For two months the fugitives1 remained absent; in those two months, Mrs Linton encountered and conquered the worst shock of what was denominated a brain fever. No mother could have nursed an only child more devotedly3 than Edgar tended her. Day and night he was watching, and patiently enduring all the annoyances4 that irritable5 nerves and a shaken reason could inflict6; and, though Kenneth remarked that what he saved from the grave would only recompense his care by forming the source of constant future anxiety--in fact, that his health and strength were being sacrificed to preserve a mere7 ruin of humanity--he knew no limits in gratitude8 and joy when Catherine's life was declared out of danger; and hour after hour he would sit beside her, tracing the gradual return to bodily health, and flattering his too sanguine9 hopes with the illusion that her mind would settle back to its right balance also, and she would soon be entirely10 her former self.
The first time she left her chamber11 was at the commencement of the following March. Mr Linton had put on her pillow, in the morning, a handful of golden crocuses; her eye, long stranger to any gleam of pleasure, caught them in waking, and shone delighted as she gathered them eagerly together.
`These are the earliest flowers at the Heights,' she exclaimed. `They remind me of soft thaw12 winds, and warm sunshine, and nearly melted snow. Edgar, is there not a south wind, and is not the snow almost gone?'
`The snow is quite gone down here, darling,' replied her husband; `and I only see two white spots on the whole range of moors13: the sky is blue, and the larks14 are singing, and the becks and brooks15 are all brim full. Catherine, last spring at this time, I was longing16 to have you under this roof, now, I wish you were a mile or two up those hills: the air blows so sweetly, I feel that it would cure you.
`I shall never be there but once more,' said the invalid17; `and then you'll leave me, and I shall remain for ever. Next spring you'll long again to have me under this roof, and you'll look back and think you were happy today.
Linton lavished18 on her the kindest caresses19, and tried to cheer her by the fondest words; but, vaguely20 regarding the flowers, she let the tears collect on her lashes21 and stream down her cheeks unheeding. We knew she was really better, and, therefore, decided22 that long confinement23 to a single place produced much of this despondency, and it might be partially24 removed by a change of scene. The master told me to light a fire in the many-weeks-deserted parlour, and to set an easy chair in the sunshine by the window; and then he brought her down, and she sat a long while enjoying the genial25 heat, and, as we expected, revived by the objects round her: which, though familiar, were free from the dreary26 associations investing her hated sick chamber. By evening, she seemed greatly exhausted27; yet no arguments could persuade her to return to that apartment, and I had to arrange the parlour sofa for her bed, till another room could be prepared. To obviate28 the fatigue29 of mounting and descending30 the stairs, we fitted up this, where you lie at present: on the same floor with the parlour; and she was soon strong enough to move from one to the other, leaning on Edgar's arm. Ah, I thought myself she might recover, so waited on as she was. And there was double cause to desire it, for on her existence depended that of another: we cherished the hope that in a little while, Mr Linton's heart would be gladdened, and his lands secured from a stranger's gripe, by the birth of an heir.
I should mention that Isabella sent to her brother, some six weeks from her departure, a short note, announcing her marriage with Heathcliff. It appeared dry and cold; but at the bottom was dotted in with pencil an obscure apology, and an entreaty31 for kind remembrance and reconciliation32, if her proceeding33 had offended him: asserting that she could not help it then, and being done, she had now no power to repeal34 it. Linton did not reply to this, I believe; and, in a fortnight more, I got a long letter which I considered odd, coming from the pen of a bride just out of the honeymoon35. I'll read it: for I keep it yet. Any relic36 of the dead is precious, if they were valued living.
DEAR ELLEN, it begins:--
I came last night to Wuthering Heights, and heard, for the first time, that Catherine has been, and is yet, very ill. I must not write to her, I suppose, and my brother is either too angry or too distressed37 to answer what I sent him. Still, I must write to somebody, and the only choice left me is you.
Inform Edgar that I'd give the world to see his face again--that my heart returned to Thrushcross Grange in twenty-four hours after I left it, and is there at this moment, full of warm feelings for him, and Catherine! I can't follow it, though--(those words are underlined) they need not expect me, and they may draw what conclusions they please; taking care, however, to lay nothing at the door of my weak will or deficient38 affection.
The remainder of the letter is for yourself alone. I want to ask you two questions: the first is--How did you contrive39 to preserve the common sympathies of human nature when you resided here? I cannot recognize any sentiment which those around share with me.
The second question, I have great interest in; it is this--Is Mr Heathcliff a man? If so, is he mad? And if not, is he a devil? I shan't tell my reasons for making this inquiry40; but, I beseech41 you to explain, if you can, what I have married: that is, when you call to see me; and you must call, Ellen, very soon. Don't write, but come, and bring me something from Edgar.
Now, you shall hear how I have been received in my new home, as I am led to imagine the Heights will be. It is to amuse myself that I dwell on such subjects as the lack of external comforts: they never occupy my thoughts, except at the moment when I miss them. I should laugh and dance for joy, if I found their absence was the total of my miseries42, and the rest was an unnatural43 dream!
The sun set behind the Grange, as we turned on to the moors; by that, I judged it to be six o'clock; and my companion halted half an hour, to inspect the park, and the gardens, and, probably, the place itself, as well as he could; so it was dark when we dismounted in the paved yard of the farmhouse44, and your old fellow-servant, Joseph, issued out to receive us by the light of a dip candle. He did it with a courtesy that redounded45 to his credit. His first act was to elevate his torch to a level with my face, squint46 malignantly47, project his under lip, and turn away. Then he took the two horses, and led them into the stables; reappearing for the purpose of locking the outer gate, as if we lived in an ancient castle.
