What do you call an eternity¹?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the
car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said
"Disneyland "Left", so they turned around and went home.

What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.

Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen² orange juice?
Because it said concentrate³.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!

What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette
said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward
and said, "Where, where?"

How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch⁴ & sniff⁵ sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed⁶
to a regular one?
You have to hollow⁷ out the head.

How do you get a twinkle⁸ in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her joke on Wednesday.

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