Redneck Hero

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Forty Niners fan saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Niners fan," the boy replies.

"Oakland Raiders fan rescues friend from horrific attack," says the reporter as he writes in his notebook.

"I'm not a Raiders fan either," the boy says.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Cowboys fan!" the boy says proudly.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard¹ kills family pet!"