Heathcliff stayed to speak to him, and I entered the kitchen--a dingy48, untidy hole; I dare say you would not know it, it is so changed since it was in your charge. By the fire stood a ruffianly child, strong in limb and dirty in garb49, with a look of Catherine in his eyes and about his mouth.
`This is Edgar's legal nephew,' I reflected--`mine in a manner; I must shake hands, and--yes--I must kiss him. It is right to establish a good understanding at the beginning.'
I approached, and, attempting to take his chubby50 fist, said: `How do you do, my dear?' He replied in a jargon51 I did not comprehend. `Shall you and I be friends, Hareton?' was my next essay at conversation.
An oath, and a threat to set Throttler52 on me if I did not `frame off', rewarded my perseverance53.
`Hey, Throttler, lad!' whispered the little wretch54, rousing a half-bred bulldog from its lair55 in a corner. Now, wilt56 tuh be ganging?' he asked authoritatively57.
Love for my life urged a compliance58; I stepped over the threshold to wait till the others should enter. Mr Heathcliff was nowhere visible; and Joseph, whom I followed to the stables, and requested to accompany me in, after staring and muttering to himself, screwed up his nose, and replied:
`Mim! mim! mim! Did iver Christian59 body hear aught like it? Minching Un' munching60! How can Aw tell whet61 ye say?'
`I say, I wish you to come with me into the house!' I cried, thinking him deaf, yet highly disgusted at his rudeness.
`Nor nuh me! I getten summat else to do,' he answered, and continued his work; moving his lantern jaws62 meanwhile, and surveying my dress and countenance63 (the former a great deal too fine, but the latter, I'm sure, as sad as he could desire) with sovereign contempt.
I walked round the yard, and through a wicket, to another door, at which I took the liberty of knocking, in hopes some more civil servant might show himself. After a short suspense64, it was opened by a tall, gaunt man, without neckerchief, and otherwise extremely slovenly65; his features were lost in masses of shaggy hair that hung on his shoulders; and his eyes, too, were like a ghostly Catherine's with all their beauty annihilated66.
`What's your business here?' he demanded grimly. `Who are you?'
`My name was Isabella Linton,' I replied. `You've seen me before, sir. I'm lately married to Mr Heathcliff, and he has brought me here--I suppose by your permission.'
`Is he come back, then?' asked the hermit67, glaring like a hungry wolf.
`Yes--we came just now,' I said; `but he left me by the kitchen door; and when I would have gone in, your little boy played sentinel over the place, and frightened me off by the help of a bulldog.'
`It's well the hellish villain68 has kept his word!' growled69 my future host, searching the darkness beyond me in expectation of discovering Heathcliff; and then he indulged in a soliloquy of execrations, and threats of what he would have done had the `fiend' deceived him.
I repented70 having tried this second entrance, and was almost inclined to slip away before he finished cursing, but ere I could execute that intention, he ordered me in, and shut and refastened the door. There was a great fire, and that was all the light in the huge apartment, whose floor had grown a uniform grey; and the once brilliant pewter dishes, which used to attract my gaze when I was a girl, partook of a similar obscurity, created by tarnish71 and dust. I inquired whether I might call the maid, and be conducted to a bedroom? Mr Earnshaw vouchsafed72 no answer. He walked up and down, with his hands in his pockets, apparently73 quite forgetting my presence; and his abstraction was evidently so deep, and his whole aspect so misanthropical74, that I shrank from disturbing him again.
You'll not be surprised, Ellen, at my feeling particularly cheerless, seated in worse than solitude75 on that inhospitable hearth76, and remembering that four miles distant lay my delightful77 home, containing the only people I loved on earth; and there might as well be the Atlantic to part us, instead of those four miles: I could not overpass78 them! I questioned with myself--where must I turn for comfort? and--mind you don't tell Edgar, or Catherine--above every sorrow beside, this rose pre-eminent: despair at finding nobody who could or would be my ally against Heathcliff! I had sought shelter at Wuthering Heights, almost gladly, because I was secured by that arrangement from living alone with him; but he knew the people we were coming amongst, and he did not fear their intermeddling.
I sat and thought a doleful time: the clock struck eight, and nine, and still my companion paced to and fro, his head bent79 on his breast, and perfectly80 silent, unless a groan81 or a bitter ejaculation forced itself out at intervals82. I listened to detect a woman's voice in the house, and filled the interim83 with wild regrets and dismal84 anticipations85, which, at last, spoke86 audibly in irrepressible sighing and weeping. I was not aware how openly I grieved, till Earnshaw halted opposite, in his measured walk, and gave me a stare of newly-awakened surprise. Taking advantage of his recovered attention, I exclaimed:
`I'm tired with my journey, and I want to go to bed! Where is the maidservant? Direct me to her, as she won't come to me!'
`We have none,' he answered; `you must wait on yourself!'
`Where must I sleep, then?' I sobbed87: I was beyond regarding self-respect, weighed down by fatigue and wretchedness.
`Joseph will show you Heathcliff's chamber,' said he; `open that door--he's in there.'
I was going to obey, but he suddenly arrested me, and added in the strangest tone:
`Be so good as to turn your lock, and draw your bolt--don't omit it!'
`Well!' I said. `But why, Mr Earnshaw?' I did not relish88 the notion of deliberately89 fastening myself in with Heathcliff.
