Like most other young matrons, Meg began her married life with the determination to be a model housekeeper¹. John should find home a paradise, he should always see a smiling face, should fare sumptuously² every day, and never know the loss of a button. She brought so much love, energy, and cheerfulness to the work that she could not but succeed, in spite of some obstacles. Her paradise was not a tranquil³ one, for the little woman fussed, was over-anxious to please, and bustled⁴ about like a true Martha, cumbered with many cares. She was too tired, sometimes, even to smile, John grew dyspeptic after a course of dainty dishes and ungratefully demanded plain fare. As for buttons, she soon learned to wonder where they went, to shake her head over the carelessness of men, and to threaten to make him sew them on himself, and see if his work would stand impatient and clumsy fingers any better than hers.

 

They were very happy, even after they discovered that they couldn't live on love alone. John did not find Meg's beauty diminished, though she beamed at him from behind the familiar coffee pot. Nor did Meg miss any of the romance from the daily parting, when her husband followed up his kiss with the tender inquiry⁵, "Shall I send some veal⁶ or mutton for dinner, darling?" The little house ceased to be a glorified⁷ bower⁸, but it became a home, and the young couple soon felt that it was a change for the better. At first they played keep-house, and frolicked over it like children. Then John took steadily⁹ to business, feeling the cares of the head of a family upon his shoulders, and Meg laid by her cambric wrappers, put on a big apron¹⁰, and fell to work, as before said, with more energy than discretion¹¹.

 

While the cooking mania¹² lasted she went through Mrs. Cornelius's Receipt Book as if it were a mathematical exercise, working out the problems with patience and care. Sometimes her family were invited in to help eat up a too bounteous¹³ feast of successes, or Lotty would be privately¹⁴ dispatched with a batch¹⁵ of failures, which were to be concealed¹⁶ from all eyes in the convenient stomachs of the little Hummels. An evening with John over the account books usually produced a temporary lull¹⁷ in the culinary enthusiasm, and a frugal¹⁸ fit would ensue, during which the poor man was put through a course of bread pudding, hash, and warmed-over coffee, which tried his soul, although he bore it with praiseworthy fortitude¹⁹. Before the golden mean was found, however, Meg added to her domestic possessions what young couples seldom get on long without, a family jar.

 

Fired a with housewifely wish to see her storeroom stocked with homemade preserves, she undertook to put up her own currant jelly. John was requested to order home a dozen or so of little pots and an extra quantity of sugar, for their own currants were ripe and were to be attended to at once. As John firmly believed that 'my wife' was equal to anything, and took a natural pride in her skill, he resolved that she should be gratified, and their only crop of fruit laid by in a most pleasing form for winter use. Home came four dozen delightful²⁰ little pots, half a barrel of sugar, and a small boy to pick the currants for her. With her pretty hair tucked into a little cap, arms bared to the elbow, and a checked apron which had a coquettish look in spite of the bib, the young housewife fell to work, feeling no doubts about her success, for hadn't she seen Hannah do it hundreds of times? The array of pots rather amazed her at first, but John was so fond of jelly, and the nice little jars would look so well on the top shelf, that Meg resolved to fill them all, and spent a long day picking, boiling, straining, and fussing over her jelly. She did her best, she asked advice of Mrs. Cornelius, she racked her brain to remember what Hannah did that she left undone²¹, she reboiled, resugared, and restrained, but that dreadful stuff wouldn't 'jell'.

 

She longed to run home, bib and all, and ask Mother to lend her a hand, but John and she had agreed that they would never annoy anyone with their private worries, experiments, or quarrels. They had laughed over that last word as if the idea it suggested was a most preposterous²² one, but they had held to their resolve, and whenever they could get on without help they did so, and no one interfered²³, for Mrs. March had advised the plan. So Meg wrestled²⁴ alone with the refractory²⁵ sweetmeats all that hot summer day, and at five o'clock sat down in her topsy-turvey kitchen, wrung²⁶ her bedaubed hands, lifted up her voice and wept.

