(单词翻译:单击)
Unedited Version (the "Before")
1)Discuss the factors that influenced your career decisions to date. Also discuss your career plans and why you want to obtain an MBA.
2) Describe two events in your life to date that demonstrate your ability to do well in business
1)
Since I was four years old, my father has left my mother and I for
Second, self-satisfaction also affects my career decision. Although monetary5 reward is practically important in reality, opportunity to learn and job prospect6 are even more crucial factors for me to be really happy and satisfied. I like learning new skills and acquiring up-dated information, because they can help me adapt the fast-changing world, enrich my experiences, explore my interest, and give me higher self-esteem as I am a valuable person. In addition, a job with a bright prospect gives me incentives8 to improve myself. Thus, as I become more experienced and knowledgeable9, I can pursue a higher level of career and help others. This is my true happiness. For instance, I am now volunteering in an on campus organization, Job Link, in which I am responsible for posting jobs on the World Wide Web, answering questions and making information handouts10. I am interested in this job because I can learn how to use a software program, can improve my interpersonal skills by answering students' questions, and can enrich my research experience. These skills are valuable because I can use them in future. I can feel myself to become more productive and knowledgeable.
In short run, after graduating from the Master degree, I will work in an IT related industry, either in a consulting firm or financial institution, as a system analyst11 or a consultant12. Moreover, in my private time, I will attend a computer-programming course in order to continuously update myself and become more competitive. In long run, when I have gathered enough managerial and analysis skills and experiences, I plan to have my own consulting company.
Therefore, attending a Master Science program definitely can smooth my path to pursue my goal. The program can deepen expertise13 and broaden my perspectives. Moreover, the MIS option can help me to specialize my skills in IT areas that I have not yet learned from my undergraduate degree. Since I have been in UBC for four years, I am familiar with and have confidence in the faculty14 professors whom I believe can help me become an IT professional.
2)
Without this disease, I might not have been initiative and willing to face challenges. Without the chance of being a Special Event Director, I might not learn what the leadership skill was.
During my six years in primary school (Grade 1 to Grade 6), most of my classmates always kept distance from me and called me "alien" and I was very lonely. The reason is that I had a severe Dermatitis since I was born. My arms and legs were full of ulcers15, sores, bandages and scars. I always felt itchy and painful, and I dared not play with others. Moreover, my hairs had never been longer that two inches and I must have to wear T-shirts and shorts in summer in order to keep my skin dry and from getting infection. Some dermatologists16 even said that I was hardly fully17 recovered. However, my parents and relatives had not been given me up, and they always encouraged me and gave me unconditional18 tenders. Therefore, I had a belief that I would be recovered one day, and thus I was eager to take any challenges of trying different kinds of medication, including Western and Chinese Herbals. Although my life in the primary school was only full of pain and lonesome, I learned to be brave and to face any challenges positively19. Fortunately, during the summer vacation after graduating from the primary school, my power of resistance gradually became stronger and my disease got greatly improved. I only had some ulcers on my legs although my body was still full of scars. Since then, I realized that I should change my long-lasting lonely life and should not waste my precious secondary school life. Thus, since in Grade 7, I actively20 talked to my classmates and helped them. I also took part in many various extracurricular activities, such as VolleyBall Team, Girl Guide and Art Club. Nevertheless, one thing I still have not changed is my attitude toward risk. During every examination and competition, I told myself that I was able to do the best because nothing was tougher than the time when I was in the primary school. Before I came to
When I was in the ESL program in the college in
Edited Version (the "After")
1)Discuss the factors that influenced your career decisions to date. Also discuss your career plans and why you want to obtain an MBA. (300-500 words)
2) Describe two events in your life to date that demonstrate your ability to do well in business (300-500words)
1)
When I was four years old, my father moved from Hong Kong to
Personal satisfaction also plays a key role in my career decision. While monetary rewards are of practical importance, true job satisfaction springs from the opportunity to grow and learn within an industry. I enjoy acquiring new skills and information, which help me adapt to the fast-changing world as well as piquing30 my interest. In addition, a career with open prospects31 would give me constant incentive7 to improve myself and gain more knowledge. I currently volunteer for an on-campus organization, Job Link, in which I am responsible for posting employment opportunities on the World Wide Web, answering questions, and preparing informative32 handouts. This position has broadened my computing abilities and has improved my interpersonal skills, which are crucial to any business endeavor. I enjoy the sense of productivity and usefulness I gain from the work, and feel it is a valuable experience for future employment.
