Joke: The Office Happenings

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale¹ improves. A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar² territory.

My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered³ from surprise spikes⁴ in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him.

He's given automobile⁵ accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE⁶.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding⁷ the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: " I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input⁸ would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"

HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions."

Quote from telephone inquiry⁹ "We're only hiring one summer intern¹⁰ this year and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss' daughter finishes her summer classes.