 

Now, in the first flush of the new life, she had often said, "My husband shall always feel free to bring a friend home whenever he likes. I shall always be prepared. There shall be no flurry, no scolding, no discomfort²⁷, but a neat house, a cheerful wife, and a good dinner. John, dear, never stop to ask my leave, invite whom you please, and be sure of a welcome from me."

 

How charming that was, to be sure! John quite glowed with pride to hear her say it, and felt what a blessed thing it was to have a superior wife. But, although they had had company from time to time, it never happened to be unexpected, and Meg had never had an opportunity to distinguish herself till now. It always happens so in this vale of tears, there is an inevitability²⁸ about such things which we can only wonder at, deplore²⁹, and bear as we best can.

 

If John had not forgotten all about the jelly, it really would have been unpardonable in him to choose that day, of all the days in the year, to bring a friend home to dinner unexpectedly. Congratulating himself that a handsome repast had been ordered that morning, feeling sure that it would be ready to the minute, and indulging in pleasant anticipations³⁰ of the charming effect it would produce, when his pretty wife came running out to meet him, he escorted his friend to his mansion³¹, with the irrepressible satisfaction of a young host and husband.

 

It is a world of disappointments, as John discovered when he reached the Dovecote. The front door usually stood hospitably³² open. Now it was not only shut, but locked, and yesterday's mud still adorned³³ the steps. The parlor³⁴ windows were closed and curtained, no picture of the pretty wife sewing on the piazza³⁵, in white, with a distracting little bow in her hair, or a bright-eyed hostess, smiling a shy welcome as she greeted her guest. Nothing of the sort, for not a soul appeared but a sanginary-looking boy asleep under the current bushes.

 

"I'm afraid something has happened. Step into the garden, Scott, while I look up Mrs. Brooke," said John, alarmed at the silence and solitude³⁶.

 

Round the house he hurried, led by a pungent³⁷ smell of burned sugar, and Mr. Scott strolled after him, with a queer look on his face. He paused discreetly³⁸ at a distance when Brooke disappeared, but he could both see and hear, and being a bachelor, enjoyed the prospect³⁹ mightily⁴⁰.

 

In the kitchen reigned⁴¹ confusion and despair. One edition of jelly was trickled⁴² from pot to pot, another lay upon the floor, and a third was burning gaily⁴³ on the stove. Lotty, with Teutonic phlegm, was calmly eating bread and currant wine, for the jelly was still in a hopelessly liquid state, while Mrs. Brooke, with her apron over her head, sat sobbing⁴⁴ dismally⁴⁵.

 

"My dearest girl, what is the matter?" cried John, rushing in, with awful visions of scalded hands, sudden news of affliction, and secret consternation⁴⁶ at the thought of the guest in the garden.

 

"Oh, John, I am so tired and hot and cross and worried! I've been at it till I'm all worn out. Do come and help me or I shall die!" and the exhausted⁴⁷ housewife cast herself upon his breast, giving him a sweet welcome in every sense of the word, for her pinafore had been baptized at the same time as the floor.

 

"What worries you dear? Has anything dreadful happened?" asked the anxious John, tenderly kissing the crown of the little cap, which was all askew⁴⁸.

 

"Yes," sobbed⁴⁹ Meg despairingly.

 

"Tell me quick, then. Don't cry. I can bear anything better than that. Out with it, love."

 

"The . . . The jelly won't jell and I don't know what to do!"

 

John Brooke laughed then as he never dared to laugh afterward⁵⁰, and the derisive⁵¹ Scott smiled involuntarily as he heard the hearty⁵² peal⁵³, which put the finishing stroke to poor Meg's woe⁵⁴.

 

"Is that all? Fling it out of the window, and don't bother any more about it. I'll buy you quarts if you want it, but for heaven's sake don't have hysterics, for I've brought Jack⁵⁵ Scott home to dinner, and . . ."

 

John got no further, for Meg cast him off, and clasped her hands with a tragic⁵⁶ gesture as she fell into a chair, exclaiming in a tone of mingled⁵⁷ indignation, reproach, and dismay . . .

 

"A man to dinner, and everything in a mess! John Brooke, how could you do such a thing?"

 

"Hush⁵⁸, he's in the garden! I forgot the confounded jelly, but it can't be helped now," said John, surveying the prospect with an anxious eye.

