The Blotted Escutcheon and the Soiled Ermine

A BLOTTED¹ Escutcheon, rising to a question of privilege, said:

  "Mr. Speaker, I wish to hurl² back an allegation and explain that
the spots upon me are the natural markings of one who is a direct
descendant of the sun and a spotted³ fawn⁴.  They come of no accident
of character, but inhere in the divine order and constitution of
things."

  When the Blotted Escutcheon had resumed his seat a Soiled Ermine
rose and said:

  "Mr. Speaker, I have heard with profound attention and entire
approval the explanation of the honourable⁵ member, and wish to
offer a few remarks on my own behalf.  I, too, have been foully⁶
calumniated⁷ by our ancient enemy, the Infamous⁸ Falsehood, and I
wish to point out that I am made of the fur of the MUSTELA
MACULATA, which is dirty from birth."