A long term relationship is always going to have its moments of light and shade, good and bad. That is human nature, for better or for worse（不管怎样） - heck it is even included in the marriage vows¹. If you find that your relationship is limping along a little bit, then there are many things that you can do to give it a boost. Here are 3 ways to restore a relationship and get it back on track.

 

There are so many things that you can try to improve your relationship and you should not stop at 3, in fact don't stop - keep working on improving your relationship for evermore. How long it will take to improve your relationship depends on the damage that has been done and how long it has been neglected, but you can make a lot of progress very quickly.

 

If you really want to get your relationship on track, then harping² on about past hurts and issues is not going to help it move forward. That is not to say that you should not confront issues or share your feelings - however, sometimes it is best to do this when your relationship is in a stronger place. See a counselor³ once you have restored some of your relationship and feel that you can talk about your feelings in a more balanced and open frame of mind.

 

The first thing to do is to ensure that you are spending plenty of high quality time together. Get away together if you can and if you cannot, then make sure that you are trying new things together and forming new and happy memories. Get the spark and the love back in any way that you can.

 

Another idea is to write a list of things that you love about your partner, things that you like about them and some of your fond memories that you have. When you have completed it, then you should share the list. Reliving some of the good times that you have had can really help to put a more positive spin on your attitudes.

 

The next thing to do is to make your partner feel really special. Find ways to let them know that you love them, even if you are feeling a little begrudging⁴ of it at first. Make them breakfast in bed, give them a massage⁵, send them a nice text message throughout the day, give them unexpected compliments（恭维，道贺） or anything else nice and loving that you can think of.

 

If you want to make your relationship better and get over the hump making accusations⁶, withdrawing from your partner, or trying to be the victim, the martyr⁷ or "right" is not going to help. Try out the above 3 ways to restore your relationship and get on the road to recovery.

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