Elephants

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.

Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed with you?
A: She has a big 'E' on her pajama jacket pocket.

Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.

Q. Why do elephants have four feet?
A. Because lady elephants have big twats.

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

Q: What do elephants use for condoms?
A: Snakes.

Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?
A: Epileptic pigmies.

Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?
A: 'Cos sheep don't have strings¹.

Q: How do you know when an elephant has its period?
A: There is a quarter on your dresser and your mattress² is missing.

Q: What is an elephant's sex organ?
A: His foot... If he steps on you you're FUCKED!

Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders³?
A: A pachydermatologist.

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
A: A two-ton pickup⁴.

Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"

Q: What did the elephant say to the nude⁵ man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?