

该离开天堂啦。[680]

布卢姆

（不动声色地把一枚半英镑金币放在贝洛与弗洛莉之间的桌子上。）就这样，请允许我。（他拿起那张一英镑纸币。）十乘三。咱们两不欠。[681]

贝拉

（钦佩地）你可真狡猾，翘尾巴的老家伙。我都想吻吻你啦。

佐伊

（指着）他吗？深得像口吊桶井。

（林奇弯下身去吻着仰面躺在沙发上的吉蒂。布卢姆拿着那张一英镑钞票，走到斯蒂芬跟前。）

布卢姆

这是你的。

斯蒂芬

这是怎么回事？心神恍惚的男子[682]或心神恍惚的乞丐[ 683] 。（他又掏兜，摸出一把硬币。掉了一样东西。）掉啦。

布卢姆

（蹲下去，捡起一盒火柴，递给斯蒂芬。）这个。

斯蒂芬

晓星[684] 。谢谢。

布卢姆

（温和地）你不如把那笔现款交给我来保管。凭什么多付呢？

斯蒂芬

（把硬币统统交给他。）先公正再慷慨。[685]

布卢姆

我要这么做，可这是个明智的办法吗？（他数着。）一，七，十一，再加上五。六。十一。你可能已经丢失的，我就不负责任了。

斯蒂芬

为什么说是敲了十一点呢？从语尾倒数第二音节上有重音。莱辛说：“动作中的某一顷刻[ 686] 。”口渴的狐狸。（他大笑。）埋葬它的奶奶。[687} 兴许她还是死在他手里的呢[688] 。

布卢姆

统共是一英镑六先令十一便士。就算是一英镑七先令吧。

斯蒂芬

管它呢，没关系。

布卢姆

那倒也是，不过……

斯蒂芬

（来到桌旁）给我根香烟。（从沙发那儿往桌上丢了一支香烟。）于是，乔治娜。约翰逊[689]死去了，并且结过婚。（一支香烟出现在桌上。斯蒂芬瞅着它。）奇怪。客厅里的魔术。结过婚。哼。（他划着一根火柴，沉浸在神秘的忧郁中，试图点燃香烟。）

林奇

（注视着他）要是把火柴挨近一点，就更容易点着了。

斯蒂芬

（把火柴凑到眼前）山猫般锐利的目光。得配副眼镜。昨天把眼镜打碎了。十六年前[690]。距离。一眼望去，都是平面。（他把火柴移开。熄灭了。）脑子在思索。是近还是远。[691] 无可避免的视觉认知形态。[692] （他故作玄虚地皱皱眉头。）哼。斯芬克斯。双背禽兽[693] 在半夜里结了婚。

佐伊

娶她的是一个行商，把她带走啦。

弗洛莉

（点点头）伦敦的兰姆先生。

斯蒂芬

伦敦的羔羊，带走世人罪孽的。[694]

林奇

（在沙发上搂抱着吉蒂，用深沉的嗓音吟诵。）赐我等平安。[ 695]

（香烟从斯蒂芬的手指问滑落下去。布卢姆拾起，投到炉格子后面。）

布卢姆

别抽烟啦。你得吃。我碰上的那条狗真可恶。（对佐伊）你们这儿什么都没有吗？

佐伊

他饿了吗？

斯蒂芬

（笑吟吟地朝她伸出一只手，用《众神的黄昏）中“血誓[696] 的曲调诵着。）

腹中难耐的饥饿，

刨根问底的老婆，

我们全都休想活。[ 697]

佐伊

（悲剧味十足）哈姆莱特，我是你父亲的手锥！[698] （她抓住他的手。）蓝眼睛的美男子，我要替你看着手相。（她指着他的前额。）缺智慧，没皱纹。（她数着。）二，三，战神丘[699]表明有勇气。（斯蒂芬摇摇头。）不骗你。

林奇

这是片状闪电的勇气。小伙子不会惊恐颤栗。（对佐伊）是谁教会你看手相的？

佐伊

（转过身来）问问我压根儿就没有的睾丸吧。（对斯蒂芬）从你脸上就看得出来。眼神儿，像这样。（她低下头去，皱皱眉。）

林奇

（边笑边啪啪地打了两下吉蒂的屁股。）像这样吧。戒尺。

（戒尺啪啪地大声响了两下。自动钢琴这口棺材的盖儿飞快地打开，多兰神父那又小又圆的秃头就像玩具匣里的木偶一般蹿了上来。）

多兰神父

哪个孩子想要挨顿打？打碎了他的眼镜？游手好闲、吊儿郎当的小懒虫！从你的眼神儿就看得出来。

（唐约翰·康米的头从自动钢琴这口棺村里伸了出来：温厚，慈祥，一副校长派头，用训诫口吻。）

唐约翰·康米

喏，多兰神父！喏，我保证斯蒂芬是个非常乖的小男孩儿。[700]

佐伊

（仔细看斯蒂芬的掌心）是只女人的手。

斯蒂芬

（咕哝）说下去。躺下。搂着我。爱抚。除了留在黑线鳕身上的他那罪恶的大拇指印，我永远也辨认不出他的笔迹。[701]

佐伊

你的生日是星期几？

斯蒂芬

星期四。[702]今天。

佐伊

星期四生的孩子前程远大。[703] （她追踪着他的掌纹。）命运纹。结交有权有势的朋友。

弗洛莉

（指着）富于想象。

佐伊

月丘。你会遇上一个……（突然端详起他的双手来）对你不利的兆头，我就不告诉你啦。难道你想要知道吗？

布卢姆

（拽开她的手指，摊开自己的手掌）凶多吉少。这儿，替我瞧瞧。

贝洛

让我来瞧。（把布卢姆的手翻过来）不出我的所料：骨节突起，为了女人。

佐伊

（凝视布卢姆的手心）活像个铁丝格子。飘洋过海，为钱结婚。

布卢姆

不对。

佐伊

（快嘴快舌地）哦，我明白啦。小指短短的。怕老婆。不对吗？

（大母鸡黑丽泽[70 4]在粉笔画的圈儿里孵着蛋。这时站了起来，扑扇着翅膀鸣叫。）

黑丽泽

嘎啦。喀噜呵。喀噜呵。喀噜呵。（它离开刚下的蛋，摇摇摆摆地走掉。）

布卢姆

（指着自己的手）这疤痢是个伤痕。二十二年前跌了个跤划破的。当时我十六岁。

佐伊

瞎子说：我明白啦，告诉咱点消息。

斯蒂芬

明白吗？朝着一个伟大的目标前进。[705]我二十二岁。十六年前，我在二十二岁上跌了个跤。二十二年前，十六岁的他从摇马上跌了下去。（他畏缩。）我手上的什么地方伤着了。得去找牙医瞧瞧。钱呢？

（佐伊跟弗洛莉交头接耳。二人吃吃地笑。布卢姆把手抽回来，用铅笔在桌上反手信意写着字，形成舒缓的曲线。）

弗洛莉

怎么？

（家住多尼布鲁克-哈莫尼大街的詹姆斯·巴顿赶的第三百二十四号出租马车，由一匹扭着壮实的屁股小跑的母马拉着驰过。博伊兰和利内翰摊开手脚躺在两侧的座席上，晃来晃去。[706]奥蒙德的擦鞋侍役蜷缩在后面的车轴上边。莉迪亚·杜丝和米娜·肯尼迪隔着半截儿窗帘悲哀地凝望着。）

擦鞋侍役

（颠簸着，伸出大拇指和像虫子般扭动的另外几个指头，嘲弄女人们。）嗬，嗬，你们长了角吗？

（金发女侍和褐发女侍窃窃私语。）

佐伊

（对弗洛莉）交头接耳。

（布莱泽斯·博伊兰倚着马车座席靠背。他歪戴硬壳平顶草帽，口衔红花。利内翰头戴游艇驾驶人的便帽，脚蹬白鞋，爱管闲事地从布莱泽斯·博伊兰的大衣肩上摘掉一根长发。）

利内翰

嗬！我看见的是什么呀？难道你从几个阴道上掸掉蜘蛛网来着吗？

博伊兰

（心满意足，微笑）我在薅火鸡毛哪。[707]

利内翰

够你于个整宿的。

博伊兰

（伸出形成钝角的四个粗手指，挤了挤眼。）让凯特狂热起来[708]！倘若和样品不同，就照样退款。（他把小指伸过去。）闻一闻。

利内翰

（开心地嗅着）啊！像是浇了蛋黄酱的龙虾。啊！

佐伊和弗洛莉

（一道笑着）哈哈哈哈。

博伊兰

（矫健地跳下马车，用人人都听得见的大嗓门嚷着）嘿，布卢姆！布卢姆太太穿好衣服了吗？

布卢姆

（身着仆役穿的那种深紫红色长毛绒上衣和短裤，浅黄色长袜，头戴撒了粉的假发。）好像还没有，老爷。还差几样东西……

博伊兰

（丢给他一枚六便士硬币）喂，去买杯兑苏打水的杜松子酒喝吧。（灵巧地把帽子挂在布卢姆头上长的多叉鹿角尖儿上。）给我引路。我跟你妻子之间有件小小的私事要办，你懂吗，

布卢姆

谢谢，老爷。是的，老爷。特威迪太太正在洗澡呢，老爷。

玛莉恩

他应该感到非常荣幸才是。（她噗噜噜地飞溅着澡水，走了出来。）拉乌尔[709] 亲爱的，来替我擦干了。我光着身子哪。除了一顶新帽子和随身携带的海绵，我可一丝不挂。

博伊兰

（眼睛快乐地一闪）再好不过啦！

贝拉

什么？怎么回事？

（佐伊跟她打耳喳。）

玛莉恩

让他看着，邪魔附体[710] ！男妓！他该鞭打自己一顿！我要写信给有势力的妓女巴托罗莫娜，一个长胡子的女人，叫她在他身上留下一英寸厚的鞭痕，并且要他给我带回一张签字盖章的字据。[711]

