One day little Billy went to school and the teacher told the kids to make a story at home and tell her the moral. The next day the teacher asks for the first volunteer and little Suzy says "my dad owns a farm and every Sunday we take the eggs into town. One Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs cracked." The teacher asks what the moral is. Suzy says "don't keep all your eggs in one basket".

The next person up was little Lucy. Little Lucy says "my dad also owns a farm and we put the eggs in an incubator. Last week only 8 of 12 hatched." Said Lucy "the moral is, don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

Next is little Billy. He says "my uncle Ted¹ was in the Vietnamese War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory and he jumps out just before the plane crashes with a machine gun, a machete, and a case of beer. He drinks the case of beer on the way down and lands surrounded by enemies. He kills 70 with his machine gun and runs out of bullets. He kills 20 with his machete and the blade breaks. He kills 10 with his bare hands." The teacher asks if there is any possible moral for this story. Little Billy says "don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking!"

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