`Look here!' he replied, pulling from his waistcoat a curiously90 constructed pistol, having a double-edged spring knife attached to the barrel. `That's a great tempter to a desperate man, is it not? I cannot resist going up with this every night, and trying his door. If once I find it open he's done for! I do it invariably, even though the minute before I have been recalling a hundred reasons that should make me refrain: it is some devil that urges me to thwart91 my own schemes by killing92 him. You fight against that devil for love as long as you may; when the times comes, not all the angels in heaven shall save him!'
I surveyed the weapon inquisitively93. A hideous94 notion struck me: how powerful I should be possessing such an instrument! I took it from his hand, and touched the blade. He looked astonished at the expression my face assumed during a brief second: it was not horror, it was covetousness95. He snatched the pistol back, jealously; shut the knife, and returned it to its concealment96.
`I don't care if you tell him,' said he. `Put him on his guard, and watch for him. You know the terms we are on, I see: his danger does not shock you.'
`What has Heathcliff done to you?' I asked. `In what has he wronged you, to warrant this appalling97 hatred98? Wouldn't it be wiser to bid him quit the house?'
`No!' thundered Earnshaw, `should he offer to leave me, he's a dead man: persuade him to attempt it, and you are a murderess! Am I to lose all, without a chance of retrieval? Is Hareton to be a beggar? Oh, damnation! I will have it back; and I'll have his gold too; and then his blood; and hell shall have his soul! It will be ten times blacker with that guest than ever it was before!'
You've acquainted me, Ellen, with your old master's habits. He is clearly on the verge99 of madness: he was so last night at least. I shuddered100 to be near him, and thought on the servant's ill-bred moroseness101 as comparatively agreeable. He now recommenced his moody102 walk, and I raised the latch103, and escaped into the kitchen. Joseph was bending over the fire, peering into a large pan that swung above it; and a wooden bowl of oatmeal stood on the settle close by. The contents of the pan began to boil, and he turned to plunge104 his hand into the bowl; I conjectured105 that this preparation was probably for our supper, and, being hungry, I resolved it should be eatable; so, crying out sharply, `I'll make the porridge!' I removed the vessel106 out of his reach, and proceeded to take off my hat and riding habit. `Mr Earnshaw', I continued, `directs me to wait on myself: I will. I'm not going to act the lady among you, for fear I should starve.'
`Gooid Lord!' he muttered, sitting down, and stroking his ribbed stockings from the knee to the ankle. `If they's tuh be fresh ortherings--just when Aw gettin used tuh two maisters, if Aw mun hev a mistress set o'er my heead, it's loike time tuh be flitting. Aw niver did think tuh say t' day ut Aw mud lave th' owld place--but Aw daht it's nigh at hend!'
This lamentation107 drew no notice from me: I went briskly to work, sighing to remember a period when it would have been all merry fun; but compelled speedily to drive off the remembrance. It racked me to recall past happiness, and the greater peril108 there was of conjuring109 up its apparition110, the quicker the thible ran round, and the faster the handfuls of meal fell into the water. Joseph beheld111 my style of cookery with growing indignation.
`Thear!' he ejaculated, `Hareton, thah willut sup thy porridge tuh neight; they'll be nowt bud lumps as big as maw nave112. Thear, agean! Aw'd fling in bowl un all, if Aw wer yah! There, pale t' guilp off, un' then yah'll hae done wi't. Bang, bang. It's a marcy t' bothom isn't deaved aht!'
It was rather a rough mess, I own, when poured into the basins; four had been provided, and a gallon pitcher113 of new milk was brought from the dairy, which Hareton seized and commenced drinking and spilling from the expansive lip. I expostulated, and desired that he should have his in a mug; affirming that I could not taste the liquid treated so dirtily. The old cynic chose to be vastly offended at this nicety; assuring me, repeatedly, that `the barn was every bit as good' as I, `and every bit as wollsome', and wondering how I could fashion to be so conceited114. Meanwhile, the infant ruffian continued sucking; and glowered115 at me defyingly, as he slavered into the jug116.
`I shall have my supper in another room,' I said. `Have you no place you call a parlour?'
`Parlour!' he echoed sneeringly117, `parlour! Nay118, we've noa parlours. If yah dunnut loike wer company, there's maister's; un' if yah dunnut loike maister, there's us.
`Then I shall go upstairs!' I answered; `show me a chamber.' I put my basin on a tray, and went myself to fetch some more milk. With great grumblings, the fellow rose, and preceded me in my ascent119: we mounted to the garrets; he opening a door, now and then, to look into the apartments we passed.
`Here's a rahm,' he said, at last, flinging back a cranky board on hinges. `It's weel eneugh tuh ate a few porridge in. They's a pack o' corn i' t' corner, thear, meeterly clane; if yah're feared uh muckying yer grand silk cloes, spread yer hankerchir o' t' top on't.'
The `rahm' was a kind of lumber-hole smelling strong of malt and grain; various sacks of which articles were piled around, leaving a wide, bare space in the middle.
`Why, man!' I exclaimed, facing him angrily, `this is not a place to sleep in. I wish to see my bedroom.
`Bed-rume!' he repeated, in a tone of mockery. `Yah's see all t' bed-rumes thear is--yon's mine.'
He pointed120 into the second garret, only differing from the first in being more naked about the walls, and having a large, low, curtainless bed, with an indigo-coloured quilt at one end.
`What do I want with yours?' I retorted. `I suppose Mr Heathcliff does not lodge121 at the top of the house, does he?'
`Oh! it's Maister Hathecliff's yah're wenting!' cried he, as if making a new discovery. `Couldn't ye uh said soa, at onst? un then, Aw mud uh telled ye, baht all this wark, ut that's just one yah cannut sea--he alIas122 keeps it locked, un nob'dy iver mells on't but hisseln.'