 

"You ought to have sent word, or told me this morning, and you ought to have remembered how busy I was," continued Meg petulantly⁵⁹, for even turtledoves will peck when ruffled⁶⁰.

 

"I didn't know it this morning, and there was no time to send word, for I met him on the way out. I never thought of asking leave, when you have always told me to do as I liked. I never tried it before, and hang me if I ever do again!" added John, with an aggrieved⁶¹ air.

 

"I should hope not! Take him away at once. I can't see him, and there isn't any dinner."

 

"Well, I like that! Where's the beef and vegetables I sent home, and the pudding you promised?" cried John, rushing to the larder⁶².

 

"I hadn't time to cook anything. I meant to dine at Mother's. I'm sorry, but I was so busy," and Meg's tears began again.

 

John was a mild man, but he was human, and after a long day's work to come home tired, hungry, and hopeful, to find a chaotic⁶³ house, an empty table, and a cross wife was not exactly conductive to repose⁶⁴ of mind or manner. He restrained himself however, and the little squall would have blown over, but for one unlucky word.

 

"It's a scrape, I acknowledge, but if you will lend a hand, we'll pull through and have a good time yet. Don't cry, dear, but just exert yourself a bit, and fix us up something to eat. We're both as hungry as hunters, so we shan't mind what it is. Give us the cold meat, and bread and cheese. We won't ask for jelly."

 

He meant it to be a good-natured joke, but that one word sealed his fate. Meg thought it was too cruel to hint about her sad failure, and the last atom of patience vanished as he spoke⁶⁵.

 

"You must get yourself out of the scrape as you can. I'm too used up to 'exert' myself for anyone. It's like a man to propose a bone and vulgar bread and cheese for company. I won't have anything of the sort in my house. Take that Scott up to Mother's, and tell him I'm away, sick, dead, anything. I won't see him, and you two can laugh at me and my jelly as much as you like. You won't have anything else here." and having delivered her defiance⁶⁷ all on one breath, Meg cast away her pinafore and precipitately⁶⁸ left the field to bemoan⁶⁹ herself in her own room.

 

What those two creatures did in her absence, she never knew, but Mr. Scott was not taken 'up to Mother's', and when Meg descended⁷⁰, after they had strolled away together, she found traces of a promiscuous⁷¹ lunch which filled her with horror. Lotty reported that they had eaten "a much, and greatly laughed, and the master bid her throw away all the sweet stuff, and hide the pots."

 

Meg longed to go and tell Mother, but a sense of shame at her own short-comings, of loyalty⁷² to John, "who might be cruel, but nobody should know it," restrained her, and after a summary cleaning up, she dressed herself prettily⁷³, and sat down to wait for John to come and be forgiven.

 

Unfortunately, John didn't come, not seeing the matter in that light. He had carried it off as a good joke with Scott, excused his little wife as well as he could, and played the host so hospitably that his friend enjoyed the impromptu⁷⁴ dinner, and promised to come again, but John was angry, though he did not show it, he felt that Meg had deserted⁷⁵ him in his hour of need. "It wasn't fair to tell a man to bring folks home any time, with perfect freedom, and when he took you at your word, to flame up and blame him, and leave him in the lurch⁷⁶, to be laughed at or pitied. No, by George, it wasn't! And Meg must know it."

 

He had fumed⁷⁷ inwardly during the feast, but when the flurry was over and he strolled home after seeing Scott off, a milder mood came over him. "Poor little thing! It was hard upon her when she tried so heartily⁷⁸ to please me. She was wrong, of course, but then she was young. I must be patient and teach her." He hoped she had not gone home - he hated gossip and interference. For a minute he was ruffled again at the mere⁷⁹ thought of it, and then the fear that Meg would cry herself sick softened⁸⁰ his heart, and sent him on at a quicker pace, resolving to be calm and kind, but firm, quite firm, and show her where she had failed in her duty to her spouse⁸¹.

 

Meg likewise resolved to be 'calm and kind, but firm', and show him his duty. She longed to run to meet him, and beg pardon, and be kissed and comforted, as she was sure of being, but, of course, she did nothing of the sort, and when she saw John coming, began to hum quite naturally, as she rocked and sewed, like a lady of leisure in her best parlor.