贝拉

（嘲笑）呵呵呵呵。

博伊兰

（侧过身来对布卢姆）我去跟她干几回。这当儿，你可以把眼睛凑在钥匙孔上，自己跟自己干干。

布卢姆

谢谢您，老爷，我一定遵命，老爷。我可不可以带上两个伙伴来见识见识，并且拍张快照？（捧上一罐软膏）要凡士林吗，老爷？橙花油呢？……温水？

吉蒂

（从沙发上）告诉咱，弗洛莉，告诉咱。什么……

（弗洛莉跟她打耳喳。悄悄他说着情话，啪嚓啪嚓地大声咂着嘴唇，吧唧吧唧，噼嚓唧嚓）

米娜·肯尼迪

（两眼朝上翻着）噢，准是像天竺葵和可爱的桃子那样的气味！噢，他简直把她每个部位都膜拜到了，紧紧鳔在一块儿[712] ！浑身都吻遍了！

莉迪亚·杜丝

（张着嘴）真好吃，真好吃。[713] 噢，他一边搞，一边抱着她满屋子转！骑着一匹摇木马。他们这样搞法，甚至在巴黎和纽约，你都听得见。就像是嘴里塞满了草莓和奶油似的。

吉蒂

（大笑）嘻嘻嘻。

博伊兰的嗓音

（既甜蜜又嘶哑，发自胸口窝）啊！天主布莱泽咯噜喀哺噜咔哧喀啦施特！

玛莉恩的嗓音

（既嘶哑又甜蜜，从嗓子眼儿里涌出来）喂施哇施特吻呐噗咿嘶呐噗唿喀！

布卢姆

（狂热地圆睁双目，抱着肘）露出来！藏起来！露出来！耕她！加把劲儿！射！

贝洛、佐伊、弗洛莉、吉蒂

嗬嗬！哈哈！嘿嘿！

林奇

（指着）一面反映自然[714]的镜子。（他笑着。）哧哧哧哧！

（斯蒂芬和布卢姆朝镜中凝望。威廉·莎士比亚那张没有胡子的脸在那里出现。面部麻痹僵硬，头上顶着大厅里那个多叉驯鹿角形帽架的反影。）

莎士比亚

（作庄严的腹语）高声大笑是心灵空虚的反映。[715] （对布卢姆）你以为人们瞧不见你的形影。瞧瞧吧。（他发出黑色阉鸡[716] 的笑声，啼鸣。）伊阿古古！我的老伙伴怎样勒死了他的星期四莫娜[717] 。伊阿古古古！

布卢姆

（懦怯地朝三个婊子微笑）什么时候我才能听听这个笑话呢？

佐伊

在你两度结婚并做一次鳏夫之前。

布卢姆

对过失要宽容。就连伟大的拿破仑，当他死后赤身露体地被人量尺寸的时候[718] ……

（守了寡的迪格纳穆太太由于谈论死者而流了泪，并饮滕尼[719] 的黄褐色雪利酒，使她那狮子鼻和面颊泛红起来。她身着丧服，歪戴软帽，涂了口红，脸上抹着粉，匆匆赶路，活像一只母天鹅赶着成群的小天鹅。[720] 裙子底下露出她的亡夫家常穿的长裤和那双帮口翻过来的八英寸大号靴子。她手持苏格兰遗孀保险公司[721] 的保险单，打着一把大阳伞。她那窝小雏在伞下跟着她跑。帕齐用穿着单帮鞋的那只脚在前边跳跳蹿蹿，脖领松开来，手里提拎着一块猪排。弗雷迪啜泣着。苏茜那张嘴活像是哭着的鳕。艾丽斯吃力地抱着个娃娃。她啪啪地打着孩子们，催他们往前走，黑纱高高地飘扬着。）

弗雷迪

啊，妈，别这么拽我呀！

苏茜

妈妈，牛肉茶[722] 都噗出来啦！

莎士比亚

（带着中风患者的愤怒）先把头一个丈夫杀了，然后嫁给第二个[723] 。

（莎士比亚那张没有胡子的脸，变成马丁·坎宁翰的胡子拉碴的脸。阳伞仿佛喝得酩酊大醉，晃晃悠悠。孩子们都躲闪开来。坎宁翰太太头戴风流寡妇帽[724]，身穿和服式晨衣，出现在伞下。她像日本人那样滴溜溜地旋转，鞠着躬，滑也似地侧身走过。）

坎宁翰大太

（唱）

他们称我作亚洲的珍宝。[725]

马丁·坎宁翰

（冷漠地凝视着她）好家伙！最恶毒、最令人讨厌的婆娘！

斯蒂芬

惟有义人之角，必被高抬。[726]皇后们跟优良公牛们一道睡觉。要记住：由于帕西菲的荒淫，我那肥胖的老祖父修建了第一间忏悔阁子。[727] 不要忘记格莉塞尔·斯蒂文斯夫人[728] ，也不要忘记兰伯特家的猪子猪孙[729] 。挪亚喝醉了酒[730] 。他的方舟[731]敞着盖儿。

贝拉

可别在这儿来这一套。你认错门儿啦。

林奇

随他去吧。他是从巴黎回来的。

佐伊

（跑到斯蒂芬身边，挽住他的臂。）哦，说下去！说几句法国话给咱们听。

（斯蒂芬急忙戴上帽子，一个箭步蹿到壁炉跟前，耸肩伫立在那里。他摊开鱼鳍般的一双手，脸上勉强微笑着。）

林奇

（用拳头连擂沙发）噜哞噜哞噜哞，噜呜哞呜。

斯蒂芬

（像牵线木偶股地颤悠着身子，唠叨着）有千百家娱乐场所供你和可爱的仕女们消磨夜晚。她们把手套和其他东西，也许甚至连心都卖给你。在应有尽有的时髦而又非常新奇的啤酒厅里，许多穿得漂漂亮亮的公主般的高等妓女跳着康康舞[732] ，给外国单身汉表演特别荒唐的巴黎式滑稽舞蹈。尽管英国话讲得蹩脚，然而风骚淫荡起来，她们可真是驾轻就熟。凡是对冶游格外挑剔的老爷们，可务必去观赏一下她们在流银色泪水的葬仪蜡烛映照下的天堂地狱表演[733] 。那是每天晚上都举行的。普天之下再也没有比这更加阴森可怕、触目惊心的对宗教的嘲弄了。所有那些时髦潇洒的妇道人家，端庄淑静地走来，随即脱光衣服，尖声大叫起来，观看那个扮成吸血鬼的男人奸污衬衣凌乱[734] 的非常年轻鲜嫩的尼姑。（大声砸舌）哎呀呀！瞧他那大鼻子！

林奇

吸血鬼万岁！[735]

妓女们

法国话说得好！

斯蒂芬

（仰面朝天地大笑，作怪相，为自已鼓掌喝采）笑得大获成功。既有很像窑姐儿的天使，又有大恶棍式的神圣使徒。有些高级娼妇衣着极其可人，佩带着一颗颗璀璨晶莹、闪闪发光的钻石。要么，你更喜欢老人们那种说得上是现代派快乐的猥亵吗？（他以怪诞的手势向周围指指点点，林奇和妓女们回应着。）把可以翻转的弹性橡皮女偶或非常肉感的等身大处女裸体像吻上五遍十遍。进来吧，先生们，瞧瞧镜子里的这些偶人扭着身子的各种姿势。要是想看更加过瘾的，还有肉铺小徒弟把温吞吞的牛肚或莎士比亚的剧作[736] 煎蛋饼[737] 放在肚子上手淫的场面。

贝拉

（拍着肚子，深深地往沙发上一躺，放开嗓门大笑着。）煎蛋饼放在……嗬！嗬！嗬！嗬！……煎蛋饼放在……

斯蒂芬

（吞吞吐吐地）我爱你，亲爱的先生。为了相互间达成真诚的谅解[738]，我讲你们的英国话吧。哦，对，我的狼。[739]得花多少钱。滑铁卢。抽水马桶。（他突然止住，伸出个小指。）

贝洛

（笑着）煎蛋饼……

妓女们

（笑着）再来一个！再来一个！

斯蒂芬

注意听着。我梦见一个西瓜。

佐伊

那就意味着到海外去，爱上一个外国女人。

林奇

为了讨个老婆，去周游世界。

弗洛莉

梦和现实正相反。

斯蒂芬

（摊开双臂）就在这儿。娼妓街。[740]在蛇根木林荫路上，魔王让我看到了她——一个矮胖寡妇。[741] 红地毯铺在哪儿呢？

布卢姆

（挨近斯蒂芬）瞧……

斯蒂芬

不，我飞了。我的仇敌在我下面。[742] 以迨永远，及世之世。[743]父亲[744] ！

自由！

布卢姆

喂，你呀……

斯蒂芬

他想要使我意气消沉吗？哦，他妈的！[745]（他那秃鹫爪子磨得尖尖的，喊叫着。）喂，呵，呵！[746]

（西蒙·迪达勒斯的嗓音。虽昏昏欲睡，却及时“呵，呵”地回应着。）

西蒙

好的。（他展开结实、沉重的秃鹰翅膀，雄赳赳地啼叫着，边兜圈子边从空中笨拙地飞下来。）呵，儿子！你将要赢吗？嗬！呸！净跟那些杂种厮混在一起。不许他们挨近你。抬起头来！让咱们的旗帜飘扬！图案是银白地上，一只展翅飞翔的赤鹰。周身披甲的阿尔斯特王！咳嗬！（他学猎兔犬发现猎物时的吠叫声。）哺儿哺儿！哺儿哺噜哺噜哺儿噜哺噜！嘿，儿子！

