THIS IS A FLAME


Dear

[x] dork [ ] dummy¹ [ ] ignorant snot [ ] stupid [ ] nerd [ ] Elvis
[x] idiot[ ] computer geek [ ] retard² [ ] sycophant³ [ ] Samuel Stoddard

You are being flamed because

[x] you continued a boring useless stupid thread
[x] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to
[ ] you posted a "test"
[ ] you used vi and left a whole bunch of editing garbage on the screen
[ ] you posted a request for an article which was posted three times in the
past week
[ ] you claimed to have the original GGBJ
[ ] you posted some sort of religious junk that doesn't belong in this group
[x] you posted an article that was not funny, unoriginal and very boring
[x] your mother dresses you funny

To recant, you must

[x] actually post a humorous article
[ ] give up all your worldly possessions and become a Tibetan monk
[ ] hang yourself by the big toe for 72 hours
[x] abstain⁴ from sex for a month (shouldn't be too hard for you)
[ ] shave your head, paint a target on it, and go to Iraq
[ ] give your MP (Congressman in U.S.A., I guess) a donation of three hemp
plants to decorate his office
[ ] become politically correct and demand that manholes be renamed to
peroffspringopenings
[ ] cut your testicles (or breasts, if you're a woman) off
[ ] _________________________________________________

Thank you for the time you have taken to read this, and please detest⁵ from
the offending behavior that led to this flame. Also, GO AWAY!



END FLAME

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