The Legislator and the Citizen

  AN ex-Legislator asked a Most Respectable Citizen for a letter to
the Governor recommending him for appointment as Commissioner¹ of
Shrimps² and Crabs³.

  "Sir," said the Most Respectable Citizen, austerely⁴, "were you not
once in the State Senate?"

  "Not so bad as that, sir, I assure you," was the reply.  "I was a
member of the Slower House.  I was expelled for selling my
influence for money."

  "And you dare to ask for mine!" shouted the Most Respectable
Citizen.  "You have the impudence⁵?  A man who will accept bribes⁶
will probably offer them.   Do you mean to - "

  "I should not think of making a corrupt⁷ proposal to you, sir; but
if I were Commissioner of Shrimps and Crabs, I might have some
influence with the water-front population, and be able to help you
make your fight for Coroner."

  "In that case I do not feel justified⁸ in denying you the letter."

  So he took his pen, and, some demon⁹ guiding his hand, he wrote,
greatly to his astonishment:

  "Who sells his influence should stop it,
An honest man will only swap¹⁰ it."