Joke: Acquired Paint Shop Pro Syndrome_愚人笑话

Joke: Acquired Paint Shop Pro Syndrome

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-04-20 02:24 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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The Centre for Disease Control in Atlanta today announced the identification of a new disease.

Tentatively named Acquired Paint Shop Pro¹ Syndrome², the disease is highly infectious. Scientists at CDC say the disease is caused by a bacillus called staphloaibrush because of its brush-like shape. Under the microscope the bacillus is long and slender with a bristle³ like appendage⁴ at one end.

Symptoms of the disease include feverish⁵ babbling⁶ of words, such as font, blade, image, fill, and talking about invisible friends such as Kittypoo, Luv2pnt,and Qeenfont etc. Additionally, symptoms include feverish trading and storing of filters, masks and plug-ins, and a 'groaning⁷ Graphics⁸ folder⁹.

The disease is especially dangerous because it cannot only be passed along directly from one infected individual to another, but documented cases have been found where the sufferer caught the disease from reading a tutorial or joining a graphics exchange group.

The CDC says that while the disease is especially prevalent on an Internet Server called America Online cases have been found on other Servers around the globe.

Family members should be aware that while the disease may occasionally enter remission, it is at present incurable¹⁰.

The patient should be given a quiet corner with a comfortable chair, ample supply of snack type treats, and good lighting¹¹. Interruptions should be minimized.

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收听单词发音

1 pro
n.赞成，赞成的意见，赞成者
参考例句：
The two debating teams argued the question pro and con.辩论的两组从赞成与反对两方面辩这一问题。 Are you pro or con nuclear disarmament?你是赞成还是反对核裁军？

2 syndrome
n.综合病症；并存特性
参考例句：
The Institute says that an unidentified virus is to blame for the syndrome. 该研究所表示,引起这种综合症的是一种尚未确认的病毒。 Results indicated that 11 fetuses had Down syndrome. 结果表明有11个胎儿患有唐氏综合征。

3 bristle
v.（毛发）直立，气势汹汹，发怒；n.硬毛发
参考例句：
It has a short stumpy tail covered with bristles.它粗短的尾巴上鬃毛浓密。 He bristled with indignation at the suggestion that he was racist.有人暗示他是个种族主义者，他对此十分恼火。

4 appendage
n.附加物
参考例句：
After their work,the calculus was no longer an appendage and extension of Greek geometry.经过他们的工作，微积分不再是古希腊几何的附庸和延展。 Macmillan must have loathed being judged as a mere appendage to domestic politics.麦克米伦肯定极不喜欢只被当成国内政治的附属品。

5 feverish
adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的
参考例句：
He is too feverish to rest.他兴奋得安静不下来。 They worked with feverish haste to finish the job.为了完成此事他们以狂热的速度工作着。

6 babbling
n.胡说，婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 )；作潺潺声（如流水）；含糊不清地说话；泄漏秘密
参考例句：
I could hear the sound of a babbling brook. 我听得见小溪潺潺的流水声。来自《简明英汉词典》 Infamy was babbling around her in the public market-place. 在公共市场上，她周围泛滥着对她丑行的种种议论。来自英汉文学 - 红字

7 groaning
adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的动词groan的现在分词形式
参考例句：
She's always groaning on about how much she has to do. 她总抱怨自己干很多活儿。 The wounded man lay there groaning, with no one to help him. 受伤者躺在那里呻吟着，无人救助。

8 graphics
n.制图法，制图学；图形显示
参考例句：
You've leveraged your graphics experience into the video area.你们把图形设计业务的经验运用到录像业务中去。 Improved graphics took computer games into a new era.经改进的制图技术将电脑游戏带进了一个新时代。

9 folder
n.纸夹，文件夹
参考例句：
Peter returned the plan and charts to their folder.彼得把这份计划和表格放回文件夹中。 He draws the document from its folder.他把文件从硬纸夹里抽出来。

10 incurable
adj.不能医治的，不能矫正的，无救的；n.不治的病人，无救的人
参考例句：
All three babies were born with an incurable heart condition.三个婴儿都有不可治瘉的先天性心脏病。 He has an incurable and widespread nepotism.他们有不可救药的，到处蔓延的裙带主义。

11 lighting
n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光
参考例句：
The gas lamp gradually lost ground to electric lighting.煤气灯逐渐为电灯所代替。 The lighting in that restaurant is soft and romantic.那个餐馆照明柔和而且浪漫。

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