10) You can't use 5-1/4" floppy¹ disks.

9) You can't go shopping with your friends for a Sound Blaster board because Macs don't need one.

8) Your 200 MHz 604e Mac does integer calculation equivalent to a 362 MHz Pentium Pro², but you can only brag³ about 200 MHz.

7) Networking a Mac is not an impressive feat⁴.

6) Macs don't come in black, and we all know black cabinets make computers faster and louder.

5) You have to add a system extension to make Mac menus stay down like Windows. We like pokey menus because it's too hard to hold that heavy mouse button down while we read.

4) And the Mac mouse is too slow. We want our cursor to fly wildly off the screen when we twitch⁵ our wrist because hyper cursors make our PCs look faster.

3) You just plug Macs in and they work. Where's the challenge in that?

2) When you add stuff, you just plug them in and they work, too. Again, no challenge.

1) Your clients and teachers know about Numbers 2 and 3, so they expect Mac users to deliver results, not excuses!

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