英文幽默：男女有别(爆笑)

时间：2007-03-02 03:13:11

（单词翻译:单击）

FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
　　女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。
 
EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators1.
　　买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。
MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item2 he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
　　用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。

BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items3 in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor4, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 
　　男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。

ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
　　任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。

CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
　　女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。

SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
　　成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的；成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人的。

MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
　　女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。


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1 calculators e753a7d258e50b1ab78964e89995dcbe     
计算器( calculator的名词复数 )
参考例句：
  • Don't rely on pocket calculators." 不要靠袖珍计算器。” 来自中级百科部分
  • The sale of hand-held electronic calculators has increased at a significant rate. 袖珍电子计算器的销售量增加很快。
2 item N3Gxr     
n.项目；条款；（消息，情报等的）一条
参考例句：
  • We should go on to the next item for time is short.时间不多了，我们应该谈下一项内容。
  • Put this item on our daily work schedule.把这项工作提到议事日程上来。
3 items 691d502cfd0e0626cd3b058e5682ad1c     
n.物料项目 （任何一种自制或采购的零部件或组装件，如最终产品、部件、子部件、零件或原材料）；条( item的名词复数 )；一项；一则；一件商品（或物品）
参考例句：
  • Bulky items will be collected separately. 大件物品将分开收集。
  • Customers with ten items or less can use the express lane. 购买十件商品以内的顾客可使用快速购物通道。
4 razor GAVz7     
n.剃刀；vt.剃
参考例句：
  • I want to buy an electric razor this weekend.这个周末我想买一个电动剃须刀。
  • A sharp razor gives a close shave.剃刀锋利刮得就干净。

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