Joke: 23 Things You Would Never Hear_愚人笑话

Joke: 23 Things You Would Never Hear

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2007-07-17 08:07 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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I'll swallow it all ... I love the taste. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy¹? Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies²? That was a great fart! Please do another one? I've decided³ to stop wearing clothes around the house. You're so sexy when you're hung over. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you and then go shopping. Let's subscribe⁴ to Hustler? Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses⁵? I'll be out painting the house. I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play Saturday too. Honey ... our new neighbors daughter is sunbathing⁶ again, come see. No, No I'll take the car and have the oil changed. Your mother is way better than mine. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself some new clubs. I fully⁷ understand ... our anniversary comes every year for Christ's sake, you go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever. Oh come on, what do you say we get a good porno⁸ movie, a rack of beer and have my friend Diana over for a threesome? Not the fucking mall again. Come on let's go to that new strip joint⁹? Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging¹⁰ handicap down to 7 or 8. You need your sleep you big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings. God ... if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust¹¹! I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.

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收听单词发音

1 pussy
n.(儿语)小猫，猫咪
参考例句：
Why can't they leave my pussy alone?为什么他们就不能离我小猫咪远一点？ The baby was playing with his pussy.孩子正和他的猫嬉戏。

2 buddies
n.密友( buddy的名词复数 )；同伴；弟兄；（用于称呼男子，常带怒气）家伙v.（如密友、战友、伙伴、弟兄般）交往( buddy的第三人称单数 )；做朋友；亲近（…）；伴护艾滋病人
参考例句：
We became great buddies. 我们成了非常好的朋友。来自辞典例句 The two of them have become great buddies. 他们俩成了要好的朋友。来自辞典例句

3 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

4 subscribe
vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助
参考例句：
I heartily subscribe to that sentiment.我十分赞同那个观点。 The magazine is trying to get more readers to subscribe.该杂志正大力发展新订户。

5 asses
n. 驴，愚蠢的人，臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人
参考例句：
Sometimes I got to kick asses to make this place run right. 有时我为了把这个地方搞得像个样子，也不得不踢踢别人的屁股。来自教父部分 Those were wild asses maybe, or zebras flying around in herds. 那些也许是野驴或斑马在成群地奔跑。

6 sunbathing
n.日光浴
参考例句：
tourists sunbathing on the beach 在海滩上沐浴着阳光的游客 We've been sunbathing on the beach. 我们一直在海滩上晒日光浴。

7 fully
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
参考例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。 They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

8 porno
n.春宫，色情画；色情文学，电影等
参考例句：
They say she was in a porno movie,with a member of the local police department.他们说她跟本地警察局里的一个人拍过春宫电影。 The local porno shop has been shut down for selling materials to minors.当地的色情商店因向未成年人出售色情物品而被关闭。

9 joint
adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合
参考例句：
I had a bad fall,which put my shoulder out of joint.我重重地摔了一跤，肩膀脫臼了。 We wrote a letter in joint names.我们联名写了封信。

10 nagging
adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责
参考例句：
Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。 I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。来自《简明英汉词典》

11 bust
vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部
参考例句：
I dropped my camera on the pavement and bust it. 我把照相机掉在人行道上摔坏了。 She has worked up a lump of clay into a bust.她把一块黏土精心制作成一个半身像。

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