Joke: Women Drivers
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-03-10 01:23 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup1 truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped3 the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper4-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically5, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan6, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip2 one off?....... I think not.


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1 pickup ANkxA     
n.拾起,获得
参考例句:
  • I would love to trade this car for a pickup truck.我愿意用这辆汽车换一辆小型轻便卡车。||The luck guy is a choice pickup for the girls.那位幸运的男孩是女孩子们想勾搭上的人。
2 flip Vjwx6     
vt.快速翻动;轻抛;轻拍;n.轻抛;adj.轻浮的
参考例句:
  • I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书,看来似乎很有趣。
  • Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。
3 flipped 5bef9da31993fe26a832c7d4b9630147     
轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 ); 按(开关); 快速翻转; 急挥
参考例句:
  • The plane flipped and crashed. 飞机猛地翻转,撞毁了。
  • The carter flipped at the horse with his whip. 赶大车的人扬鞭朝着马轻轻地抽打。
4 bumper jssz8     
n.(汽车上的)保险杠;adj.特大的,丰盛的
参考例句:
  • The painting represents the scene of a bumper harvest.这幅画描绘了丰收的景象。
  • This year we have a bumper harvest in grain.今年我们谷物丰收。
5 statistically Yuxwa     
ad.根据统计数据来看,从统计学的观点来看
参考例句:
  • The sample of building permits is larger and therefore, statistically satisfying. 建筑许可数的样本比较大,所以统计数据更令人满意。
  • The results of each test would have to be statistically independent. 每次试验的结果在统计上必须是独立的。
6 cosmopolitan BzRxj     
adj.世界性的,全世界的,四海为家的,全球的
参考例句:
  • New York is a highly cosmopolitan city.纽约是一个高度世界性的城市。
  • She has a very cosmopolitan outlook on life.她有四海一家的人生观。
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