Joke: The Bachelor's Diet_愚人笑话

Joke: The Bachelor's Diet

文章来源：文章作者：发布时间：2006-12-01 07:11 字体： [大中小]　进入论坛

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Bachelor's Diet

MONDAY:

BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime¹ but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili², a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

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TUESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

LUNCH - Go to the office vending³ machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea⁴.

DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher⁵ of Sangria at El Flasho's.

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WEDNESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Jaws⁶ couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps⁷

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THURSDAY:

BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers⁸.

DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

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FRIDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

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SATURDAY:

BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.

LUNCH - Ditto

DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts⁹. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

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SUNDAY:

BREAKFAST - Three Bloody¹⁰ Marys and half a Twinkie.

LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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收听单词发音

1 dime
n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角
参考例句：
A dime is a tenth of a dollar.一角银币是十分之一美元。 The liberty torch is on the back of the dime.自由火炬在一角硬币的反面。

2 chili
n.辣椒
参考例句：
He helped himself to another two small spoonfuls of chili oil.他自己下手又加了两小勺辣椒油。 It has chocolate,chili,and other spices.有巧克力粉，辣椒，和其他的调味品。

3 vending
v.出售（尤指土地等财产）( vend的现在分词 )；（尤指在公共场所）贩卖；发表（意见，言论）；声明
参考例句：
Why Are You Banging on the Vending Machine? 你为什么敲打这台自动售货机？来自朗文快捷英语教程 2 Coca-Cola had to adapt almost 300,000 vending machines to accept the new coins. 可口可乐公司必须使将近三十万台自动贩卖机接受新货币。来自超越目标英语第5册

4 nausea
n.作呕，恶心；极端的憎恶(或厌恶)
参考例句：
Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.怀孕期常有恶心的现象。 He experienced nausea after eating octopus.吃了章鱼后他感到恶心。

5 pitcher
n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手
参考例句：
He poured the milk out of the pitcher.他从大罐中倒出牛奶。 Any pitcher is liable to crack during a tight game.任何投手在紧张的比赛中都可能会失常。

6 jaws
n.口部；嘴
参考例句：
The antelope could not escape the crocodile's gaping jaws. 那只羚羊无法从鱷鱼张开的大口中逃脱。 The scored jaws of a vise help it bite the work. 台钳上有刻痕的虎钳牙帮助它紧咬住工件。

7 scraps
油渣
参考例句：
Don't litter up the floor with scraps of paper. 不要在地板上乱扔纸屑。 A patchwork quilt is a good way of using up scraps of material. 做杂拼花布棉被是利用零碎布料的好办法。

8 leftovers
n.剩余物，残留物，剩菜
参考例句：
He can do miracles with a few kitchen leftovers.他能用厨房里几样剩饭做出一顿美餐。 She made supper from leftovers she had thrown together.她用吃剩的食物拼凑成一顿晚饭。

9 sprouts
n.新芽，嫩枝( sprout的名词复数 )v.发芽( sprout的第三人称单数 )；抽芽；出现；（使）涌现出
参考例句：
The wheat sprouts grew perceptibly after the rain. 下了一场雨，麦苗立刻见长。来自《现代汉英综合大词典》 The sprouts have pushed up the earth. 嫩芽把土顶起来了。来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

10 bloody
adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染
参考例句：
He got a bloody nose in the fight.他在打斗中被打得鼻子流血。 He is a bloody fool.他是一个十足的笨蛋。

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