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1. You'd rather spend the night in your bed then out with your friends.
2. You're annoyed by all of the annoying teenagers who play their music way too loud.
What's the point in even wearing headphones?
3. Baking brings you great joy.
4. You've secretly always wanted to join a knitting class.
5. Young & The Restless is your shit.
6. You enjoy walking for leisure.
8. You despise the radio and listen to the oldies instead.
Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles…the list is far and great.
10. You're always in some sort of pain for no apparent reason.
Your lower back, shoulders, baby toes, ankles, BASICALLY EVERYTHING.
11. Your knees crack when sitting down, standing4 up, walking up the stairs, walking down the stairs…
12. There's nothing more that you love than covering up.
13. You frequently mishear the things that people say.
14. You still hand-write your lecture notes.
16. Your signature dance move is the Chicken Dance, The Lightbulb, or the YMCA.
17. You think housework is therapeutic6.
18. If you do go out, 12AM is your designated “time to call an Uber home” time.
19. You have a serious passion for wine tasting.
20. You take pride in your ever-growing book collection.
21. You aren't on social media.
…partially because you're technologically7 challenged.
22. You need naps to function correctly.
23. You ask for practical gifts on Christmas.
Candles and knee-high socks excite you.
24. People your actual age exhaust you.
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