（墙纸上的叶子图案和底色排成队迅速地越过田野。一只肥壮的狐狸，从隐匿处被赶出来，刚刚埋葬完奶奶[747]，翘起尾巴，两眼发出锐利的光，在树叶底下寻觅獾的洞穴。一群猎鹿犬跟随着。鼻子贴在地面上，嗅着猎物的气味，哺儿哺噜哺儿哺噜地发出嗜血的吠声。医院俱乐部[ 748] 的男女猎人跟它们一道活动，起劲地捕杀猎物。尾随于后的是来自“六英里小岬”、“平屋”[749] 和“九英里石标”[750] 的助猎者，拿着满是节疤的棍子、干草叉、鮭鱼钩和套索；还有手执牧鞭的羊倌，挎着长筒鼓的耍熊师，携带头牛剑的斗牛士，摇晃着火把的老练的黑人。成群的赌徒、掷冕锚游戏的[751]、 玩杯艺的[752]和玩牌时作弊的，大喊大叫。替盗贼把风者和头戴魔术师高帽、嗓子嘶哑的赌注经纪人，震耳欲聋地吵吵嚷嚷。）

群众

参赛马的程序单。赛马一览表！

冷门马是以十博一！

这里有赚头！生意有赚头！

以十博一，除了一匹！[753]

旋转詹尼[754] ，撞撞你的运气！

以十博一，除了一匹！

卖猴子[755] ！

我来个以十博一！

以十博一，除了一匹！

（一匹没有骑手的黑马，鬃毛在月光下汗水淋漓，眼珠子像星宿似的闪着光，宛若幽灵般冲过决胜终点。冷门马成群地弓背猛跳着，跟在后面。精瘦的马匹们，“权仗”、“马克西姆二世”、“馨芳葡萄酒”，威斯敏斯特公爵的“跨越”、“挫败”、波弗特公爵那匹获巴黎奖的“锡兰”。[756] 侏儒们披戴锈迹斑斑的铠甲，骑在马上，并在鞍上跳跃，跳跃。在淅淅沥沥的雨中，殿后的是骑着热门马“北方的科克”[757][呼吸急促的灰黄色驽马］的加勒特·迪希。他头戴蜂蜜色便帽，身穿绿茄克衫，橙色袖子。他一手紧攥缰绳，一手执曲棍球棒，摆好了姿势。驽马那一跛一跛的四肢上打着白色绑腿，一路险巘[758] ，缓步前进。）

橙带党[759] 分支成员们

（嘲笑着）老爷，下来推推吧。最后一圈儿啦！晚上您才能到家呢！

加勒特·迪希

（直挺挺地骑在马上，被指甲抓破了的脸上贴满邮票，抡着曲棍球棒，在枝形吊灯灿烂光辉的照耀下，一双蓝眼闪烁着，以练马的步调飞跑过去。）走正路！[760]

（一对桶整个儿翻在他和用后脚站起的驽马身上，漂浮着硬币般的胡萝卜、大麦、葱头、芜菁、土豆的羊肉汁倾泻而下。）

绿党[761] 分支成员们

雨天儿，约翰爵士！雨天儿！阁下！

（士兵卡尔、士兵康普顿和西茜·卡弗里从窗下走过，荒腔走板地唱着。）

斯蒂芬

听哪！咱们的朋友，街上的喊叫[ 762] 。

佐伊

（举起一只手）站住！

士兵卡尔、士兵康普顿和西茜·卡弗里

可是我有种偏爱，

对约克郡……[ 763]

佐伊

那指的是我。（她拍着手。）跳舞！跳舞！（她跑到自动钢琴跟前。）

谁有两便士？

布卢姆

谁要……？

林奇

（递给她硬币）喏。

斯蒂芬

（不耐烦地撅着手指发出声音）快！快！我那占卜师的手杖呢[764]？（跑到钢琴跟前，拿起他那梣木手杖，踏着拍子跳起庄严的祭神舞[765] 。）

佐伊

（转着自动钢琴的把手）来吧。

（她往投钱口里丢进两便士。金色、桃红色和紫罗兰色的光束射了出来。圆筒咕噜咕噜转动，迟迟疑疑地以低音调奏出华尔兹舞曲。古德温教授[766]戴着挽成活结的假发，大礼服外面披着污迹斑斑、带护肩的斗篷。他年迈得惊人，身子已经弯成两半截，双手发颤，脚步蹒跚地踱到房间另一端。小得可怜的他端坐在钢琴凳上，像个少女似的娴雅地点点头，活结一颤一颤的，用无手的、棒槌般的双臂敲着琴键。）

佐伊

（用脚后跟打着拍子，滴溜溜地旋转身子。）跳舞吧。这儿有什么人要跳？谁跳舞，把桌子清一清。

（在变幻莫测的灯光下，自动钢琴以华尔兹舞曲的拍子演奏起《我的意中人是位约克郡姑娘》的序曲。斯蒂芬将他的梣木手杖丢到桌上，一把搂住佐伊的腰。弗洛莉和贝洛把桌子朝壁炉推了推。斯蒂芬以夸张的高雅风度搂着佐伊，在室内旋转着跳起华尔兹舞。她的袖子从动作优雅的臂上滑落下来，露出种痘留下的白肉花。布卢姆站在一旁。马金尼[ 767] 教师从帷幕间伸出一只脚来，大礼帽在脚趾尖上滴溜溜旋转。他熟练地一踢，那帽子便旋转着飞到他的头顶上了。他春风得意，滑也似地溜进了屋子。他身穿有着紫红色绸翻领的暗蓝灰色长礼服，系着奶油色护颈胸薄纱，背心的领口开得低低的，打成蝴蝶结的雪白宽饰领，淡紫色紧腿裤，脚蹬浅口无带的漆皮轻舞鞋，手上戴着鲜黄色手套。扣眼里插着一大朵大丽花。他朝相反的方向旋转着一根有云状花纹的手杖，随后又把它紧紧夹在腋下。他将一只手轻轻接着胸骨，深打一躬，把玩着花儿和钮扣。）

马金尼

运动的诗，健美体操的艺术。跟莱格特·伯恩夫人或利文斯顿[ 768] 毫无关系。还安排了化装舞会。举止端庄[769]。凯蒂·兰内尔[ 770]舞步。那么，好好看着我！注意我的舞蹈本领。（他以蜜蜂般轻快的步伐向前迈出三个小碎步。）大家向前走！鞠躬！各就各位！[ 771]

（序曲终止。古德温教授出神地用臂打着拍子，逐渐缩小、干瘪下去，他那斗篷像活物一般垂落到钢琴凳周围。主旋律越发清晰了，是华尔兹舞曲的节奏。斯蒂芬和佐伊自由自在地旋转着。灯光忽而金色，忽而玫瑰色，忽而紫罗兰色，渐明渐暗地变幻着。）

自动钢琴

两个小伙子谈着他们的姑娘，姑娘，姑娘，

他们留下的心上人……[772]

（早晨的时光们[773] 从角落里跑了出来。金发，足蹬细长的凉鞋，身穿女孩儿气的蓝衣，马蜂腰，清白的手。她们矫健地跳着舞，抡着跳绳。晌午的时光们穿的是呈琥珀色的金黄衣裳。她们笑着，手挽着手，高高地插在头上的梳子闪闪发光，举起双臂，用嘲讽的镜子[774] 捕捉阳光。）

马金尼

（轻轻拍着戴了手套发不出声音的手）摆好方阵！一对儿一对儿地前进！[775] 呼吸要平稳！身体保持平衡！[776]

（早晨的时光们与晌午的时光们各自就地跳起华尔兹舞，旋转着，相互挨近，身子扭来扭去，互行鞠躬礼。站在她们身后的舞伴把胳膊弯成弓形，支撑着，忽而又把手落到她们的肩上，抚摩一下，再抬起来。）

时光们

你可以摸我的……

献殷勤的男舞伴们

我可以摸你的……吗？

时光们

哦，可要轻点儿！

献殷勤的舞伴们

啊，轻轻儿地！

自动钢琴

我那羞答答的小妞儿的腰肢……[777]

（佐伊和斯蒂芬更舒缓地晃着身子，奔放地旋转着。黄昏的时光们出现在投到地上的长长的影子里，向前移动。拖拖拉拉，散散漫漫，眼神呆滞，脸颊上淡雅地涂着散沫花染料，呈现出一抹人为的红润。她们身穿灰色网纱衣服，在从陆地吹向海上的微风中，扑扇着黑不溜秋的蝙蝠袖。）

马金尼

四对儿前进！面对面！点头致意！交换手！互换方向！[ 778]

（夜晚的时光们一个挨一个地悄悄来到最后的那个地方。早晨、晌午和黄昏的时光们从她们面前退下去。她们戴着假面具，头发上插着匕首，套着铃铛串成的音色低沉的手镯。她们精疲力竭，隔着面纱行屈膝礼。）

手镯们

嗨嗬！嗨嗬！

佐伊

（滴溜溜地旋转着，手搭凉棚）哦！

马金尼

排在中间！女人手拉手作链条！呈篮子状！背对背！[ 779]

（她们疲倦地将身体屈向前，一足落地，一足后伸，两手前后平伸，在地板上组成图案。织毕又拆开，行屈膝礼，打着转转翩翩起舞，简直构成漩涡形。）

佐伊

我发晕啦！

（她挣脱开，瘫倒在一把椅子上。斯蒂芬一把抓住弗洛莉，跟她一道旋转起来。）

马金尼

揉面包！兜圈子！手搭桥！摇木马！螺旋形！[780]

