Women's Bumper-Stickers

Women's Bumper-Stickers
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SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT¹ TRIPS.

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT² EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,
SEEKS FROG.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

WARNING³: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT⁴, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

ALL STRESSED⁵ OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE⁶.

I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.