`You've a nice house, Joseph,' I could not refrain from observing, `and pleasant inmates123; and I think the concentrated essence of all the madness in the world took up its abode124 in my brain the day I linked my fate with theirs! However, that is not to the present purpose--there are other rooms. For heaven's sake be quick, and let me settle somewhere!'
He made no reply to this adjuration125; only plodding126 doggedly127 down the wooden steps, and halting before an apartment which, from that halt and the superior quality of its furniture, I conjectured to be the best one. There was a carpet: a good one, but the pattern was obliterated128 by dust; a fireplace hung with cut paper, dropping to pieces; a handsome oak bedstead with ample crimson129 curtains of rather expensive material and modern make; but they had evidently experienced rough usage: the valances hung in festoons, wrenched130 from their rings, and the iron rod supporting them was bent in an arc on one side, causing the drapery to trail upon the floor. The chairs were also damaged, many of them severely131; and deep indentations deformed132 the panels of the walls. I was endeavouring to gather resolution for entering and taking possession, when my fool of a guide announced, `This here is t' maister's.' My supper by this time was cold, my appetite gone, and my patience exhausted. I insisted on being provided instantly with a place of refuge, and means of repose133.
`Whear the divil?' began the religious elder. `The Lord bless us! The Lord forgie us! Whear the hell wold ye gang? ye marred134, wearisome nowt! Yah seen all bud Hareton's bit uf a cham'er. They's not another hoile tuh lig dahn in i' th' hahse!'
I was so vexed135, I flung my tray and its contents on the ground; and then seated myself at the stairs-head, hid my face in my hands, and cried.
`Ech! ech!' exclaimed Joseph. `Weel done, Miss Cathy! weel done, Miss Cathy! Hahsiver, t' maister saIl just tum'le o'er them brocken pots; un' then we's hear summut; we's hear hah it's tuh be. Gooid-for-nowt madling! yah desarve pining froo this to Churstmas, flinging t' precious gifts uh God under fooit i' yer flaysome rages! Bud Aw'm mista'en if yah shew yer sperrit lang. Will Hathecliff bide136 sich bonny ways, think ye? Aw nobbut wish he muh cotch ye i' that plisky. Aw nobbut wish he may.'
And so he went on scolding to his den2 beneath, taking the candle with him; and I remained in the dark. The period of reflection succeeding this silly action, compelled me to admit the necessity of smothering137 my pride and choking my wrath138, and bestirring myself to remove its effects. An unexpected aid presently appeared in the shape of Throttler, whom I now recognized as a son of our old Skulker139: it had spent its whelphood at the Grange, and was given by my father to Mr Hindley. I fancy it knew me: it pushed its nose against mine by way of salute140, and then hastened to devour141 the porridge; while I groped from step to step, collecting the shattered earthenware142, and drying the spatters of milk from the banister with my pocket handkerchief. Our labours were scarcely over when I heard Earnshaw's tread in the passage; my assistant tucked in his tail, and pressed to the wall; I stole into the nearest doorway143. The dog's endeavour to avoid him was unsuccessful; as I guessed by a scutter downstairs, and a prolonged, piteous yelping144. I had better luck! he passed on, entered his chamber, and shut the door. Directly after Joseph came up with Hareton, to put him to bed. I had found shelter in Hareton's room, and the old man, on seeing me, said:
`They's rahm for boath ye un yer pride, now, I sud think, i' the hahse. It's empty; ye may hev it all to yerseln, un Him as allas maks a third, i' such ill company!'
Gladly did I take advantage of this intimation; and the minute I flung myself into a chair, by the fire, I nodded, and slept. My slumber145 was deep and sweet, though over far too soon. Mr Heathcliff awoke me; he had just come in, and demanded, in his loving manner, what I was doing there? I told him the cause of my staying up so late--that he had the key of our room in his pocket. The adjective our gave mortal offence. He swore it was not, nor ever should be, mine; and he'd--But I'll not repeat his language, nor describe his habitual146 conduct: he is ingenious and unresting in seeking to gain my abhorrence147! I sometimes wonder at him with an intensity148 that deadens my fear: yet, I assure you, a tiger or a venomous serpent could not rouse terror in me equal to that which he wakens. He told me of Catherine's illness, and accused my brother of causing it; promising149 that I should be Edgar's proxy150 in suffering, till he could get hold of him.
I do hate him--I am wretched--I have been a fool! Beware of uttering one breath of this to anyone at the Grange. I shall expect you every day--don't disappoint me!
两个月以来逃亡的人不见踪影。在这两个月里,林惇夫人受到了而且也克服了所谓脑膜炎的最厉害的冲击。任何一个母亲看护自己的独生子也不能比埃德加照料她更为尽心。日日夜夜,他守着,耐心地忍受着精神混乱与丧失理性的人所能给予的一切麻烦;虽然肯尼兹说他从坟墓中救出来的人日后反而成为使他经常焦虑的根源,——事实上,他牺牲了健康和精力不过是保住了一个废人——当凯瑟琳被宣告脱离生命危险时,他的感激和欢乐是无限的;他一小时一小时地坐在她旁边,看着她的健康渐渐恢复,而且幻想她的心理也会恢复平衡,不久就会完全和她以前本人一样。他就靠这个幻想使他那过于乐观的希望得到安慰。
她第一次离开卧房是在那年三月初。早上,林惇先生在她枕上放一束金色的藏红花。她已经有好久不习惯一点欢乐的光辉,当她醒来一看见这些花,就兴高采烈地把它们拢在一起,眼睛放出愉快的光彩。
“这些是山庄上开得最早的花,”她叫。“它们使我想起轻柔的暖风,和煦的阳光,还有快融化的雪。埃德加,外面有南风没有,雪是不是快化完啦?”
