Greg's mother: You boys are five minutes early. Did you have a good time?

 

Greg: A great time.

 

Greg's mother: That's so sweet.

 

Mr. Cowen: I just can't get over how well your boys get along.

 

Greg's father: Well, Larry, we run a pretty tight ship around here, so...about boundaries, rules, anyway. Let me show you some of those civil war act photos last time you talked about.

 

Greg's mother: So what did you boys do?

 

Rodrick: Just hanging out at the mall. And talked about life. Just nothing special.

 

Greg's mother: Oh, my God.

 

Greg's father: Rodrick, can you explain what you are doing in this photo?

 

Rodrick: That's not me.

 

Greg's father: That's not you?

 

Rodrick: Nope.

 

Greg's father: Ok. How about these? I can't believe that you had a party!

 

Greg's mother: Greg, you told me it was a couple of kids. A band rehearsal¹.

 

Greg's father: Wait, Susan, you knew about this?

 

Greg's mother: Yes. Yes. I knew.

 

Rodrick: What! You told Mom?

 

Greg's father: You knew they had a party.

 

Greg: It's slipped out, but I took it back.

 

Greg's mother: My instinct told me you weren't being honest, but...I should trust my instinct.

 

Greg's father: You knew about this, but you did not tell me about it?

 

Greg: I still protected you. I threw Mom off your scent².

 

Rodrick: Great job, she has no idea.

 

Greg's father: We are supposed to be a team against them.

 

Greg's mother: They are getting along so well and that blinds me to the trust.

 

Rodrick: Why were you taking pictures?

 

Greg: It's so busy that morning that I forgot we took the pictures.

 

Greg's mother: I'm sorry I let it slide and I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I feel so good to get that out. I even haven't been able to lock that bathroom door for two weeks.

 

Greg's father: I knew that door had a lock on it! Everybody was trying to make me feel like I was losing my mind!

 

Mr. Cowen: We will just let ourselves out. I wouldn't write a column about this.

 

Greg's father: I'm going upstairs...to a bathroom that has a lock on it. And no one can tell me that it doesn't.

 

Greg's mother: I have to go...talk to your father. I will deal with you boys later.

 

Greg: Rodrick, I really didn't tell her. I mean maybe sort of. But I made a deal with her and we really had a good time.

 

Rodrick: You're my brother...should never be my friend.

 

Greg's mother: Your father and I have talked and we have decided³ on your punishment.

 

Greg's father: Greg, you are grounded for two weeks, also no video games for two weeks.

 

Greg's mother: Rodrick, you may only drive to and from school for the next month. As the ringleader, you are also grounded for a month.

 

Rodrick: Mom, I'm sorry. And I won't do it again.

 

Greg's mother: I know you won't. And to make sure... We are also not allowing you to perform on the talent show.

 

Rodrick: What? No. You can't do that. Ground me for a year, I don't care. But... you have to let me play in that show. This gonna be my big break.

 

Greg's mother: I'm sorry.

 

Rodrick: Dad, come on. This is not fair. I just got Bill in the band.

 

Greg's father: Actually, Rodrick, that doesn't help you in this case. Bill is kind of a jerk.

 

Greg's mother: Our decision is final.

 

Rodrick: You're so dead.

 

Greg: Things had never been worse. Our parents are super mad at us, so we have to spend the weekend at our grandfather's boring retirement⁴ community. Holly⁵ thinks I'm Fregley. And my relationship with Rodrick is at all-time worse. So he is making it his mission to ruin my life. Quit it.

 

Rodrick: Why don't you tell mom? You are good at that.

 

Greg: Grandpa doesn't like TV. Instead, he prefers to watch the lobby on the security channel.

 

Rodrick: I should be rehearsing right now.

 

Greg: Please, grandpa, please, can we watch a real TV show now?

 

Greg's grandfather: TV is just a bunch of fakers. This is real life. Real life, can't be beated. How about we go down to the gamesroom? You boys like games, don't you?

 

Greg: The gamesroom sounds fun until you realize that all the games in there are from, like 1800. My grandpa's favorite is a really old board game called "Gutbusters".

 

Greg's grandfather: Now, remember: The objective of the game is to read the joke out, and all the other players have to try not to laugh. Good luck. There are some real tickles⁷ in there. You go first.

 

Greg: Putting economic policy before fiscal⁸ responsiblity is like... putting the cart before the horse.

 

Rodrick: That is hilarious⁹, Grandpa. Read another one, Greg.

 

Greg: I'm gonna go change my shirt.

 

Holly: Hi!

 

Greg: Oh. Hi, Holly. What are you doing here?

 

Holly: I'm visiting my grandma. She just moved here.

 

Greg: I'm on my grandpa duty.

 

Holly: Listen Greg, I'm really sorry for calling you Fregley the other day. I don't know how it happened. I think it's the Greg and Frege part. My mind just flipped¹¹ and...

 

Greg: Did you call me Fregley? I had no idea.

 

Holly: Really?

 

Greg: Not really, I heard it. It was pretty rough. But don't worry, I have the rest of middle school year to get over it.

 

Holly: What happened to your shirt?

 

Greg: Oh...my brother spit milk on it.

 

Holly: Let me guess: he was pretending to laugh at something that wasn't actually funny.

 

Greg: How would you know?

 

Holly: It's the old sibling¹² humbug¹³. Last week, my older sister put hair remover in my shampoo. If I hadn't smelled something, I become complete bald right now.

 

Greg: Why would she do that?

 

Holly: D'oh! Because she is my sister. It's part of the deal. We fight and then get over it.

 

Greg: Not with my brother. He hates me. And he will never give up.

 

 

1. get over: （与can't，couldn't连用）不再为……而感到惊讶。看一下例子：I just can't get over her leaving so suddenly.（她这么突然地离去，我直到现在还是莫名其妙。）get over还可以表示“从（疾病、失望、震惊等）中恢复过来；把……忘怀”。例如：It took me a long time to get over my first girlfriend.（过了好久我才把我的第一个女朋友忘掉。）

 

2. run a tight ship: 纪律严明，管理严格。

 

3. throw off the scent: （猎物）使（猎狗）追错方向；使失去线索；使迷失方向。请看例子：The robbers went different ways hoping to throw the police off the scent.（强盗四处逃散，想把追捕的警察甩掉。）

 

4. blind: 使失去理智（或判断力）。看一下例子：His anger blinded his reason.（愤怒使他失去了理智。）

 

5. grounded: 被禁足，被禁止外出。ground在这里指的是父母亲罚孩子待在家里，不准孩子出去玩。

 

6. ringleader: （做坏事的）头目，首恶，元凶。例如：The ringleaders were arrested and charged with mutiny.（为首的人遭到逮捕并以叛乱罪被起诉。）

 

7. You're so dead: 你死定了。

 

8. Quit it: 别闹了。

 

9. tickle⁶: 使人发笑的东西。

 

10. putting the cart before the horse: 马车放在马头前。意思是本末倒置。

 

11. hilarious: 极可笑的。例如：That is a hilarious joke.（那是个令人捧腹的笑话。）

 

12. flip¹⁰: <口> 发疯，（因激动、愤怒等）失去自我控制；变得狂热，着迷。影片中Holly指的是自己一时昏了头，才会叫错名字。请看例子：You will flip when you see my new car.（你见到我的新汽车一定会被它迷住的。）

 

13. rough: 难受的。

 

14. humbug: 诡计；骗局。

 

15. hair remover: 脱毛膏。

 

16. drive somebody nuts: 把某人逼疯。看一下例子：She used to drive you nuts before, remember?（以前她快把你逼疯了，记得吗？）

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