In short, my goal is to obtain a Masters degree, and then work in an IT-related industry, either with a consulting firm or as a system analyst with a financial institution. In addition to this, I plan to use my private time to attend computer-programming courses in order to maintain a competitive knowledge of technology. When I have gathered enough experience and skills, I hope to launch a consulting company of my own. Attending a Masters of Science program will definitely smooth the path to these goals. The program will deepen my expertise and broaden my perspectives. Moreover, the MIS option will help me to hone my skills in IT areas that I have not yet encountered. As I have attended UBC for four years, I am familiar with and have confidence in the faculty professors whom I believe can help me become an IT professional.
2)
During my six years in primary school, my classmates referred to me as “the alien,” maintaining a definite distance from me. Their reasons were clear; I was born with severe dermatitis, which filled my limbs with ulcers and scars. My life was one of pain and isolation33. Doctors predicted I would never fully recover, but my parents refused to believe this. They encouraged me to hope for the future, teaching me that any obstacle could be overcome. I therefore took an active role in my health, trying many medications and herbs. I learned to approach my loneliness with bravery, viewing it as a challenge to rise above. The summer after I graduated from primary school, my disease improved dramatically. Although my body remained riddled34 with scars, the ulcers dwindled35 to a handful. The self-confidence this gave me was profound; I realized that my personal will had led to this improvement. I began to seek out friendships at school, and took part in activities like volleyball, Girl Guide, and Art Club. Through it all, my attitude toward challenges remained the same. In every examination or competition, I told myself that I could easily excel; nothing could be more difficult than the pain I had already overcome. By the time I moved to
I have also developed a firm foundation of leadership skills. While enrolled37 in an ESL program in
1
possessed
![]() |
|
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2
automate
![]() |
|
v.自动化;使自动化 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3
innovated
![]() |
|
v.改革,创新( innovate的过去式和过去分词 );引入(新事物、思想或方法), | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4
automated
![]() |
|
a.自动化的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5
monetary
![]() |
|
adj.货币的,钱的;通货的;金融的;财政的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6
prospect
![]() |
|
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7
incentive
![]() |
|
n.刺激;动力;鼓励;诱因;动机 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8
incentives
![]() |
|
激励某人做某事的事物( incentive的名词复数 ); 刺激; 诱因; 动机 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9
knowledgeable
![]() |
|
adj.知识渊博的;有见识的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10
handouts
![]() |
|
救济品( handout的名词复数 ); 施舍物; 印刷品; 讲义 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11
analyst
![]() |
|
n.分析家,化验员;心理分析学家 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12
consultant
![]() |
|
n.顾问;会诊医师,专科医生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13
expertise
![]() |
|
n.专门知识(或技能等),专长 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14
faculty
![]() |
|
n.才能;学院,系;(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15
ulcers
![]() |
|
n.溃疡( ulcer的名词复数 );腐烂物;道德败坏;腐败 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16
dermatologists
![]() |
|
n.皮肤病学家( dermatologist的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17
fully
![]() |
|
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18
unconditional
![]() |
|
adj.无条件的,无限制的,绝对的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19
positively
![]() |
|
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20
actively
![]() |
|
adv.积极地,勤奋地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21
strictly
![]() |
|
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22
minor
![]() |
|
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23
depressed
![]() |
|
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24
supervisor
![]() |
|
n.监督人,管理人,检查员,督学,主管,导师 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25
alleviate
![]() |
|
v.减轻,缓和,缓解(痛苦等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26
utilized
![]() |
|
v.利用,使用( utilize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27
computing
![]() |
|
n.计算 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28
technological
![]() |
|
adj.技术的;工艺的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29
bankruptcy
![]() |
|
n.破产;无偿付能力 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30
piquing
![]() |
|
v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的现在分词 );激起(好奇心) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31
prospects
![]() |
|
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32
informative
![]() |
|
adj.提供资料的,增进知识的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33
isolation
![]() |
|
n.隔离,孤立,分解,分离 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34
riddled
![]() |
|
adj.布满的;充斥的;泛滥的v.解谜,出谜题(riddle的过去分词形式) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35
dwindled
![]() |
|
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36
physically
![]() |
|
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37
enrolled
![]() |
|
adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 );登记,招收,使入伍(或入会、入学等),参加,成为成员;记入名册;卷起,包起 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38
setback
![]() |
|
n.退步,挫折,挫败 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39
spoke
![]() |
|
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40
brainstorming
![]() |
|
献计献策,合力攻关 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41
undoubtedly
![]() |
|
adv.确实地,无疑地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|