“这儿的雪差不多全化完了,亲爱的,”她的丈夫回答。
“在整个旷野上我只能看见两个白点:天是蓝的,百灵在歌唱,小河小溪都涨满了水。凯瑟琳,去年春天这时候,我正在渴望着你到这个房子里来;现在,我却希望你到一两哩路外的那些山庄上去:风吹得这么惬意,我觉得这可以医好你的病。”
“我再去一次就不会回来了,”病人说,“然后你就要离开我,我就要永远留在那儿。明年春天你又要渴望我到这个房子来,你就要回忆过去,而且想到今天你是快乐的。”
林惇在她身上不惜施以最温柔的爱抚,而且用最亲昵的话想使她高兴。可是,她茫然地望着花,眼泪聚在睫毛上,顺着她的双颊直淌,她也未在意。我们知道她是真的好些了,因此,确信她是由于长期关闭在一个地方才产生出这种沮丧的情绪,要是换一个地方,也许会消除一些的。主人叫我在那好几个星期没人进出的客厅里燃起炉火来,搬一把舒服的椅子放在窗口阳光下,然后把她抱下楼来。她坐了很久,享受着舒适的温暖。如我们所料,她四周的一切使她活泼起来了:这些东西虽然是熟悉的,却摆脱了笼罩着她那可厌的病床的那些凄凉的联想。晚上,看来她精疲力尽,但是没法劝她回卧房去,我只得在还没有布置好另一间屋子的时候,先把客厅沙发铺好作为她的床。为了不必上下楼太累,我们收拾了这间,就是你现在躺着的这间——跟客厅在同一层。不久她又好一点,可以靠在埃德加臂上从这间走到那间了。啊,我自己也想,她得到这样的服侍,是会复原的。而且有双重的原因希望她复原,因为另一个生命也倚仗她的生存而生存;我们都暗暗地希望林惇先生的心不久就会快乐起来,而他的土地,由于继承人的诞生,将不至于被一个陌生人夺去。
这儿我应该提一提伊莎贝拉在她走后六个星期左右,寄了一封短信给她哥哥,宣布她跟希刺克厉夫结婚了。信写得似乎冷淡乏味,可是在下面用铅笔写了隐晦的道歉的话,而且说如果她的行为得罪了他,就恳求他原谅与和解:说她当时没法不这样作,事已如此,现在她也无法反悔。我相信林惇没回这封信。过了两个多星期,我收到一封长信,这信出自一个刚过完蜜月的新娘的笔下,我认为很古怪。现在我来把它念一遍,因为我还留着它呢。死人的任何遗物都是珍贵的,如果他们生前就被人重视的话。
亲爱的艾伦,(信是这样开始的)——昨天晚上我来到呼啸山庄,这才头一回听到凯瑟琳曾经,而且现在还是病得很厉害。我想我千万不能给她写信,我哥哥不是太生气,就是太难过,以至于不回我写给他的信。可是,我一定要给个什么人写封信,留给我唯一的对象就是你了。
告诉埃德加我只要能再见他一面,就是离开人世也愿意——我离开画眉田庄还不到二十四小时我的心就回到那儿了,直到这时我的心还在那儿,对他,还有凯瑟琳充满了热烈的感情。虽然我不能随着我的心意做——(这些字下面是划了线的)——他们用不着期待我,他们可以随便下什么结论;可是,注意,不要归罪于我的脆弱的意志或不健全的情感。
这下面的话是给你一个人看的。我要问你两个问题:第一个是——
你当初住在这里的时候,你是怎么努力保存着人类通常所有的同情之心的?我没法看出来我周围的人和我有什么共同的感情。
第二个问题是我非常关心的,就是——
希刺克厉夫是人吗?如果是,他是不是疯了?如果不是,他是不是一个魔鬼?我不想告诉你我问这话的理由。可是如果你能够的话,我求你解释一下我嫁给了一个什么东西——那就是说,等你来看我的时候你告诉我。而且,艾伦,你必须很快就来。不要写信,就来吧,把埃德加的话也捎给我吧。
现在,你听听我在我这个新家是怎样被接待的吧,因为我不得不认为这个山庄将是我的新家了。若是我告诉你在这里表面生活上的不舒适,那仅仅是哄哄自己的,这些从来没有占据过我的思想,除非在我想念这些的时候。要是我明白我的痛苦完全是由于缺少舒适所致,其余的一切只是一场离奇的梦,那我真要高兴得大笑大跳了。
在我们向旷野走去时,太阳已经落在田庄后面了。根据这一点,我想该是六点钟了。我的同伴停留了半小时,检查着果树园,花园,还有,也许就是这地方本身,尽可能不放过任何一处,因此当我们在田舍的铺了石子的院子下马时,天已经黑了。你的老同事,仆人约瑟夫,借着烛光出来接我们。他以一种足以给他面子增光的礼貌来接待我们。他的第一个动作就是把烛火向上举得和我的脸平齐,恶毒地斜瞅一眼,撇着他的下唇,就转身走开了。随后他牵着两匹马,把它们带到马厩里去,又重新出现,目的是锁外面大门,仿佛我们住在一座古代堡垒里一样。
希刺克厉夫待在那儿跟他说话,我就进了厨房——一个又脏又乱的洞。我敢说你认不得那儿了,比起归你管的那时候可变得多了。有一个恶狠狠的孩子站在炉火旁边,身体健壮,衣服肮脏,眼睛和嘴角都带着凯瑟琳的神气。
“这是埃德加的内侄吧,”我想——“也可以算是我的内侄呢。我得跟他握手,而且——是的——我得亲亲他。一开始就建立相互了解是正确的。”
我走近他,打算去握他那胖拳头,说:
“我亲爱的,你好吗?”
