A man went to church one day and afterward¹ he
stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said,
"Preacher, I'll tell you WHAT, that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd
rather you didn't use
that kind of language in the Lord's House.

The man said, "I was so damned impressed with
that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering
plate!"

The preacher said, "No shit?"