Like an Old Salt

There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul¹ mouth is driving him nuts.

One day, it just gets to be too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.


Then the guy gets angry and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates² the bird and
he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would
make a sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din³.
The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird meekly⁴ climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully⁵ sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded⁶ and amazed at the transformation⁷ that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the CHICKEN DO?"