留学书信范例－11

100 Free Sample Essays

By: Successful Harvard Applicant¹   

Subject:   Successful at Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth, and Stanford

Hiking to Understanding

Surrounded by thousands of stars, complete silence, and spectacular mountains, I stood atop New Hampshire's Presidential Range awestruck by nature's beauty. Immediately, I realized that I must dedicate my life to understanding the causes of the universe's beauty. In addition, the hike taught me several valuable lessons that will allow me to increase my understanding through scientific research.

Although the first few miles of the hike up Mt. Madison did not offer fantastic views, the vistas² became spectacular once I climbed above tree line. Immediately, I sensed that understanding the natural world parallels climbing a mountain. To reach my goal of total comprehension of natural phenomena³, I realized that I must begin with knowledge that may be uninteresting by itself. However, this knowledge will form the foundation of an accurate view of the universe. Much like every step while hiking leads the hiker nearer the mountain peak, all knowledge leads the scientist nearer total understanding.

Above tree line, the barrenness and silence of the hike taught me that individuals must have their own direction. All hikers know that they must carry complete maps to reach their destinations; they do not allow others to hold their maps for them. Similarly, surrounded only by mountaintops, sky, and silence, I recognized the need to remain individually focused on my life's goal of understanding the physical universe.

At the summit, the view of the surrounding mountain range is spectacular. The panorama⁴ offers a view of hills and smaller mountains. Some people during their lives climb many small hills. However, to have the most accurate view of the world, I must be dedicated⁵ to climbing the biggest mountains I can find. Too often people simply hike across a flat valley without ascending⁶ because they content themselves with the scenery. The mountain showed me that I cannot content myself with the scenery.

When night fell upon the summit, I stared at the slowly appearing stars until they completely filled the night sky. Despite the windy conditions and below freezing temperatures, I could not tear myself away from the awe-inspiring beauty of the cosmos⁷. Similarly, despite the frustration⁸ and difficulties inherent in scientific study, I cannot retreat from my goal of universal understanding.

When observing Saturn's rising, the Milky⁹ Way Cloud, and the Perseid meteor shower, I simultaneously¹⁰ felt a great sense of insignificance¹¹ and purpose. Obviously, earthly concerns are insignificant¹² to the rest of the universe. However, I experienced the overriding¹³ need to understand the origins and causes of these phenomena. The hike also strengthened my resolve to climb the mountain of knowledge while still taking time to gaze at the wondrous¹⁴ scenery. Only then can the beauty of the universe and the study of science be purposefully united. Attaining¹⁵ this union is my lifelong goal.

By: Business School Applicant31   

Subject:   Succesful NYU Stern Applicant

1. Think about the decisions you have made in your life. Describe the following:

PAST: What choices have you made that led you to your current position?

PRESENT: Why is a Stern MBA necessary at this point in your life?

FUTURE: What is your desired position upon graduation from the Stern School?

I like options, I like security, and I like power. With these wants, I knew at a very early age that I would enter business and thus I attended a college that specializes in the subject. In my first position out of school, I was hired by Dunhill Equities¹⁶ as a cold-caller. After several weeks of being hung up on by angry prospects¹⁷, I decided¹⁸ that this career path would not lead me to success. I then moved within the firm to a position as sales assistant. While this was by no means my dream job, I learned a tremendous amount about business, and I gained useful exposure to the world of finance. Unfortunately, the company hit a period of instability, and after ten months I transferred with my boss to Coleman & Company. Thirteen months later, that company also began to fail, and I began to search for another path to advancement¹⁹. With two strikes against me, I hit a home run and was hired by Sanford Bernstein into a challenging job with limitless opportunity for growth.

After almost three years at Bernstein, I am once again seeking career advancement. My education and work experience have provided me with an excellent introduction to business, and they have sparked my interest in finance. Taking into consideration my foundation and my interests, graduate business school is the next logical step. At this point in my life, I consider a Stern MBA to be necessary since I need to gain a broader understanding of finance and to sharpen my analytical²⁰ skills in order to be successful in corporate²¹ finance. Stern’s MBA program will allow me to concentrate in finance, strengthen my global business perspective, and provide me with the opportunity to study with and learn from people with varied²² backgrounds. The school’s location in the financial capital of the world and in one of the most diverse cities in the world also suits me perfectly²³.

Aside from advancing my career, I would also like to develop personally. In college I did not join many clubs or organizations, and I did not participate in sports. Instead, I spent all my time studying, working, or dealing²⁴ with family issues. Having been away from home and living in New York City for four years, I feel the need to make a name for myself and to develop a meaningful social life. I want to take advantage of the many benefits that extracurricular activities offer, and I want to be involved in the Stern community.

Upon graduation from the Stern School, I will seek a position as an associate within the corporate finance department of a large, Wall Street, investment-banking²⁵ firm. In three to five years, once I have become adept²⁶ in financial analyses, drafting prospectuses²⁷, preparing business presentations and other financial advisory²⁸ work, I will move into a senior associate position. Here I will develop my abilities to anticipate client needs and to engineer solutions that address these needs. In approximately 10 years, I will have the experience necessary to take on upper-level management responsibilities.

