A man goes to his doctor's and says, "Doc, I've just been raped¹ by an elephant!"

The stunned² doctor replies, "What makes you say that?"

"Well," says the man holding his hands about a foot or so apart, "my asshole feels this big!"

"Bend over, and let me have a look," says the doctor.

The guy bends over and sure enough, his asshole is about ten inches across.

"But I thought that elephants only had a long, thin penis?" states the doctor.

"Yeah, I know," says the agitated³ man, "but it fingered me first!"

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