You name your children Eudora, Hyperlink¹ and dotcom.

You turn off your modem² and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment³.

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

You laugh at people with 28.8-baud modems⁴.

You start using smileys in your snail⁵ mail.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You don't know what gender⁶ three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html

After reading this joke, you immediately forward it to a thousand of your closest friends.

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