他用一种我没法懂的话回答我。
“你和我可以作朋友吗,哈里顿?”这是我第二次试着攀谈。
来了一声咒骂,而且恐吓说如果我不“滚开”,就要叫勒头儿来咬我了,这便是我的坚持所得的报酬。
“喂,勒头儿,娃儿!”这小坏蛋低声叫,把一只杂种的牛头狗从墙角它的窝里唤出来。“现在,你走不走?”他很威风地问道。
出于对我生命的爱惜,我服从了。我迈出门槛,等着别人进来。到处也不见希刺克厉夫的踪影。约瑟夫呢,我跟他走到马厩,请他陪我进去,他先瞪着我,又自己咕噜着,随后就皱起鼻子回答:
“咪!咪!咪!基督徒可曾听过像这样话没有?扭扭捏捏,叽哩咕噜!我怎么知道你说什么呢?”
“我说,我想你陪我到屋里去!”我喊着,以为他聋了,但是十分厌恶他的粗暴无礼。
“我才不!我还有别的事作哩,”他回答,继续干他的活。同时抖动着他那瘦长的下巴,带着顶轻蔑的样子打量我的衣着和面貌(衣服未免太精致,但是面貌,我相信他想要多惨就有多惨)。
我绕过院子,穿过一个侧门,走到另一个门前,我大胆敲了敲,希望也许有个客气点的仆人出现。过了一会,一个高大而样子可怕的男人开了门,他没戴围巾,全身上下显得邋遢,不修边幅。他的脸都被披在他肩膀上的一大堆乱七八糟的头发遮住了;他的眼睛也生得像幽灵似的凯瑟琳的眼睛,所有的美都毁灭无遗了。
“你到这儿干吗?”他凶狠狠地问道。“你是谁?”
“我的姓名是伊莎贝拉·林惇,”我回答。“先生,你以前见过我的。我最近嫁给希刺克厉夫先生了,他把我带到这儿来的——我猜是已经得到了你的允许的。”
“那么,他回来了吗?”这个隐士问,像个饿狼似的睨视着。
“是的,这会我们刚刚到,”我说,“可是他把我撂在厨房门口不管了。我正想进去的时候,你的小孩在那儿作哨兵,他叫来一只牛头狗,帮着他把我吓跑了。”
“这该死的流氓居然说到做到,倒不错!”我的未来的主人吼着,向我后面的黑暗里张望,想发现希刺克厉夫。然后他信口开河地自言自语咒骂一通,又讲了一连串威胁人的话,说如果那“恶魔”骗了他,他便要如何如何。
我很后悔曾想从这第二个门里进去,他还没咒骂完,我已经想溜开了,可是我还没能照这个打算做,他就命令我进去,把门关上,上了锁。房里炉火很旺,那就是这间大屋子里所有的光亮了,地板已经全部变成灰色;曾经闪亮的白镴盘子,当我还是个小女孩时,总是吸引着我瞅它,如今已被污垢和灰尘搞得同样的暗淡无光。我问他们我可不可以叫女仆带我到卧房去!恩萧先生却没有回答。他来回地走着,手插在口袋里,显然完全忘了我的存在。这当儿,他是那样的心不在焉,那样一脸的愤世嫉俗的神态,使我也不敢再打扰他了。
艾伦,你对我这特别不快活的感觉不会奇怪吧,我坐在那不好客的炉火旁,比孤独还糟,想起四英里外就有我的愉快的家,住着我在世上所最爱的人。然而却像是大西洋隔开了我们,而不是四英里:我越不过它!我扪心自问——我该向哪儿寻求安慰呢?而且——千万不要告诉埃德加或凯瑟琳——撇开各种悲哀不谈,这点是主要的:灰心绝望,因为找不到任何人能够或是愿意作我的同盟来反对希刺克厉夫!我到呼啸山庄来住曾经几乎高兴过一阵,因为这样安排就可以从此不必跟他单独过日子了。但是他懂得跟我们相处的人,他并不怕他们会管闲事。
我坐着,想着,悲悲切切地过了一会儿。钟敲了八下,九下,我的同伴仍然来回踱着,他的头垂到胸前,而且完全沉默,只有间或迸出一声呻吟或一声辛酸的叹息。我倾听着,想听到屋里有女人的声音,我心里充满了狂乱的悔恨和凄凉的预感,我终于忍不住出声地叹息着,哭了。我本来没理会我是怎么当着人伤心起来,直到恩萧在我对面停住了他那规规矩矩的散步,而且以如梦初醒的惊奇神情盯着我。利用他那恢复了的注意力,我就大声说:
“我走得累了,想上床睡觉!女仆在哪里?既是她不来见我,就领我去找她吧!”
“我们没有女仆,”他回答,“你就伺候你自己吧!”“那么,我该在哪儿睡呢?”我抽泣着,我已经顾不得自尊心了,我的自尊心已经被疲劳和狼狈压倒了。
“约瑟夫会领你到希刺克厉夫的卧房去,”他说,“开开那门——他在里面。”
我正要遵命,可他忽然捉住我,用最古怪的腔调说:
“你最好锁上门,上了门闩——别忘了!”