 

John was a little disappointed not to find a tender Niobe, but feeling that his dignity demanded the first apology, he made none, only came leisurely⁸² in and laid himself upon the sofa with the singularly relevant remark, "We are going to have a new moon, my dear."

 

"I've no objection," was Meg's equally soothing⁸³ remark. A few other topics of general interest were introduced by Mr. Brooke and wet-blanketed by Mrs. Brooke, and conversation languished⁸⁴. John went to one window, unfolded his paper, and wrapped himself in it, figuratively speaking. Meg went to the other window, and sewed as if new rosettes for slippers⁸⁵ were among the necessaries of life. Neither spoke. Both looked quite 'calm and firm', and both felt desperately⁸⁶ uncomfortable.

 

"Oh, dear," thought Meg, "married life is very trying, and does need infinite patience as well as love, as Mother says." The word 'Mother' suggested other maternal⁸⁷ counsels given long ago, and received with unbelieving protests.

 

"John is a good man, but he has his faults, and you must learn to see and bear with them, remembering your own. He is very decided⁸⁸, but never will be obstinate⁸⁹, if you reason kindly⁹⁰, not oppose impatiently. He is very accurate, and particular about the truth - a good trait, though you call him 'fussy⁹¹'. Never deceive him by look or word, Meg, and he will give you the confidence you deserve, the support you need. He has a temper, not like ours - one flash and then all over - but the white, still anger that is seldom stirred, but once kindled⁹² is hard to quench⁹³. Be careful, be very careful, not to wake his anger against yourself, for peace and happiness depend on keeping his respect. Watch yourself, be the first to ask pardon if you both err⁹⁴, and guard against the little piques⁹⁵, misunderstandings, and hasty words that often pave the way for bitter sorrow and regret."

 

These words came back to Meg, as she sat sewing in the sunset, especially the last. This was the first serious disagreement, her own hasty speeches sounded both silly and unkind, as she recalled them, her own anger looked childish now, and thoughts of poor John coming home to such a scene quite melted her heart. She glanced at him with tears in her eyes, but he did not see them. She put down her work and got up, thinking, "I will be the first to say, 'Forgive me'", but he did not seem to hear her. She went very slowly across the room, for pride was hard to swallow, and stood by him, but he did not turn his head. For a minute she felt as if she really couldn't do it, then came the thought, "This is the beginning. I'll do my part, and have nothing to reproach myself with," and stooping down, she softly kissed her husband on the forehead. Of course that settled it. The penitent⁹⁷ kiss was better than a world of words, and John had her on his knee in a minute, saying tenderly . . .

 

"It was too bad to laugh at the poor little jelly pots. Forgive me, dear. I never will again!"

 

But he did, oh bless you, yes, hundreds of times, and so did Meg, both declaring that it was the sweetest jelly they ever made, for family peace was preserved in that little family jar.

 

After this, Meg had Mr. Scott to dinner by special invitation, and served him up a pleasant feast without a cooked wife for the first course, on which occasion she was so gay and gracious, and made everything go off so charmingly, that Mr. Scott told John he was a lucky fellow, and shook his head over the hardships of bachelorhood all the way home.

 

In the autumn, new trials and experiences came to Meg. Sallie Moffat renewed her friendship, was always running out for a dish of gossip at the little house, or inviting⁹⁸ 'that poor dear' to come in and spend the day at the big house. It was pleasant, for in dull weather Meg often felt lonely. All were busy at home, John absent till night, and nothing to do but sew, or read, or potter about. So it naturally fell out that Meg got into the way of gadding⁹⁹ and gossiping with her friend. Seeing Sallie's pretty things made her long for such, and pity herself because she had not got them. Sallie was very kind, and often offered her the coveted¹⁰⁰ trifles, but Meg declined them, knowing that John wouldn't like it, and then this foolish little woman went and did what John disliked even worse.

