I was probably one of the few kids in America whose parents didn't want her to go to college. It's not that they didn't want me to go, exactly, now that I look back at it, but, just as everything else in high school, there was the major issue of money.

在美国，很少有父母不想让孩子上大学，可我就是这些孩子中的一员。确切地说，并不是父母真的不想让我上大学，如今回想起来，就像我在高中时所遭遇的其他所有事情一样，主要还是钱的问题。

 

My family is very blue collar. My parents started having kids very young, and I felt they were never able to achieve more than getting a factory job, and trying to make ends meet as their family grew.

我生活在极普通的工人家庭。我的父母很早就开始生儿育女。我感觉他们最大的能力无非就是找到一份工厂的工作，并随着家庭成员的增加而努力维持收支平衡。

 

While I was growing up, it was fine to speak in theoretical terms about going to college. I would always say I wanted to go to an Ivy¹ League school and then practice neurosurgery at the Mayo Clinic, and my dad would say there was absolutely nothing wrong with our state university. My aunt Mary,the only person in both extended families to go to school before me, had gone there and she was a big shot lawyer taking in loads of money. So Dad suggested that's what I ought to shoot for .

随着我一天天长大，理论上说，谈论上大学的事情顺理成章。我总会说我想要去一所常春藤大学就读，然后去梅奥医学中心当一名神经外科医生，爸爸就会说我们州立大学绝对没什么问题。在父母双方家族中，我的姑姑玛丽是在我之前唯一上过大学的人。她念的就是州立大学，如今是一位赫赫有名的律师，收入颇丰。因此，爸爸认为那就是我应当为之奋斗的目标。

 

The one thing I vividly² remembered hating in high school was asking for money. When my junior year arrived, I had signed up for the whole course load of Advanced Placement (AP) classes. Even though the AP tests were only $22 at that time, my mom would question why I needed the money and, I believe, huff a little bit as she wrote out the check. I gave creative speeches about how much AP would save me at college, and that those $22 would be parlayed into thousands of dollars of tuition money.

我清楚地记得，高中时我一直痛恨的一件事情就是向父母要钱。我升入高二时，报名参加了大学先修班的所有课程。尽管那时该班的测试费仅需22美元，但妈妈还是会质疑我为什么需要那些钱，并且我确信，妈妈在写支票时还有点儿生气。我多次颇有创意地讲解说：大学先修班课程能让我在大学里省下多大一笔钱，而那22美元则将会增值为成千上万的学费。

 

By the time senior year rolled around , I sent out only two applications for college, one to the state university a little more than two hours away from my hometown, and one to a school in another state. I was quickly accepted into both, but this was the point at which l felt somewhat blindsided by my parents. My dad, at least, seemed to be against the idea of my going away for school. He wanted me to attend the extension in our county and save money by continuing to live at home.

到上高三的时候，我只发出了两份大学申请书：一份发给了离我的家乡两个多小时路程的州立大学，另一份则发给了别的州的一所学校。很快我就被两所院校同时录取，但是恰恰在这一点上，父母令我感到有些吃惊。至少爸爸看起来似乎反对我离家求学的想法。他想让我在本县的进修部继续求学，并想让我继续住在家里以节省开支。

 

The mere³ thought of staying home another two years was enough to turn my stomach . I was already attending some classes at "The Stench ," because my high school didn't offer the accelerated classes I qualified⁴ for. Although it was a fine school, and many people did transfer from the extension to the main state school, I knew I wouldn't follow that path.

只要想到自己还要在家待上两年，我便会感到厌烦。我已经在上那所“烂校”的一些课程了，因为我所在的高中没开设适合我学习的快班。尽管那是一所好学校，并且许多人还确实从这所进修部转到了州里的主校区，但我知道我不会那么做。

 

For whatever reason, I had been given more ambition than my parents before me, or my two younger brothers, both of whom opted⁵ for the factory scene rather than education. But I could see this ambition having an ending point, as if it were mistakenly siphoned into me and would be sucked out if I spent too much time in my small town. I could see in my mind's eye how discouraged I would get living at home for two more years under my parents' ironclad rule, either getting frustrated⁶ at the extension, or finding more value in the attention from boys, ending up pregnant and working at the nearby gas station. Not my idea of a future.