“好吧!”我说。“可是为什么呢,恩萧先生?”我从来没有过这种念头,故意把我自己跟希刺克厉夫锁在屋里。
“瞧这儿!”他回答,从他的背心里拔出一把做得很特别的手枪,枪筒上安着一把双刃的弹簧刀。“对于一个绝望的人,那是个很诱惑人的东西,是不是?我每天晚上总不能不带这个上楼,还要试试他的门。若是有一次我发现门是开着的,他可就完蛋了;就是一分钟之前我还想出一百条理由使我忍下去,我也一定还是这样作:是有魔鬼逼着我去杀掉他,好打乱我自己的计划。你反抗那魔鬼,爱反抗多久就多久;时辰一到,天上所有的天使也救不了他!”
我好奇地细看着这武器。我想到一个可怕的念头:我要是有这么一个武器,就可以变成强者了。我从他手里拿过来,摸摸刀刃。他对我脸上一瞬间所流露的表情觉得惊愕:那表情不是恐怖,而是贪婪。他猜忌地把手枪夺回去,合拢刀子,又把它藏回原处。
“你就是告诉他,我也不在乎,”他说。“让他警戒,替他防守。我看出,你知道我们的关系:他身受危险,可你并不惊慌。”
“希刺克厉夫对你怎么啦?”我问。“他有什么事得罪了你,惹起这么怕人的仇恨?叫他离开这个家不是更聪明些吗?”
“不!”恩萧大发雷霆,“要是他提议离开我,他就要成为一个死人啦:你要是劝他离开,你就是一个杀人犯!难道我就得失去一切,没有挽回的机会吗?哈里顿是不是要作一个乞丐呢?啊,天杀的!我一定要拿回来:他的金子,我也要;还有他的血;地狱将收留他的灵魂!有了那个客人,地狱要比以前黑暗十倍!”
艾伦,你曾经给我讲过你的旧主人的习惯。他分明在疯狂的边缘上了:至少昨天晚上他是这样的。我一靠近他就发抖,相比之下,那个仆人的毫无教养的坏脾气反倒叫人好受些。他现在又开始他那郁郁的走来走去了,我就拔起门闩,逃到厨房里去。约瑟夫正在弯着腰对着火,盯着火上悬着的一只大锅,还有一木盆的麦片摆在旁边高背椅上。锅里的东西开始烧滚了,他转过来把手朝盆里伸。我猜想这大概是预备我们的晚饭,我既然饿了,就决定要把它烧得能吃下去,因此尖声叫出来,“我来煮粥!”我把那个盆挪开,使他够不到,而且脱下我的帽子和骑马服。“恩萧先生,”我接着说,“叫我伺候自己:我就这样办。我不要在你们中间作小姐,因为我怕我会饿死的。”
“老天爷!”他咕噜着坐下来,抚摩着他那罗纹袜子,从膝盖摸到脚腕。“又要有新鲜的差使啦——我才习惯了两个东家,又有个女主人到我头上来啦,真像是时光流转,世事大变哪。我没想到过会有一天我得高开老地方——可我怀疑就近在眼前啦!”
他的悲叹并没有引起我注意。我敏捷地煮着粥,叹息着想起有一个时期一切都是欢乐有趣,可是马上不得不赶开这些记忆。回忆起昔日的快乐真使我感到难过,过去的幻影越拚命出现,我就把粥搅动得越快,大把大把的麦片掉在水里也更快。约瑟夫看到我这烹调方式,越来越气。
“瞧!”他大叫。“哈里顿,今天晚上可没你的麦粥喝啦,粥里没别的,只有像我拳头那么大的块块。瞧,又来啦!要我是你呀,我就连盆都扔下去!瞧呀,把粥都倒光,你这就算是搞完啦。砰,砰。锅底没敲掉还算大慈大悲呢!”
我承认,把粥倒在盆里时,简直是一团糟。预备了四个盆,一加伦的罐子盛着从牛奶场取来的新鲜牛奶,哈里顿抢过来就用他那张大的嘴连喝带漏。我忠告他,希望他用个杯子喝他的牛奶;我肯定说我没法尝搞得这么脏的牛奶。那个满腹牢骚的老头对于这种讲究居然大怒,再三地跟我说,“这孩子每一丁点”都跟我“一样的好”,“每一丁点都健康”。奇怪我怎么能这样自高自大。同时,那小恶徒继续吮着,他一边向着罐子里淌口水,一边还挑战似地怒目睨视着我。
“我要在另一间屋子吃晚饭,”我说。“你们没有可以叫做客厅的地方吗?”
“客厅!”他轻蔑地仿效着,“客厅!没有,我们没有客厅。要是你不喜欢跟我们在一起,找主人去好了。要是你不喜欢主人,还有我们啦。”
“那我就要上楼了。”我回答,“领我到一间卧房里去。”
我把我的盆放在一个托盘上,自己又去拿点牛奶,那个家伙说着一大堆嘟囔话站起来,在我上楼时走在我前面:我们走到阁楼,他时不时地开房门,把那些我们所经过的房间都瞧一下。
“这儿有间屋子,”终于,他突然拧着门轴推开一扇有裂缝的木板门。“在这里头喝点粥可够好啦。在角落里有堆稻草,就在那儿,挺干净。你要是怕弄脏你那华丽的绸衣服,就把手绢铺在上面吧。”
这屋子是个堆房之类,有一股强烈的麦子和谷子气味。各种粮食袋子堆在四周,中间留下一块宽大的空地方。
“怎么,你这个人,”我生气地对他大叫,“这不是睡觉的地方。我要看看我的卧房。”
“卧房,”他用嘲弄的声调重复一下。“你看了所有的卧房啦——这是我的。”
他指着第二个阁楼,跟头一个的唯一区别在于墙上空些,还有一张又大又矮的没有帐子的床,一头放着一床深蓝色的棉被。
“我要你的干吗?”我回骂着。“我猜希刺克厉夫先生总不会住在阁楼上吧,是吗?”
