The City of Political Distinction

JAMRACH the Rich, being anxious to reach the City of Political
Distinction before nightfall, arrived at a fork of the road and was
undecided which branch to follow; so he consulted a Wise-Looking
Person who sat by the wayside.

  "Take THAT road," said the Wise-Looking Person, pointing it out;
"it is known as the Political Highway."

  "Thank you," said Jamrach, and was about to proceed.

  "About how much do you thank me?" was the reply.  "Do you suppose I
am here for my health?"

  As Jamrach had not become rich by stupidity, he handed something to
his guide and hastened on, and soon came to a toll-gate kept by a
Benevolent¹ Gentleman, to whom he gave something, and was suffered
to pass.  A little farther along he came to a bridge across an
imaginary stream, where a Civil Engineer (who had built the bridge)
demanded something for interest on his investment, and it was
forthcoming.  It was growing late when Jamrach came to the margin²
of what appeared to be a lake of black ink, and there the road
terminated.  Seeing a Ferryman in his boat he paid something for
his passage and was about to embark³.

  "No," said the Ferryman.  "Put your neck in this noose⁴, and I will
tow you over.  It is the only way," he added, seeing that the
passenger was about to complain of the accommodations.

  In due time he was dragged across, half strangled, and dreadfully
beslubbered by the feculent waters.  "There," said the Ferryman,
hauling him ashore⁵ and disengaging him, "you are now in the City of
Political Distinction.  It has fifty millions of inhabitants, and
as the colour of the Filthy⁶ Pool does not wash off, they all look
exactly alike."

  "Alas⁷!" exclaimed Jamrach, weeping and bewailing the loss of all
his possessions, paid out in tips and tolls⁸; "I will go back with
you."

  "I don't think you will,", said the Ferryman, pushing off; "this
city is situated⁹ on the Island of the Unreturning."