The Lobster¹ Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs² choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again:--

`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)-- `and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' (Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful³ thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'

`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'

`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--'

`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon⁴, and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'

`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.

`--you advance twice--'

`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to partners--'

`--change lobsters⁵, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.

`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'

`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

`--as far out to sea as you can--'

`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering⁶ wildly about.

`Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.

`Very much indeed,' said Alice.

`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?'

`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'

So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:--

`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail⁸. "There's a porpoise⁹ close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly¹⁰, but he would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly¹¹ friend replied. "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer is to France-- Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"'

`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so like that curious song about the whiting!'

`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've seen them, of course?'

`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself hastily.

`I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're like.'

`I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs¹².'

`You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: `crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all that,' he said to the Gryphon.

`The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'

`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew so much about a whiting before.'

`I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'

`I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'

`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly¹³ puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in a wondering tone.

`Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I mean, what makes them so shiny?'

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.'

`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.'

`And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.

`Soles and eels<sup>14</sup>, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: `any shrimp¹⁵ could have told you that.'

`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'

`They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'

`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"'

`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'

`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.'

`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.

`No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.'

So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly¹⁶ quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar<sup>17</sup>, and the words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said `That's very curious.'

`It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.

`It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeatedthoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.

`Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.

`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--

`'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a duck with its eyelids¹⁸, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'

[later editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark¹⁹, And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.

`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon²⁰ nonsense.'

Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.

`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.

`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'

`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD he turn them out with his nose, you know?'

`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.

`Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: `it begins "I passed by his garden."'

Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--

`I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the Owl⁷ and the Panther were sharing a pie--'

[later editions continued as follows The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy²¹, and meat, While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon²², Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl²³, And concluded the banquet--]

`What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever heard!'

`Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to do so.

`Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'

`Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, `Hm! No accounting²⁴ for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:--

`Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

`Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two p ennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'

`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance.

`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.

`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy²⁵ words:--

`Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

龙虾四组舞 

素甲鱼深深地叹息着，用一只手背抹着眼泪，瞧着爱丽丝想说话，可是有好一阵子泣不成声。“好像他嗓子里卡了根骨头。”鹰头狮说。于是就摇它和拍它的背。终于素甲鱼能开口说话了，它一面流着眼泪，一面说：“你可能没在海底下住过很久。”（“从来没住过，”爱丽丝说）“你也许从来不认识龙虾吧！”（爱丽丝刚想说“我吃过……”，但立即改口，说“从来没有”），“所以你一点也想不到龙虾四组舞有多么好玩。”

“是啊，”爱丽丝说，“那是一种什么舞呢？”
鹰头狮说：“先是在海岸边站成一排……”
“两排！”素甲鱼叫道，“海豹、乌龟和娃鱼都排好队。然后，把所有的水母都清扫掉……”
“这常常得费一阵工夫呢！”鹰头狮插嘴说，
“然后，向前进两步……”
“每个都有一只龙虾作舞伴！”鹰头狮叫道。
“当然啦，”素甲鱼说道，“向前进两步，组好舞伴……”
“再交换舞伴，向后退两步。”鹰头狮接着说。

素甲鱼说：“然后你就把龙虾……”
“扔出去！”鹰头狮蹦起来嚷道。
“尽你的力把它远远地扔到海里去。”
“再游着水去追它们。”鹰头狮尖声叫道。
“在海里翻一个筋斗！”素甲鱼叫道，它发疯似地跳来跳去。
“再交换龙虾！”鹰头狮用最高的嗓门嚷叫。
“再回到陆地上，再……这就是舞的第一节。”素甲鱼说。它的声音突然低了下来。于是，这两个刚才像疯子似的跳来跳去的动物，又坐了下来，非常安静而又悲伤地瞧着爱丽丝。

“那一定是挺好看的舞。”爱丽丝胆怯地说，
“你想看一看吗？”素甲鱼问。
“很想看。”爱丽丝说。
“咱们来跳跳第一节吧，”素甲鱼对鹰头狮说道，“你知道，咱们没有龙虾也行。不过谁来唱呢？”
“啊，你唱，”鹰头狮说，“我忘了歌词了。”

于是他们庄严地围着爱丽丝跳起舞来，一面用前爪拍着拍子。当他们跳到跟前的时候，常常要踩着爱丽丝的脚。素甲鱼缓慢而悲伤地唱道：
“鳕鱼对蜗牛说：
‘你不能走得快点吗，
一只海豚正跟在我们后面，
它常常踩着我的尾巴。
你瞧龙虾和乌龟多么匆忙，
海滩舞会马上开始啦！
你愿意去跳舞吗？
你愿去，你要去，你愿去，你要去，
你愿去跳舞吗，
你愿去，你要去，你愿去，你要去，
你要去跳舞吗？’

