The happiest moment in a woman's life

    Is when she hears the turn of her lover's key

    In the lock， and pretends to be asleep

    When he enters the room， trying to be

    Quiet but clumsy， bumping¹ into things，

    And she can smell the liquor on his breath

    But forgives him because she has him back

    And doesn't have to sleep alone.

    The happiest moment in a man's life

    Is when he climbs out of bed

    With a woman， after an hour's sleep，

    After making love， and pulls on

    His trousers， and walks outside，

    And pees in the bushes， and sees

    The high August sky full of stars

    And gets in his car and drives home.