 

She knew her husband's income, and she loved to feel that he trusted her, not only with his happiness, but what some men seem to value more - his money. She knew where it was, was free to take what she liked, and all he asked was that she should keep account of every penny, pay bills once a month, and remember that she was a poor man's wife. Till now she had done well, been prudent¹⁰¹ and exact, kept her little account books neatly¹⁰², and showed them to him monthly without fear. But that autumn the serpent got into Meg's paradise, and tempted¹⁰³ her like many a modern Eve, not with apples, but with dress. Meg didn't like to be pitied and made to feel poor. It irritated her, but she was ashamed to confess it, and now and then she tried to console herself by buying something pretty, so that Sallie needn't think she had to economize¹⁰⁴. She always felt wicked after it, for the pretty things were seldom necessaries, but then they cost so little, it wasn't worth worrying about, so the trifles increased unconsciously, and in the shopping excursions she was no longer a passive looker-on.

 

But the trifles cost more than one would imagine, and when she cast up her accounts at the end of the month the sum total rather scared her. John was busy that month and left the bills to her, the next month he was absent, but the third he had a grand quarterly settling up, and Meg never forgot it. A few days before she had done a dreadful thing, and it weighed upon her conscience. Sallie had been buying silks, and Meg longed for a new one, just a handsome light one for parties, her black silk was so common, and thin things for evening wear were only proper for girls. Aunt March usually gave the sisters a present of twenty-five dollars apiece at New Year's. That was only a month to wait, and here was a lovely violet silk going at a bargain, and she had the money, if she only dared to take it. John always said what was his was hers, but would he think it right to spend not only the prospective¹⁰⁵ five-and-twenty, but another five-and-twenty out of the household fund? That was the question. Sallie had urged her to do it, had offered to lend the money, and with the best intentions in life had tempted Meg beyond her strength. In an evil moment the shopman held up the lovely, shimmering¹⁰⁶ folds, and said, "A bargain, I assure, you, ma'am." She answered, "I'll take it," and it was cut off and paid for, and Sallie had exulted¹⁰⁷, and she had laughed as if it were a thing of no consequence, and driven away, feeling as if she had stolen something, and the police were after her.

 

When she got home, she tried to assuage¹⁰⁸ the pangs¹⁰⁹ of remorse¹¹⁰ by spreading forth¹¹¹ the lovely silk, but it looked less silvery now, didn't become her, after all, and the words 'fifty dollars' seemed stamped like a pattern down each breadth. She put it away, but it haunted her, not delightfully¹¹² as a new dress should, but dreadfully like the ghost of a folly¹¹³ that was not easily laid. When John got out his books that night, Meg's heart sank, and for the first time in her married life, she was afraid of her husband. The kind, brown eyes looked as if they could be stern, and though he was unusually merry, she fancied he had found her out, but didn't mean to let her know it. The house bills were all paid, the books all in order. John had praised her, and was undoing¹¹⁴ the old pocketbook which they called the 'bank', when Meg, knowing that it was quite empty, stopped his hand, saying nervously¹¹⁵ . . .

 

"You haven't seen my private expense book yet."

 

John never asked to see it, but she always insisted on his doing so, and used to enjoy his masculine amazement¹¹⁶ at the queer things women wanted, and made him guess what piping was, demand fiercely the meaning of a hug-me-tight, or wonder how a little thing composed of three rosebuds¹¹⁷, a bit of velvet¹¹⁸, and a pair of strings¹¹⁹, could possibly be a bonnet¹²⁰, and cost six dollars. That night he looked as if he would like the fun of quizzing her figures and pretending to be horrified¹²¹ at her extravagance, as he often did, being particularly proud of his prudent wife.

 

The little book was brought slowly out and laid down before him. Meg got behind his chair under pretense¹²² of smoothing the wrinkles out of his tired forehead, and standing⁹⁶ there, she said, with her panic increasing with every word . . .

 

"John, dear, I'm ashamed to show you my book, for I've really been dreadfully extravagant¹²³ lately. I go about so much I must have things, you know, and Sallie advised my getting it, so I did, and my New Year's money will partly pay for it, but I was sorry after I had done it, for I knew you'd think it wrong in me."