你真不知道那有多么好玩，
我们和龙虾一道被扔得老远。’
‘太远啦，太远啦。’蜗牛斜了一眼回答。
它说谢谢鳕鱼，
但它不愿把舞会参加。
它不愿，它不能，它不愿，它不能，
它不愿把舞会参加。
它不愿，它不能，它不愿，它不能，
它不能把舞会参加。

它的有鳞的朋友回答：
‘扔得远又有什么相干？
你要知道，在大海那边，
还有另一个海岸。
如果你更远地离开英格兰，
就会更加接近法兰西。
亲爱的蜗牛，不要害怕，
赶快去把舞会参加。
你不愿，你可要，你可愿，你可要，
你可愿把舞会参加？
你不愿，你可要，你可愿，你可要，
你可要把舞会参加？’”

“谢谢你，我组舞真好玩，”爱丽丝说，她很高兴它终于结束了，“我很喜欢这支奇怪的关于鳕鱼的歌。”
素甲鱼说：“哦，说到鳕鱼，它们……你当然看见过它们啦？”
“是的，”爱丽丝回答，“在饭……”，她想说在饭桌上，但是急忙停住了。
“我不知道‘饭’是什么地方，”素甲鱼说，“不过，如果你常常看见它们，你当然知道它们的样子了。”
“我想我知道，”爱丽丝思索着说，“它们把尾巴弯到嘴里，身上撒满了面包屑（这是西菜中烧好的鳕鱼的样子。）。”
“面包屑？你可说错了！”素甲鱼说，“海水会把面包屑冲掉的。不过它们倒真是把尾巴弯到嘴里的。这个缘故是……”说到这里，素甲鱼打个哈欠，合上了眼。“告诉她这是什么缘故。”它对鹰头狮说。
鹰头狮说，“这是因为它们同龙虾一道参加舞会，于是，它们就从海里被扔出去了，于是，它们落得老远，于是，它们就把尾巴塞到嘴里去了，于是，它们没法把尾巴弄出来了。就是这些。”

“谢谢你，”爱丽丝说，“真有意思，我以前不知道这么多的关于鳕鱼的故事。”
“如果你愿意，我还可以告诉你更多哩！”鹰头狮说，“你知道为什么叫鳕鱼吗？”
“我没想过，”爱丽丝说，“为什么？”
“它是擦靴子和鞋子的。”鹰头狮严肃地说。
爱丽丝感到迷惑不解。“擦靴子和鞋子？”她诧异地问。
“是的，你的鞋用什么擦的？”鹰头狮说，“我的意思是，你用什么把鞋子擦得那么亮？”
爱丽丝看了下自己的鞋子，想了一下说：“我用的黑鞋油。”
“靴子和鞋子在海里，要白得发亮，”鹰头狮说，“你知道，是用鳕鱼的雪擦亮的。”
“鳕鱼的雪是由什么做成的呢？”爱丽丝好奇地问。
“当然是鳊鱼和鳗鱼啦！”鹰头狮很不耐烦地回答，“就是小虾也会这样告诉你的。”
“如果我是鳕鱼，”爱丽丝说，脑子里还想着那首歌，“我会对海豚说“远一点，我们不要你同我们在一起！’”
“它们不得不要海豚，”素甲鱼说，“没有一种聪明的鱼外出旅行时，不要海豚的。”
“真的吗？”爱丽丝惊奇地说。
“可不是，”素甲鱼说，“如果有鱼外出旅行，来告诉我，我就会说‘哪个海豚去’”
“你说什么‘孩童’？”爱丽丝说。
“我知道我说的意思，”素甲鱼生气地回答。鹰头狮接着说：“让我们听听关于你的故事吧。”
“我可以告诉你们我的故事——从今天早晨开始，”爱丽丝有点胆怯地说，“咱们不必从昨天开始，因为从那以后，我已经变成另一个人啦。”
“你解释解释。”素甲鱼说。
“不，不！先讲故事，后解释。”鹰头狮不耐烦地说，“解释太耽误功夫了。”

于是，爱丽丝讲她的故事了，她从瞧见那只白兔讲起，在刚开始的时候，她还有点不安——那两个动物坐得离她那么近，一边一个，眼睛和嘴又睁得那么大。但是她逐渐胆大起来了，她的两个听众安静地听着。’”直到她讲到给毛毛虫背《你老了，威廉爸爸》，背出来的字眼全不对的时候，素甲鱼深深地吸了一口气，说道：“这非常奇怪。”

