Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lava¹ lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

Men are like.....Popcorn².
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Place mats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Snow storms.
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will last.

Men are like.....Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like....Newborn babies.
They're cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap.

Men are like.....Crystal.
Some look real good, but you can still see right thru them.

Men are like.....Dry cleaners.
Most work fast and leave no ring.

Men are like..... Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.

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