 

John laughed, and drew her round beside him, saying goodhumoredly, "Don't go and hide. I won't beat you if you have got a pair of killing¹²⁴ boots. I'm rather proud of my wife's feet, and don't mind if she does pay eight or nine dollars for her boots, if they are good ones."

 

That had been one of her last 'trifles', and John's eye had fallen on it as he spoke. "Oh, what will he say when he comes to that awful fifty dollars!" thought Meg, with a shiver.

 

"It's worse than boots, it's a silk dress," she said, with the calmness of desperation, for she wanted the worst over.

 

"Well, dear, what is the 'dem'd total', as Mr. Mantalini says?"

 

That didn't sound like John, and she knew he was looking up at her with the straightforward¹²⁵ look that she had always been ready to meet and answer with one as frank till now. She turned the page and her head at the same time, pointing to the sum which would have been bad enough without the fifty, but which was appalling¹²⁶ to her with that added. For a minute the room was very still, then John said slowly - but she could feel it cost him an effort to express no displeasure - . . .

 

"Well, I don't know that fifty is much for a dress, with all the furbelows and notions you have to have to finish it off these days."

 

"It isn't made or trimmed," sighed Meg, faintly, for a sudden recollection of the cost still to be incurred¹²⁷ quite overwhelmed her.

 

"Twenty-five yards of silk seems a good deal to cover one small woman, but I've no doubt my wife will look as fine as Ned Moffat's when she gets it on," said John dryly.

 

"I know you are angry, John, but I can't help it. I don't mean to waste your money, and I didn't think those little things would count up so. I can't resist them when I see Sallie buying all she wants, and pitying me because I don't. I try to be contented¹²⁸, but it is hard, and I'm tired of being poor."

 

The last words were spoken so low she thought he did not hear them, but he did, and they wounded him deeply, for he had denied himself many pleasures for Meg's sake. She could have bitten her tongue out the minute she had said it, for John pushed the books away and got up, saying with a little quiver in his voice, "I was afraid of this. I do my best, Meg." If he had scolded her, or even shaken her, it would not have broken her heart like those few words. She ran to him and held him close, crying, with repentant¹²⁹ tears, "Oh, John, my dear, kind, hard-working boy. I didn't mean it! It was so wicked, so untrue and ungrateful, how could I say it! Oh, how could I say it!"

 

He was very kind, forgave her readily, and did not utter one reproach, but Meg knew that she had done and said a thing which would not be forgotten soon, although he might never allude¹³⁰ to it again. She had promised to love him for better or worse, and then she, his wife, had reproached him with his poverty, after spending his earnings¹³¹ recklessly. It was dreadful, and the worst of it was John went on so quietly afterward, just as if nothing had happened, except that he stayed in town later, and worked at night when she had gone to cry herself to sleep. A week of remorse nearly made Meg sick, and the discovery that John had countermanded¹³² the order for his new greatcoat reduced her to a state of despair which was pathetic to behold¹³³. He had simply said, in answer to her surprised inquiries¹³⁴ as to the change, "I can't afford it, my dear."

 

Meg said no more, but a few minutes after he found her in the hall with her face buried in the old greatcoat, crying as if her heart would break.

 

They had a long talk that night, and Meg learned to love her husband better for his poverty, because it seemed to have made a man of him, given him the strength and courage to fight his own way, and taught him a tender patience with which to bear and comfort the natural longings¹³⁵ and failures of those he loved.

 

Next day she put her pride in her pocket, went to Sallie, told the truth, and asked her to buy the silk as a favor. The good- natured Mrs. Moffat willingly did so, and had the delicacy¹³⁶ not to make her a present of it immediately afterward. Then Meg ordered home the greatcoat, and when John arrived, she put it on, and asked him how he liked her new silk gown. One can imagine what answer he made, how he received his present, and what a blissful state of things ensued. John came home early, Meg gadded¹³⁷ no more, and that greatcoat was put on in the morning by a very happy husband, and taken off at night by a most devoted¹³⁸ little wife. So the year rolled round, and at midsummer there came to Meg a new experience, the deepest and tenderest of a woman's life.