“怪得没法再怪啦。”鹰头狮说。

“这首诗全背错啦，”素甲鱼沉思着重复说，“我想再听听她背诵点什么东西，让她开始吧。”他看看鹰头狮，好像鹰头狮对爱丽丝有什么权威似的。

“站起来背《那是懒蛋的声音》。”鹰头狮说。
“些动物老是那么喜欢命令人，老让人背书，”爱丽丝想，“我还不如马上回学校去呢。然而，她还是站起来背了。可是她脑子里仍然充满龙虾四组舞的事，简直不知道自己在说些什么。她背出来的东西确实非常奇怪：
“那是龙虾的声音，
我听见它在讲——
‘你们把我烤得太黄，
我头发里还得加点糖。’
它用自己的鼻子，
正像鸭子用自己的眼睑一样，
整理自己的腰带和钮扣，
还把脚吐向外扭转。
当沙滩干燥的时候，
它就像云雀一样喜欢。
它洋洋得意地同鲨鱼攀谈，
但是当潮水上涨，鲨鱼把它包围，
它的声音就变得胆怯而又抖颤！”

“这同我小时候背的完全不一样。”鹰头狮说。
“我以前从来没听过，”素甲鱼说，“可是听起来尽是些傻话。”

爱丽丝什么话也没说，她又坐了下来，双手掩住了脸，不知道什么时候才会恢复正常。
“我希望她解释一下。”素甲鱼说。
“她解释不了，”鹰头狮急忙说，“背下一段吧。”
“但是关于脚趾是怎么回事？”素甲鱼坚持说，“它怎么能用自己的鼻子扭转它们呢？”
“那是跳舞的第一个姿势，”爱丽丝说。可是她被这一切弄得莫名其妙，所以非常希望换一个话题。
“背第二节，”鹰头狮不耐烦地说，“开头是‘我经过她的花园’。”
爱丽丝不敢违背，虽然她明知道一切都会弄错的。她用发抖的声音背道：

“我经过她的花园，
并且用一只眼睛看见，
豹子和猫头鹰，
正在把馅饼分餐。
豹子分到了外皮、肉汁和肉馅，
猫头鹰只分到了一个空盘。
在馅饼吃完以后，
豹子仁慈地答应猫头鹰，
把汤匙放它衣袋里作为礼物。
而豹子自己发出一声怒吼，
把刀子和叉子通通拿走。
在宴会的最后，
它还……”

这时素甲鱼插嘴说道：“要是你不能一边背一边解释，那么背这些胡说八道的东西有什么用？这是我听到过的最乱七八糟的东西了。
“你最好停下来吧！”鹰头狮说。爱丽丝实在太愿意这么办了。
“我们再跳一节龙虾四组舞好吗？”鹰头狮继续说，“或者，你愿意听素甲鱼给你唱支歌吗？”
“啊，请来一支歌吧，要是素甲鱼愿意的话。”爱丽丝说得那么热情，使得鹰头狮用不高兴的口气说：“趣味太低了。老伙计，那你就给她唱支‘甲鱼汤’，好吗？”

素甲鱼深深地叹了一口气，用一种经常被抽泣打断的声音唱道：
“美味的汤，
在热气腾腾的盖碗里装。
绿色的浓汤，
谁不愿意尝一尝，
这样的好汤。
晚餐用的汤，美味的汤，
晚餐用的汤，美味的汤，
美……味的汤……汤！
美……味的汤……汤！
晚……晚……晚餐用的……汤，
美味的，美味的汤！

“美味的汤！
有了它，谁还会再把鱼想，
再想把野味和别的菜来尝？
谁不最想尝一尝，
两便士（先令和便士是英国的货币单位，十二便士为一先令，二十先令为一英镑。）一碗的好汤？
两便士一碗的好汤？
美……味的汤……汤！
美……味的汤……汤！
晚……晚……晚餐用的汤……汤，
美味的，美……味的汤！”

“再来一遍合唱！”鹰头狮叫道。素甲鱼刚要开口，就听到远处叫道“审讯开始啦！”“走吧！”鹰头狮叫道，它拉住了爱丽丝的手，也不等那支歌唱完，急忙跑了。“什么审讯呀？”爱丽丝一面跑一面喘着气问，但是鹰头狮只是说“走吧”。他跑得更快了。微风送来了越来越微弱的单调的歌词：“晚……晚……晚餐用的汤……汤，美味的、美味的汤！”

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