“啊!你是要希刺克厉夫少爷的房间呀?”他叫,好像有了新的发现似的。“你就不能早说吗?那么,我要告诉你,甭费事啦,那正是你看不到的一间屋子——他总是把它锁住的,谁也进不去,除了他自己。”
“你们有一个很好的家,约瑟夫。”我忍不住说,“还有讨人喜欢的同伴。我觉得在我的命运跟他们联在一起的这天起,世界上所有疯狂的精华都集聚到我的脑子里来了!但是,现在这些话说了也没用——还有别的房间呢。看在上天的份上,赶快把我安顿在什么地方吧!”
他对于这个恳求没有答理,只是固执地、沉重缓慢地走下木梯,在一间屋子的门口停下来。从他那停步不前和屋里家具的上等质料看来,我猜这是最好的一间了。那儿有块地毯——挺好的一块,可是图样已经被尘土弄得看不清楚了。一个壁炉上面糊着花纸,已经掉得一块块的。一张漂亮的橡木床,挂着很大的猩红色帷帐。用的材料是贵重的,式样也是时新的,但是显然被人粗心大意地使用过:原先挂成一只只花球的帐帘,给扭得脱出了帐钩,挂帐子的铁杆有一边弯成弧形,使帷帐拖在地板上了。椅子也都残缺,有好几把坏得很厉害。深深的凹痕把墙上的嵌板搞得很难看。我正想下决心进去住下来,这时我的笨蛋向导宣布:“这儿是主人的。”我的晚饭到这时候已经冷了,也没有胃口,忍耐也耗尽了。我坚持要马上有一个安身之处和供我休息的设备。
“到哪个鬼地方去呢?”这个虔诚的长者开始了。“主祝福我们!主饶恕我们!你要到哪个地狱去呢!你这麻烦的废物!你除了哈里顿的小屋子,可什么都看过啦。在这所房子里可没有别的洞可钻啦!”
我是这么烦恼,我把托盘和上面的东西突然往地上一丢,接着坐在楼梯口,捂着脸大哭起来。
“哎呀!哎呀!”约瑟夫大叫。“干得好呀,凯蒂小姐①!干得好呀,凯蒂小姐!可是呀,主人就会在这些破片上摔跤,那我们就等着听训吧。我们就听听该怎么着吧。不学好的疯子呀!你就应该从现在到圣诞节一直瘦下去,只因为你大发脾气把上帝的珍贵恩赐丢在地上!可你要是总这么任性,那我可不信。你以为希刺克厉夫受得了这种好作风?我巴望他在这会儿捉到你。但愿他捉到你。”
①凯蒂小姐——这是凯瑟琳的简称。约瑟夫在此时对伊莎贝拉大叫凯蒂小姐,是因为这时伊莎贝拉的脾气跟凯瑟琳过去在山庄时一样,约瑟夫在大怒之下,便脱口喊出“凯蒂小姐”!
他就这么骂骂咧咧地回到他的窝里,把蜡烛也带走了:留下我在黑暗里。紧接着这愚蠢的动作之后,我考虑一会,不得不承认有必要克制我的骄傲,咽下我的愤怒,并且振作起来把东西收拾干净。立刻出现了一个意外的帮手,就是勒头儿,我现在认出它就是我们的老狐儿的儿子:它小时是在田庄里,后来我父亲把它给了辛德雷先生。我猜想它认出我了:它用鼻尖顶顶我的鼻子算是敬礼,然后赶紧去舔粥。这时我一步一步摸索着,收拾起碎瓷片,用我的手绢擦掉溅在栏杆上的牛奶。
我们刚忙完,我就听见恩萧在过道上走过的脚步声;我的助手夹着尾巴,紧贴着墙,我偷偷地挨到最近的门口去了。狗想躲开,可是失败了;从一阵慌忙跑下楼的声音和可怜的长嗥,我就猜出来了。我的运气较好:他走过去,进了他的卧房,关上了门。紧接着,约瑟夫带哈里顿上楼,送他上床睡觉。我才发现我是躲在哈里顿的屋里,这老头一看见我就说:
“现在我想大厅可以容得下你和你的傲气了。那儿空了,你可以自己独占,上帝他老人家总是个第三者,陪着这样的坏人。”
我很高兴地利用了这个暗示,我刚刚坐到炉边的一张椅子上,就打瞌睡,睡着了。
我睡得又沉又香,虽然很快就睡不成。希刺克厉夫先生把我叫醒。他才进来,而且用他那可爱的态度质问我在那儿干吗?我告诉他我所以迟迟不去睡的原因——是他把我们的屋子钥匙搁在他的口袋里了。我们的这个附加词引起了他勃然大怒。他赌咒说那屋子本来不是,也永远不会归我所有;而且他要——可我不愿意再重复他的话,也不愿意描述他那照例的行为:他巧妙地、无休止地想尽方法激起我的憎恶!我有时觉得他实在奇怪,奇怪得减低了我的恐惧。可是,我跟你说,一只老虎或一条毒蛇使我引起的恐怖也抵不上他所引起的。他告诉我凯瑟琳有病,责怪是我哥哥逼出来的;发誓说一直要把我当作埃德加的替身来受罪,直到他能报复他为止。
我真恨他——我是不幸的——我作了一个傻瓜!千万不要把这事对田庄的任何人透露一点风声。我每天都期待着你——不要让我失望吧!
伊莎贝拉