无论什么原因，与我的父母以及宁愿选择工厂工作也不愿接受教育的两个弟弟相比，我已被赋予了更远大的抱负。但是我能看到这个抱负有一个终结点，仿佛它被错误地注入我的心中，而如果我在家乡小镇耗费太多时间，它就会被吸空。在内心深处我可以看到，如果我在父母严苛的管教下再在家里住上两年，我会变得多么沮丧，要么会对这个进修部灰心，要么会从男孩们的关注中找到更多的自我价值， 最终结婚生子，在附近的加油站工作。这可不是我对未来的想法。

 

So every day after school, my dad and I had blown out fights about where I would go to college. His logic⁷ was very sound, especially considering where I stand now, three years after graduation with debt up to my eyeballs , but I just knew l would get nowhere staying in my hometown. He threatened to give me no financial help at all, and I said that was fine, I would be able to get enough loans.

这样一来，每天放学后，我和爸爸就会为我去哪儿上大学而引发争吵。他的逻辑非常合理，尤其是考虑到我当前的处境——高中毕业后三年之内，我将债台高筑。但是我深知待在家乡我将一事无成。他威胁说不给我任何经济支持，我回答说没关系，我会得到足够的贷 款。

 

Eventually I signed my family up for a tour of the state university. My dad and I toured campus, and even though it was very cold, my dad fell in love - or at the very least seemed very enthusiastic about every corner of the campus.

最终我给全家报了名去参加州立大学观光游。我和爸爸游览了整个校园，尽管天气很冷，爸爸还是很快就喜欢上了这所学校——或者至少看上去对这所学校的每一个角落都热情有加。

 

I could tell he was softened⁸ by this visit, but the fights about where I was going to get the money continued until the day I packed everything up into our minivan . It was then, at breakfast before we made our journey down, that my dad said he was proud of me. He hadn't thought I would actually leave, and he was impressed. As my parents dropped me off at my dorm room, my mom started crying hysterically⁹ , and even my dad teared up, kissing me on the forehead, which was the first time I could remember getting hugged and kissed by them in years.

我能断定通过这次参观，他的态度缓和了。但是关于我将去哪儿筹到钱的争吵却仍在继续，直到我将所有用品都打包装进我家的小货车里。就在我们上路前吃早餐的时候，爸爸说他以我为荣。他没有想到我会真的离家远行，他深受感动。当父母驱车把我送到宿舍时，妈妈开始歇斯底里地大哭起来，就连爸爸眼里也泛起了泪花。他们亲吻了我的额头，这可是数年来我能记起的第一次被他们拥抱和亲吻。

 

At this point, my relationship with my parents changed. No longer were they the disciplinarians but they became confidants , advisors¹⁰ and an excellent support system, and I became an adult. Sometimes I still expect to get yelled at for my decisions, but they've done phenomenally well to leave me to my own life, and to just be happy when I actually call home. No matter what happens now, I know standing¹¹ my ground on where to go for school has been the best decision of my life, as I have gained both a good education and a precious life experience I never would have been exposed to had I taken any other road.

就在这一刻，我和父母的关系改变了。他们不再是严师，而是变成了我的密友、顾问以及坚强的后盾。我也变成了成年人。有时我还期盼能够因为我的决定而受到他们的责骂，但是他们已经能坦然面对，任由我安排自己的人生。当我给家里打电话的时候，他们都很高兴。无论现在情况如何，我知道为去哪儿上大学而坚持到底是我人生中最棒的一个决定，因为我不仅得到了良好的教育，还拥有了一次宝贵的人生体验——假如我选择了其他的人生道路，这些我将永远都不会拥有。

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