（夜晚的时光们忽而扭在一起，忽而松开，相互拉着的手来回交替，将胳膊弯成弓形，用动作构成拼花图样。斯蒂芬和弗洛莉笨拙地旋转着。）

马金尼

跟女伴跳舞！调换舞伴！送小小的花束给女伴！互相道谢！[ 781]

自动钢琴

美极了，美极了，

吧啦蹦！

吉蒂

（跳起来）哦，在迈勒斯义卖会的旋转木马上，就奏这个曲子来着！

（她朝斯蒂芬奔去。他唐突地撇下弗洛莉，又抓住吉蒂。一只苍鸻的尖叫声像哨子般地刺耳。托夫特那笨重的旋转木马，呻吟抱怨咯咯响，朝右慢腾腾地旋转，在室内兜着圈子。）

自动钢琴

我的妞儿是个约克郡姑娘。

佐伊

地地道道的约克郡姑娘！[ 782]

都来跳吧！

（她抓住弗洛莉，同她跳起华尔兹舞。）

斯蒂芬

独舞！

（他把吉蒂旋转到林奇的怀抱中，从桌上抓起他那根梣木手杖，参加跳舞。大家滴溜溜地旋转着，翩翩跳起华尔兹舞：布卢姆与贝洛，吉蒂与林奇，弗洛莉与佐伊，嚼着枣味胶糖的女人们。斯蒂芬头戴帽子，手执梣木杖，脚像青蛙似的叉开，对准半空，不高不低地踢着脚。他闭着嘴，半撂着的手放在大腿下。槌子丁当铿锵咚咚乱响，吹号角的嗬嗬地吹着。蓝、绿、黄色的闪光。托夫特那笨重的木马旋转着，骑手们晃来晃去地悬挂在镀金蛇上。腑脏跳方登戈舞[783] ，踢起泥土，用脚踩拍子，随即停了下来。）

自动钢琴

她虽是工厂姑娘。

却不穿花哨衣裳。[784]

（他们紧紧地搂抱着，在眩目、灿烂、摇曳的光芒中，迅速、愈益迅速，嗖嗖嗖，飞也似地走过，脚步声沉重而响亮。吧啦嘣！）

全体

再来一个！再来一个！[785] 妙啊！再来一个！

西蒙

替你妈妈娘家的人想一想！

斯蒂芬

死亡的舞蹈。

（当啷，伙计的手铃又当啷一声。马、驽马、阉牛、猪仔，康米神父骑着基督驴[786] ，拄着拐的独脚瘸腿水兵在小艇上交抱着胳膊，拉纤，跛行，跺脚，跳的整个儿是号笛舞[787] 。吧啦嘣！骑着驽马、阉猪、系着铃裆的马、加大拉[ 788] 猪，科尼[ 789] 在棺材里。钢铁鲨鱼[790] 、石头独臂纳尔逊，两个狡猾的婆娘[791] 身上满是李子汁，大声喊着从婴儿车[792] 里滚下来。天啊，他是无与伦比的。[793] 酒桶出贵族[794] ，蓝色的引线[795] ，洛夫神父[796] 晚祷，布莱泽斯乘轻便二轮马车，盲人[797] ，恰似鳕鱼那样蜷缩着身子[798] 骑自行车的人们，迪丽拿着雪酥糕[799] ，不穿花哨衣裳。最后，是一场“之”字形舞，动作迟缓，步子沉重，一上一下，酿酒桶[800] 嘎噔嘎噔的。合乎总督和王后[801]的口味，呱嗒呱嗒噼通扑通玫瑰花。吧拉嘣！）

（一对对舞伴退到一旁去。斯蒂芬跳得眩晕起来，屋子朝后旋转。他双目紧闭，脚步蹒跚。红栅栏朝着宇宙飞去。太阳周围的全部星辰绕着大圈子旋转。亮的蠓虫在墙上跳舞。他猛地停了下来。）

斯蒂芬

嗬！

（斯蒂芬的母亲憔悴不堪，僵直地穿过地板出现了。她身穿癞病患者的灰衣服，手执枯谢的桔花环，披着扯破的婚纱。面容枯槁，没有鼻子，坟里的霉菌使她浑身发绿。她披散着稀疏的长发，用眼圈发蓝的凹陷的眼窝凝视斯蒂芬，张开牙齿掉光了的嘴，说了句无音的话。童贞女和听忏悔的神父组成的唱诗班唱着无声之歌。）

唱诗班

饰以百合的光明的是司铎群……

极乐圣童贞之群……[802]

（勃克·穆利根身穿深褐与浅黄色相问的小丑服，头戴装有旋涡形铃铛的丑角帽，站在那里目瞪口呆地凝视着她。他手里拿着掰开来涂了黄油、热气腾腾的甜烤饼。）

勃克·穆利根

她死得怪惨的。真可怜！穆利根遇见了那位不幸的母亲。（他把两眼朝上一翻。）墨丘利·玛拉基！[803]

母亲

（脸上泛着难以捉摸的微笑，显示出死亡带来的疯狂）我曾经是美丽的梅·古尔丁。我死啦。

斯蒂芬

（吓得发抖）狐猴[804] ，你是谁？不。这是什么妖魔耍的鬼把戏？

勃克·穆利根

（摇着他帽子上那旋涡形铃铛）真是恶作剧！金赤这小狗[805]杀了那母狗婆娘。她翘辫子啦。（溶化了的黄油泪从他的两眼里滴到甜烤饼上。）我们的伟大而可爱的母亲[806！葡萄紫的大海[ 807] 。

母亲

（挨近了些，轻轻地朝他呼出一股湿灰的气味）斯蒂芬，这是人人都得经受的。世上女人比男人多。[808] 你也一样。时候会到来的。

斯蒂芬

（惊愕、悔恨和恐惧使他喘不上气来。）母亲，他们说是我杀死你的。那家伙亵渎了对你的记忆。是癌症害死你的，不是我。这是命运。

母亲

（嘴的一边嘀嘀嗒嗒地淌下绿色胆汁。）你曾为我唱过那首歌。“爱情那苦涩的奥秘”。[809]

斯蒂芬

（热切地）妈妈，要是你现在知道的话，就告诉我那个字眼吧。那是大家都晓得的字眼。[810]

母亲

那个晚上，当你和帕迪在多基[811] 跳上火车的时候，是谁救的你？当你在陌生人当中感到悲哀的时候，是谁可怜过你？祷告是万能的。念乌尔苏拉祈祷书里那段为受苦灵魂的经文，就可以获得四十天大赦。[812] 悔改吧，斯蒂芬。

斯蒂芬

食尸鬼！鬣狗！

母亲

我在另一个世界[ 813] 为你祷告。每天晚上用完脑子以后，叫迪丽给你煮点大米粥。自打在肚子里怀上你，多少年来我一直爱着你。哦，我的儿子，我的头一胎。

佐伊

（用大扇子扇着自己）我都快融化啦！

弗洛莉

（指着斯蒂芬）瞧！他脸色苍白。

布卢姆

（走到窗边，把它开大一些）叫人发晕。

母亲

（两眼露出闷郁的神色）悔改吧！啊，地狱的火焰！

斯蒂芬

（气喘吁吁）经受永劫之火[814] ！啖尸肉者！刚砍下来的头和鲜血淋漓的骨头[815] 。

母亲

（她的脸越挨越近，发出湿灰气息。）当心哪！（她拾起那变黑了的、干瘪的右臂，扎煞着手指，慢慢伸向斯蒂芬的胸口。）当心天主的 手！[816]

（一只长着一双恶毒的红眼睛的绿螃蟹，将它那龇牙咧嘴 的钳子深深戳进斯蒂芬的心脏。）

斯蒂芬

（怒不可遏，几乎窒息，面容变得灰暗苍老。）狗屎！

布卢姆

（在窗边）怎么啦，

斯蒂芬

天哪，没什么！[817] 理智的想象！对我来说：要么得到一切，要么一无所有。[818] 我不侍奉。[819]

弗洛莉

给他点儿冷水。等一等。（她连忙跑出去。）

母亲

（缓慢地使劲扭着双手）噢，耶稣圣心啊，怜悯他吧！啊，神圣的圣心啊！拯救他免下地狱。

斯蒂芬

不！不！不！你们在家有本事就挫我的锐气吧。我将叫你们一个个屈膝投降！

母亲

（临死时痛苦地挣扎着，发出痰声）主啊，为了我的缘故，可怜可怜斯蒂芬吧！当我在骷髅冈[820] 上怀着爱、悲哀和凄楚咽气的时候，我的痛苦是难以形容的。

斯蒂芬

护身剑！[821]

