The Return of the Representative

  HEARING that the Legislature had adjourned¹, the people of an
Assembly District held a mass-meeting to devise a suitable
punishment for their representative.  By one speaker it was
proposed that he be disembowelled, by another that he be made to
run the gauntlet.  Some favoured hanging, some thought that it
would do him good to appear in a suit of tar² and feathers.  An old
man, famous for his wisdom and his habit of drooling on his shirt-
front, suggested that they first catch their hare.  So the Chairman
appointed a committee to watch for the victim at midnight, and take
him as he should attempt to sneak³ into town across-lots from the
tamarack swamp.  At this point in the proceedings⁴ they were
interrupted by the sound of a brass⁵ band.  Their dishonoured⁶
representative was driving up from the railway station in a coach-
and-four, with music and a banner.  A few moments later he entered
the hall, went upon the platform, and said it was the proudest
moment of his life. (Cheers.)