The Ingenious Blackmailer

  AN Inventor went to a King and was granted an audience, when the
following conversation ensued:

  INVENTOR. - "May it please your Majesty¹, I have invented a rifle
that discharges lightning."

  KING. - "Ah, you wish to sell me the secret."

  INVENTOR. - "Yes; it will enable your army to overrun any nation
that is accessible."

  KING. - "In order to get any good of my outlay² for your invention,
I must make a war, and do so as soon as I can arm my troops -
before your secret is discovered by foreign nations.  How much do
you want?"

  INVENTOR. - "One million dollars."

  KING. - "And how much will it cost to make the change of arms?"

  INVENTOR. - "Fifty millions."

  KING. - "And the war will Cost - ?"

  INVENTOR. - "But consider the glory and the spoils!"

  KING. - "Exactly.  But if I am not seeking these advantages?  What
if I decline to purchase?"

  INVENTOR. - "There is no economy in that.  Though a patriot³, I am
poor; if my own country will not patronise me, I must seek a market
elsewhere."

  KING (to Prime Minister). - "Take this blackmailer⁴ and cut off his
head."