（他用双手高高举起梣木杖，把枝形吊灯击碎。时光那最后一缕死灰色火焰往上一蹿，紧接着在一片黑暗中，是整个空间的毁灭，玻璃碎成碴儿，砖石建筑坍塌下来。[822] ）

瓦斯灯

卟呋咯！

布卢姆

住手！

林奇

（冲上前去，抓住斯蒂芬的手。）喂！别这样！不要胡闹！

贝拉

警察！

（斯蒂芬丢掉梣木手杖，将头和胳膊僵直地往后一挺，跺着地板，从门口的娼妇们当中穿过，逃出屋子。）

贝拉

（叫嚷）追上他！

（两个妓女奔到大门口。林奇、吉蒂和佐伊从屋里争先恐后地跑出去。他们激动他说着话。布卢姆也跟了出去，又返回来。）

妓女们

（簇拥在大门口，指着）在那儿哪。

佐伊

（指着）哦，准是出了什么事。

贝拉

灯钱归谁赔？（她一把抓住布卢姆的上衣后摆。）嘿，你跟他在一块儿来着，灯被打碎了。

布卢姆

（冲到门厅，又奔跑回来）什么灯呀，大娘？

一个妓女

他的上衣撕破了。

贝拉

（眼神冷酷，充满了愤怒与贪婪，指着）谁来赔这个？十先令。你是见证人。

布卢姆

（抓起斯蒂芬的梣木手杖）我？十先令？难道你还没从他那儿捞够吗？难道他没……？

贝拉

（大声地）喂，别说大话啦。这里可不是窑子。这是十先令的店。

布卢姆

（他把头伸到灯下，拽了一下链子。刚一拽，瓦斯灯光的映照下，一个破碎了的淡紫色罩子便映入眼帘。他举起梣木手杖。）只打碎了灯罩。他不过是……

贝拉

（退缩，尖叫） 唉呀！可别！

布卢姆

（把手杖闪开）我只想让你看看他是怎样打那罩子的。造成的损害还到不了六便士呢。十先令！

弗洛莉

（端着一杯水进来）他哪儿去啦？

贝拉

你要我去喊警察吗？

布卢姆

哦，我知道，宅院里的斗犬[823] 。然而他可是三一学院的学生。那儿净是你们这个店的主顾。替你们出房租的先生们[824] 。（他做了个共济会会员的手势[825] 。）你明白我的意思吗？他是副院长的侄子哩。你不愿意闹出丑闻吧。

贝拉

（愤然）三一学院。赛艇以后闯到这儿来，胡闹一气，连一个便士也不掏。你在这儿是我的长官吗？他在哪儿？我要控告他！让他丢尽了脸！我说到做到！（大声嚷）佐伊！佐伊！

布卢姆

（穷追不舍）这要是你那个在牛津的亲儿子呢？（用警告的口吻）我知道。[826]

贝拉

（几乎说不出话来）您是哪一位？微服私访！

佐伊

（在大门口）那儿有人打架哪。

布卢姆

什么？哪儿，（他往桌子上丢了一枚先令，然后说）这是灯罩钱。在哪儿？我需要吸点山里的空气。[827]

（他匆匆穿过门厅走到外面。娼妓们在指着。弗洛莉跟在后面，从她歪拿着的玻璃酒杯一路洒下水来。所有聚在大门口台阶上的娼妓们都指着雾已消散了的右方，七嘴八舌他说着。从左手辚辚地驶来了一辆出租马车。它逐渐减慢了速度，停在房前。布卢姆在大门口瞅见科尼·凯莱赫正要跟两个闷声不响的淫棍一道走下马车。贝拉在门厅里催促着手下的娼妓们。她们给以黏黏涎涎、吧唧吧唧的飞吻。科尼·凯莱赫报以幽灵般轻薄的微笑。一言不发的淫棍们转身去付钱给马车夫。佐伊和吉蒂还在朝右边指着。布卢姆飞快地从她们二人当中穿过去，把他那哈里发的头巾拉得低低的，整理一下，穗饰披肩，将脸扭向一边，匆忙冲下台阶。布卢姆伊然成了微服出访的哈伦·拉希德[ 828] ，从淫棍们背后穿过去，沿着栏杆，以豹子般的飞毛腿往前冲去，一路抛撒着在大回香籽汁里浸泡过的一个撕破了的信封，留下臭迹[829] 。每迈一步，梣木手杖便戳出一个印儿。三一学院的霍恩布洛尔头戴嗬嗬帽[830] ，身穿灰色长裤，手里抡着一根狗鞭，领着一群警大，远远地跟在后面。它们嗅着那股气味，靠近一些，长吠一声，气喘吁吁，失掉了臭迹，四散奔跑，耷拉着舌头，又咬布卢姆的脚后跟，在他后面跳跳蹦蹦。他忽走忽跑，忽而按“之”字形前进，忽而又飞奔起来，两耳贴着后脑勺。砂砾、白菜帮子、饼干匣、鸡蛋、土豆、死鳕鱼、妇女所趿拉的拖鞋[831]都雨点子般地朝他掷过来。重新嗅到气味的一群“学领袖样儿”[832] 的队伍取“之”字形，大喊大叫，吵吵闹闹地奔跑着追逐他，其中包括夜警丙六十五号和丙六十六号、约翰·亨利·门顿、威兹德姆·希利、维·B·狄龙、参议员南尼蒂、亚历山大·凯斯、拉利·奥鲁尔克、乔·卡夫、奥多德太太、精明鬼伯克、无名氏、赖尔登太太[833] 、“市民”、加里欧文、某人、陌生面孔、似曾相识者、一面之缘者、伙伴、克里斯·卡利南、查尔斯·卡梅伦爵士、[834] 本杰明·多拉德、利内翰、巴特尔·达西、乔·海因斯、红穆雷、编辑布雷顿、蒂·迈·希利、菲茨吉本法官先生[835] 、约翰·霍华德·巴涅尔、可敬的鲑鱼罐头萨蒙、乔利教授[836] 、布林太太、丹尼斯·布林、西奥多·普里福伊、米娜·普里福伊、韦斯特兰横街邮政局女局长[837]、C.P.麦科伊、莱昂斯的朋友、“独脚”霍罗翰[838]、街上的男人、街上的另一男人、足球靴子、狮子鼻汽车司机、新教徒阔太太、戴维·伯恩、艾伦·麦吉尼斯太太[839] 、乔·加拉赫太太[ 840] 、乔治·利德维尔、长了鸡眼的吉米·亨利[841] 、拉拉西校长[842] 、考利神父、曾在税务局任职的克罗夫顿、丹·道森、手持镊子的牙医布卢姆[843] 、鲍勃·多兰太太、肯内菲克太太、怀思·诺兰太太、约翰·怀思·诺兰、在驶往克朗斯基亚的电车里的那位将大屁股蹭过来的漂亮的有夫之妇[844] 、出售《偷情的快乐》的书摊老板、杜比达特小姐——而且她真的吃了[845] 、罗巴克[846] 的杰拉德·莫兰太太和斯但尼斯劳斯·莫兰太太、德里米[847] 的事务员、韦瑟亚普、海斯上校[848] 、马斯添斯基、西特伦[849]、彭罗斯[850]、艾伦·菲加泽尔[851] 、摩西·赫佐格、迈克尔·E。杰拉蒂[852] 、警官特洛伊[853] 、加尔布雷斯太太[854] 、埃克尔斯街拐角处的警官、带着听诊器的老医生布雷迪[855] 、海滨上的神秘人物[856] 、衔回猎物的狗、米莉亚姆·丹德拉德太太[857] 和她所有的情人。）

叫嚣声

（慌慌张张，气恼混乱）他就是布卢姆！拦住布卢姆！把布卢姆截住！截住强盗！

喂！喂！在拐角那儿堵住他！

（布卢姆上气不接下气地来到比弗街[ 858] 的脚手架下，在喧嚣地吵着架的一簇人边上停下脚步。至于是谁在骂骂咧咧地吵着什么，围观者完全不摸头脑。）

斯蒂芬

（以优美的姿态，缓慢地深呼吸）你们是我的客人。不速之客。多亏了乔治五世和爱德华七世。[859]看来这要怪历史。[860] 记忆的母亲们所编的寓言。[861]

士兵卡尔

（对西茜·卡弗里）这家伙是在侮辱你吗？

斯蒂芬

我用女性称呼跟她寒暄来着。也许是中性。不生格。[862]

众人的声音

没有，他没有。我看见他啦，那个姑娘。他去科恩太太那儿了。出了什么事？士兵和市民搅在一起。

西茜·卡弗里

我跟士兵们呆在一块儿来着，后来他们方便去了，你知道，于是这个小伙子从我背后跑了过来。我对在我身上花钱的主顾是讲信用的，尽管我只是个一次一先令的婊子。

众人的声音

她对男人是讲信用的。

斯蒂芬

（瞧见了林奇和吉蒂的头）你们好，西绪福斯[863]。（他指着自己和旁人。）富于诗意。有新诗情趣。

西茜·卡弗里

是啊，谁跟他走。我跟一个当兵的朋友走！

士兵康普顿

这个下贱东西就欠挨个耳光。哈里，揍他一拳。

士兵卡尔

对西茜）当我和他去撒尿的时候，这家伙侮辱你来着吗？

丁尼生勋爵

（一位绅士诗人，身着美国国旗图案的鲜艳夺目的运动上衣，下身是打板球穿的法兰绒裤子。秃头，胡子飘垂着。）他们用不着去问个究竟。[ 864]

士兵康普顿

揍他，哈里。

斯蒂芬

（对士兵康普顿）我叫不出你的名字啦，但你说得很对。斯威夫特博士说过，一个全副武装的能打倒十个穿衬衫的人。[865]衬衫是举隅法。举一反三，举三反一。

西茜·卡弗里

（对群众）不，我曾跟士兵们呆在一起。

斯蒂芬

（和蔼地）为什么不能？勇敢的少年兵[866] 。依我看，比方说，每一位妇女……

士兵卡尔

（歪戴着军帽，朝斯蒂芬走来。）喂，老板，我要是朝你的下巴颏来上一拳，怎么样？

斯蒂芬

（仰望天空）怎么样？非常不舒服。自吹的高尚技艺。[867]就我个人来说，我憎恶行动。（他挥挥手。）我的手有点儿疼。这毕竟是你们的争吵，不是我的。[868]（对西茜·卡弗里）这儿有什么纠纷。究竟是怎么回事呀？

多利·格雷[869]

（从她家的阳台上挥着手绢，做那利哥女杰的记号。）喇合。[870] 再见吧，厨师的儿子。[ 871] 平平安安地回到多利那里吧。在梦中与你撇下的姑娘[872] 相会吧，她也会梦见你。

