The Party Manager and the Gentleman

  A PARTY Manager said to a Gentleman whom he saw minding his own
business:

  "How much will you pay for a nomination¹ to office?"

  "Nothing," the Gentleman replied.

  "But you will contribute something to the campaign fund to assist
in your election, will you not?" asked the Party Manager, winking².

  "Oh, no," said the Gentleman, gravely.  "If the people wish me to
work for them, they must hire me without solicitation³.  I am very
comfortable without office."

  "But," urged the Party Manager, "an election is a thing to be
desired.  It is a high honour to be a servant of the people."

  "If servitude is a high honour," the Gentleman said, "it would be
indecent for me to seek it; and if obtained by my own exertion⁴ it
would be no honour."

  "Well," persisted the Party Manager, "you will at least, I hope,
indorse the party platform."

  The Gentleman replied: "It is improbable that its authors have
accurately⁵ expressed my views without consulting me; and if I
indorsed their work without approving it I should be a liar⁶."

  "You are a detestable hypocrite and an idiot!" shouted the Party
Manager.

  "Even your good opinion of my fitness," replied the Gentleman,
"shall not persuade me."