The Farmer's Friend

  A GREAT Philanthropist who had thought of himself in connection
with the Presidency¹ and had introduced a bill into Congress
requiring the Government to loan every voter all the money that he
needed, on his personal security, was explaining to a Sunday-school
at a railway station how much he had done for the country, when an
angel looked down from Heaven and wept.

  "For example," said the Great Philanthropist, watching the
teardrops pattering in the dust, "these early rains are of
incalculable advantage to the farmer."