（士兵们将眩晕的眼睛转向她。）

布卢姆

（用臂肘拨开人群，使劲拽斯蒂芬的袖子。）马上就去吧。老师，车夫在等着哪。

斯蒂芬

（掉过身来）呃？（挣脱开）凭什么不让我跟他或是在这扁圆形桔子[873]上笔直地走着的任何人说话呢？（用指头指着）只要看到对方的眼睛，跟谁说话我都不怕。保持直直地站着的姿势。（他蹒跚地后退一步。）

布卢姆

（扶住他）你自己可要保持平衡。

斯蒂芬

（发出空洞的笑声）我的重心已经移动了。我忘记了窍门儿。咱们找个地方坐下来谈谈吧。生存竞争是人生的规律，然而人类的和平爱好者，尤其是沙皇和英国国王，却发明了仲裁术。[874]（他拍拍自己的前额。）但是在这里，我必须杀死教士和国王。[875]

患淋病的女仆

你们听见教授说的话了吗？他是学院里的教授哩。

坎蒂[876] ·凯特

听见了。我听见啦。

患淋病的女仆

他是用那么极为文雅的语言来表达自己。

坎蒂·凯特

对，可不是嘛。可同时既尖锐锋利，又恰到好处。

士兵卡尔

（甩开拦住他的人，迈步向前。）你在怎么说我的国王来着？ （爱德华七世在拱廊上出现。他身穿绣着圣心[877] 的白色运动衫，胸间佩带着嘉德勋章、蓟花勋章、金羊毛勋章、丹麦的象勋章、[878]斯金纳与普罗宾的骑兵章[879] 、林肯法学团体[880] 主管委员章、古老光荣的马萨诸塞炮兵连队[881] 队徽。他嘴里嘬着红色枣味胶糖[882] ，身穿被推选出来的堂皇完美崇高的共济会会员的衣服，右手拿着袜子，系着围裙，上面标明“德国制造”[883]，左手提着用印刷体写着“禁止小便”字样的泥水匠的桶。人们以雷鸣般的欢呼声来迎接他。）

爱德华七世

（缓慢、庄重，然而含糊不清地）和平，真正的和平。[884] 为了表明身分，朕手里特提着此桶，小伙子们，你们好。（他转向臣民们。）朕来此是为目睹一场光明正大、势均力敌的角斗的。朕衷心祝愿双方好运。你的老于诡计多端[885]。 他同士兵卡尔、士兵康普顿、斯蒂芬、布卢姆和林奇握手。）

（掌声雷动。爱德华七世谦和地举起手中的桶，以表谢意。）

士兵卡尔

（对斯蒂芬）再说一遍。

斯蒂芬

（紧张不安，态度友好，竭力打起精神。）我明白你的见解，尽管眼下我自己没有国王。这是专利成药的时代。在这么个地方很难进行议论。然而要点是：你为你的国家而死。假定是如此。（他把自己的胳膊搭在士兵卡尔的袖子上。）我并不希望你会这样。不过我说：让我的国家为我而亡吧。[886]到目前为止，已经是这样了。我并不曾希望祖国灭亡。灭亡，去他妈的吧。生命永垂不朽！

爱德华七世

（飘浮在成堆的被屠杀者尸体上面。他身穿滑稽的耶稣[887] 的衣裳，头上为耶稣的光晕所环绕。那张散发着磷光的脸上有一颗白色的枣味胶糖。）

我有个新颖办法，人人都称奇：

尘埃丢进盲者眼，立刻就复明。[888]

斯蒂芬

国王们和独角兽们！[889]（他朝后退了一步。）咱们找个地方去……那个姑娘说什么来着？……

士兵康普顿

喂，哈里，朝他的睾丸踢上一脚，给阴茎也来一下子。

布卢姆

（轻声地对士兵们）他自己都不晓得在说些什么。喝得有点过了头，在作怪呢，苦艾酒。绿妖精[890] 。我了解他。他是个有身分的人，一位诗人。不会有什么事的。

斯蒂芬

（点点头，笑逐颜开）有身分的人，爱国主义者，学者，又是审判骗子的法官。

士兵卡尔

我才管不着他是谁呢。

士兵康普顿

我们才管不着他是谁呢。

斯蒂芬

我好像把他们惹恼了，拿绿布给公牛看。[891]

（巴黎的凯文·伊根身穿有着西班牙式流苏的黑色衬衫，头戴晓党[892]式的帽子，对斯蒂芬打了个手势。）

凯文·伊根

喂，早安！[893] 长着黄牙齿[894] 的母夜叉。[895]。

（帕特里克·伊根[ 896] 从后面窥伺，他有着一张兔子般的脸，正在啃着榅桲叶。）

帕特里克

社会主义者[897] ！

堂埃米尔·帕特里吉奥·弗兰兹·

鲁佩尔托·蒲柏，亨尼西[898]

（披戴着中世纪的锁子甲和有着两只野鹅飞翔图案的头盔。出于崇高的义愤，伸出一只戴着连环甲的手，指着士兵们。）把这些犹太佬打趴在脚下，浑身都是肉汁的大肥猪，卑鄙的英国佬们！[899]

布卢姆

（对斯蒂芬）回家来吧。你会惹上麻烦的。

斯蒂芬

（恍恍惚惚地）我才不逃跑呢。是他对我的理智进行挑衅。

患淋病的女仆

一眼就看得出他是贵族出身。

悍妇

绿胜似红。这是沃尔夫·托恩说的。[900]

老鸨

红不比绿差。还更强呢。士兵万岁！爱德华国王万岁！

粗野的人

（笑）唉！向德威特[901] 投降吧。

“市民”

（围着鲜绿色大头巾，手执橡木捧，喊叫着。）

祈愿天主从上苍，

一只鸽子派世上，

牙齿锋利若剃刀，

割破英国狗咽喉，

多少爱尔兰领袖，

被他们送上绞架。

推平头的小伙子[902]

（脖子上套着绞索，用双手按住淌出来的内脏。）

对世人我不仇恨，

爱祖国胜过国王。

恶魔理发师朗博尔德[903]

（在两个戴黑面具的帮助伴随下，提着一只旅行包、边往前走，边掏它打开。）女士们，先生们，这把大菜刀是皮尔西太太为了砍死莫格而买的。[904] 这把餐刀是沃伊辛用来肢解一位同胞的老婆的。他用床单将尸体裹起，藏在地窖里。那个不幸的女人的咽喉被从右耳割断到左耳。这是从巴伦小姐的尸体里提取的砒霜，塞登就因而被送上了绞架[905] 。

（他突然拽了一下绞索。助手们蹿跳到被害者脚下，边咕哝边把他往下拽，推平头的小伙子的舌头猛地耷拉下来。）

推平头的小伙子

忘、记、为、母、祈、冥、福。[906]

（他咽了气。由于被绞死者急剧的勃起[907] ，精液透过尸体进溅到鹅卵石上。贝林厄姆夫人、耶尔弗顿·巴里夫人和默雯·塔尔博伊贵夫人赶紧冲上前，用她们的手绢把精液蘸起。）

朗博尔德

我自己也快轮到了。（他解开绞索。）这是曾经绞死过可怕的反叛者的绳索。经向女王陛下请示，每次是十先令。[908]（他把头扎进被绞死者那剖开的肚子里，等到伸出来时，上面已经粘满了盘绕在一起、热气腾腾的肠子。）我的痛苦的职务已经完成。上帝保佑国王！

爱德华七世

（缓慢、庄严地跳舞，咯咯咯咯地敲打着桶，心满意足地柔声歌唱。）

在加冕日，在加冕日，

啊，咱们快乐一番好吗？

喝威士忌、啤酒和葡萄酒！[909]

士兵卡尔

喂。关于我的国王，你说什么来着？

斯蒂芬

（举起双手）哦，别老说车轱辘话啦！我什么也没说。为了他那野蛮帝国，他要我的钱，还要我的命，而他本来就是伺候“索取”这个主子的。钱，我是没有的。（他面无表情地在兜里掏来掏去。）给了什么人啦。

士兵卡尔

谁希罕你那臭钱？

斯蒂芬

（想走开）有谁能够告诉我，在什么地方最能躲开这种无可避免的灾难呢？在巴黎也有这类事。[910] 并不是我……然而，凭着圣帕特里克的名义[911] ……！

（几个妇女把头凑在一起。缺牙老奶奶戴着一顶塔糖状的帽子，坐在毒菌[912] 上出现，胸前插着一朵生枯萎病凋谢了的土豆花。）

斯蒂芬

哎嘿！我认识你，老奶奶！哈姆莱特，报复！[913] 吃掉自己的猪崽子的老母猪！

[914]

缺牙老奶奶

（来回晃悠）爱尔兰的情入，西班牙国王的女儿，我亲爱的。[915]对我家里的陌生人[9116]可不能讲礼貌！（她像狺女[927] 那样不祥地恸哭着。）哎哟！哎哟！毛皮像绢丝般的牛[918] （她哀号着说。）你遇见了可怜的老爱尔兰，她怎样啦[919] ？

斯蒂芬

我怎么来容忍你好呢？帽子的戏法！[920] 三位一体的第三位在哪儿呢？我热爱的教士[921]吗？可敬的吃腐肉的乌鸦[922] 。

西茜·卡弗里

（尖声尖气）拦住，别让他们打起来！

粗野的人

我们的士兵撤退啦。

士兵卡尔

（勒紧自己的皮带）哪个混帐家伙敢说一句反对我那混蛋国王的话，我就拧断他的脖子！

布卢姆

（害起怕来）他什么也没说。一个字也没说。纯粹是一场误会。

士兵康普顿

干吧，哈里。照他眼睛上给一拳。他是个亲布尔[923]派。

斯蒂芬

我说过吗？什么时候？

布卢姆

（对于红衣兵们）我们为你们在南非打过仗。对，爱尔兰的射击队。这不就是史实吗？都柏林近卫步兵连队。我们的君主曾表彰过[924]。

壮工

（脚步蹒跚地走过去）哦，对啦！哦，夭哪，对！哦，打吧，狠狠地打吧！哦！布[925] ！

（披甲戴铠的戟兵在枪尖上挑着一堆呈斜顶棚状的内脏，伸了过来，特威迪鼓手长留着可怕的土耳克[926] 那样的口髭，头顶插有鸟颈毛的熊皮帽，军服上佩带着肩章和镀金的山形袖章，腰刀带上挂着佩囊，胸前是亮晃晃的勋章，准备进击。他打了个圣殿骑士团[927]的朝圣武士的手势。）

