I Went to School to Learn to Read

I went to school to learn to read,
but learned instead of trouts in tweed.
I thought they'd show us how to write.
They showed a fig1 could fly a kite.
Instead of having history class
we caught gorillas2 in a glass,
then didn't learn arithmetic,
but watched as Tuesday did a trick.
We also skipped geography
to learn why eggs can disagree.
And then, instead of taking art,
we learned to take the air apart.
Instead of having science there,
we played with pigs with purple hair.
We learned to catch a savage3 chair
and why balloons are really square.
We learned the moon can eat the sun
and why bananas like to run.
It's true, we may get nothing done,
but, boy, it sure is lots of fun.