Love is like a four-season garden

 

A relationship is like a garden, if it is to strive it must be watered regularly, special care must be given; take into account the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds must be sown and weeds must be pulled. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive, we must understand its seasons and nurture¹ love’s special needs.

 

 

 

The springtime of love

 

Falling in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy forever. We can’t image not loving a partner. It is a time of innocence². Love seems eternal. It is a magic time when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partner seems to be the perfect fit. We effortless dance together in harmony and rejoice our good fortune.

 

The summer of love

 

Throughout the summer of love, we realize our partner is not as perfect as we thought. And we have to work on our relationship, not only is our partner from other planet, but he or she is also a human who makes mistakes and flawed in certain ways. Frustration³ and disappointment arise. Weeds need to be uprooted⁴ and plant need extra watering under the hot sun. It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need. We discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of love. Many couples at this point become disillusioned⁵. They do not want to work on a relationship. They unrealistically expect it to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up. They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes requires hard work under a hot sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partner’ needs, as well as ask for and get the love we need. It doesn’t happen automatically.

 

The autumn of love

 

As result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest results of our hard work. Fall has come. It is a golden time--- rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love that accepts and understands our partner’s imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of thanksgiving and sharing. Having worked hard during the summer, we can relax and enjoy the love we have created.

 

The winter of love

 

Then weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold barren months of winter, all of our nature pulls back within itself. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal⁶.

 

It is a time and relationships we experience only unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when our lid comes off and our painful feeling emerge. It is a time of solitary⁷ growth when who need to look more to ourselves than to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing, This is the time when men hibernate⁸ in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their wells.

 

After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably⁹ returns. Once again, we are blessed with the feeling of hope, love and an abundance of possibilities. Based on our inner healing and soul searching of our winter journey, we are then able to open our hearts, and feel springtime of love.

 

爱情就象一座四季花园

 

爱情关系就像管理一座花园。想要花草繁盛就必须定时浇水，依不同的季节和不可预测的气候给予特殊的照顾。同样，要永浴爱河也必须了解爱情的四季，为爱情的特殊需求勤灌溉。

 

爱情的春天

 

恋爱就像春天，我们觉得好像会永远快乐，无法想象自己会不爱自己的另一半。这是天真无邪的时刻，爱情是永恒的，每件事情似乎都很完美，每件工作的完成都不费吹灰之力，和爱人似乎是天生一对，我们融洽地一起跳舞、享受美好时光。

 

爱情的夏天

 

在整个爱情的夏天中，我们知道伴侣不如我们想象的完美，我们必须为婚姻关系努力。伴侣不只是另一个星球的人，也是会犯错、有缺点的凡人。

 

挫折与失望提高了，杂草必须连根拔起，烈阳下的植物必须加倍浇水。爱与被爱不再那么容易。我们发现我们并非永远快乐，也非一直都能感受到爱。这现象和我们的爱情图像不同。 许多的爱情在这时破灭了，他们不愿意为这份关系努力，只是不切实际地期待永远都是春天；他们谴责伴侣，放弃努力；他们不知道爱情并非永远是那么轻而易得，有时需在烈日下辛苦工作才会有结果。在爱情的夏天里，我们必须灌溉伴侣的需求并向对方要求我们需要的爱。良好的关系不是天生的。

 

爱情的秋天

 

夏天辛勤照顾花园的结果，我们丰收了。秋天来了，这是个黄金季节——丰富且满足。我们因了解与接受伴侣和我们一样不完美，而体验了成熟的爱。这是感恩与分享的时刻，夏天辛苦的工作使我们能轻松享受我们创造的爱。

 

爱情的冬天

 

气候再转变时，冬天来了。在这寒冷、贫瘠的日子里，一切都自然回复原来的寂静。这是休息、反省、更新的时刻。我们的关系在此时经历了未解决的痛苦或隐藏的自己，当我们闭上眼睛，痛苦就浮现，这是自我寻找爱与满足的孤独成长时刻，这是治疗时刻，也是男人去洞穴冬眠，女人沉入波浪之底的时刻。

 

在黑暗的冬天中爱护与治疗自己后，春天又回来了。我们再次接受到希望、爱与无限可能的祝福。我们因冬天之旅做了内在治疗与心灵追寻，而更能敞开心胸，感受爱情的春天。

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