特威迪鼓手长

（粗暴地咆哮）洛克滩[928] ！禁卫军，振奋起来，向他们进攻！快抢，速夺！[929]

士兵卡尔[ 930]

我要干掉他。

士兵康普顿

（让群众往后退。）这里讲究公平合理。把这坏蛋宰得血淋淋的，像在肉店里那样。（多人组成的乐队奏起“加里欧文”和《上帝拯救我们的国王》。[931]）

西茜·卡弗里

他们快要打起来了。为了我！

坎蒂·凯特

勇士与丽人[932]呗。

患淋病的女仆

我认为那位黑衣骑士的马上枪法是首屈一指的。

坎蒂·凯特

（脸上涨得通红）不，太太。我支持的是穿红色紧身上衣的那位快活的圣乔治！[ 933]

斯蒂芬

妓女走街串巷到处高呼，

为老爱尔兰织起裹尸布。[934]

士兵卡尔

（边松开他的皮带边喊 ）哪个他妈的杂种敢说一句反对我那残暴的混蛋国王的话，我就拧断他的脖子！

布卢姆

（摇撼西茜·卡弗里的肩膀）说呀，你！你给吓成哑巴了吗？ 你是国民与国民、世代与世代之间的纽带呀。说吧，女人，神圣的生命之赐与者[935]！

西茜·卡弗里

（惊慌，抓住士兵卡尔的袖子。）我不是跟你呆在一起的吗？我不是你的姑娘吗？西茜是你的姑娘呀。（她喊叫。）警察！

斯蒂芬

（欣喜若狂地对西茜·卡弗里）

双手白净红嘴唇，

你的身子真娇嫩。[936]

众声

警察！

远处，众声

都柏林着火啦！都柏林着火啦！[937] 着火啦，着火啦！

（硫磺火熊熊燃烧。浓云滚滚。重加特林机枪[938] 轰鸣着。魔窟。队伍疏散开来。马蹄飞奔。炮兵队。嘶哑的发号施令声。钟声铿锵。赌客吆喝。醉汉大喊大嚷。娼妓尖叫。雾笛嘟嘟。勇士大吼。临终发出的悲鸣。铁镐丁丁当当地敲着胸甲。[ 939] 盗贼剥走被害者的衣物。猛禽们或从海上飞来，或从沼地腾空而起，或从崖上的巢窝俯冲猛扑，盘旋嘶鸣：成群的塘鹅、鸬鹚、秃骛、苍鹰：山鹬、游隼、灰背隼、黑琴鸡、白尾鹰、鸥、信天翁、北极黑雁。午夜的日头暗了下来。大地震动。[940]来自前景公墓和杰罗姆山公墓[941] 的都柏林死者们复活了。他们有的身着白绵羊皮外套，有的披着黑山羊皮斗篷[942] ，在很多人面前出现。一个裂缝无声地张开了大口。冠军汤姆·罗赤福特身着运动员背心和短裤，在全国跳栏障碍赛中领先，接着纵身跳进真空。参加竞赛的人们或跑或跳地跟在后面。他们狂热地从悬崖边沿往下跳，身子倒载葱地跌下去。穿着花哨衣裳的工厂姑娘[ 943] 掷出一颗颗炽热的约克郡炸弹。社交界的显贵妇女们将裙子撩到头顶上，保护着自己。大笑着的魔女[944] 身穿红色短衬衣，骑着扫帚把腾空而去。公谊会教徒利斯特[945]在水庖上贴了膏药。龙牙如雨注。从垄沟里跳出一批全副武装的英雄们。[946]他们友好地交换红十字骑士团[947] 的口令，用骑兵的军刀比武：沃尔夫·托恩对亨利·格拉顿[948] ，史密斯。奥布赖恩对丹尼尔·奥康内尔[949] ，迈克尔·达维特对伊萨克。巴特[950] ），贾斯廷·麦卡锡对巴涅尔[951] ，阿瑟·格里菲思对约翰·雷德蒙[ 952] ，约翰·奥利里对利尔奥·约翰尼[953]，爱德华·菲茨杰拉德勋爵对杰拉德·菲茨爱德华勋爵[ 954]， 峡谷的奥德诺霍对奥德诺霍的峡谷。[955]大地中央的高处，矗立着圣女芭巴拉[ 956] 的祭台。放福音书和放使徒书信的角上，各竖着一支黑蜡烛。从塔那高高的碉楼，两道光束倾泻至轻烟缭绕的祭台石面上。背理女神·米娜·普里福伊太太套着脚镣，赤条条地躺在祭台石面上，鼓起的肚皮上放着圣爵。玛拉基·奥弗林神父穿着网织衬裙和把里子翻过来的祭披；他有一双反长着的左脚，[957]正在举行露营弥撒。可敬的文学硕士休·C·海恩斯·洛夫教士先生，[958]身穿素净的黑袍，戴学士帽，脑袋和脖领都扭到后面去，）打着一把撑开的雨伞，替神父遮着头。）

玛拉基·奥弗林神父

（我要走向魔鬼的祭台。[ 959] ）

海恩斯·洛夫教士先生

走向年少时曾赐与我欢乐的魔鬼。[ 960]

玛拉基·奥弗林神父

（从圣爵里取出一杯鲜血淋漓的圣体，举扬之。）我的肉体。[961]

海恩斯·洛夫教士先生

（将司铎的衬裙高高撩起，露出他那插着一根胡萝卜的毛茸茸的灰色光屁股。）我的肉体。

全体被咒诅者之声

王了作主天的能全——主的们我为因，亚路利哈！[962]

（阿多奈[963] ）从空中呼唤。）

阿多奈

主——天！[964]

全体受祝福者[ 965] 之声

哈利路亚，因为我们的主——全能的天主作了王！

（阿多奈从空中呼唤。）

阿多奈

天——主！

（橙带党和绿党的农民和市民嘈杂刺耳地唱着《踢教皇》和《每天为玛利亚唱赞歌》[966]。）

士兵卡尔

（以凶猛的口吻）我要干掉他，愿混蛋基督助我！我要扭断这混帐杂种的残暴该死混蛋的气管！[967]

缺牙老奶奶

（将一把匕首朝着斯蒂芬的手递过去。）除掉他，啊，豆豆[ 968] 。上午八点三十五分你就该升天堂了，[969] 爱尔兰将获得自由。[970]（她祷告着。）哦，好天主，接纳他吧！

布卢姆

（跑向林奇）你不能把他弄走吗？

林奇

他喜欢辩证法这一人类共同语言。吉蒂！（对布卢姆）你把他弄走吧。他不听我的话。

（他拽走吉蒂。）

斯蒂芬

（指着）犹大出去。上吊自杀。[ 971]

布卢姆

（奔向斯蒂芬）趁着更坏的情况还没发生，马上就跟我走吧。这儿是你的手杖。

斯蒂芬

不要手杖。要理性。这是一次纯粹理性的筵席。

西茜·卡弗里

（拽着士兵卡尔）来呀，你喝醉啦。那家伙侮辱了我，可我原谅他，（对着卡尔的耳朵嚷）我原谅他对我的侮辱。

布卢姆

（隔着斯蒂芬的肩膀）唉，走吧。你瞧，他已经酩酊大醉啦。

士兵卡尔

（挣脱开）我要侮辱他一顿。

（他冲向斯蒂芬，伸出拳头，朝他的脸揍了一拳。斯蒂芬打了个趔趄，垮下来，倒在地上，昏迷不醒。他仰面朝天直挺挺地躺着，帽子向墙下滚去。布卢姆追在后面，将它拾起。）

特威迪鼓手长

（大声地）把卡宾枪丢开！停火！敬礼！

猎狗

（狂怒地吠着）汪汪汪汪汪汪汪汪。

群众

把他扶起来！不许打已经倒下去的人！人工呼吸！谁干的，大兵揍的他。他是个教授哩。他伤着了吗？不许粗暴地对待他！他昏死过去啦！

一个丑婆子

红衣兵凭什么揍咱们的上等人呀，而且又是喝醉了的。让他们去跟布尔人打仗好啦！

老鸨

听听是谁在说话哪！大兵凭什么就不能带着他的妞儿溜达啊！这家伙卑鄙地给了一拳。[972]

