Joke: Stuttering Salesman
文章来源: 文章作者: 发布时间:2007-03-22 02:41 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately1 needed money for the church.

Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The Reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the Reverend decided2 to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday which they did.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the Reverend immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?" Proudly handing the Reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the 200 dollars I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Peter!" The Reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman, the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to sell for the church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise3. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's 280 dollars I collected." The Reverend responded, "Splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively4, the Reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the Reverend a large envelope. The Pastor5 opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the Reverend exclaimed. "Louie, this 3200 dollars! Are you saying that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison6. "We're professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the Reverend agreed.

"I think you'd better tell how you managed this, Louie." Louie shrugged7. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered8. Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!" "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?


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1 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
2 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
3 expertise fmTx0     
n.专门知识(或技能等),专长
参考例句:
  • We were amazed at his expertise on the ski slopes.他斜坡滑雪的技能使我们赞叹不已。
  • You really have the technical expertise in a new breakthrough.让你真正在专业技术上有一个全新的突破。
4 apprehensively lzKzYF     
adv.担心地
参考例句:
  • He glanced a trifle apprehensively towards the crowded ballroom. 他敏捷地朝挤满了人的舞厅瞟了一眼。 来自辞典例句
  • Then it passed, leaving everything in a state of suspense, even the willow branches waiting apprehensively. 一阵这样的风过去,一切都不知怎好似的,连柳树都惊疑不定的等着点什么。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
5 pastor h3Ozz     
n.牧师,牧人
参考例句:
  • He was the son of a poor pastor.他是一个穷牧师的儿子。
  • We have no pastor at present:the church is run by five deacons.我们目前没有牧师:教会的事是由五位执事管理的。
6 unison gKCzB     
n.步调一致,行动一致
参考例句:
  • The governments acted in unison to combat terrorism.这些国家的政府一致行动对付恐怖主义。
  • My feelings are in unison with yours.我的感情与你的感情是一致的。
7 shrugged 497904474a48f991a3d1961b0476ebce     
vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • Sam shrugged and said nothing. 萨姆耸耸肩膀,什么也没说。
  • She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 她耸耸肩,装出一副无所谓的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
8 stammered 76088bc9384c91d5745fd550a9d81721     
v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He stammered most when he was nervous. 他一紧张往往口吃。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, \"What do you mean?\" 巴萨往椅背上一靠,结结巴巴地说,“你是什么意思?” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
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