A Smiling Idol

  AN Idol¹ said to a Missionary², "My friend, why do you seek to bring
me into contempt?  If it had not been for me, what would you have
been?  Remember thy creator that thy days be long in the land."

  "I confess," replied the Missionary, fingering a number of ten-cent
pieces which a Sunday-school in his own country had forwarded to
him, "that I am a product of you, but I protest that you cannot
quote Scripture³ with accuracy and point.  Therefore will I continue
to go up against you with the Sword of the Spirit."

  Shortly afterwards the Idol's worshippers held a great religious
ceremony at the base of his pedestal, and as a part of the rites⁴
the Missionary was roasted whole.  As the tongue was removed for
the high priest's table, "Ah," said the Idol to himself, "that is
the Sword of the Spirit - the only Sword that is less dangerous
when unsheathed."

  And he smiled so pleasantly at his own wit that the provinces of
Ghargaroo, M'gwana, and Scowow were affected⁵ with a blight⁶.