Kentucky:

The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice², so he decided³ to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help.

 

If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings⁴."

 

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

 

Louisiana:

A senior at Louisiana State was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized⁵ world.

 

Mississippi:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy⁶, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup⁷ truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license⁸ number.

 

Tennessee:

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout¹ whut?"

 

North Carolina:

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet⁹ of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby¹⁰ studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

 

The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares¹¹ in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

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