（她们相互揪住头发，用指甲抓，并且朝对方啐唾沫。）

猎狗

（吠着）汪汪汪。

布卢姆

（使劲把她们往后推，大声地）往后退，后面站！

士兵康普顿

（拽他的伙伴）喂。开溜吧，哈里，警察来啦！

（两个头戴雨帽、身材高大的巡警站到人群当中。）

巡警甲

这儿出了什么乱子？

士兵康普顿

我们跟这位小姐在一起来着。他侮辱了我们。还袭击了我的伙伴。（猎狗狂吠。）这只血腥的杂种狗是谁的？

西茜·卡弗里

（以期待口吻）他流血了吗？

一个男人

（原是屈着膝的，这时站了起来。）没有。只是晕过去啦。会缓过气儿来的。

布卢姆

（目光锐利地瞥了那人一眼）把他交给我吧。我能够很容易地就……

巡警乙

你是谁？你认识他吗，

士兵卡尔

（东倒西歪地凑到巡警跟前）是他侮辱了我的女朋友。

布卢姆

（愤怒地）他没招你没惹你，你就揍了他。是我亲眼看到的。警官，请把他的部队番号记下来。

巡警乙

我执行任务，用不着你来指手划脚。

士兵康普顿

（拽他的伙伴）喂，开溜吧，哈里。不然的话，贝内特军士长[973] 会罚你关禁闭。

士兵卡尔

（趔趔趄趄地被拽走）去他妈的老贝内特。他是个白屁股鸡奸者。狗屁不如的家伙！

巡警甲

（取出笔记本）他叫什么名字？

布卢姆

（隔着人群定睛望着）我看见那儿有辆马车。要是您肯为我搭把手，巡官……

巡警甲

姓名和地址。

（科尼·凯莱赫手执送殡的花圈，帽子周围缠着黑纱，出

现在围观者当中。）

布卢姆

（快嘴快舌地）哦，来得正好！（打耳喳）西蒙·迪达勒斯的儿子。有点儿醉啦。让警察们叫这些起哄的往后退一退。

巡警乙

晚安，凯莱赫先生。

科尼·凯莱赫

（对巡警，睡眼惺松地）不要紧的。我认识他。赛马赢了点儿钱。金杯奖。“丢掉”。（他笑了笑。）以二十博一。你明白我的话吗？

巡警甲

（转向人群）喂，你们大家张着嘴在瞧什么哪？快给我躲开。

（群众慢慢地沿着小巷散开，一路上还咕咕哝哝着。）

科尼·凯莱赫

交给我吧，巡官。不要紧的。（他笑着，摇摇头。）咱们自己当年也往往那样荒唐过，可不，也许还更厉害呢。怎么样？呃，怎么样？

巡警甲

（笑）那倒也是。

科尼·凯莱赫

（用臂时轻轻捅捅巡警乙）这事儿就一笔勾销吧。（他摇头晃脑，快活地唱着。）我的吐啦噜，吐啦噜，吐啦噜，吐啦噜。[974]怎么，呃，你明白我的话吗？

巡警乙

（和蔼地）啊，咱们确实是过来人。

科尼·凯莱赫

（眨巴眼儿）小伙子们就是那样的。我有一辆车在那儿。

巡警乙

好吧，凯莱赫先生。晚安。

科尼·凯莱赫

这件事我会处理的。

布卢姆

（轮流与两个巡警握手）非常感激你们，先生们，谢谢你们。（像是在说悄悄话般地咕哝）你们也知道，我们并不愿意引起丑闻。他父亲是一位声望极高、很受尊重的市民。

巡警甲

噢，先生，我明白。

巡警乙

那蛮好，先生。

巡警甲

只有在有人受到伤害的情况下，我才得向局里汇报。

布卢姆

（赶紧点头）敢情。说得对。这只是你们的职责所在。

巡警乙

这是我们的职责。

科尼·凯莱赫

晚安，二位。

巡警们

（一道敬礼）晚安，先生们。

（他们迈着沉重的脚步慢慢离去。）

布卢姆

（喘口气）多亏了你来到现场，这是天意啊。你有辆车吗？……

科尼·凯莱赫

（边笑边隔着右肩用拇指指着停在脚手架旁的马车。）两个推销员在詹米特餐馆[975]请我喝香摈酒来着。简直像王侯一样，真的。他们中间的一个在赛马上输了两英镑。于是借酒浇愁。接着就要去跟姑娘们寻欢作乐。所以我让他们搭贝汉的车到夜街来了。

布卢姆

我正沿着加德纳街回家去，刚好碰上……

科尼·凯莱赫

（笑）他们确实也曾要我去参加冶游。我说：不，可去不得。像你我这样的老马，可使不得。（他又笑了，用呆滞的眼睛斜睨着。）谢天谢地，我们家里的就足够了。怎么样，呃，你明白我的意思吧？哈！哈！哈！

布卢姆

（勉强笑了笑）嘻、嘻、嘻！对。说实在的，我是到那儿拜访一位老朋友去的。姓维拉格，你不认识他（可怜的家伙，整个上星期他都在生病）。我们一道干了一杯，我正往家走……

（马儿嘶鸣。）

马儿

嗬嗬嗬嗬嗬嗬！嗬嗬嗬嗬哞！

科尼·凯莱赫

把两个推销员留在科恩友太的店里后，正是我们的车夫贝汉把这档子事儿告诉了我。他就在那儿哪。我叫他把车停住，下来瞧个究竟。（他笑了笑。）这位车夫没喝醉酒，赶柩车是他的本行。要不要我送他回家去？他住在哪儿？是卡布拉[976]的什么地方吧？

布卢姆

不，根据他无意中说出的，我相信是沙湾。

（斯蒂芬仰面躺在那儿，对着星星呼吸。科尼·凯莱赫慢腾腾地斜眼望着马。布卢姆心情忧郁，在一片朦胧中屈身。）

科尼·凯莱赫

（挠着后颈）沙湾！（他弯下身去，朝斯蒂芬嚷道）呃！（他又嚷）喂！反正他浑身都是刨花哩。查一查他们是不是偷走了他什么东西。

布卢姆

没有，没有，没有。他把钱交给了我。他的帽子和手杖也都在这儿哪。

科尼·凯莱赫

啊，那就好，他总会恢复神智的。喏，我要赶路了。（他笑着。）明儿早晨我还有个约会。是关于出殡的事儿。路上当心点儿！

马儿

（嘶鸣）嗬嗬嗬嗬嗬哞。

布卢姆

晚安。我再等一等，不一会儿就把这个人……

（科尼·凯莱赫回到敞篷二轮马车旁，坐了上去。马具丁当乱响。）

科尼·凯莱赫

（从马车上，站在那儿）晚安。

布卢姆

晚安。

（车夫甩甩疆绳，精神抖擞地扬起鞭子。车和马缓慢笨重地向后倒，拐了个弯。科尼·凯莱赫坐在边沿的座位上，摇晃着脑袋，嘲弄布卢姆的狼狈处境。车夫也参与了这场一言不发的哑剧的欢乐，从另一头的座位上点着头。布卢姆摇摇头，快活地作着无言的回答。科尼·凯莱赫用大拇指和手掌再一次向他保证：两个警察也别无他法，只得允许他继续睡下去。布卢姆慢腾腾地点了一下头，表示谢意，因为这正是斯蒂芬所需要的。马车发出吐啦噜的声响，辚辚地在吐啦噜巷子的尽头拐了弯。科尼·凯莱赫再度摆摆手，让他放心。布卢姆打手势告诉科尼·凯莱赫，他已经十分放心了。嘚嘚的马蹄声和丁丁当当挽具声，随着吐啦噜噜噜噜的音调，逐渐微弱了。布卢姆拿着斯蒂芬那顶挂满了刨花的帽子和梣木手杖，犹豫不决地站在那里。然后他朝斯蒂芬弯下身去，摇晃他的肩膀。）

布卢姆

呃！嗬！（没有回答。他再度弯下身去。）迪达勒斯先生！（没有回答。）得叫他的名字。梦游患者。[977]（他重新弯下身去，迟迟疑疑地把嘴凑近平卧着的斯蒂芬的脸上。）斯蒂芬！（没有回答。他又叫了一遍。）斯蒂芬！

斯蒂芬

（皱皱眉）谁？黑豹。吸血鬼。[978] （他叹了口气，伸开四肢，随即拖长母音，口齿不清地低语。）

而今谁……弗格斯驱车……

穿过……林织成的树荫？……[979]

（他边叹气边朝左边翻身，缩作一团。）

布卢姆

诗。有教养。可怜啊。（他又弯下身去，解开斯蒂芬的背心钮扣。）呼吸吧。（他用手和指头轻轻地把斯蒂芬衣服上的刨花掸掉。）一英镑七先令。好在没受伤。（他尖起耳朵去听。）什么？

斯蒂芬

（嘟喃）

……林…阴影，

……混沌的海洋……雪白的胸脯。[980]

（他摊开双臂，又叹息了一声，蜷缩起身子。布卢姆手持帽子和梣木手杖，站得直直的。一条狗在远处吠着。布卢姆忽紧忽松地握着梣木手杖，他弯下身去俯视斯蒂芬的脸和身姿。）

布卢姆

（与黑夜交谈）这张脸使我想起他那可怜的母亲。树林的阴影。深邃的雪白胸脯。我仿佛听他说是弗格森。是个姑娘。不知是哪儿的一位姑娘。他可能遇上了最大的幸运。（他嘟哝着。）……我发誓。不论是任何工作，任何技艺，我都一概接受，永远守密，绝不泄露。[981] ……（他低语。）……在海边的粗沙里……距岸边有一锚链长[982] ……那里，潮退……潮涨……

（他沉默下来，若有所思，警觉着。他用手指按着嘴唇，俨然是一位共济会师傅。一个人影背对着黑暗的墙壁徐徐出现。这是个十一岁的仙童，被仙女诱拐了去的。身穿伊顿学院的制服，脚蹬玻璃鞋，[983] 头戴小小的青铜盔，手捧一本书。他不出声地自右至左地读着[984] 笑吟吟地吻着书页。）

布卢姆

（惊异万分，不出声地呼唤）鲁迪！

鲁迪

（视而不见地凝望着布卢姆的眼睛，继续阅读，吻着，微笑着。他的脸挺秀气，是紫红色的。衣服上钉着钻石和红宝石钮扣。左手攥着一根系有紫色蝴蝶结的细长象牙手杖。一只小羊羔从他背心兜里探头偷看。）