3. Describe yourself to your MBA classmates. (You may use any method to convey your message: words, illustrations, etc.)

I grew up in a small fishing village in Maine, surrounded by family. Expectations and aspirations²⁹ are limited in such an environment. I could have made a living exploiting the sea, but chose to do similar work as a corporate executive. Although I have no siblings³⁰, my hometown contains over fifty family members, and our agenda of family activities is always packed. Most of my family is employed in the commercial fishing industry, which instilled³¹ in me at a very young age, the concept of work. At age eleven, I started babysitting and mowing³² lawns, and at the age of fifteen I applied³³ for my lobster³⁴ license³⁵. The first summer with my license, I took a job as a sternperson with a fellow female. We were the only two females out there, which was definitely an experience. When the lobstering season ended that year, I took a job at a grocery store bagging groceries. I saved enough money to build a boat and to buy fifty lobster traps; I was on my way. The following summer I continued to work as a sternperson, and I also fished my own traps. I continued lobstering throughout the rest of high school and college, and it helped me finance my college education.

In addition to being ambitious and motivated enough to put my heart into even mundane³⁶, low-level tasks, I am also extremely organized. This is one characteristic that has always received praise. I pay particular attention to detail, which I believe has contributed to my success thus far. I take pride in my work, and I look at it as a representation of myself. In my position at Sanford Bernstein as a Consultant³⁷ Liaison³⁸, I market my firm to the financial consulting community. Maintaining the integrity of the firm is vital and errors are disastrous³⁹. When training new group members, I stress this point most thoroughly⁴⁰.

I work in a group that currently has six members. The group serves as a central source of information for the firm, and its success relies on an extraordinary amount of cooperation from each of us. As a senior member, I am able to contribute to the group in several ways including: training group members, controlling the quality of the group’s output, managing and accurately⁴¹ completing multiple requests with short turnaround times, gathering⁴² and conveying information from senior investment professionals, collecting and calculating data, maintaining databases, overseeing projects aimed at making long-term improvements to the group’s processes, and strengthening my own foundation of knowledge to be used as a resource. Recently, as the result of a manager leaving the firm, I have also taken on some of the managerial responsibilities for the group including prioritizing and delegating assignments.

Though I am an excellent team player, in business school I would like to sharpen my managerial skills. I have found that I need to overcompensate for my “soft” appearance in order to get my point across. I hope to improve my negotiating skills and to gain more experience in getting group members to carry their own weight. At the same time, I do not want to become a tyrant⁴³. To be effective, it is important for a manager to maintain the proper balance of power and compassion⁴⁴. Only in this way, will I be able to lead a team of people to realizing the goals of a firm.

4.

(Optional) Please provide any additional information that you would like to bring to the attention of the Admission Committee. If you are unable to submit a recommendation from a current employer, please give your reason here.

To satisfy my desire for success, I must continue my education. Of the six business schools to which I am applying, the Stern School is my first choice. I am very excited about entering an MBA program that will allow me to focus on my interest in finance as well as provide me with the career possibilities and exposure to resources, such as networks and learning tools, which I do not currently have. At Stern, I know that my investment of time, energy, and money will be well rewarded. At this point in my life, I believe I have great potential to gain much from a business degree since I have been exposed to the business environment for the past eight and a half years. I now posses a strong foundation to build upon, and I am ready to assume the rigors⁴⁵ and challenges of the Stern School’s MBA program.

In addition to its academic program, the Stern community is itself very appealing. The three undergraduate schools that I applied to were Babson, Bentley and Bryant. Babson College became my first choice as soon as I visited its quaint⁴⁶ campus and fell in love with the friendly atmosphere and cultural diversity. From someone coming from a small fishing village in Maine, it was refreshing⁴⁷ to be surrounded by family. Living in New York City has broadened my exposure to include a fast-paced, career-minded atmosphere. The combination of these characteristics at the Stern School will provide me with an excellent learning environment, and I hope to attend Stern for many of the same reasons I selected Babson.

I have provided three recommendations. One is from my former employer, Andrew Tzanides, with whom I worked closely for two years. Another is from my current manager, Gail Landis, who joined my department in January of 1998. At that time, I also had a direct manager, Catherine Acosta. I had worked with Cathy on a daily basis since I joined Bernstein in May of 1996,and she is providing my third recommendation. Due to the lack of growth opportunities in my position at the beginning of 1998,I was seeking employment elsewhere. The discrepancy⁴⁸ between my goals and my education and work experience resulted in a very frustrating⁴⁹ job search. I wanted to redirect my career from RFP writing to investment banking, but given my background, it was difficult. At this point, I decided that going back to school to pursue my MBA would be the most important step I could take. In the meantime, Cathy left Bernstein and Gail assumed her management responsibilities until a replacement⁵⁰ could be hired. Gail has now been working with my group for approximately six months. Due to your request for a recommendation from my current supervisor⁵¹ and due to my circumstances, I felt it necessary to include recommendations from both Cathy and Gail.

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