 

Laurie came sneaking¹³⁹ into the kitchen of the Dovecote one Saturday, with an excited face, and was received with the clash of cymbals¹⁴⁰, for Hannah clapped her hands with a saucepan in one and the cover in the other.

 

"How's the little mamma? Where is everybody? Why didn't you tell me before I came home?" began Laurie in a loud whisper.

 

"Happy as a queen, the dear! Every soul of 'em is upstairs a worshipin'. We didn't want no hurrycanes round. Now you go into the parlor, and I'll send 'em down to you," with which somewhat involved reply Hannah vanished, chuckling¹⁴¹ ecstatically.

 

Presently Jo appeared, proudly bearing a flannel¹⁴² bundle laid forth upon a large pillow. Jo's face was very sober, but her eyes twinkled, and there was an odd sound in her voice of repressed emotion of some sort.

 

"Shut your eyes and hold out your arms," she said invitingly¹⁴³.

 

Laurie backed precipitately into a corner, and put his hands behind him with an imploring¹⁴⁴ gesture. "No, thank you. I'd rather not. I shall drop it or smash it, as sure as fate."

 

"Then you shan't see your nevvy," said Jo decidedly, turning as if to go.

 

"I will, I will! Only you must be responsible for damages." and obeying orders, Laurie heroically shut his eyes while something was put into his arms. A peal of laughter from Jo, Amy, Mrs. March, Hannah, and John caused him to open them the next minute, to find himself invested with two babies instead of one.

 

No wonder they laughed, for the expression of his face was droll¹⁴⁵ enough to convulse a Quaker, as he stood and stared wildly from the unconscious innocents to the hilarious¹⁴⁶ spectators with such dismay that Jo sat down on the floor and screamed.

 

"Twins, by Jupiter!" was all he said for a minute, then turning to the women with an appealing look that was comically piteous, he added, "Take 'em quick, somebody! I'm going to laugh, and I shall drop 'em."

 

Jo rescued his babies, and marched up and down, with one on each arm, as if already initiated¹⁴⁷ into the mysteries of babytending, while Laurie laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks.

 

"It's the best joke of the season, isn't it? I wouldn't have told you, for I set my heart on surprising you, and I flatter myself I've done it," said Jo, when she got her breath.

 

"I never was more staggered in my life. Isn't it fun? Are they boys? What are you going to name them? Let's have another look. Hold me up, Jo, for upon my life it's one too many for me," returned Laurie, regarding the infants with the air of a big, benevolent¹⁴⁸ Newfoundland looking at a pair of infantile kittens.

 

"Boy and girl. Aren't they beauties?" said the proud papa, beaming upon the little red squirmers as if they were unfledged angels.

 

"Most remarkable¹⁴⁹ children I ever saw. Which is which?" and Laurie bent¹⁵⁰ like a well-sweep to examine the prodigies¹⁵¹.

 

"Amy put a blue ribbon on the boy and a pink on the girl, French fashion, so you can always tell. Besides, one has blue eyes and one brown. Kiss them, Uncle Teddy," said wicked Jo.

 

"I'm afraid they mightn't like it," began Laurie, with unusual timidity in such matters.

 

"Of course they will, they are used to it now. Do it this minute, sir!" commanded Jo, fearing he might propose a proxy¹⁵².

 

Laurie screwed up his face and obeyed with a gingerly peck at each little cheek that produced another laugh, and made the babies squeal¹⁵³.

 

"There, I knew they didn't like it! That's the boy, see him kick, he hits out with his fists like a good one. Now then, young Brooke, pitch into a man of your own size, will you?" cried Laurie, delighted with a poke⁶⁶ in the face from a tiny fist, flapping aimlessly about.

 

"He's to be named John Laurence, and the girl Margaret, after mother and grandmother. We shall call her Daisey, so as not to have two Megs, and I suppose the mannie will be Jack, unless we find a better name," said Amy, with aunt-like interest.

 

"Name him Demijohn, and call him Demi for short," said Laurie

 

"Daisy and Demi, just the thing! I knew Teddy would do it," cried Jo clapping her hands.

 

Teddy certainly had done it that time, for the babies were 'Daisy' and 'Demi' to the end of the chapter.

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